Reviewers Recommend Anal Slut Search - review by Captain Jack Director: Mark Wood, Francesca Le Starring: Mark Wood, Dakota Marr, Magenta Lexx, Char Gates, Violet Dawn. Read review
In the 90's I worked in a video store in which half our rental product was porn. I'm not sure why we didn't have generic, non-descript covers for the VHS tapes (probably because the owner was too cheap), but we rented them out in larger cases with the porn box cut to make a sleeve. I don't remember what it was called, but there was this one movie that had a photograph of a big puddle of spooge on the front cover, and it rented quite frequently. I can't tell you how many times I reached into the return box and yanked my hand back thinking it was real jizz. Blech!
I wish y'all had not put that picture in my mind-I will start wearing vinyl gloves to handle my rentals. (Would being sprayed with Lysol affect playability?)
First thing I do when I get them is wipe them off with disc cleaner (which is rubbing alcohol) and a micro fiber towell. Mostly what I see is finger smudges--I hope.
When I was 19, I worked at a record store with an adult rental section. It was hilarious to see guys justify why the movies they dropped off were wet even though it was clearly raining outside. One chick had a crush on a frequent customer and placed a nude polaroid of herself with her phone number on it inside the case. The guy never ended up coming back even when his late fees accumulated to $150. The chick was pretty damn hot, so maybe he got shy. Good times at that place.
lmao. That's some funny shit. I don't know if its because its really late nd i'm tired, or because you really know how to tell a story. But that last scentence was funny as hell .
You're not kidding. I'm continually amazed at the amount of punishment people dole out to these things. Between the deep gouges and the always charming lube-enhanced fingerprints, it's a miracle most of these "afflicted" DVDs are still able to play. I couldn't do the same amount of damage if I tried and, believe it or not, I have tried. Curious to see how easy it would be to damage a DVD to the point of unplayability, I took an old disc and proceeded to drop it, rub it repeatedly across different surfaces and scratch it with my fingernails; I even insulted it a few times for good measure. Needless to say, even after this session of abuse the disc still was less scathed then most of it's more unfortunate brethren from the local video store.
As for the more, um... biological forms of mistreatment, that's nothing that the sprinkling of holy water and the repeated repetition of the command "The power of Christ compels you!" can't fix...
I have a few comments also about renting. First customers hide the videos in other sections to be picked up later. Secondly, all the categories get intersorted with others so you end up looking at the entire inventory. Thirdly, there are a lot of damage DVDs - skips, frozen, etc... Finally, when they are in a hurry they get the wrong DVDs and you end up watching something you did not select.
Hi,Even though i haven´t read "all" of it it isn´t completely new news to me. Let´s be honest if you come to think of it you may as well walk around with gloves the whole day. And ... maybe some people even spend some time to think about how hot some of the "Adultgames" really are that we see so much off /ATM, ATOGM, etc)
I rent, and buy used copies, and I've never had too much trouble with DVDs playing. It just seems like wasting money to me to buy when you could rent. Because the more movies that you buy, there is less and less chance that you will ever watch a particular older title again, even if you actually liked it. If you're likely to only watch it once, or at least repeat viewings will be very occasional, you might as well spend only a few dollars instead of buying it. I have bought brand new copies of DVDs from lower budget ameteur companies and had to watch them on my computer, because they skipped too much on my set top player.
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Midtown Deactivated User
299 Posts 7/05
Posted - May 26 2006 : 2:12PM
I'm just glad that DVDs are as big as they are. Otherwise, who knows where these things would be inserted prior to being returned.
Oh don't forget some guys have very tiny dick...there was some picture around showing a microscopic dick... ;P
I agree with gentleman, i never had any probleme renting, and its so less money spend for more porn, i usually only buy vids i really like or whit girls im sure to really like. Or comp since you have lot of porn for very few, sometimes near the price of a rent.
Have any of you put a CD or DVD inside a microwave and cooked it? It's an awesome effect, like a lot of small bolts of lightning going off inside your microwave. Then the disc itself produces a cool design with all these cracks in it like a dry African dessert. You should try it!
Ali missed the obvious on this one. The guy comes in only on weekends rents movies only for length of time that it takes to watch them, and rents more at a discount price when he returns.
The guy isn't doing what she thinks he is. He's copying the tapes so he can watch them throughout the rest of the week.
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Midtown Deactivated User
299 Posts 7/05
Posted - May 27 2006 : 11:49AM
After reading much of the "True Porn Clerk Stories," I just have to say that I have less faith in people than ever before. The fact that a person would return a DVD with spooge on it is disgusting.
dvds can be washed under running water with a drop or two of dishwashing liquid.I tend to wash some of my store bought adult dvds because they have that very strong chemical "adult video smell",mainstream dvds don't really smell that way,I wonder why pornodvds and even the old porno vhs's always have that odor.
I suppose you could leave some of that DNA sample at a crime scene to frame whatever worthless slob left it on the disc - of course I'm not suggesting anything criminal, just a random thought.
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Midtown Deactivated User
299 Posts 7/05
Posted - May 28 2006 : 2:29AM
Yeah, but you better be sure this is a disk that you haven't re-rented. Otherwise, the DNA might be your own!
I hate it when they have porn flicks for sale in a store that has both porn and regular movies but they don't have some kind of system for getting the porn flicks to the counter withoutout flashing the covers to everyone in the store. It makes me very uncomfortable when there's a bunch of kids running around in the store....and I'm sure their parents can't be too pleased wbout it if they happen to catch an eyeful. I might be a porn junkie but I try to respect the people who don't want to be exposed to it as much as possible.
One store I used to frequent had small brown paper bags that you could put the movies in. I guess it would make it easier for someone to steal things if they were up to no good but I just can't believe no parents ever chewed them out over it.
Hi,That´s only because (it seems) all persons under 18(21) are allowed into the store that carries such dvds without a special adults only area plus the fact that parents are so stupid and let their kids walk around in every corner of these video stores. In other countries this is being handled more ... mature
WTF! LMAO! What you talking bout wil...er nevermind. The point is if you buy it directly from lets say gamelink, or adultcduniverse, They send it to you brand new. Its never been opened. You know there is a such thing as buying something new before its been opened right. The only way its opened is if you buy it from some shady place that sells used stuff under the guise of being new. Especially a local porn shop. I find it really hard to believe someone contaminated my disc, when its still in Manufacturer sealed plastic.
Hey, spare a thought for us Brits. We're not even allowed to rent hardcore over here. We can buy R18 (the classification for hardcore in the U.K.) movies only from licensed adult shops. R18 movies cannot legally even sent through the mail from within the U.K., although it's apparently okay to import them from overseas as long as they're for your own personal use. And the contents aren't too extreme. And the customs people don't decide to confiscate your property. No wonder it's only our upper lips that are stiff.
But on the plus side, I suppose the splooge factor is not such a big issue...
Well...the store I was thinking of did have a special secion for adult movies but everybody had to go to the same counter for checkout so if you wanted to buy some of the adult movies, you might have a woman with three kids in line ahead of or behind you. In this case, it isn't really the woman's fault. Because most video stores in this area also carry adult titles, she couldn't solve the problem by simply going to another store. I never actually saw any kids running around in the adult section. Parents generally do a good job of keeping their kids out of there. If you were merely renting some adult flicks, you just had to take the tags to checkout. It was only a problem if you wanted to buy something...in which case, you took the whole package out for all to see.
That was several years ago. I was just in that same store the other day for the first time in a while and it's still the same. I like the store. They have a great selection, the other adult customers take care of the movies they rent and the clerks don't give you strange looks when you rent porn. I just wonder why they don't fix that little problem.
I also used to work at a video store that rented porn (now I just work at a porn store, lol). Anyways, the old store used to have curtains blocking the doorway to the adult room. My manager took them down one day to clean them and discovered that they were covered in cum stains. I then horrifically thought off all the times that I had an armload of returns to put back and went head first through the curtains. . Not cool. At the first porn store I worked at, we had one guy who would constantly bring back sticky movies. He had gotten some warnings and then one day the manager was working when he brought back a sticky one. She stopped him, handed him the case, the windex and a paper towel and told him to clean it up. Needless to say that customer didn't come back for awhile. I started reading that porn store clerk link. Bookmarked it for further reading pleasure.
anyone ever think of just washing the plastic casing off? I've done that(with VHS) over the years just out of general principle, but only when I visually see the box 'besoiled' or something. Dont want anyone else's diseases. If I dont wash the cover I try to just keep the covers in the little plastic carry home bag the store gives you when you rent. Haven't run into too much problem with DVD casings yet! True though, DVDs are susceptible to the slightest little knick, even a dust streak.
if you think about it its pretty logical. Watch a movie, jerkoff, cum, then go to take the tape or dvd out of the machine. How many out there are washing their hands before removing the tap/dvd from the player????????
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Midtown Deactivated User
299 Posts 7/05
Posted - May 31 2006 : 10:03PM
True story - I once saw a guy enter a hotel restroom, wash his hands, then use the urinal, then leave the restroom without washing his hands again. Apparently, not all people are hard wired in the common sense/courtesy departments. The same goes for washing your hands before removing the dvd from the player. Don't think about it - just do it!
Gia Jordon wrote: "When I was 19, I worked at a record store with an adult rental section. It was hilarious to see guys justify why the movies they dropped off were wet even though it was clearly raining outside. One chick had a crush on a frequent customer and placed a nude polaroid of herself with her phone number on it inside the case. The guy never ended up coming back even when his late fees accumulated to $150. The chick was pretty damn hot, so maybe he got shy. Good times at that place."
Gia, did you ever have guys like this? Alyson Hannigan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame told of when she worked at a video store in her late teens. She said that there was a guy who would come in and rent the max (6) in the morning, return them a few hrs later, rent 6 more and return those before closing and rent 6 more. Wonder the guy had anything left to play with huh?
that's why I never buy from stores that have jackoff booths in the back,you know afterwards those jackasses are browsing through the stuff with their jizzed hands.
Anal Slut Search - review by Captain Jack
Posted - May 26 2006 : 12:25AM
/ATM, ATOGM, etc)
