There was a time BG (Before Gonzo) when the adult film industry was cranking out quite a few "spoofs" on various popular Hollywood films--so What Happened?" The wide acceptance for the recent "barrage" of TV porn sitcom parodies should convince at least a few porn directors that there would be an even bigger fan base for recreating some of the more "steamy" Hollywood films of years gone by. In fact, I always thought that the "ultimate" viewing high would be to see explicit sex versions of films such as as "Body Heat," "Fatal Attraction," "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof," "Postman Always Rings Twice," "Bad and the Beautiful," "Indecent Proposal," and so many others, featuring beautiful and deadly femme fatales. Then, for the MILFers, a sexy theme Hollywood hit upon long before slow-witted porn producers and directors, "Class Act," "Tadpole," and "PS" would be very well suited for porn adaptation. Note, that I purposefully left out that classic "The Graduate," because Cash Markman actually had the foresight to turn out a "great" version of it, featuring Ona Zee in the role of Ann Bancroft--One HELL of a good movie, filled with hot sex, a closely followed story line and very good acting from both Zee and Dick Smothers Jr., playing the Dennis Hoffman role. The porn version, put out by VCA Pictures, should have garnered all kinds of awards and hauled in "big bucks," but unfortunately for its sake, came out BEFORE the always slow to "catch on" porn producers discovered MILFS. So now, and once again "clueless PP's," the time is "ripe" for a big rush of main stream feature film parodies, and I've even offered some suggestions for you. As for the women to recreate the HOT, in more ways than one, character roles of Sharon Stone, Lana Turner, Elizabeth Taylor, Demi Moore, Glenn Close, Bebe Newwirth and Laura Linney, you can't go wrong with such talented thespian beauties as jessica drake, (she prefers lower case, but will always be CAPITAL with me), Julia Ann, Lisa Ann, and Savanah Samson. But why am I writing this anyway?, knowing that you guys don't EVER incorporate cigarette smoking female characters in your productions, feature films or gonzo, and in all but one of the classic movies I've listed above, sexy cigarette smoking played an essential part in the seduction scenarios---a screen filming technique yet to be discovered by today's "slow-triggered" adult film producers, writers and directors----Go Figure!!
Sorry, I forgot to mention the title of Cash Markman's "masterpiece" parody on "The Graduate." It was "Bad Influence," and I can guarantee youall if you've ever seen the main stream film, VCA'steam stream spoof (if you can still find it) will be worth your time. Also, in calling for slow-witted porn producers to "get with it," I noted that I inadvertently included adult film directors. Realizing that directors can "only" do what their producers let them, the blame for the slow to "get it" references must lie primarily with those who hold the purse strings, mainly the vast majority of timid, very conservative porn producers always reluctant to try something a bit "out there," so to speak. Finally, I can't believe in offering some of my suggestions for "steamy" Hollywood films to be remade into adult film formats, I left out "anything" starring sexy cigarette smoking (in ALL her films) Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart, who created some of the "hottest" main stream film scenes "ever." As for their steam stream counterparts (ARE YOU LISTENING WICKED PICTURES?), the unbelievably SMOKING hot, "sexpian" skilled jessica drake could pair up with Randy Spears as the "Bogey" character, and you've got a money making AVN awards winner every time!!! btw, "sexpian" is my coined word for that rare porn beauty whose acting skills are just as strong as her sexual dynamics---very apropos, don't you think??
danl- I am sure that you will see some directors and producers doing parodies of mainstream movies. Our upcoming movie Flight Attendants movies pays some homage to Airplane so if you liked that movie check ours out at the end of September. As for the cigarette smoking, there have been numerous gonzo series that used that as a focal point and they never really did all that well but I see your point in the seduction dance which could be a big turn on to many. Randy Spears would be a great choice as the HB character as he is damn good in just about everything he does including Flight Attendants. That fucker is in great shape too! I had to look at him when he was banging Shyla Stylez in the cockpit and he told me it kills him to work out so much but he keeps it up to stay ripped. BTW- Cat on a Hot Tin Roof would be a great movie to make but I am not sure if the fan base would support the great Tennessee Williams adaptation. I can just see Brick banging the hell out of Maggie and then having a few more drinks and setting his sights on a double BJ from the twins. Holy shit, I'm just kidding on the twins!
A lot of times I'm guessing it comes down to the generally low budgets they have to work with. I also think it comes down to trying to find the right lead actors for them. Very few performers can really carry a complex or interesting story IMO. I don't think there are a lot of modern Ona Zee's out there. And I don't think they usually get good, much less great reviews either. The "Bad Influence" movie you praised was ripped pretty good by reviewer Astroknight on this very site. I don't always agree with him, but he seems about as fair as a reviewer can get. And if a guy like him hates, I seriously doubt most other reviewers will. Generally reviewers don't tend to like them though, and I don't get the feeling fans do either. I don't have much a problem with them myself, but would probably prefer something at least trying to be different or original. A tall task in mainstream films, let alone porn.
Jeff: Appreciate your remarks, but once again they show the total lack of understanding the vast majority of those involved with porn have re our huge, and thanx to anti-societal pressures, ever-growing smoking fetish "smokerhood." You mentioned how poorly some porn operations did with smoking fetish material, and there are two big reasons for that--namely a COMPLETE misunderstanding of our fetish and second, the use of models who it was comically obvious were not smokers in their personal life==ARE you reading this, Kick Ass Pictures, with your failed "Smokin" series? You see Jeff and any other porn directors or producers reading this---which is probably almost nil--so many people think that some big pre-planned set-up, complete with fetish clothing and an elaborate stage background is required to satisfy our desire, and NOTHING could be farther from the truth. Granted, seeing a gorgeous, full-breasted woman, dressed in flashy fetish gear and with a looong all-white cigarette between her luscious lips, can be a BIG turn-on. But, seeing that same beautiful, well-built lady, wearing "anything" or "nothing" can be just as much of a sexual "kick" for us, as long as she is SMOKING a CIGARETTE, and not a cigar or with a loooong holder, both of which are more comical than sexy to the majority of our "smokerhood" brotherhood. For its the combination of that gorgeous, stacked woman and the looong all-white cigarette, which brings visions of "blow jobs in our heads," which I have said so very often beats the HELL out of sugar plums, that is the KEY to our fetish, and its phallic symbolism---the very HEART of the fetish. Purists, and those completely ignorant of the sexuality of cigarette smoking attractive women, will quickly point out that the cigarette is much, much smaller than the male penis, both in length and girth (or at least, it should be) but since we fetishist are "totally enamored" with the beauty of the female mouth, especially those luscious inviting lips, the cigarette has "always" been a phallic symbol to us. I know I don't have to ask this Jeff, because I already know the answer, but did you happen to film any scenes of the absolutely sensational Shyla Stlyz, who is one terrific sexy smoker btw, smoking in your "Airplane" spoof? NO, I didn't think so. Such is our plight, and once again what could be a real "turn on" for us--seeing a beautiful, well-built woman smoking a cigarette in a natural setting situation, such as in bts segments and interviews is LOST! Anyway, it is somewhat encouraging that you do recognize that a good-looking, well-built WOMAN (not some teen---prom porn, I call it--) smoking a cigarette is HOT, in more ways than one>>>>>>>>So Perhaps, next time you'll remember?????
Danl, I read your post and I hear you and respect your desire to see smoking and a woman's lips wrapped around a cigarette. I guess the best answer I have as to maybe one reason why I haven't shot it is because I really don't understand it so i wouldn't want to create a mockery of the subject by accident which would most likey happen in the eyes of purists. It is just the same reason I don't do certain spoofs of TV shows if I wasn't a fan of the original show. I have to have a personal passion for the subject otherwise I won't do it even if I know it would make money. I remember seeing an old movie and it had an entire scene where a woman lit up and I have to admit it was quite erotic so maybe I will do it in the future if I feel I can do it justice. I am so ignorant of some subjects when I am focused on making a movie that I didn't even realize Shyla smoked!!! Have a great holiday weekend.
I think part of the problem is that most people now don't smoke. If smoking scenes became popular, Shyla Stylez and Calli Cox would have to do a lot of movies. I think Julia Ann used to smoke, so maybe count her in as well. That is three people you would see over and over in this genre. I am sure there are one or two more that I don't know of, but that is still a problem if this genre were to become popular.
I'd love to see some movie parodies as well, but I think that tv shows seem to work better from what I've seen. If they did parodies of something like... comic book movies, like Spiderman or Fantastic Four... then I'd be all over it.
Years ago I read in Entertainment Weekly that Hollywood studios either started filing lawsuits or threatened to file suit over porn parodies so the porn studios quit making them. Legally I don't think these suits would've had much merit, but I imagine the porn producers just didn't want the hassle. Ironically, Hollywood doesn't seemed too concerned about the constant rip-offs of mainstream movies that appear seemingly within days of a movie's release on video store shelves. A friend of mine used to work at a video store and I used to irritate him by asking for porn titles that sounded like mainstream movies. "Excuse me sir, do you have Forrest Hump? Or how about The League of Extraordinary Genitalia?"
Don't forget Barbara Bain as "Cinnamon" in the original Mission: Impossible shows. She took the act of cigarette seduction to such a high art that she made a fetishist out of this young, impressionable adolescent. Take note directors of how a woman can signal her desire for a man by luring him to light her cigarette and then looking in his eyes as she sucks on it. Pretty elementary Watson.
Saratoga: It looks like we're outnumbered on this forum, for as I've "ranted" many times, there are just too many men here at ADT weaned since "diaperhood" that smoking a cigarette is akin to an act of terrorism---yet, as I've also written, for every one of "them" there is one of we smoke fetishist (google "smoking fetish") who will always view a gorgeous, shapely woman smoking a cigarette in an adult film as a "vibrant vision of intense sexuality." You mentioned the "hot" flashes a great many men feel looking into an attractive woman's eyes as they light her cigarette and I would go even farther to say that more sexual encounters between men and women have begun over those five little words "Do you have a light," than all the trite pick-up lines combined--yet, strangely I have YET to see this simple "pick-up" line recreated in an adult film, and I've seen more than my share over the years. As you clearly indicated in your post, ALL attractive women out there know the sexual magnetism they project by their smoking and how a great many "moths are drawn into the flame," so to speak. Yet, sadly, for our huge and ever-growing (thanx to societal taboos) "smokerhood," the vast majority of today's porn directors and producers cling to "political correctness," and would much rather stick a lollipop than a cigarette (God Forbid!!) between the lips of their female performers. This always seems odd to me because I never considered the adult film industry to be the least bit interested in social conformity, but rather the "rebel" of the film-making community, as evidenced by its continual bucking of conventional social mores. What is ESPECIALLY frustrating to me though is that while sexy women are seen smoking cigarettes in less than 3% of all the porn films made today, the men "light-up" constantly--which is about as sexually exciting to me as cutting my toenails.
Alas, this is probably because today's breed of female just wears a color-coded bracelet to indicate they're up for a good fuck. Long live the 20th century!
