Ron Jeremy

Apparently Ron is out of the woods and well on his way to recovery.
With that in mind I'd like to offer...
The Top Fifteen Things Overheard In Ron Jeremy’s Operating Room:
15) It took a while for the ER nurses to check him in as his dick was still outside parking the car.
14) Ron went through three Head Nurses before finding one who had her own kneepads.
13) Before surgery Ron nearly put the doctors to sleep while rambling about his mainstream credits.
12) Security guards were needed to keep out the hordes of elderly women asking Ron to sign their colostomy bags.
11) The catheter was not long enough; they had to splice two of them together.
10) The doctors insisted that Ron de Jeremy rum is not approved by the A.M.A. as an anesthetic.
9) When he awoke from surgery and found himself in a bed, he demanded his day rate.
8) Afterwards, Ron revealed that, when he was unconscious - instead of seeing a bright light - he saw Golden Arches.
7) Prior to choosing a hospital, Ron called around to see what they were serving for dinner.
6) When the nurses tried to examine him, Ron said, “You can see mine if I can see yours.”
5) The Nutritionist was concerned that Ron’s food intake would bankrupt Obamacare.
4) He tried to score some oxycoton using the name Doctor Proctor.
3) “Trust me,” said the Surgeon wielding the large scalpel. “I promise I will only put the tip in.”
2) To prep Ron for surgery, demolition specialists who defoliate the Rain Forest were called in to help remove his body hair.
1) In the operating room the Anesthesiologist put a needle in Ron's arm & asked him to count backwards starting with 10. When Ron got to 1, he ejaculated as though on cue.
FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THIS LIST!
Dirty Bob