Hi, I'm new here and I just had 2 quick questions to ask everyone, hopefully all you experienced users can answer these.
Why is it that when a male masturbates, he can cum in a matter of minutes (especially when they are looking at something stimulating) where when men have sex with women, they last a lot longer before ejaculating?
Obviously with me asking this question, I haven't had any sexual experiences yet with a lady - yes, I am over 18, but can't believe I'm still a virgin!
Another quick question, more for the men to answer. Does masturbation feel the same as sex with a female or do they each provide different pleasures?
Thanks for looking, any responses much appreciated.
The first time I had sex with a woman I did not reach orgasm at all. Several reasons I could suggest:
1 - distractions. You are having to move your whole body, not just your hand, while concentrating on not pulling out too far, and wondering if that damn condom is slipping off. You are hopefully also thinking about the girl, and trying not to cause her discomfort with your body weight or position. You also are probably thinking about trying to give her pleasure as well as yourself, and trying to read her body language. All of these things distract you from the sensation in your own penis, making it difficult or (as in my case) impossible to reach your peak.
2 - sensation. A vagina feels wonderful, but it is not the same as your hand. Unless your lady is very skilled she will probably not grip you as tight as you do. When masturbating, you can instantly concentrate on the most sensitive areas of your penis, and stimulate them rapidly, varying the friction to exactly what feels best. She probably will not be expert enough at reading your reactions to do that for you.
3 - speed. Unless you are an athlete, you probably will not be able to maintain the same speed of motion while copulating that you can with the old "flying fist". It makes a difference.
Don't worry - slow, gentle and steady can be much more fun for both of you, and your orgasm is much more intense if you take an hour or two to get to it.
You may be surprised at what can stimulate you. I still have difficulty reaching orgasm while fucking, yet if I am licking pussy I can sometimes cum without anyone touching my penis at all. Those female pheromones just light up the pleasure centre of my brain.
All I can say is, don't expect too much from the first attempt. You might end up thinking "Is that it? What was all the fuss about?" Trust me, it gets better with practice.
I think because when you are having sex, we men wish to delay our own orgasm until the woman is satisfied. Therefore, men last longer during intercourse to avoid being slapped! When you are masturbating, there is no pressure to control your orgasm, and you can shoot at will. I'm very different from Licker, as stopping myself from cumming too early is a real battle for me during sex. Just goes to prove each guy is different.
Sex with yourself, (your hand), is almost completely physical, very uncomplicated, and the entire event is very narrowly focused. Provide some erotic stimualtion, (mental or visual), don't be in a office or a schoolyard, and away you go. No worries.
Sex with a partner is one of the most complicated things people do. Sex with a partner is a little physical and A LOT of emotional and psychological components mixed in.
There are a lot issues that go into a sexual encounter between two people, and any or all of them can impact on how that sexual encounter goes. Including how fast or slow you cum.
If you are a male, having sex with a female, the general desire is to delay your orgasm as long as possible, in an effort to prolong the encounter and to hopefully allow for the female to experience the type of pleasure that normally comes after time for them. So in that sense, the pressure is on males to not behave selfishly, and to try not to get off as soon possible, thereby leaving his partner unfulfilled.
As others have said, I wouldn't worry too much about technique or performance issues as you start to explore sex. Just do everything in your power to make your partner comfortable and happy, try and pay attention to your partner's verbal and physical signals, DO NOT HURRY, (unless a cop is shining a light through the car window. Smile.), and know that you get better at it, the more you do it.
BSD
P.S. - Masturbation, and sex with a partner provide very different pleasures, (see above), which is why most men do both throughout their lives.
I agree with Chupacabras. When masturbating alone, I can take as long as I want using the stop and go technique, building up to a pleasurable climax. But when I'm having sex with a girl, I have to take great measures just to keep from climaxing too fast. So being with a woman is definitely not a problem in terms not being used to the kind of stimulation from your own hand. If anything, it's hard to last longer!
Hence the attached, and generally referred to occupational title, "Porn Stud". Its not affixed to them necessarily for a muscular build, but their extraordinary ability to perform high friction sex, with goddesslike women, while refraining from ejaculation, until instructed to do so.
Damn, mabye one of em could chime in here, and offer "me" some inside pointers?
