As for taking it up the ass, there are some valid excuses for not doing it initialy (hemorrhoids perhaps?), but give a girl enough time, attention, and coercion - she'll take it up the pooper for you.

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Taylor Lynn Yahoo Group

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I warned her on many occasions that I had proclivities and curiosities about ways and things that she would learn to either enjoy or accept, and she has, and does, and vice versa.

In addition, she puts up with my bad habits and I put up with hers. It's the compromise and communication that's been key.

There's nothing wrong with this attitude, IMHO, because you know what you want, you're being upfront about it and you're not going to spring it on some unsuspecting 'deer in the headlights' down the road, ARE YOU?? (Oh, BTW, now that we're dating seriously, you do realize you're taking it in the ass and swallowing, right?) NO NO NO...

As long as there is honesty, trust and communication during the entire relationship from its inception, everybody wins. Or so it's been in my experience.

You can't bring everyone out of their shell. Some women, some men, will never do certain things, no matter how irrational their fears or distaste for certain acts. It's being deceptive, trying to ignore your needs and wants in the hopes that you can change someone, mold them to your will, that conflicts will invariably arise.

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All I know is what has worked for me, right or wrong, and if you prefer playing mind games then the men and women out there who would be hurt by your duplicity are better off without you.

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The next guy I meet better like a pony buttplug up his ass and a saddle on his back, or bye-bye.

Saddle up and get to whinneying, partner.

Somebody who's as perfect as me can't be bothered to waste her time on lesser beings.

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One of my best friends, who I happen to be going to see tomorrow to drown sorrows with (his), just mailed a letter to his new fiancee telling her to do whatever she wants with the ring (he doesn't want it back) and had his number changed to an unlisted number. She gave him an STD for Chrissakes! And gave him shit about not watching her kid when he was so sick he lost 12 pounds in three days!

He's been through this wringer before, it's why he got divorced from his first ex-wife. She actually got pregnant by the guy she was screwing around with. My friend is smart, funny, motivated, has tons of potential, good taste in friends (), and he's honest and direct. All qualities I admire and try to emulate, but it gets him nothing, nowhere but shit on and beat down by the women in his life. This last one had me fooled, too, so I know I'm no damn expert.

*SIGH*

It's nobody's fault, Kimi. We're all just fucked and floating through this cesspool of a world, so if you see a log or piece of anything to cling to, grab it and hope for the best. I'm trying hard not to give up on the rest of humanity, too. My mood and tone lately probably reflects that.

Why do I deserve such a great relationship? I work hard at it, but she could be fucking around for all I know and all this comes down like a house of cards (or ton of bricks, whatever...)

I see your points, but strip it down and one truth remains: if you want a pony boy, there's probably one out there. Now if you can just keep the worthless piece of shit from getting his ass plugged by some other woman (or man), off drugs, out of a bottle, unplagued by emotional demons, holding down a job...

I got nothin', except one thing - love. And if that's every stripped from me, I'll just stop posting altogether because I'll be the most vile, vitriolic, angst-ridden, bitter example of a violent, arrogant bastard that I'll just be banned. And that's for the best.

Toodles. Lunch time!

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But the fact remains, YES, I deserve happiness and good things in my life, and so do you. Don't settle for mediocrity.

I brought a lot to the table, maybe I was held back, but I've reassured my wife on many occasions that she did NOT hold me back, when her self-doubt was such that she felt like marrying me and tying me down (her words, not mine) kept me from achieving a lot of the things I could have or was poised to. I couldn't let her carry that kind of baggage, why should she? Why should anyone?

To see her go from that doubting, meek person to the assertive, self-assured person she is now, that she credits me with helping her become, is worth whatever bad things you want to point at in my philosophy because damn it, it works. The truth is she built me up, too, we built up each other to be the kind of people who can stand on their own, toe to toe with anyone, without fear and demand respect. I've earned it, we earned it. We came from shit! Poor white trash. I will not settle for shit, nor should anyone else, and you can't guilt trip me into believing otherwise. People fucking kill me with that whiny mess.

You can point to what you may perceive as arrogance on my part as a flaw, but if that's what's kept me from accepting the status quo, settling for mediocrity, and feeling sorry for people who choose to be shit, or live in shit, or create a world of shit of their own to wallow in and try to drag other people into it. This 'attitude' has worked out as a positive thing as far as I'm concerned.

BYE!

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I have a problem with a checklist of activities, and with the idea of kicking someone to the curb if they fail. And a problem with some of the items on the checklist being trivial things that aren't even important to you.

I've always swallowed. But if I thought for one minute that I was with a guy who'd kick me to the curb if I didn't, I'd be gone.

When my husband wanted to get married, I reminded him that I'd had my tubes tied. He said no problem. I said, you need to give it some real thought. He said that he didn't have a checklist of things that he had to have so he could look for a woman to fit the bill. He said he was just looking for someone he loved, and would take it from there as far as what the possibilities were. I'm with the right guy (our 24th anniversary was Monday).

Cobalt says how pleased he is to see a doubting, meek person become confident and self-assured. You don't always find perfect. Actually, you don't ever find perfect. You just keep looking forever.

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But I do know that I would have to be with a sexually open person -- what they wanna do when I cum during oral sex is really up to them, just as long as they love oral sex, and sex in general, and love getting oral sex, well, I ain't gonna sweat the fine details. Swallow, dodge, snowball, swirl it in their decaf mocha double latte, use it to affix stamps to mail the electric bill -- whatever gets you through the night, or the morning, or the afternoon of a fawn, s'allright with me. Usually, people who really love each other will do just about ANYTHING to make their partner happy. Start there, and I'm sure good things will follow.

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Now, to totally dispute my own argument with my own argument, I submit this: I have a friend who's favorite sexual activity is oral sex, the thought of it, the watching of it, and it's the one thing his wife refuses to do. Why? Who knows? Who cares? She's always held down a job, she loves him dearly, she's faithful to him, and she's a wonderful mother to their kids.

You have to beat the sense into me sometimes, but I come around. I do like to argue, regardless of what I'm arguing about, but it's no fun when no one else wants to play.

Can't we stir up something controversial that hasn't been done to death? *SIGH*

Nice weather down here today. Beautiful day. Whole new mood. I think instead of "Push the button", I'll write a song like "Morning Has Broken". I'm so confused.

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SNP.

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I would like to apologize for my general moodiness and incoherence the last few weeks. I've had two cigarettes all day, for one thing, and I've not been drinking. There is a point I reach whenever I try to quit when my wife sends me to the store for smokes and beer -- we're nearly there!

That's Nmap Security Scanner, thank you, and for those in the know, it's a fantastic piece of software.

Now as for reinventing yourself all the time: it can be quite messy. Try not to let me distract you too much.

As for this thread: a woman is not like a grocery list for a recipe, though, is she? Although I think they're all a little nuts, the good ones really are sugar and spice, and the cream rises to the top. (How many metaphors can he mangle?) I respect that he knows what he wants, and I've just been itching for a fight. No one wants to fight. Where's Pontus?

I should go before I expose any more of the gears and guts inside the posting machine of cobalt60. This ride is temporarily closed. Please pardon our progress. We're refurbishing for your enjoyment.

Edited by - cobalt60 on 2/27/2004 4:25:46 PM

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If you really want to be safe, get a t-shirt made that says 'I only date for anal'. That way, you can eliminate all the incompatible chicks up front.

Myk

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Edited by - KimiLixx on 2/29/2004 7:21:35 PM

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Myk

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(I'm male BTW)

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Edited by - Matt47 on 3/1/2004 1:14:48 PM

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The problem is that a lot of women are stuck in this Victorian frame of mind, in which every healthy desire is seen (throw in a bit of feminism here, for good measure) as somehow demeaning to women. OMIGOD! He wants me to swallow, and he has the chuzpe to ask for it! Let's ship him off to jail.

I'm with the original poster: figure out what she does and doesn't do, then see whether she's worth keeping around.

2Big

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I see plenty of guys posting that they don't like to hear people discuss sex, it makes them uncomfortable (sick, ashamed) and especially in mixed company. That's honest. The guys get the same Victorian frame of mind as everyone else. And I don't hear too much from guys with daughters about encouraging them to get out there and experiment sexually.

If women got less flack about being sexual and were seen less as targets to either be demeaned or notched onto the belt, yadda yadda...

If you want to make a difference, make sure your daughter doesn't hear your disapproval for the women you see in your neighborhood and on tv who are getting some, don't put the brakes on her, just smile and think how she'll enjoy swallowing and taking anal. And I'm being serious, not facetious. We do have a fucked-up, repressed society where all you porn hounds can complain about the lack of free blowjobs on every corner in one breath, and in the next, you can plan shipping your daughter off to a convent to keep her pure.
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Edited by - lindi on 3/4/2004 1:19:48 PM

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Really, even in a sexually liberated mix of young ladies, how many of them 'joyfully' want to do anal and rim jobs? Its an occasional treat, but gads, if you think its par for the course, you've watched *way* too much porn. No, I think I need to say that again. If you're expecting the woman you are with to have a gymnastics routine in the sack that includes joyous anal and rimming, you've watched *way* too much porn. Get over your bad self and your laundry list. Find someone that you'll be happy with in 30 years. Don't worry so much about her anus. Its really one of the least important parts of her body in the long run.

Actually, I kind of hope that you do find this perfect person...loves anal, maybe a former gymnast or a Raiderette or something. And I hope that either 1) she has something she does that is so amazingly annoying that after a few months you just can't take it any more and run screaming naked down the street.
2) she is really into everything you want, but wants something that crosses your pruritan boundries...maybe a MMF threeway with you 'catching'. Or
3) she just doesn't like you. You're too old, or have blue eyes, or something on her checklist just comes up short, and you get crossed off her list for the same arbitrary reasons you're crossing others.

Karmic payback.

Myk

And nobody needs to apologise for saying that I sound like a feminist.

Two articles of mine:

Expressing your desires.

Anal sex.

(if you like those, check the archives on that website).

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You said it best right here:

It took my wife a long time to admit to me that giving me head didn't really turn her on; I was flabbergasted! She was so GOOD at it!

Then, one day, it was like a switch flipped somewhere in her brain, and the sheer act of DOING it turned her on fiercely - she was nearly having orgasms just from my reactions and building excitement. She'd reach up and feel my chest, feel my heart pounding, and <moan>. WOW! Turning *me* on was turning *her* on, just like I had been telling her it did for me when the tables were turned.

Everything went up a notch after that, and we started trying a little rougher stuff here and there, spanking, light bondage, having me pinch her nipples hard during anal, that kind of thing. Happy times.

It's getting there together, taking that journey as a couple, rather than a "well, if you won't do this, you don't love me, end of story" attitude that'll get you in trouble. But you feel better now. AND SO DO I...sheesh.

Cheers bee-yotches!

TGIF

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On a side note, a porn performer told me once that she thought that since anal was part of being in porn, no girls should be allowed to do porn unless they do anal. My reply was, look at all the girls you would never have seen, then.

And also, my personal desire is to see people enjoying themselves. I'd rather see a girl enjoying anything than enduring anything (though there's that whole contingent who doesn't give a flying fuck whether they enjoy anything or not as long as they do it, and another contingent who wants to see them suffer - so it's all in what you're after).

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I would do my best to make certain that my daughter knew how to keep safe from STI's, rapists, harrassment at work and so on. But I would encourage her to enjoy and develop her sexuality to the fullest. I would also make sure she knew that it is always her right to say no to anything.

I would worry about her much more if she told me she wanted to be a virgin until marriage than if she told me she enjoyed anal.

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If all you want is anal sex from a woman (oh, and rim jobs), you'll get what you deserve, no doubt. But I bet you'll have more long term relationships with your hand than with real women. Believe it or not, some people think that there's more to a long term relationship than repeated sodomy. Some people actually just have sex. Variety, you know.

Myk

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