Sports-like commentary during a sex scene

Author	Post
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 9:12PM Anyone who has watched baseball, football, or hokey games on TV knows the importance of the sports commentator for generating viewer interest and excitement in the game. The commentator builds up the tension of anticipation, when something important is about to happen in the game. He entertains the viewer with his comments about the game and the players during breaks in the game. He focuses the viewer's attention on important aspects of the game. And he helps the viewers focus and fully experience their feelings of triumph and disappointment during the game. Without the comments of a sports commentator, watching any sport on TV would be mostly boring. I think that many porn scenes would entertain the viewer a lot more with the presence of a sports-like commentator who enthusiastically comments about the studs and the sluts and the various aspect of sex they are having with each other. And such commentary wouldn't be that hard to add to porn scenes. It doesn't need to be live. The commentator's voice can be added after the scene is filmed. All you need is an enthusiastic commentator with a good voice, a good sex-vocabulary, and expert knowledge of various porn sex-acts. [Link]
jrsl76 Senior Member Perfection 4024 Posts 8/07	Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 9:19PM This would annoy the shit out of me. I already hate it when the director won't shut the fuck up during a scene, i.e. Khan Tusion asking boatloads of highly inappropriate and fairly demeaning questions during his scenes. Talk about a wood killer. Edited by - jrsl76 on 1/20/2008 9:20:03 PM [Link]
Dan Senior Member 2056 Posts 6/07	Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 9:21PM If the commentary is poorly done. Then of course it would be annoying. Such commentary would be annoying in sports too. It needs to be something that adds to the scene and entertains the viewer. And not something that distracts the viewer from the sex-action at hand. Edited by - Dan on 1/20/2008 9:23:00 PM [Link]
jrsl76 Senior Member Perfection 4024 Posts 8/07	Posted - Jan 20 2008 : 9:46PM In this case, I'd have to see it to know if I'd like it. I just generally don't like extraneous factors in scenes. I really don't particularly like music in them either. I'd prefer to hear the natural sounds of the scene. [Link]
pwing Member 413 Posts 4/05	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 6:20PM Isn't porn interesting enough without someone describing what's going on? I definitely couldn't stand someone talking over the performers telling me things that I could most definitely discern on my own. Instead of a "commentator" what would be a better idea is a separate audio track with some dialogue by the director or performers perhaps. This would only work in theory though as I can't imagine directors or performers actually willing to sit down to watch their work with the intention of giving a play-by-play of what's going on. It just seems a little redundant especially when most DVDs have BTS already. [Link]

stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 6:30PM I like to hear the girls talking dirty to the camera,or the girl letting herself go during a scene and being really noisy and vocal.To have a running commentary would kill it for me...it would be worse if it was like a Snooker commentator with really hushed voice and almost whispering "Is he going to go for the pink or the brown" [Link]
jrsl76 Senior Member Perfection 4024 Posts 8/07	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 6:35PM stinkfist wrote: I like to hear the girls talking dirty to the camera,or the girl letting herself go during a scene and being really noisy and vocal.To have a running commentary would kill it for me...it would be worse if it was like a Snooker commentator with really hushed voice and almost whispering "Is he going to go for the pink or the brown" Click to expand +1 [Link]
the unknown pervert Deactivated User I'd like to stay but I've got a plane to catch. 3243 Posts 5/06	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 9:17PM There have been a ton of "what turns you on" threads here. I don't remember Dick Vitale's voice being listed in any of them. [Link]
Stoya Member 430 Posts 10/07	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 9:32PM pwing wrote: This would only work in theory though as I can't imagine directors or performers actually willing to sit down to watch their work with the intention of giving a play-by-play of what's going on. It just seems a little redundant especially when most DVDs have BTS already. Click to expand I think it would be hysterical as a bts segment. [Link]
professorwolf Member The Fringe, USA 90 Posts 7/00	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 10:50PM Check Howard Cosell doing the play-by-play of the consumation of Woody Allen's marriage in Bananas. [Link]
rob2 Member 826 Posts 2/04	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 11:11PM professorwolf wrote: Check Howard Cosell doing the play-by-play of the consumation of Woody Allen's marriage in Bananas. Click to expand Truly a hilarious scene, especially when they stop it due to a cut over the eye... [Link]
dead horse Most Beaten Member 305 Posts 6/06	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 11:26PM the unknown pervert wrote: There have been a ton of "what turns you on" threads here. I don't remember Dick Vitale's voice being listed in any of them. Click to expand [Link]
dead horse Most Beaten Member 305 Posts 6/06	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 11:27PM I tend to watch porn with the sound off anyways it has been mentioned before but MST3K for bad porn as a re release would be cheap for the companies to put out, maybe as an internet thing, and if you got busted with it you could say it was just for the funny commentary [Link]
ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06	Posted - Jan 22 2008 : 11:51PM this could work as an optional audio track. imo, it would be better if it were done by females. if guys did it, it would mostly be a wood killer. i would definitely listen to it if it were done right by the right people. [Link]
elgringoviejo58 Senior Member 1460 Posts 1/07	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 12:47AM I just wanna hear the girl, the whole girl, and nothing but the girl. [Link]

HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 1:14AM All you need is an enthusiastic commentator with a good voice, a good sex-vocabulary, and expert knowledge of various porn sex-acts. Click to expand At first glance I thought this was a terrible idea - but maybe with the right enthusiasm??? Who knows - of course, as an secondary audio option. Or maybe just put in the sports announcer from Meatloaf's Paradise By The Dashboard Light over all sex scenes: He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher glance over, winds up, and it's bunted, bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze in on! Here he comes, squeeze play, it's gonna be close, here's the throw, there's the play at the plate, holy cow, I think he's gonna make it! And then at that point cock enters pussy. Or ass. Whichever. [Link]
dead horse Most Beaten Member 305 Posts 6/06	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 1:20AM it could be educational [Link]
elgringoviejo58 Senior Member 1460 Posts 1/07	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 1:57AM It would only interest me if the commentary were to de done by women. Perhaps Suzy Kolber or Pam Oliver might be willing to give it a shot? [Link]
Ultrasiet2 Wam Bam! Clan Monique, Ultra, Jesse - bustin' suckas down under! 1433 Posts 12/04	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 2:12AM Dan, I'm going to wholeheartedly say this is a good idea. Let's take a scene like one of Raul Cristian's euro-efforts. Who gives a damn what the guys, Raul or really the girl is saying. Now watch the same scene with commentary from Sasha Grey and Bobbi Starr. They comment on the sex, on the set-up, egg the girl on, then their commentary goes off the trails as they do each other on-air. Play it for allure. Or they could play it for laughs, do a comedic dubbing of the scene. If we're worried about offending other people's sensibilities by dubbing over their work, what if they dubbed their own? Imagine picking up Bobbi Starr's Crimes of the Cunt scene with extra commentary by the lady herself doing her best John Madden impersonation as she play-by-play describes her scene, and her mindset at each moment... You need the right personalities for this to work, and a zany kind of director. Sex is comedy, so the saying goes, but good luck getting this to work, as there are far too many monomanical, earnest clowns both making the films and buying them. End of. [Link]
maltedecker All-Star Member 369 Posts 5/07	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 4:41AM i wouldn't want to watch it if it's the only option but as an additional audio-stream it sounds like fun. what about a male and a female commentator? this might add some more fun cause we get both opinions...and i think doing it after the scene is done might be dangerous cause imho it must be spontaneous. they should not have the chance to watch the scene before they comment. [Link]
SandySweet Member The Sweetest Girl In Porn 155 Posts 12/07	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 5:05AM jrsl76 wrote: This would annoy the shit out of me. I already hate it when the director won't shut the fuck up during a scene, i.e. Khan Tusion asking boatloads of highly inappropriate and fairly demeaning questions during his scenes. Talk about a wood killer. Click to expand i have to agree. it's also distracting for us as talent when the director keeps talking while we are trying to get into the sex. who is Khan Tusion? i want to make sure to avoid this one. [Link]
the unknown pervert Deactivated User I'd like to stay but I've got a plane to catch. 3243 Posts 5/06	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 9:58AM dead horse wrote: I tend to watch porn with the sound off anyways it has been mentioned before but MST3K for bad porn as a re release would be cheap for the companies to put out, maybe as an internet thing, and if you got busted with it you could say it was just for the funny commentary Click to expand That would be a perfect job for me. No wonder (to quote Jimmy Buffet) I feel like my occupation's just not around. [Link]
Cuddly Wombat Senior Member Just another bare bum in the shiower 1739 Posts 12/04	Posted - Jan 23 2008 : 10:25AM I have seen this done to great effect in Japanese porn. In fact, one of the hottest scenes I have ever seen was one where a former Japanese tv presenter made her first JAV film and her first scene was her fully-dressed and commentating on two other people having sex. She was in the entire scene, inches away from the action and constantly speaking, with microphone in hand. In later scenes she participated in the sex, and so this first non-sex role was an excellent tease! [Link]
jim2 Member 232 Posts 7/06	Posted - Jan 25 2008 : 1:01AM I think there was some of what you are describing in the American Cocksucking Championship series. [Link]
elgringoviejo58 Senior Member 1460 Posts 1/07	Posted - Jan 25 2008 : 6:21AM Were the commentators sausage-bearers or women? [Link]

RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06	Posted - Jan 25 2008 : 6:54AM This sounds like a great way to ruin a scene to me. Half the time, they don't even get the sex right. Don't mess it up any more than it already is. [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - Jan 25 2008 : 11:36AM I saw a scene from one from Randy West's U&Cummer's , which I understand that he purchased as he is no where to be found, where a babe with a very hot sounding voice, coaches the couple in the scene to do certain things (i.e. "finger her pussy now" or "that looks hot"). It is a very hot scene as the coaching is mixed in with the moans of the girl. If someone knows the scene and can remember what U&C it is in, I would appreciate the heads up. [Link]
RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06	Posted - Jan 25 2008 : 11:50AM The best thing about Randy West's U&C series was that he got some real cuties for it and he usually fucked them pretty good. That and the video quality was decent at a time when that was hard to find in porn (Outside of a few notables). [Link]
realtip Deactivated User 2301 Posts 6/04	Posted - Feb 11 2008 : 11:12PM Justin Slayer did a commentary for one of his flicks. I don't remember which movie it was. I think it was a movie called Just Fuckin', but I'm not sure. The commentary was included as a DVD extra. Basically, Justin and some other dude (I think the cameraman) just talked about everything that went down in making the movie as the movie played, like things they remember about the girls in the scenes, etc. It was a good commentary, and lets you hear about the scenes from the filmmakers/performers' perspective. The only problem is that I don't know how many people are going to be willing to sit through a whole movie and comment on it straight through for more than two hours. It seems like you'd get tired of talking after a while. That might be another reason it's not done more often. [Link]
wheat Senior Member You want a toe? I can get you a toe 1131 Posts 4/06	Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 1:43AM Some people actually want more talk from directors? arrrhhh it's the worst thing about porn these directors who think they are witty so they talk all through the scene's with their inane rubbish. [Link]
Pagoda Senior Member Thread Killer 1747 Posts 10/05	Posted - Feb 12 2008 : 4:50PM I watch porn like I watch sporting events, so this would be a logical next step for me. [Link]
crazyman1212 Member USA 60 Posts 3/06	Posted - Feb 13 2008 : 9:43PM Mason used to do commentaries for her movies with the girls in scenes. Always interesting. [Link]