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Are there any suggestions you guys / girlz have? Anything at all might help me....
Do you think it´s a generation issue? That younger girlz maybe can and are more willing to give in more than older girlz?

Most girlz do know that guys like this part of the sexlife very very much, so why don´t they do it more?
A little bit of salty semen and a spit or swallow is a small price to pay to see a man´s desire and lust go thru the roof, if I may say so? =)

Too bad that more girlz aren´t out there who enjoys sucking, and all the other details regarding it.

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But after a while, when I was more skilled and doing exactly what I wanted with someone I cared for, it was more something that I did to please myself, to see the guy pleased, to use the skills, control him and make him helpless. I could just really enjoy the whole thing on my end of it, wanted to try everything.

So maybe that just develops in time if the girl's experiences with it are positive. Which just means that everything about it is the way she wants it and directs it, unless she craves your input. And it's a lot better if the guy gives feedback - if it's clear he's enjoying, and not quiet and stoic. Whether you make natural noises or just move with things, she can sense how nice it is for you, not just be nagged about how you want it. Let her feel the power of what she is doing, and your passion in it (yum!).

Make sure that you aren't a cum dodger yourself. Reciprocate and enjoy her fluids with gusto. Taste your own stuff (you don't have to tell her you did). Maybe ask her to snowball. For sure, don't turn your head away if she kisses you with the taste of your cum still on her mouth. Don't be all prissy about the fluids, enjoy them. But don't force her to. People avoid anything that is crammed down their throats. I know one guy who hates eating peas in his 60's solely because his mom crammed them down his throat once when he was 5 (he'd been okay with them until then).

Edited by - lindi on 12/27/2003 1:25:06 PM

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Some guys don't like a finger up the ass, so just jabbing one up there, "I slipped, tee hee," isn't right. Or surprising a guy with a mouthful of his own spooge if he's said he doesn't want to taste it. Or maybe, "Hahah, you thought I was a woman, but, surprise! I'm a tranny."

That street runs both ways.

I like sex, and I'm getting tired by the view that it's something that has to be inflicted on a woman in little sneaky, coaxing increments. Try just making it fun for her.

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To show her it's no big deal, you could go down on her after you've cum, or lick it off of her skin and see if she'll kiss you. I've known women that consider it gross, but at least she will know you are open to it. If you're not up to getting near your own cum and think it's gross, don't expect her to want to go near it either.

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I agree with Lindi. Maybe guys should spent less time trying to force girls to do stuff they don't want to do, stop thinking about your own cock for once and actually pleasure your girlfriend.

>Crawl- I'm sure I'll get flack for this, but I think the best way to do it is ' spur of the moment.' Let your girl know you're going to cum, then 'assist' her by placing your hand over her head as you bust in her mouth. Once she sees your ecstasy and has the jizz in her mouth, its my experience she'll be much more likely to swallow. If not, she won't be mad and you won;t come across as a jerk. Its a good stepping stone to convince her to let you cum on her face...my favorite. Just my expereice anyway.

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I can´t say thatI´ve fucked so and so many girls to make a judgement about this theory so I better ask instead, have mercy.

So my thoughts were if the girlz have had their orgasm and sure pleasure maybe they work like us guys, loose the interest for the sex and aren´t so willing to make sure that the partner also feels the same exstatic feeling they´ve just had. Kinda egoistic?

Dunno, but I´m out in the blue right now and making hypothesis...=)

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My advice: concentrate on your partner -- not on yourself. Your time will cum (literally!) as you drive your partner to that point beyond ecstasy. You might even find her more willing to experiment with you orally after you've demonstrated that you aren't leaving her high and dry. But do let her know -- forcing may accomplish the result you want once or twice; but it will dissolve the relationship and may invite retaliation: teeth.

An aside: Gay men love sucking cock and almost all of them swallow -- but then, they know what it feels like and know the vast differences in sensation evoked by finishing with a hand job, pulling off for a last-minute free-air nut, pausing to contain (for the purposes of spitting later), and swallowing.

~ GaySatyr

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If you coerce somebody sexually, she may go along with it, because it might not make that much difference to her, but it changes her perceptions of what sex is, and what the relationship is. Believe me, it's better for all if her perception is that sex is for her pure animal enjoyment (both of you already know it's for yours). If you really want to see a woman who is responsive and sexually agressive and adventurous, that's where her head is. And that tells you where your head has to be.

And things definitely change over time, as to what you want and don't want. When I first met my husband, he said having his nipples played with didn't do much for him. Luckily, we always re-visit such things, and later he found that he did enjoy it.

Which brings me to your other question. It depends. I'm generally a one-orgasm woman. When I was younger, after I got off things tended to feel intense, and I tended to get a little sore if things went on for a while. But for some reason, that doesn't happen now, and if things go on for a while after I've gotten off, it is intense and highly enjoyable. Go figure!

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Anyway, the answers you´ve givenso far clears up some things.

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I think that if a lady starts kicking and screaming at Joes 'head press' then something is badly wrong but to assume that such an act is unconcensual assumes that his actions are very forceful; could it not be that they are more of a persuasive nature, a gentle press just top give the message (non verbally) that you'd like her to stay there whilst still allowing her every opportunity to pull away if she insists?
I know for one that if I pulled away at the point my girlfriend was climaxing, and started using my fingers instead of my tongue, she would not be well pleased and would likely grab my head and push it back down. My personal view is that for a man things are just the same: pull away as I'm about to orgasm and I will not experience such a powerful and wonderful sensation. I believe Crawl got it right with this line:

SNP.

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What if your partner had her 'monthly visitor'(flowing like the Red Sea), would it be so wrong of her to grab your head a shove it between her legs and expect you to please her to full orgasm? Hmm....can't wait to read the responses.
I just don't think cramming someones head is the proper thing....if we talk, communicate and share then I would be more willing to experiment.

Oh, and to answer the initial question.....Yes, I do allow cum in my mouth, but I wouldnt say that it happens every time I give oral pleasure.

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If a man has made clear that he doesn't want a finger up his ass, then I do appreciate Susie Bright's response as quoted in my column here:

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Something about the moonlight reflecting off my blood-streaked teeth and glistening face as I rut and growl. Hmmm...

Still, menstrual fluid and semen are not exactly a fair comparison; grant us piggies that much, please? Should I expect, nay demand, a deep kiss after she comes, sucking that ejected uterine lining right off my tongue? Put on some Slayer, give me enough acid and alcohol, and I'm there, baby. If you love me, you'll...not blackmail me!

Yes, I'm having fun with your imagery, but to answer: what you said about communication is key. Although, to be honest, I did not announce "I'm going to come!" the first time my then-fiancee gave me head, and she got a mouthful. She swallowed. Precedent set. Now, she asks for it in the mouth. I didn't coerce her, but to be honest it didn't occur to me to tell her how things might end -- assuming she had a working knowledge of what happens when there's a dick in your mouth and the guy has an orgasm. Should I tell her? I'm an 18 year old who's only had his dick in one other mouth before this one! I'm just glad it's getting sucked -- I don't know the damn rules!

And I have been guilty of the head push, but I got better. I learned. Self-control and restraint, say it with me folks! Cliche alert: life doesn't come with an instruction manual and we're not born wise, mature, responsible men. We're works in progress.

Nowadays, I'm asked to wrap her hair around my fist and come down her throat. Who's using whom here? No one. We both love it. To be fair, though, I give as good as I get, or I damn sure try ("no more, please, no touching" while lying there quivering is a good sign, right?).

There are right ways and wrong ways to go about these things, and time and place are not unimportant considerations, nor is mood. If I were always a sweet, loving, kind, gentle lover, as nice as that may sound, my lover would be the first to tell you that "you can get too much of any good thing." Sometimes she likes Mr. Hyde to come out and play. Sometimes he does. No big deal!

Variety, moderation, communication, trust, boundaries, ... oh, hell...

Some chicks take it in the mouth, some don't. Life's a garden...dig it.

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Cliche: never judge a book by its cover. Common sense, man, you never know til you try (or ask).

[grammar, or leave my dangling participles alone]

Edited by - cobalt60 on 12/29/2003 4:01:40 PM

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>>Which leads us to the underline to that misconception, does uglier girlz tend to be more forward in bed? And thereafter be more willing to do most things?

You can't beat a good 'ol crack whore any day for that nasty, nasty action you been missin with your sweet faced mrs. Surely you're smarter than that.

>>Hrmmm I wonder how many guys a girl gotta blow before she can do it as professionally as the stars can?

No matter how many or how little cocks a woman has sucked in her life becoming a porn star is a life choice and not a rating scale. You don't need to go through a porn olympics to qualify.

Please, please don't take this the wrong way but I think Crawl needs a nice ADT mentor to educate him in the ways of women. The funny thing is if you ask yourself the same questions the other way round you should be able to work out the answer. Women aren't aliens.

e.g. Do uglier guys tend to be more forward in bed?

Not necassarilly, but if someone has low self esteem and thinks they are ugly it may make them likely to try and compete or one up those they consider beautiful.

e.g. Do men need to have jerked off a lot before they can become good pornstars?

A male must spend a year in solitary confinment jerking of three times a day before he can qualify to become a pornstar. No seriously, jerking off can be valuable for a guy to learn to be able to control his orgasms when having sex, but the most controlled man on the planet could be the worst pornstar. Being a pornstar is a life choice and will be sucessful if you have the right headspace.

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Dude, this isn't a numbers game. Every person, man or woman, is unique. Especially sexually. We all have a certain set of things that we crave, a set of things the we'll "go along with", and a set of things that fall in the "no way in hell" category.

Oh, by the way, porno sex and real-world sex have very little in common. Even if you you were dating a porn star, it's not likely that you'd get a porno-style bj unless there were cameras rolling. When's the last time you nailed a chick and moved your leg out into an awkward position, even though it gave you a cramp, so that the camera could get a good view?

Back to your original question. You want your girl to take your load in her mouth because it would make you feel good. From what you say, she doesn't want to. What are you doing for HER?

I've learned, the hard way, that it's best to announce when the big event is about to happen. At the beginning of a relationship, they always back off and finish with their hands. (Not the best way to pop, but at least I don't get punched.) More times than not, though, after a few weeks or months of showing what I'm willing to do for her, she not only doesn't pull away anymore, she'll resist if I try to pull her off. She might swallow, she might spit, but the key is that she goes as far as she can to make me feel good, because I've gone as far as I know how to make her feel good.

Let me put it to you this way. You're a guy. If you're having sex with a woman, it's pretty much guaranteed that you're going to get off. Hell, guys can get off with 3 spare minutes and their right hand. No big trick there. When you have sex with a woman, make it ALL ABOUT HER. She'll notice, and you'll be rewarded accordingly. (In more ways than you've even bothered to imagine yet.)

Edited by - slightly_deviant on 12/30/2003 4:07:18 AM

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Edited by - slightly_deviant on 12/30/2003 3:59:37 AM

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I hereby nominate you CrawL's ADT mentor -- congratulations!

Vote? 1 for "Aye"

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Come on, you can do better than this.

Cobalt60 wrote;

KittyKat wrote;

slightly_deviant wrote;

Jeez, how did we end up here from the original question?
Where are the girls with they´re answers?

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You know, I could tell you where these nasty glamour models are, but then who would I fuck when my wife's out of town? O-O-O-H! (The jokes aren't very good today. Mid-October was better, too bad you didn't know me then.)

OH YEAH , speaking of -- I thought I smelled fresh meat : welcome to the forum CrawL, slightly_deviant, whoever the hell else I can't think of right now. The lovely and alluring ADT: where the men are sick and twisted, the women are slightly amused and humoring you, and it's Happy Hour 24/7. Don't get any on ya.

Asking "where the women are" around here is a bit like trolling for guys on the "Ms." board, wouldn't you think? By the way, I'm actually a girl, dig? Talk dirty to me, sailor. You've got maybe 6-10 female regulars, and twice that number in the biz who post a while then disappear; so don't alienate them, OK?

You've got an Active Topic. Enjoy it and quit yer bitchin'...you don't see me complaining that no one's picking their favorite cobalt60 quotes? (S'OK, I got more.)

P.S. S&M ain't all bad; don't knock it til you try it. Don't try it til you know what the hell you want out of it, what you're getting into and why.

You kids these days, with your sweeping generalizations and dismissals of things you have no concept of and your snap judgements. I just don't know...

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It's the same thing with some guys. When I was in the army I remember a lot of the black guys having an aversion to going down on a woman. They were grossed out by the white boys who ate pussy. I don't know how much that cultural view has changed over the years.

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And that´s NOT an insult.

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>>Maybe this particular one isn´t the one - it could be that simple. So what should I do, get over her and find a new one....maybe that would be better for me anyway.

Jeez, how did we end up here from the original question?
Where are the girls with they´re answers?

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I'm one of those few women who posts here on ADT, but I didn't read this thread until now, because I figured that it was yet another one about cum curing breast cancer (I knows, it's a joke.)

Crawl, sounds like you're looking for an owner's manual, just like the one that comes with a new car. Women, I'm afraid, are just more complicated then that.

With me, I don't like cum in my mouth, though I like giving a man oral, especially since I can see how much he enjoys it. On the other hand, I love it when a guy cums on my breasts, so go figure. Everyone's different.

As for Joe College's advice to just "press down on her head", I recently saw Rocco Siffredi try this move on an inexperienced girl in his 'Rocco Invades Poland' film (last scene with Elizabeth). Guess what, she tensed up and practically clamped her teeth shut on him, and this is a guy who's been in nearly 1000 porn movies. He had a lot better luck when he decided to next give her some pleasure, by caressing her and licking her, and talking to her real nice; you can see her visibly relaxing. Later on he tries to get her to do oral again, and she's a lot more willing. In the end, he doesn't cum in her mouth, though she willingly lets him cum on her face. You might want to take a lesson from this little real-life vignette. (You too, Joe College! )

For another real-life take on reluctance, involving me and two men, you can read my story "A Tale of Two Boyfriends" over in the Story Time Forum; it's down near the bottom of the page.

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I dont think a spur of the moment thing would be good in this situation. She could react very badly and end up biting your or something worse...look at it this way, would you as a guy, want a suprise of something wet and gooey and slimy shooting in your mouth without agreeing to it?? I dont think so...

I am lucky, as I have a g/f(for the past 2 1/2 years) that absolutley loves to give blowjobs and loves for me to cum in her mouth, although she doesnt swallow all the time. I of course reciprocate back...

Not all girls are the same, some like it, some dont, If you g/f doesnt see if she will let you shoot on her breasts, or stomach, or something,.....relationships are about compromise...

Then maybe later on she will open up a bit more...

just my 2 cents...

Alan

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My passion in blow jobs and women came from high school ( I was around 14) when a guy brought a few black and white picks to school showing a women kneeling in front of a guys sucking cocks. This was a huge shock - I didn't realise women did this - after that I was hooked. I thought day and night about it and as I got older I realised that they could also make the cocks cum into their mouths.

Anyway - I have been very fortunate with my girlfriends (after the first two who just gave hand jobs) to have women that didn't mind sucking my cock. I think the secret is to have a women begin early - and it should be your first encounter.

My wife was a virgin when we met (17) - she knew virutally nothing about sex, but on our second date she had her head resting on my tummy with my cock in her mouth - she wasn't really good at giving blow jobs but within about 5 minutes I was ready to blow. No I didn't tell her I was about to cum, as it really didn't matter - she was just making me happy. I didn't know what her reaction would be when I came into her mouth - but as expected she just swallowed and that was it. We cuddled together and basked in the afterglow.

Well that way some 15 years ago - and she has been swallowing my semen/cum more times that we have had intercourse - she doesn't take the pill so this is our way of both enjoying sex. She doesn't beg for it like a porn star, but as we get into the foreplay, her head goes down and she finishes me off. Her most favoured postion is however when we 69 and I am on top with my cock above her mouth - then she moans and begs for me to come in her mouth with such passion - that as I cum straight into her mouth she clasps my butt and buries my cock into her mouth.

Occassionaly when she is very excited she will collect the pre-cum onto her fingers and then place them either onto my lips or into my mouth - we haven't cums swapped yet...but I half expect her to.

Cum is a fantastic part of sex - without it sex could be very boring indeed - and nothing is so awe inspiring to see than a beautiful woman with a cock resting between her cherry red lips while the cock is pumping warm white cum into her mouth.

So the answer is it appears don't tell them you are going to cum and do it early.

Wow...it just occured to me that over our last 15 years, she has probably swallowed over a 1/4 gallon of cum.

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Edited by - lindi on 3/7/2004 11:16:37 AM

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Still, I would never force her to do something she didn't like. I do concentrate (probably too much) on her pleasure. So, don't expect that by focusing on her pleasure you'll get what you want. Sometimes you're just SOL.

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JUST DO IT

There is no need to push her head down or anything aggressive like that, just get her nice and hot, or, better yet, do a 69 and then pop your load. She'll be so turned on from you eating out her pussy, she won't even notice.

In other words, make cumming in her mouth a natural part of the two of you having sex.

Don't intellectualize it.

2Big

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