I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours! LOL Actually, I'm learning more about cross-dressing and transgenderism from one of my best friends, who used to be my boyfriend, and I witnessed first hand the transformation. I"m not really sure how it started, we were always looking for new ways & fun things to do for sex - so one time I asked him if he would put on some of my lingerie. And being the open-minded good sport that he was, he agreed....and hasn't gotten out of it since. He said something just came over him, like he's never felt before (and mind you, he's in his thirties, very handsome & masculine). This was a few years ago, and since then our relationship has evolved into a deep friendship, and I've seen him go thru this whole thing of "What the hell is happening to me, I'm turning gay". He comes over all the time & I let him keep some " clothes" here, 'cause nobody else knows, or would ever suspect. Although he has yet to go out in public as a female, I can see that he kind of wants to. He's even got the makeup down, and I gotta say he looks pretty damn good! LOL I've seen the change that comes over him as soon as he "dresses up" & he feels it, too. He says he just feels so much more comfortable in women's clothes, it's like he is sure he was meant to be one, and he feels driven to do this more & more. So, although this is an ongoing learning experience for me as well, (maybe I feel guilty for getting him started, tho' he always thanks me!) I've come to this conclusion: that, just like being gay, this is something in your genes, not something you "choose", although I'm sure some people live their whole lives and never discover this about themselves, but they probably just never felt right in their own skin. From what we've read, no one really knows why this happens, or why many men who like to crossdress are and remain heterosexual, or why the majority of true transgenders continue to have relationships with women. We have sinced learned that a cousin of his, who no one in the family had seen for years, had a complete sex change operation (also male to female) and lives in LA (where else?) as a "lesbian". It does get confusing - but I say, live & let live. My friend says he's too attached to his dick to ever do that (and he's got a damn fine one, if I remember right!) but he is more attracted to men now. So, Luna, what's your story? LOL You mentioned having dated a "pre-op", have you seen him post-op? Maybe you know the answers to some things my friend is curious about. I've never met a hermophradite that I know of - that's pretty rare, isn't it?
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Posted - Dec 1 2000 : 11:16AM
it's interesting that we make a big deal out of men wearing women's clothes, but it's ok for women to wear men's clothes. tomboy is even fashionable these days. i'm sure most women have worn men's underwear - it's pretty damn comfortable.
on another note - in berkeley a professor once said that 1 in every 1000 babies is born a hermaphrodite - if the doctors think the penis will work the baby becomes boy - if not it's chopped off and baby becomes girl. maybe this explains some of the confusion - not only aren't we 100% hetero or homo, but we may not be 100% male or female. then again maybe that's typical berkeley exaggerration.
lun - you should have asked for a picture - that's not as intrusive, right? ;)
Blondie, it sounds as though you too have a life filled with facinating and tantaslizing people. I met a friend at a Solstice get-together, started hanging out w/ her. We flirted quite a bit, but I assumed she was straight and just being playful. We knew each other for about 3 months when she sat me down and said she needed to tell me something. I got that "uh oh" feeling, you know the one you get when someone says, "we need to talk" lol. Anyway, she explained that she was transgenderal (something I knew nothing about).I was surprised to say the least, I mean I had known her, hung out with her for 3 months, I knew she was a womyn as sure as I knew my own name. Well, I was dis-believing and true to my curious georgette way, I had to see it to believe it. Fortunatly my friend had a great sense of humor and after realizing I was not going to run from the room, she dis-robed for me, and well..she sure enough had a penis. She was in the midst of her transformation, she still had a penis but her testicles had been removed. She had breast implants, electrolisis for her hairy spots and was taking hormones. We remained friends (and a little more), and I met other T.G people thru her and I kind of found this counter culture I never knew exhisted. I was of course taken aback at first, but now have come to see it as just another form of searching for who we are. Remember, not all T.V's or T.G's are gay, and not all T.V's want to be T.G's. My suggestion is that if your feeling your friend wants to "go public", do it somewhere your not going to see anyone you know. I know that sounds horrible, but people have strange reactions to things they don't understand, and if your friend decides to pursue that he will face that soon enough, so for now, ananimity is his friend. It is especially important for his confidence and self-acceptance you go somewhere it will be accepted and you will not be a "freak show". My only bit of advice is, be sure. If your friend decides this is what he really wants, live as a womyn for a couple years and be really sure, nothing would be worse that living w/ a mistake like that. I was concerned Blondie, that you had expressed a degree of guilt over initiating him to cross dressing. We all act as conduits each other to reach our paths, as it is not a negetive thing for him to have found an expression of himself, you are due no guilt.
I had a very good friend (or still have, though we have drifted) that is a post-op transsexual. She had answered a personal ad that I had placed a couple of years back. We swapped emails back and forth for a few weeks in which she kept telling me that she probably wasn't my type. We finally graduated to a phone call during which I told her a story of a recent vacation and getting hit on by a possible transsexual or at least a drag queen. A few minutes later she admitted to being a pre-op herself. I was not sure if she was kidding so I took it all in stride but later came to believe her. We eventually met and had a date. We became good friends and developed feelings for each other but we never could get together because of my work schedule. She had the surgery almost a year later and we finally got to go out when I developed some time off from work. We got drunk and had sex and I have to say modern surgery is a wonder. I have always had a fascination about being with a pre-op transsexual but could never tell her because she was adamant about being seen as a woman, not as an oddity. I of course never saw her for anything other than a woman. We got close but the distance we lived from each other as well as the pull of everyday life has caused us to drift apart. I live a few hours from a club that has a drag show in which most of the women are pre-op. I have attended it a couple of times and have found a couple of women that I would like to entertain certain fantasies with but do not have the nerve to strike up conversation. Hopefully I will someday conquer my shyness in not only that perspective but in everyday ventures as well.
Gradenko Welcome to ADVDT! Thanks for sharing! And good luck getting up that nerve!
I guess your desire is really more common that most people realise. My friend said a lot of men are facinated and attracted to the idea of being with a pre-op T.G.
I'm glad your friends transformation was such a success! I guess male to female has a very high success rate, as far as apprearance and "functionality"(feeling). But female to male is a farce.
Did she tell you about how she had to stretch her new pussy out when she first got it? lol!
My only experience has been an internet correspondence on a mailing list. Sorry, no nifty or interesting story there. Wendy is a post-op transgender.
You better be nice, lunacy. I met her through a shooting organization for GLBT people called the Pink Pistols. She shoots better than most guys I know.
"There's a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are hard to find. " ------------------ Who is [ invalid url ]
Luna - I totally agree about going somewhere (like the next state , maybe) where no one would recognize you, but I really don't think he would attempt that anyway, and living full time as a woman is not an option, mainly because of his family (Who is still "appalled" & "scandalized" about the cousin). Also he's divorced and has a daughter. I too have been made aware of the plight of this huge group of people, and I think people would be blown away if they knew just how many there are! It did me. When my friend comes over, the first thing he does ( after putting on, ah, something slinky, is bogart my computer, and checks out all these sights on the internet - let me tell you, there are thousands . Many of their bios just break my heart. Cut off from friends & family, made to feel like a freak, not to mention the ones that endure painful surgeries, thru no fault of their own, just a roll of the DNA dice. I can't imagine the inner turmoil or going thru that & life being hard enough on a good day! LOL And then, there's always the risk of running into someone like JoeBobBriggs, LOL!! Just kidding JoeBob, we love ya, and if I may digress a moment here, I would just like to say you're one of the finest hunk o'man that I've ever laid eyes on! By your voice, I pictured someone pleasantly attractive, but when I caught your movie reviews - WOOOOAAAAHHHOOHAWWW, I was a faithful viewer from that day on, tho' I usually couldn't even name the movie afterwards. What the hell was I talking about before? Hmm... I seem to have lost the thread, I better sign off now, I've probably embarrassed myself enough..............
Lunacy--I was trying to goad her into going into a porno shop and joking about toys. She then told me about the gadgets she had to use for stretching and shaping. She must have been a diligent worker because everything looked normal. The only real difference I could tell was orally. Not really in taste but in texture. Seemed kind of tough I guess. A little artificial perhaps but maybe it will soften up with time. Physically, she is fine. I could tell but I think that it's maybe because I knew before hand. A couple of times when we were out, I would try to see reactions on the faces of people around us and did not notice any strange looks. I think her only problem is emotional. Trying to accept the fact that she may never have the "normal" life. She constantly battles with whether or not to be up front about it or wait until it turns to something serious. Its like, "Do I get hurt now, or later?" It's a lose-lose proposition. She has asked my advice and I really told her that there was not a clear right or wrong answer. As far as the female-to-male, I saw a documentary YEARS ago on HBO and it had a man that had once been a woman. They described the technique used to make the penis and I was scarred for a week. Not as bad as when I watched a video of a male-to-female surgery. I still get a little woozy at the memory of that one.
