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All Forums > The Porn Pool > The Porn Pool Forum Page 296 > Stupidest line of dialog heard on a porn flick.
AuthorPost
Planet Sex
Deactivated User


1951 Posts
6/01
Posted - Jan 2 2003 : 8:05AM

"Me chama de lareira, me enche de pau e me toca fogo!!!"

From "Invasão A.N.A.L.". The original line is in brazilian portuguese, that roughly translated is like that:

"Call me "fireplace", stick a log on me and set me on fire!"

...
Oh good! My dog's found a chainsaw!

Broken_Halo
Member

10 Posts
9/02
Posted - Jan 3 2003 : 8:27PM
How about any Max Hardcore movie? Choose from the following Shakespearean dialogues:
-"Yeaaaahh, Here it comes..yeah, oh yeahhh" as he is urinating on some womans face or in her mouth.
Murray Head
Member

263 Posts
9/02
Posted - Jan 3 2003 : 10:55PM
Thankfully I've forgotten what movie it was,but the idiot director wouldn't shut up commenting on the scene as he filmed it.The porn actor was fingering a woman's ass and pussy at the same time.

Irritating director:"Hey it looks like a bowling ball,yeh,like a 9/10 split you got there....."

junglew
Senior Member

1042 Posts
12/02
Posted - Jan 4 2003 : 3:00AM
About 25 years ago as I was sitting in a porno
theater in Dallas as I watched a film that luckly I have forgotten the title of, as a guy picked up this
young girl as she got of the bus. They go to his
apartment and as he is off screen fixing a couple of
drinks their is a long pause as we are watching
the young lady. Then we hear the director whisper to her
"Say something". She then says the immortal words "Nice
place you got here"
Who says there are no real actresses in porno.
Wayne
Rumplestilt Skin
Deactivated User

931 Posts
7/02
Posted - Jan 4 2003 : 8:29AM
All the dialogue's bad.
IT'S PORN!
 
cal444
Independent Editor CalCutterPost.com

927 Posts
10/01
Posted - Jan 4 2003 : 10:38PM
I'm cuming! From any female talent. With super rare
exceptions.


Cal444
Somewhere doing Nasty Nymphos 35

Edited by - cal444 on 1/5/2003 10:36:58 PM

Henri Pachard
Member

54 Posts
12/02
Posted - Jan 5 2003 : 10:35PM
I must have shot the following lines far more times than I'd like to remember: "Fuck me harder with your huge, big, black cock, you mother fucker!" I would have much preferred her whispering:"You mother fucker...", and only once.

But the classic dumb line, as Jack Remy once told me, was (back in the early seventies) in a film where Herschel Savage, in a role as a judge, was fucking Angel Kelly in a sex scene in the "Judges chambers". The line was delivered at the point of no return, where it's likely to never have any retakes, the "wet shot". Of course you know what's coming, just as Jack Remy feared, as the film was grinding close to the end of the roll...

"Here comes the judge..."

Jack shot and directing this one, and all he could say when it was over was: "I guess we'll keep it."

Happy New Year.

H.P.

Murray Head
Member

263 Posts
9/02
Posted - Jan 6 2003 : 12:27AM
"Here comes the judge..."
Walter Burns
Legendary Quoter

IAFD, supporters of beastiality. Just say no.
7564 Posts
11/02
Posted - Jan 6 2003 : 12:57PM
Wait a minute. Herschel Savage and Angel Kelly were making porn in the early seventies?
Henri Pachard
Member

54 Posts
12/02
Posted - Jan 7 2003 : 12:04AM
Make that the early to mid eighties, Walter Burns.

My memory for dates gets worse as keep adding more memories to dates.

H.P.

Walter Burns
Legendary Quoter

IAFD, supporters of beastiality. Just say no.
7564 Posts
11/02
Posted - Jan 7 2003 : 1:36AM
I was just kidding.
In fact, I know what you mean. My memory isn't what it used to be, and I am a historian (no kidding). If you have more to remember, you have also more to forget.

Take care, and "remember" to make another flick with a decent toilet scene, like you used to do in your heydays. Surely, any company worth its salt will see the possibilities of such a project.

pinkincide
Member

229 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jan 7 2003 : 5:37AM

"I'm not tryin' to hurt you, sweetheart. I'm just trying to love ya."

Aging dirtback to Cheyenne Silver as he tries to work his dick up her butt. Sounded like a line he's used before on girls MUCH younger.

Sheky666
Member

100 Posts
2/01
Posted - Jan 12 2003 : 6:45PM

Interviewer: "So how old is your pussy?"
Starlet: "Eighteen"
Interviewer: "That's what an eighteen year old pussy looks like. So how old are you?"

-=>Sheky<=-

Planet Sex
Deactivated User

1951 Posts
6/01
Posted - Jan 13 2003 : 1:13PM
headbanger
Member

48 Posts
10/02
Posted - Jan 13 2003 : 7:44PM
Yes, I don't know how you can narrow it down to just one line!
 
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jan 15 2003 : 7:04AM
That's a good one!

Second stupidest line goes to the response: "Not right now you don't." LOL

Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Jan 8 2011 : 1:39PM
Stupidest_FEST'11!
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jan 8 2011 : 2:46PM
One of my very first posts right there!
the unknown pervert
Deactivated User

I'd like to stay but I've got a plane to catch.
3243 Posts
5/06
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 11:05AM
I've had to see this one at least a hundred times. A girl is in the middle of giving a blowjob to guy. From out of nowhere another guy wanders in and asks the first guy "What's going on?" What's going on? Did you leave your fucking seeing eye dog outside? What do you mean what's going on? I know every picture doesn't necessarily tell a story but this one does. And to make it even worse, of course the idiot gets to join in. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong--you are not supposed to reward utter stupidity. Kick his ass out, tell him to fucking knock the next time instead of just wandering in and don't ask the stupidest fucking question that could possibly be asked given the situation.
elgringoviejo58
Senior Member

1460 Posts
1/07
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 11:22AM
The winner ought to be Max Hardcore.
DogOfPavlov
Member

"Breast of haunch?"..."Does my life depend on it?"
91 Posts
11/10
Posted - Jan 11 2011 : 11:50AM
I find it always kind of strange or even irritating if the girl screams "Fuck the shit out of me" during an anal scene.
Creates some disgusting immaginations.....
Zoid
Senior Member

Boobies and Anal
2004 Posts
5/04
Posted - Jan 14 2011 : 3:09PM
"Your cock feels so big in my ass!" ..... during vaginal sex.
wheelchair1
Member

92 Posts
2/05
Posted - Jan 14 2011 : 3:22PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but one that stuck in my head was from Jenna Haze as she was sucking a guy off right after getting fucked in her ass (by the same guy): [I paraphrase] "Mmmm, I think I can taste the turkey sandwich I had for lunch yesterday."
The reaction that comes to mind is: No'ho!!
Gore Gore Girl All-Star Supporter
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jan 14 2011 : 8:55PM
Henri Pachard used to post here?? Cool.
That's not a line from a movie, that's me saying that, btw.
Ordell
Deactivated User

1042 Posts
6/05
Posted - Jan 15 2011 : 12:43AM
Jeff Stryker is the king of stupid dialogue, gay and straight.
 
joachim
Senior Member

03 12 15 16 18 04 07 13 18
2285 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jan 15 2011 : 12:58AM
Herschel Savage wrote the book on this. I think it was in Babewatch 11 that he was fucking Shasta. He took his dick (his 'gavel,' as he put it; Shasta plays the mayor in this one) and whapped it on the outside of her pussy and said, "Order in the cunt! Order in the cunt!" Even dumber though, Shasta said, "Oh, that turns me on."
elgringoviejo58
Senior Member

1460 Posts
1/07
Posted - Jan 15 2011 : 9:08AM
She was just happy that de didn't say "Odor in the cunt".
MissJennaHaze
Member

401 Posts
4/06
Posted - Jan 16 2011 : 8:34PM
I don't recall ever saying that in a scene.
His Dudeness
All Business

Shut the fuck up, Donny!!
2793 Posts
4/10
Posted - Jan 16 2011 : 10:02PM
Hey Jenna just wanted to tell you that I think you are so fine. You look like you'd be a blast to just kick back and chill with.
Splashie
Member

17 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jan 17 2011 : 8:32AM
I don't recall the name of the movie or if it was from a website or something. It's 2 girls in the back of a schoolbus, one is a really annoying blonde with a high pitched voice with the most irritating accent. The other shows her clit to which the annoying answers:
"awwww may gawd u pierced ur puwssy, gawd I can't belieeve you pierced ur puwssy, where'dju do thawt"
Drebin
Member

686 Posts
3/09
Posted - Jan 27 2011 : 1:56AM
before jenna gets dp'd in pretty as they cum asks the guys if they wanna make a jenna sandwich lol...
i seen a lot of jenna and she only delivers lines that are super sexy during porn
Luke Lake
Deactivated User

878 Posts
8/10
Posted - Feb 4 2011 : 6:26PM
For me, when girls tell jokes that are in the script, It's not really funny.
When girls are either Ad-Libbing or Inside-Jokes; I love those comments like: (All From Brazzers.com)
- Sophie Dee "Your Assholes talking to me"
- Nikki Hunter "I'm Hungry. For Big Sausages" (Pulling An Ace Ventura Naked with Nikki Benz Interviewing her)
- Nikki Benz "I Can't do that, I'm too white" (Talking about ass shaking with Mason Moore)
- Claire Dames "Your Ass Stinks" (While an Unknown Actress sat on her face)
o hai itz will
Member

13 Posts
1/11
Posted - Feb 4 2011 : 9:27PM
"The loadman cometh" -Peter North-
"give me that dirty shit dick" (or something like that) -forget the girl but was in Tori Black is Pretty Filthy 2 i think-
sleepingdog
Member

22 Posts
4/10
Posted - Feb 4 2011 : 10:11PM
There was some early 80's flick with a guy and a chick in a motel room and the guy was supposed to be a trucker. He uttered what had to be the stupidest line I think I've ever heard:
"I'm gonna build my peter...uh...like my Peterbilt outside"
At some point during the scene, the chick asks if she can spit his load back in his mouth after he comes. He thinks for a second and says "sure". At the end of the scene, the chick pushes him back on the bed after he spooges in her mouth and crawls up to him and is about to spit back to him and he turns his head and says "I changed my mind". Didn't seem planned either as the chick laughs her ass off.
groin-grabbingly
Member

555 Posts
2/09
Posted - Feb 4 2011 : 11:27PM
i still remember some of the things Jenna said so breathlessly to Mark Davis in Internally Yours #2
"I can't wait to feel you cum inside me! Feel you squirt your load!"
the lady knows how to talk
 
MrTibbs
Member

372 Posts
7/09
Posted - Feb 5 2011 : 3:04AM
"Oh my God, you're piercing my soul!!" -some white girl in a scene from a Hush Hush Entertainment movie, IIRC the 'soul piercer' was Richard Mann.
RichardMannXXX
New Member

1 Posts
6/10
Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 2:23PM
I do what I can
Richard Mann - http:/RichardMannsWorld.com
mharris127
Senior Member

1844 Posts
8/09
Posted - Oct 16 2011 : 5:02PM
Yes, he did from what I can see here. Unfortunately Henri has passed on now, it would have been very interesting to pick his brain regarding porn as he produced for so long in porn's heyday.
As for the dialogue (yes, that is the correct spelling), the stupidest and most predictable is a faked "Oh, oh, oh, oh, Ohhhhhhhh", then the woman supposedly orgasms (and sometimes squirts a bucket full of whatever that substance is called -- the squirt is obviously faked by the amount that appears).
Edited by - mharris127 on 10/16/2011 5:07:58 PM
Cuckoldee82
Member

yes mistress
34 Posts
7/11
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 8:49AM
"i can feel you all up in my guts" said by beauty dior in some scene
threadman80
Member

130 Posts
10/07
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 3:17PM
It was when Wesley Pipes said...
Pete Zaface
Senior Member

3064 Posts
8/03
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 4:04PM
Forgot the video. It was along time ago. Some American porn guy trying to sound like a Frenchman for some reason: "Suckez moi."
RocketMan
Member

680 Posts
6/08
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 7:51PM
My favourite is in 'Once You Go Black 3'. Kaylynn is sucking on a cock and the guy says 'I like how you touch me miss. I can feel your energy'. The line is so hilariously lame that Kaylynn starts laughing while she's sucking him and says 'what the fuck - shut up'. A great, fun scene.
Original Randy
Member

150 Posts
2/10
Posted - Oct 17 2011 : 11:08PM
Gen Padova, while being fucked senseless: "Turn me into a worthless vegetable!" Classic.......
Rosco Fuji
Deactivated User

On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick!
3309 Posts
2/09
Posted - Oct 18 2011 : 12:20AM
LMAO
Rosco Fuji
Deactivated User

On the licking stick, Mr. Magic Dick!
3309 Posts
2/09
Posted - Oct 18 2011 : 12:25AM
"Dropping Loads"
Luke Lake
Deactivated User

878 Posts
8/10
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 2:04AM
Update: the Scene was with Actress Victoria Lawson and was called "Squeal Like A Pig"
mharris127
Senior Member

1844 Posts
8/09
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 8:47PM
There was actually a male performer using that phrase as a trademark of sorts. I think it was Nick Manning but am not 100% sure right now.
Cody McLarge
Senior Member

2668 Posts
8/10
Posted - Oct 19 2011 : 10:23PM
Yup, that is like Manning's catchphrase.
Herzog
Deactivated User

245 Posts
2/12
Posted - Mar 11 2012 : 7:51AM
We need more of this stuff.
heythatguy
Member

65 Posts
11/11
Posted - Mar 29 2012 : 7:39AM
guttermouths 34, BTS
'if i was pregnant right now i could rip that kid right out of my stomach'
random as fuck



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