Age difference is a relative things. At 18 you probably wouldn't even dream of dating a 14 year old. You're now 21 and concerned about someone that is almost 18. At 30 you wouldn't think twice about amorous thoughts with a 24 year-old. At 40 or 50, a ten year split is almost meaningless.

DenverDon

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21 and 18, not really a big deal.

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And I'll also tell you this. Many real romantic relationships that last can easily start off as frienships. Have fun... go where it takes you and it'll work if it works. :)

In my case, both are true. My wife is 3 years younger than I, and we were good friends for about a year before we became a couple.

Mike L.

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Mister Lyons, what you said was especially helpful.

lindi, about people being attracted to my sister; the idea bugs me quite a bit, I feel rather protective about her and I know how men behave, which is why I want to keep her sheltered. I know this is ridiculous though, she has to grow up on her own and it would be a dis-service to her to try to protect her from the harsh realities of life.

You see, the girl in question fortunately has no big and scary older brother, but I imaging if she did her brother would take none too kindly to an older guy who was interested in his younger sister. So I end up seeing my self in kind of the reverse of this scenerio, I hope you understand what I mean because I am finding it tough to explain.

I had a three hour conversation with her mother today and it went very well, she was not the slightest bit offended by me or my past and she actually wanted to hear creepy adult book store stories, I'm taking it as a good sign. She is a straight-off-the-boat Japanese woman and she insisted that I come over for dinner as soon as possible. She wants to cook Korean bar-be-cue and eat sushi with me. As an aside I had fun trying to explain what the english expression "checkered past" meant to a non-native english speaker.

Appearently someone has turned up the power to my weirdness magnet.

thanks for reassuring me

Ned

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i've had many boyfriends older than me. and drew (my old man ;) is 5 years older than me.

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For me, biggest gap :

in relationship - me 24 she 31
where I tried but got nowhere - me 35 she 22
where I decided not to even try - me 35 she 18

Z.

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doug

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But I agree with the mature mental state to make the relationship last. And she is about to be 18 so it is cool.

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I thought I was overwhelming (sic?) her for about a week so I decided not to call her for a day or two. She got angry at me, so I guess I see where where we stand.

I'm glad that someone wants my attention.

Ned

Edited for horrible spelling errors

Edited by - conquistador on 2/12/2004 2:50:39 AM

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Besides women more or less the same age as me (e.g. the wife's 3 years younger), over the years I've dated a woman who was 9 years YOUNGER than me, one who was 10 years OLDER and another woman 19 (that's NINETEEN!) years OLDER.

And I can honestly say that in none of these cases did the age difference matter one jot. It's not the dates on your birth certificate that matter, it's whether or not you "groove" with the other person.

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Thanks for the update. Glad to hear it's going well.

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I have had a terrific day today.

I woke up and the girl was knocking on my door, we were sitting on the the couch watching a movie and I decided to "try my luck". So, I kissed her on the cheek, once I did that; she grabbed me by the head and started kissing me, I guess she was waiting for me to do something and I was scared. I spend between 3:00 and 7:00 making out today (amongst other tongue related things), my tongue hurts.

Life is wonderful.

I have never been so happy about going down on a girl. It's an odd feeling when that is *all* you want to do.

Anyway, especially thanks to MLyons, about let friedship go where it will, because it did.

I'll keep you all updated, just got off the phone with her mom talking about the Silver Surfer.

Life is good.

Ned

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My dad had a long term relationship wih a lady at least 12 years younger than he was.And my mother married a guy at least 10-12 years younger.

There may be issues with maturity or where you life is going and where your head is,depending on what you want out of the relationship,but if it works who cares.......

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I've been involved with people much older than me (I was just freshly turned 18 and he was 42). I've been involved with people a little bit younger than me (I was 24, he was just freshly turned 18). Neither meant much, and neither lasted long, but I had fun with both.

On to the bit that doesn't necessarily relate to the topic. I have noticed that overall I am attracted to men (women is a different story) at a specific age. They should be 36 years old. Period. How old I am doesn't seem to matter. When I was younger I was a bit freaked out about my yen for such "old" men, and I wondered if I had some weirdo hang-up. Now I'm older, and I had thought I'd be looking at even older men, but I'm not. I still like them right around 36.

I joke around that this is the age of ripeness for men, they don't really wake up and start growing up until they're 30. But at 30 they're in emotional shock from the realisation, and it takes a few years for it to wear off.
Any thoughts?

Btw, consquistador - congrats. I hope you have a blast.

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Edited by - nietzsche on 2/22/2004 12:48:44 PM

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Christie lee

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Things seem to be good, in case anyone cares.

I went to her family's house on Wednesday for her 18th birthday and got along splendidly with her mother and father, little sister too.

It seems that I am the first boy she has *ever* been with and I am finding it rather demanding. ie: she'll go down on me, then apologize for not knowing what she's doing. She doesn't get it (yet) that it's not *what* she's doing, it's that *she* is who's doing it. As in, it doesn't matter to me that she feels like she's being sloppy, I'm eccstatic(sp?) that she's into me at all.

Anyhow, I'm very pleased with my situation.

also, thanks Kimi, I *am* having a blast.
ned

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I also knew a couple in NY. He was Italian and 50, she was Jewish and 25. They had great sex---which they used to tell us all about, (please guys.) And to top it off her grandmother was worth hundreds of millions of dollars and they were afraid if she ever knew the girl would be disinherited. Turns out granny approved of the lucky bastard. Of course, now he is in his 60s and she is probably still under 40. Hey, it's Bob Dole time.

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Thanks to all the adt'rs who helped me with my nervousness

ned

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Personally, I don't vibe off younger girls, I like really smart girls, preferably close to my age. I like having a shared pop culture awareness. If they don't know who Captain Planet is, they can hit the road.

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it sounds like from the word go it has all gone all natural and very well.

good luck to the both of you

- - Some one is watching over you

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I really shouldn't be here

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