What's the deal with suitcase pimps?

Author	Post
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 3 2008 : 12:32AM I stumbled across this article and wondered if anyone could provide more insight: http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0534,taormino,67070,24.html What motivates these guys? Why do they catch so much flack? Do most of them end up being dumped by their pornstar girlfriends/wives? Inquiring minds want to know. [Link]
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 2:20AM Someone must have something to contribute to a subject that's barely been addressed. [Link]
sam46 Deactivated User 564 Posts 1/07	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 4:06AM Originated with a bunch of Zen Buddhists and Nihilism. See the Anarchy Films documentary. Barbie Doll had dozens. [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 6:23PM suitcase pimp BTW in upper right hand corner of this page is a search button. It works pretty good..Try it. Edited by - Clam Digger on 6/4/2008 6:23:59 PM [Link]
mindee Member If you don't break the rules, you'll never have any fun! 717 Posts 10/06	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 6:29PM Clam Digger wrote: suitcase pimp BTW in upper right hand corner of this page is a search button. It works pretty good..Try it. Edited by - Clam Digger on 6/4/2008 6:23:59 PM Click to expand Oh Digger...don't be so grumpy! ;-) [Link]

CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 7:18PM Clam Digger wrote: suitcase pimp BTW in upper right hand corner of this page is a search button. It works pretty good..Try it. Edited by - Clam Digger on 6/4/2008 6:23:59 PM Click to expand That's not much of a thread. And, the link Quasar provided is no longer working. [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 7:34PM mindee wrote: Clam Digger wrote: suitcase pimp BTW in upper right hand corner of this page is a search button. It works pretty good..Try it. Edited by - Clam Digger on 6/4/2008 6:23:59 PM Click to expand Oh Digger...don't be so grumpy! ;-) Click to expand Excuse me I don't get grumpy - I get craby.....baby [Link]
BigBoy Senior Member 3359 Posts 1/03	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 7:49PM Oh Digger...don't be so grumpy! ;-) Excuse me I don't get grumpy - I get craby.....baby Click to expand Digger is craby cause lil Hillary won't be on a ballot come November. I, on the other hand, kinda like it! [Link]
Planetu2 Member 61 Posts 7/07	Posted - Jun 4 2008 : 8:39PM Who are some of these Suitcase Pimps? [Link]
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 12:14AM Planetu2 wrote: Who are some of these Suitcase Pimps? Click to expand I wasn't asking for names or anything like that - just if anyone had interesting anecdotes that might shed light on the mindset of a suitcase pimp. [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 1:00AM BigBoy wrote: Oh Digger...don't be so grumpy! ;-) Excuse me I don't get grumpy - I get craby.....baby Click to expand Digger is craby cause lil Hillary won't be on a ballot come November. I, on the other hand, kinda like it! Click to expand You are behind the times. [Link]
Mike Quasar Zero Tolerance Reluctant pornographer 1765 Posts 7/01	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 2:20AM Many years ago I used to have a website that some people thought was funny. I did an in-depth article about the whore magnet known as the suitcase pimp. I reprint it here today with permission from the author.... the author was me but I wanted this to sound important. This is very long and I'll forgive you if you give up half way through but at least scroll down to the bottom for the Suitcase pimp quiz. ANALYSIS OF A SUITCASE PIMP PART ONE The Pimp. An enigmatic and indelible character in Pop culture history. Traditionally the "pimp" character was a mean son of a bitch who at the very least had a sense of style. A purple crushed velvet derby, a carnation, some bad ass jewelry and a pair of Foster Grants wide enough to project a motion picture upon. Fast foward a few decades and let us now examine the classless bottom feeding parasite that has replaced the Superfly Mac Daddys of yore; the Suitcase Pimp. I'm not sure where the term for this unemployable, wardrobe-from-a-yard sale, human virus originated but if one examines it closely it is somewhat misleading. To the uninformed it may seem as though this person lingers in the shadows waiting to proposition would-be customers with his impressive luggage; "Hey Dude, I got me a Samsonite rollaway with a matching carry-on that'll rock your world". In reality, this waste of opposable thumbs negotiates the price for his wife or signifigant other to be sodomized by a perfect stranger in an adult movie. If he is successful in the procurement of employment for his human show pony, he can then be found carrying her "suitcase" from the car (usually a camaro well into it's second decade) to the movie set. This is how the term "suitcase pimp" came into being. Once the sex scene is in progress you can usually find him off to the side somewhere lasciviously drooling and flashing the occasional Sven Gali glance at his meal ticket. Afterward he will congratulate her for a job well done as well as the gentleman who just unloaded a torrent of DNA on to her face, usually as he's wiping it off for her. At this point he will pack up her suitcase and then whisk her away to another set where the ritual plays out again. Later that evening when the suitcase pimp and his prize pig retire for the evening to a dank motel room on Sepulveda Boulevard, he will once again tell her what a great job she has done and how much he loves her. He will then spontaneously whip out his less-than-adequate member and expect this person who hours earlier was covered in strange man froth to give him a blowjob. She will consent of course because the last time this happened and she told him she was too tired he began calling her a stupid whore and threatened to tell her parents what she was doing with her life. In the morning however, all will be forgotten and the two of them will drive to the nearest check cashing place where the suitcase pimp's human slot machine will pay off. In honor of the suitcase pimp I have composed a little ditty that is sung to the tune of "To all the girls I've loved before" I hope you enjoy it. To all the girls I've pimped before, For all the times I've slapped those whores. I took their self esteem, so I could steal their green and yet they seem to love me more. To all the girls who've paid my bills. For all the broads I've hooked on pills. They took it in the ass, so I could buy some grass I smoke it in my coupe deville. To all the girls who bought me things So many gifts vagina brings. They took it in the shorts to pay my child support My ex-wife thinks that I'm a King. To that special girl I'm pimping now You'll pay my rent this month somehow You'll be a nervous wreck but I'll still spend your check I want my money bitch, Right Now!! ANALYSIS OF A SUITCASE PIMP PART 2 Yesterday we indentified the unholy traits of the suitcase pimp. Today we will try to enter the Suitcase Pimp mind. This is only one example and it is quite general. There are varied circumstances surrounding the history of each suitcase pimp. Starting in early childhood the would-be suitcase pimp is taught to hate women and life in general. This hatred is fostered by all of the familiar icons associated with trailer park residency; A father whose wardrobe in it's entirety consists of 3 white muscle shirts. A chainsmoking mother addicted to game shows and a refrigerator bereft of nutritional elements but heavy laden with Lucky lager. The future suitcase pimp is often the child at school who chastises the children of functional families and extorts their lunch money from them. However, he may also just as often be the snaggle toothed, acne scarred outcast whom the cool kids pelt with mud and handfuls of loose change. At any rate, nobody likes him. As the suitcase pimp moves into adolescence he discovers that due to his disheveled, borderline mongoloid appearance that he cannot achieve socially. His first sexual experience is often with a non-consenting partner being held down by other future suitcase pimps. At some point in his mid-teens he meets someone who is the female offspring of an equally dysfunctional background who despite her ugly environment may actually be somewhat attractive. Having been molested by her creepy Uncle and several of her cousins she seeks stability in this most unstable individual and they fall in love. Eventually the two of them move away and shack up together in a single apartment subsidized by HUD. Having no skills whatsoever and no desire to attain any, the future suitcase pimp drinks beer and watches game shows all day long. By this time his girl has found gainful employment at the local topless bar and the future suitcase pimp discovers a sense of pride that he has never felt his whole life; Local drunken factory workers ogle his girlfriend and masturbate to memories of her pole sliding antics when they get home. As if that isn't enough to be proud of, each and every night his girl brings home actual MONEY. The seed has been planted. The future suitcase pimp sees opportunity on the horizon. A glorious future where he can own all the prizes he has seen over the years on Wheel of Fortune. One fateful night, after wrestling is over, he switches channels and begins watching some low rent pay-per view pornographic cable channel. It is then that the future becomes the present. "Honey, you're prettier than all these girls. We could make a lot of money being in the movies". This, depsite the fact that her teeth are discolored and she has one oblong breast and he has an emaciated body covered with homemade tattoos. The decision is made and the next thing you know ol' Jeds a suitcase pimp. They pack up their meager possesions and head for the bright lights of North Hollywood. Soon they are seated on the sofa in the office of World Modelling. Polaroids are taken and their frightening results are emailed to every company in the industry. They fill out their information cards where they reveal that will only work with each other. After a brief counselling session by Jim South where he explains that their employment will be limited by this arrangement, the suitcase pimp holds his ground. "Nobody's banging my girl but me" After several weeks expire and no offers of employment come in, the suitcase pimp begins once again dreaming of the prizes he has seen on Wheel Of Fortune and he changes his mind. After some initial misgivings by his future meal ticket she agrees with his decision. The general consensus among producers is that the girl is somewhat attractive but is in dire need of breast augmentation and an oral hygenist. In an industry always hungry for new faces however, the calls start coming in. Soon the suitcase pimp is sitting on easy street. The money is rolling in and he takes an active part in her career, eventually labeling himself as her manager. As her colon is stretched into the shape of a trapazoid on a daily basis, he marvels at how easy this new life is. He is the envy of subdivision 6 at the Nature's Fury trailer park on rural route 9 where his father is still drinking and his mother is still bidding on the Showcase Showdown from her futon. Eventually this new life takes a dark turn when he begins to see that the love of his life is actually ENJOYING sex with other men. He hadn't bargained for this. His fragile pride is injured. Soon afterward, the beatings begin. This scenario has two potential endings. Producers discover that their phone number is no longer in service and neither of them are heard from again OR the girl wises up, finds support amongst her peers and sends the suitcase pimp packing. In the former scenario we can assume that the girl went back to live with her parents and the suitcase pimp without a vagina at his disposal to generate income has been arrested somewhere for petty theft or drug trafficking. In the latter scenario the suitcase pimp will retreat back to the Nature's Fury trailer park and resurface at World Modelling several months later with his new "girlfriend". Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. SUITCASE PIMP TEST The following set of guidelines were designed by specialists from the National Institute of Parasites and Human barnacles. These are only general guidelines and are based on the "Jeff Foxworthy/Redneck" criteria. 1. If your wife/signifigant other frequently comes home with an inflamed left occular cavity and/or eyelashes pasted shut by semen that isn't yours, you might be a suitcase pimp. 2. If you refer to "payday" as the day you're wife/signifigant other performs an anal or double penetration scene, you might be a suitcase pimp. 3. If you boast to all your friends that your wife/signifigant other is a great fuck and provide a list of references, you might be a suitcase pimp. 4. If you refer to the days of your wife/signifigant other's menstrual cycle as a "temporary downturn in revenue", you might be a suitcase pimp. And finally.... 5. If your wife/signifigant other has sex with someone other than you without a camera present and you consider it cheating, you might be a suitcase pimp. Note from the author At the time that this was written , there wasn't a porn agent loitering in front of every Home Depot. There was only Jim South at World Modeling. [Link]
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 2:51AM Can I borrow from this for my term paper? [Link]
BigBoy Senior Member 3359 Posts 1/03	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 2:55AM cut & paste baby [Link]
christianx Senior Member 1883 Posts 9/04	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 3:58AM Not only did I do a scene with a girl who brought her suitcase pimp to set, but I snapped a rare photo of him in action! Check it out http://cwians.typepad.com/christian_sings_the_blues/2008/01/northstar-assoc.html [Link]

CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 5:25AM christianx wrote: Not only did I do a scene with a girl who brought her suitcase pimp to set, but I snapped a rare photo of him in action! Check it out http://cwians.typepad.com/christian_sings_the_blues/2008/01/northstar-assoc.html Click to expand Do you think it's possible that some women would NOT work in adult films without their male partner there to watch over them? Perhaps they might not feel safe or might somehow think of not including him as "cheating?" Finally, do you view these as legitimate concerns for her to hold? [Link]
sam46 Deactivated User 564 Posts 1/07	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 5:49AM A stange glimpse, this. After a few minor bloopers, Teri rode that pony to a rip-roaring orgasm, inspiring her husband to step out of the audience and into the Weimar World. Murrill Maglio, known to Jenna Jameson fans as Teri’s “suitcase pimp,” deftly proceeded to remove his pants, announcing to one and all that it was their 14th wedding anniversary, whereupon he made passionate vigorous love to this Weimar Girl, his wife. Whether Murrill and Teri were pumped by the idea of that amphetamine-laden Berliner Luft to which Berliners attributed their high sex drives, or the appreciative Speakeasy crowd, they rocked. Professor Mel was impressed. "Instead of just talking about sex,” he observed professorially, “you put it in an environment where we can be entertained by it, learn from it and be aroused.” [Link]
Asmodeus Lord of Lust az-mo-day-us 6338 Posts 10/01	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 5:50AM Edited by - Asmodeus on 6/5/2008 9:36:46 PM [Link]
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 5 2008 : 9:14PM Somewhat off the subject...which pornstars have been filmed by their significant others? I know that Jenna Haze has performed with Jules Jordan filming/directing. [Link]
moejuggs Member 49 Posts 1/08	Posted - Jun 6 2008 : 12:57AM christianx wrote: Not only did I do a scene with a girl who brought her suitcase pimp to set, but I snapped a rare photo of him in action! Check it out http://cwians.typepad.com/christian_sings_the_blues/2008/01/northstar-assoc.html Click to expand wow from the look of that guy all i have to say is i'm sure he has uttered the words "get in the van i have candy" more that once.... [Link]
CrouchingBear Deactivated User 299 Posts 5/08	Posted - Jun 7 2008 : 1:38PM moejuggs wrote: christianx wrote: Not only did I do a scene with a girl who brought her suitcase pimp to set, but I snapped a rare photo of him in action! Check it out http://cwians.typepad.com/christian_sings_the_blues/2008/01/northstar-assoc.html Click to expand wow from the look of that guy all i have to say is i'm sure he has uttered the words "get in the van i have candy" more that once.... Click to expand Is he the wolf or is he ready to throw his wife to the wolves? [Link]

Many years ago I used to have a website that some people thought was funny. I did an in-depth article about the whore magnet known as the suitcase pimp. I reprint it here today with permission from the author.... the author was me but I wanted this to sound important. This is very long and I'll forgive you if you give up half way through but at least scroll down to the bottom for the Suitcase pimp quiz.
ANALYSIS OF A SUITCASE PIMP PART ONE
The Pimp. An enigmatic and indelible character in Pop culture history. Traditionally the "pimp" character was a mean son of a bitch who at the very least had a sense of style. A purple crushed velvet derby, a carnation, some bad ass jewelry and a pair of Foster Grants wide enough to project a motion picture upon. Fast foward a few decades and let us now examine the classless bottom feeding parasite that has replaced the Superfly Mac Daddys of yore; the Suitcase Pimp. I'm not sure where the term for this unemployable, wardrobe-from-a-yard sale, human virus originated but if one examines it closely it is somewhat misleading. To the uninformed it may seem as though this person lingers in the shadows waiting to proposition would-be customers with his impressive luggage; "Hey Dude, I got me a Samsonite rollaway with a matching carry-on that'll rock your world". In reality, this waste of opposable thumbs negotiates the price for his wife or signifigant other to be sodomized by a perfect stranger in an adult movie. If he is successful in the procurement of employment for his human show pony, he can then be found carrying her "suitcase" from the car (usually a camaro well into it's second decade) to the movie set. This is how the term "suitcase pimp" came into being. Once the sex scene is in progress you can usually find him off to the side somewhere lasciviously drooling and flashing the occasional Sven Gali glance at his meal ticket. Afterward he will congratulate her for a job well done as well as the gentleman who just unloaded a torrent of DNA on to her face, usually as he's wiping it off for her. At this point he will pack up her suitcase and then whisk her away to another set where the ritual plays out again. Later that evening when the suitcase pimp and his prize pig retire for the evening to a dank motel room on Sepulveda Boulevard, he will once again tell her what a great job she has done and how much he loves her. He will then spontaneously whip out his less-than-adequate member and expect this person who hours earlier was covered in strange man froth to give him a blowjob. She will consent of course because the last time this happened and she told him she was too tired he began calling her a stupid whore and threatened to tell her parents what she was doing with her life. In the morning however, all will be forgotten and the two of them will drive to the nearest check cashing place where the suitcase pimp's human slot machine will pay off.
In honor of the suitcase pimp I have composed a little ditty that is sung to the tune of "To all the girls I've loved before" I hope you enjoy it.
To all the girls I've pimped before,
For all the times I've slapped those whores.
I took their self esteem, so I could steal their green
and yet they seem to love me more.
To all the girls who've paid my bills.
For all the broads I've hooked on pills.
They took it in the ass, so I could buy some grass
I smoke it in my coupe deville.
To all the girls who bought me things
So many gifts vagina brings.
They took it in the shorts to pay my child support
My ex-wife thinks that I'm a King.
To that special girl I'm pimping now
You'll pay my rent this month somehow
You'll be a nervous wreck but I'll still spend your check
I want my money bitch, Right Now!!
ANALYSIS OF A SUITCASE PIMP PART 2
Yesterday we indentified the unholy traits of the suitcase pimp. Today we will try to enter the Suitcase Pimp mind. This is only one example and it is quite general. There are varied circumstances surrounding the history of each suitcase pimp.
Starting in early childhood the would-be suitcase pimp is taught to hate women and life in general. This hatred is fostered by all of the familiar icons associated with trailer park residency; A father whose wardrobe in it's entirety consists of 3 white muscle shirts. A chainsmoking mother addicted to game shows and a refrigerator bereft of nutritional elements but heavy laden with Lucky lager. The future suitcase pimp is often the child at school who chastises the children of functional families and extorts their lunch money from them. However, he may also just as often be the snaggle toothed, acne scarred outcast whom the cool kids pelt with mud and handfuls of loose change. At any rate, nobody likes him.
As the suitcase pimp moves into adolescence he discovers that due to his disheveled, borderline mongoloid appearance that he cannot achieve socially. His first sexual experience is often with a non-consenting partner being held down by other future suitcase pimps. At some point in his mid-teens he meets someone who is the female offspring of an equally dysfunctional background who despite her ugly environment may actually be somewhat attractive. Having been molested by her creepy Uncle and several of her cousins she seeks stability in this most unstable individual and they fall in love. Eventually the two of them move away and shack up together in a single apartment subsidized by HUD. Having no skills whatsoever and no desire to attain any, the future suitcase pimp drinks beer and watches game shows all day long. By this time his girl has found gainful employment at the local topless bar and the future suitcase pimp discovers a sense of pride that he has never felt his whole life; Local drunken factory workers ogle his girlfriend and masturbate to memories of her pole sliding antics when they get home. As if that isn't enough to be proud of, each and every night his girl brings home actual MONEY. The seed has been planted. The future suitcase pimp sees opportunity on the horizon. A glorious future where he can own all the prizes he has seen over the years on Wheel of Fortune. One fateful night, after wrestling is over, he switches channels and begins watching some low rent pay-per view pornographic cable channel. It is then that the future becomes the present. "Honey, you're prettier than all these girls. We could make a lot of money being in the movies". This, depsite the fact that her teeth are discolored and she has one oblong breast and he has an emaciated body covered with homemade tattoos. The decision is made and the next thing you know ol' Jeds a suitcase pimp. They pack up their meager possesions and head for the bright lights of North Hollywood. Soon they are seated on the sofa in the office of World Modelling. Polaroids are taken and their frightening results are emailed to every company in the industry. They fill out their information cards where they reveal that will only work with each other. After a brief counselling session by Jim South where he explains that their employment will be limited by this arrangement, the suitcase pimp holds his ground. "Nobody's banging my girl but me" After several weeks expire and no offers of employment come in, the suitcase pimp begins once again dreaming of the prizes he has seen on Wheel Of Fortune and he changes his mind. After some initial misgivings by his future meal ticket she agrees with his decision. The general consensus among producers is that the girl is somewhat attractive but is in dire need of breast augmentation and an oral hygenist. In an industry always hungry for new faces however, the calls start coming in. Soon the suitcase pimp is sitting on easy street. The money is rolling in and he takes an active part in her career, eventually labeling himself as her manager. As her colon is stretched into the shape of a trapazoid on a daily basis, he marvels at how easy this new life is. He is the envy of subdivision 6 at the Nature's Fury trailer park on rural route 9 where his father is still drinking and his mother is still bidding on the Showcase Showdown from her futon. Eventually this new life takes a dark turn when he begins to see that the love of his life is actually ENJOYING sex with other men. He hadn't bargained for this. His fragile pride is injured. Soon afterward, the beatings begin. This scenario has two potential endings. Producers discover that their phone number is no longer in service and neither of them are heard from again OR the girl wises up, finds support amongst her peers and sends the suitcase pimp packing. In the former scenario we can assume that the girl went back to live with her parents and the suitcase pimp without a vagina at his disposal to generate income has been arrested somewhere for petty theft or drug trafficking. In the latter scenario the suitcase pimp will retreat back to the Nature's Fury trailer park and resurface at World Modelling several months later with his new "girlfriend". Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
SUITCASE PIMP TEST The following set of guidelines were designed by specialists from the National Institute of Parasites and Human barnacles. These are only general guidelines and are based on the "Jeff Foxworthy/Redneck" criteria.
1. If your wife/signifigant other frequently comes home with an inflamed left occular cavity and/or eyelashes pasted shut by semen that isn't yours, you might be a suitcase pimp.
2. If you refer to "payday" as the day you're wife/signifigant other performs an anal or double penetration scene, you might be a suitcase pimp.
3. If you boast to all your friends that your wife/signifigant other is a great fuck and provide a list of references, you might be a suitcase pimp.
4. If you refer to the days of your wife/signifigant other's menstrual cycle as a "temporary downturn in revenue", you might be a suitcase pimp.
And finally....
5. If your wife/signifigant other has sex with someone other than you without a camera present and you consider it cheating, you might be a suitcase pimp.
*Note from the author* At the time that this was written , there wasn't a porn agent loitering in front of every Home Depot. There was only Jim South at World Modeling.

[Link]