I'm trying a new review style with Let Me Jerk You 2. My review time has been cut back drastically over the last year, and needless to say it takes a little time to put together my normal reviews. With that in mind, I'm trying some "Bare Boner Reviews" to simplify things and still put comments out on a lot of the great, average, and "why did I waste two or three hours of my life watching that?" movies out there. I'm trying to still give everybody a lot of the information they still want, as well as one or two screenshots from each release, but from there I'm cutting off almost all of the fat along with a fair amount of meat to leave them pretty simple reviews. Let me know what you think. "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten
I can sympathize with your problem but that review just didn't offer up enough info for me. I like scene breakdowns to tell what happened. They can be short. For me personally I don't care about personal opinions so much as I just want to know what the girl did in the scene. If you or anyone is going for a stripped down review do a scene breakdown and justy let me know the essentials. What is she wearing. Who she's with. Quickly and simply state the positions used. Name the sex acts ie: blowjob, 69, rimming, anal, etc...how long was the scene and a very quick opinion if the scene was good or not. Also, what extras are included. If you or anyone want to give a shorter review you can skip all the non-essential chatter about the stuff the director did before, how big a fan of the performer you are, how many of these movies you reviewed before, if you think this is the best work the performer has done, no need to tell me you usually don't like these movies, no need to tell me how many times you've seen a particular performer before, no need to be creative in describing the scenes, no need to be clever, no opinions on how good or bad the performer looks and no need to be detailed. Scene breakdowns because chances are I'm only interested in one or two performers and don't want to sort through a synopsis to get the info I want. Most of that stuff is opinion I usually don't care about because I don't often agree with it anyway. I just need to know what the girl starts out wearing, who she's with, the positions, the sex acts, how long the scene lasts, where the guy pops and if the reviewer thought it was a good scene. Tell me what extras are on the DVD. I'm not saying everyone should write a review this way but if you're going to make it short just give me basic info on each scene. My opinion, thanks for taking the time to read it.
That's the perfect movie to do a shorter review on - hardly a need for a full scene breakdown. You do the best, most complete reviews (3,125 and counting!) around here as far as I know - I'd say dudes might miss the screen captures for each scene. Probably hard to work 5 pics into a shorter review. At least you aren't calling 'em Quickie Reviews™ like Bono tried too. Fuck!
I like it. I rarely read entire reviews -- I sorta scan them looking for names etc, particularly male performers. As long as you include male performer names (obviously this doesn't apply to this particular title) and any stuff like prolapse or performer discomfort, along with your overview/opinion I'm happy.
There is a list of what extras are included, as I do think they add to the overall DVD, and if I could have identified any of the guys in the movie they would have been given credit. That said, although I'm not going into a full scene breakdown for bonus scenes in these reviews I will say who's in them and where they're from. I'm looking at this review style for more focused or fetishy titles such as oral sex (blowjob, handjob, ass eating, etc.) or solo releases as well as comp releases (as most comps are arranged around either a specific theme, sex act, or performers and I think most people are more concerned with who's in each scene, where they come from, and things like the technical aspects for the release). Looking ahead at some upcoming reviews, I'd be using this on Black Girl Gloryholes 2 or the Cum Bang series, not Deep Anal Drilling 2 or The Marriage Counselor. "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten
I almost left out the screen captures just because that takes a LOT of time. I'd say when I started adding screen caps the time it took to do watch the movie and write the review increased by at least 50%, if not doubling. The amount of great visuals Let Me Jerk You 2 had reminded me of how much some people like screen shots, so I figured I'd split the baby and throw in one great, or perhaps one representative, shot for each movie.I've been actually thinking of doing this for a couple months, but I wanted something fun to call them. "Bare Bones" quickly turned into "Bare Boner" and the rest kind of fell into place. I'm sure there will be a little more tweaking in the future, but for now I'm kinda liking it... "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten
Not bad for a first go, astro. Personally, I'd like a little more detail about camera angles, lighting, color, amount of eye-contact-with-camera (ECWC) from the girls, etc., but I tend to be extremely picky about that kind of thing. Some movies that have great action and a great cast are still not worth dropping the price of the DVD on because they might fall short in one or more of these categories. By the way, I really liked "Let Me Jerk You #2", and it's on my short list of potential purchases. "Let Me Suck You", though fell short of my high expectations - Carlos Dee started using some other camera that can't focus very well, and only focuses on a very narrow range of distances, so anything that moves out of that range goes out of focus (Scott Hancock has been using this thing recently, too, and it drives me crazy). Also, several of the scenes were shot from the side, hence very little or no ECWC, and that is unforgivable in a POV BJ movie. I have no idea why Carlos started messing around with the perfect formula he had in LMJY 1 & 2. Despite all of that, the Rebecca Blue scene is among the hottest POV blowjobs I've ever seen - absolutely spectacular. Now that we know for sure that Rebecca is going to be in Darkko's upcoming "Throat Fucks #3", I know I can get my Rebecca BJ fix there.
I wonder if there is an intern out there that isn't so much into writing reviews but would like to take your review content and insert the screen captures and put it into the format that you like.
No, I want to do the screen caps myself. Sometimes there's just that spark at a certain moment I want to catch and sometimes I want to balance things out somehow. There are some cases where I could use PR photos or take them from online photo galleries, but I also want to take them from the movies myself because that way I know I'm showing an actual video capture rather than something that might have been tinkered with. "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten
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Clams Deactivated User
173 Posts 12/10
Posted - Jan 16 2011 : 5:46PM
I used to rely heavily on reviews, but Evil Angel trailers have just about replaced them. I wouldn't buy anything these days without first watching a clip/trailer.
In contrast to Draxxx, a sequence of scene breakdowns with an itemized bill of sex acts doesn't particularly interest me at all. I am more drawn to an overall summary and evaluation (well, and I also want to know what female performers are cast). Since I almost never watch anything but features, I am concerned less with what sex we get than how it fits into the plot, how effective the plot/acting/movie values are, etc. So, a scene breakdown for me is mostly useless. As such, I would normally not be checking into a movie like youir first Bare Boners sample, but found the review to be satisfactory as an abbreviated form. And as an aside to astroknight, I have always thought your reviews are a very reliable guide. When I am considering buying a movie, if you have reviewed it, I will always read and take seriously your opinions.
astronight--- The new format appears to be just about perfect for gonzo stuff. Sitting through a 5, 4, or a even 3 hour gonzo title is tough enough then you spend whatever time on the actual review. It's a great time saving method and folks actually might read these abbreviated reviews whereas the temptation to skip around always exists with the longer ones. Stick to this format for everything except whatever you deem a major release. T0M---
I liked the review, overall. If I could ask for more it would be 2 things: The scene pairings to know which guy is working with which girl. Regarding screenshots, an early capture near the opening of each scene will show how the girl looks and what she's wearing (important for me) and give a general sense of the setting. No need to search the whole movie for "magic moments" to capture.
I try to write reviews for what I want to see and then tweak it around what else I think others might want to know. When I check out a review because I might be interested in it, there are a few things I always want to know: How long is the movie? Pricing is pretty standard, so if one movie's three hours and the other's two, that's probably going to play into which one I pick up. There's also the occasional movie that doesn't even last an hour and a half, and with how short that is in today's porn movie standards I know I'd want to know that before putting my money down on it. Who directed it? With how similar most movies are, especially gonzo movies, it's as much about style as it is the sex acts. Certain directors seem to be able to bring more out of the performers and certain directors have a style that I know I'll like. Who's in it? Yes, that goes right into who's with who and I'm a big believer in giving credit where it's due. It does bug me that many studios don't give the guys credit, even if it's in a POV movie where you don't get to see them. To use POV as an example, how many people think Dick Nasty can bring the same performance out of a girl that Mark Ashley or Manuel Ferrara can? The only reason I don't have the guys listed in the Let Me Jerk You 2 review is because I have no clue who they are. What extras are there? Because it does add to the overall value of the DVD. Regarding screenshots, I love the opening tease shots, but I know others want to see the girl with a face full of cum or moaning at the heights of ecstasy. Variety is the spice of life. All that said, I think there's going to be quite a few reviews in this style coming up because I want to try to tweak it into something I like, but there's probably going to be one or two in the old wordy style coming up as well... "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten
A POV HJ release doesn't offer much variety to write about each scene, so the summary format seems to work here. Screen captures would be nice for each. Sometimes finding a shot that shows the performers and still meets ADT photo guidelines is a challenge. One photo tells much more than a lengthy written description of the girls size, hair color, clothing etc.
When it comes to new movies, I'm just like you and check out trailers (if I can find them). But what happens with me very often is I keep "discovering" girls who've been in the business for years. When I find out what older movies they've been in and after I've found a few I use reviews to determine which one(s) I'd like the best to purchase.
I agree with you that the type of review style given as an example wouldn't do a feature justice. It's also apparent that some people want/expect different things from a review. It's probably best if Astroknight didn't have a set format and gave each review the amount of coverage/details he sees fit for any given reveiw. Sometimes there's a lot that should be said...sometimes, not so much.
