http://sex.mypleasure.com/education/sexed/analingus.asp

Edited by - d3pr4v3d m4n14c on 9/28/2004 5:10:30 AM

Edited by - d3pr4v3d m4n14c on 9/28/2004 5:10:53 AM

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*hic* damn ... been a while.

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Enemas before I guess are a matter of personal tastes...Huh huh huh... It might make her more comfortable.

The truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination.

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PS. Darcie, my one remaining question would be how you came to enjoy anal in the first place. Was it something that you disliked at first but that grew on you over time? Or do you remember thinking "this is great" the first time a man ever entered your ass?

I suppose this question gets to a larger uncertainty about anal that I have. Obviously everyone has different sexual desires and turn-ons. In keeping with this, a number of women who like anal seem to say that they liked it from the very beginning. However, the majority of the population (or certainly the majority of women I have been with over my life) didn't initially like it all that much, even if it became more palatable/pleasurable over time. So the question seems to be, is love of anal an innate thing? (spurred by physical differences or perhaps by psychological predisposition) Or is anal pleasure largely universal with enough practice and pleasure and understanding from the partner?

In my experience, some women, no matter how romantic the set-up, no matter stimulated the clitoris through foreplay and cunnilingus, no matter how careful (and lubricated) the entry, still always dislike anal sex (this is not my wife btw, she is somewhere in between the two extremes). These "anal disliking" women often made statements like "it feels unnatural" and "I feel like I have to poo" (even if they didn't) , and "I don't like the lack of control." In contrast, the few women I've known who say they like anal cite similar reasons such as "giving up control to get greater intimacy," and "the strangeness and tabooness of it." Thus it seems that these two types are citing similar physical effects to justify exactly opposite conclusions. This indicates that maybe enjoyment of anal is predicated largely on psychological factors. This is not to say that there are not significant physical elements to the act, but simply that the interpretation of these physical feelings and elements (whether they are pleasurable or disgusting) depends on the sexual perspective of the person feeling them.

Am I making sense? Everything i write above is speculation, not fact, so I'd be interested to know all your takes on this subject. What is the stimulation of anal sex for women, and is it a stimulation that all women can feel? Or only people who have specific types of turn-ons?

At any rate, Thanks again for your posting Darcie. I'm new to the board and for a time there I was disparing that any women were even reading this at all.

Thanks again.

J

Darcie Jade wrote:

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To answer your next question I didn't love anal the first few times but I didn't hate it either, which was exactly my thoughts on vaginal sex too. With anal I remember expecting it to hurt a lot more than it actually did and there was the odd feeling of having like a reverse poo, which sounds really grouse, but that odd feeling goes away soon enough, and it starts to feel really good. Then after the first initial getting of my groove into the act and becoming comfortable I discovered I could orgasm very easily with anal and found it very enjoyable. I certainly don't think every woman would be into anal because not all women are that open minded and there are, of course, society hang ups about it being dirty and unatural, which makes you feel uncomfortable about it before even starting. If you couple that with a bad partner and bad first experience the woman is unlikely to think it can improve. And not every peson enjoys the same sexual acts anyway.
As far as the physical feeling of it goes I feel like anal touches a g-spot or something similar to how men describe enjoying having their prostrate stimulated. It's different to vaginal sex, which feels a little empty; like it wants to feel amazing but it's only capable of feeling just nice. Although I don't have children I feel like the vagina really is a receptical(sp?) for a baby and menstruation and that is why we don't have a clitoris in our vagina. How wierd would it be to be having orgasms while giving birth! There are many untapped ways for a women to enjoy sex and anal is definitley one of them! Another weird thing I've noticed is that after I orgasm I don't want to keep having anal I want the penis out of there asap because your butt spasms (from the orgasm and it makes it feel wierd with the penis there, especially if it's in really deep). I think people on this board have referred to that as winking. I doubt I could have anal for 3 hours straight like pussy sex. But with breaks, sure. To see what anal feels like maybe try it on yourself if you're game! Let me know how you go with your wife. Enjoy ;)

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>>TOTALLY! how ever you choose to, its gotta be done. Best Ideas are watch what you eat during the day and do your "business" , then bathe... im not gonna go into detail but make sure you are clean. Nothing worse then a mishap during the act.

2) Lubing: We've tried Wet platinum and it has worked pretty well. Maximus stung her. What have you found is the best lube for anal? Thick enough that it sticks but also long lasting.

>> I prefer plain old spit myself. No irritation, no stickyness either...during Vag sex, he knows when i sit back and tell him to spit, what Im wanting to do :)

3) Stretching & Entry:
>I prefer just some playing around... not like toys or a butt plug... fingers ..dont stretch it out, just have a little fun.. make her relax.

4) Endurance: Don't people's asses get sore or hurt after a long shoot? How do people deal with this? Do they put on de-sensitizing cream?
>> LOL Heck no, i love anal.. so why would I use a desensitizing cream? Its not for everyone, but if you can get her to do it.. she will enjoy it. the key is relax.... to a woman when it first goes in, LOL it feels ike you are taking a crap.. but after its all the way in.. and he begins to pump, its SOOOOOOOO amazing....

5) Pleasure: What positions do you find are most pleasurable once the guy is inside? Is all the masturbating while someone is in your ass just for show, or is it actualy possible for you to come to an orgasm?

> I can orgasm with just anal sex. I find it too hard to hold myself up on all 4's and play with my clit... i like to just sit there and enjoy him.

6) Clean-Up: Do you find its good to have an enema after anal as well as before?
>> Both of you jump in the shower... both of you should pee, ive heard this is for cleanliness...

7) Reality: This question is for the women on this server and is based mainly on a strong curiosity. It makes sense that you do a lot of anal in your scenes because guys like watching it and it pays more. However, to be totally honest with me, is the "I love anal" routine mainly just part of being a good actress? Or do you really enjoy anal sex? (Did you learn to love it or like it from your first sexual experiences?). I suppose the real test for this is how often you have anal sex in "real" life, when no cameras are rolling and there is no contractual obligation. Do you ever have anal sex for your own pleasure? Or does it still pale beside more traditional alternatives when it comes to your pleasure.

>>I am NOT an actress...I dont have to say I love anal for a scene or anything. I just like it alot. Id prefer to have vaginal sex and finish with anal everytime but thats not always possible... for me alot of it is a turn on to be dominated in that way. Its pleasure for me and i LOVE how it excites him. Dont do it if 1 or both have issues with it.. but if both are concenting... it can be SOOOOOO amazing.

PS. Actually, I have one more question. For those of you who women do honestly like anal, do you think the main source of enjoyment is physical stimulation, or the mental elements surrounding anal sex (really opening yourself to someone, making yourself vulnerable, playing the part of a "sex goddess," being "naughty," etc., etc.)?

MENTAL... i think men like good girls most of the time but in the bedroom, they want a raunchy, naughty, trash talking slut.

Hope this helps... good luck with your wife....

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Edited by - whitenavel on 10/7/2004 5:51:49 AM

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My wife and I are working on it. Last night we tried regular vaginal sex with my finger in her ass once she was really stimulated. She had an orgasm and seemed to like it. Perhaps we'll try full fledged anal again some point soon.

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1) Cleaning: Is it necessary?

Think about it this way... imagine if your wife did have an "accident" during anal sex. It may stop her from ever wanting to try it again! I always enema with water before scenes.

2) Lubing: We've tried Wet platinum and it has worked pretty well. Maximus stung her. What have you found is the best lube for anal? Thick enough that it sticks but also long lasting.

I, like pornvalleyprincess also use spit. Be aware of KY... that stuff BURNS really bad!

3) Stretching & Entry

The first few times I did anal, I just let the guy go at it. I'm suprised I ended up liking it after my first experience. Now I simply use my fingers. I purchased a butt plug, but I never even used it. I start with one finger and work my way up to 3. By the time I get to that amount... I'm ready to be analized hehe.

4) Endurance: Don't people's asses get sore or hurt after a long shoot? How do people deal with this? Do they put on de-sensitizing cream?

To answer this honestly... I've only had one scene where I was sore after. But the scene also took a REALLY long time to film. Other than that I haven't had any problems with being sore. De-sensitizing cream will not only de-sensitize her ass, but also your dick. Be careful with that stuff unless you wanna be going at it for a long time!

5) Pleasure: What positions do you find are most pleasurable once the guy is inside? Is all the masturbating while someone is in your ass just for show, or is it actualy possible for you to come to an orgasm?

For me the most enjoyable is missionary. It gives me great access to my clit while he's ramming my ass. Doggy is definitely one of my least favorite. I orgasm everytime I do anal as long as I have access to rub my clit. Anal sex combined with maturbating = amazing orgasm!

6) Clean-Up: Do you find its good to have an enema after anal as well as before?

After anal I usually wipe up with soap/water or baby wipes. There should be no reason to enema after anal :)

7) Reality: This question is for the women on this server and is based mainly on a strong curiosity. It makes sense that you do a lot of anal in your scenes because guys like watching it and it pays more. However, to be totally honest with me, is the "I love anal" routine mainly just part of being a good actress? Or do you really enjoy anal sex? (Did you learn to love it or like it from your first sexual experiences?). I suppose the real test for this is how often you have anal sex in "real" life, when no cameras are rolling and there is no contractual obligation. Do you ever have anal sex for your own pleasure? Or does it still pale beside more traditional alternatives when it comes to your pleasure.

Before I got into porn I had experimented with anal quite a bit. There was a whole week when I was 19 that all I did was anal. The guy I was dating had never done it before and since I had... I decided to do it. After the first day... I couldn't get enough of it. The first few times I had done it I have to admit that it wasn't GREAT. I now enjoy anal and do throw it into my personal life to spice things up or cause those thigh trembling orgasms that are just so hard to reach from vaginal sex.

PS. Actually, I have one more question. For those of you who women do honestly like anal, do you think the main source of enjoyment is physical stimulation, or the mental elements surrounding anal sex (really opening yourself to someone, making yourself vulnerable, playing the part of a "sex goddess," being "naughty," etc., etc.)?

I think for me it's both almost. I love the fact that anal isn't something that most normal couples engage in. It feels naughty. And me being the naughty girl that I am will try anything once! However, I do greatly enjoy anal sex when it's with the right people. As said before... if the guy just rams it in there... he's an idiot! Anal Orgasms are amazing!

Note to your wife:
The first few times you might not "love" it, but give it time! It's not like food where if you taste it and don't like it you never eat it again. You just have to adjust... hopefully I helped and if not... owell, I was bored and wanted to post anyhow!

PS: Don't Forget To Check Out The Latest From Elegant Angel!!! Super Sexy Girls: Makayla Cox, Isobel, Venus, Jamie Brooks & ME!!! Releases October 12th! Have your wife watch this one with ya!

Elegant Angel: AssQuake

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SNP.

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Smarty:
I'll answer your questions as well, not from a porn stars perspective obviously but from someone who is lucky enough to enjoy a long term relationship with a good 9 years of anal sex together:

1) Cleaning.
Hardly ever. This may sound slightly gross but I think the whole thing really depends on the individual woman. Years ago I went out with a girl and although I never had anal sex with her every time I fingered her ass my finger would be a mess afterwards; my present girlfriend obviously has more solid bowel movements and although I have occasionally inserted a finger and 'found' something in there even then things have remained, superficially at least, clean.
I think if you can get away without enemas it helps the spontaneityand as far as a2m goes as I have said before, your digestive tract has evolved for tens of millions of years to deal with a little bacteria so as long as your not shovelling a seriously soiled penis down her throat (which I assume is a prospect she would balk at anyway) it shouldn't really be a problem IMO.

2)Lubing:
If you are not using a latex condom oil and silicone based lubes are preferable to water based certainly. The best combo we have found is a silicone based lubefor the general lubrication but a thin smearing of vaseline or similar over all moving surfaces beforehand. This seems to allow the silicone lube to work between two smoother surfaces and works very very well. that said, sometimes we've made do with spit and pussy juice as well!

3) Stretching
I usually stretch her out beforehand either during vaginal (where I'll use my fingers) or often use a smooth tapered acrylic tool to gradually relax her. I usually spoon her for the initial entry.

5) Her pleasure seems to be far more mood dependent during anal than any other act. If the mood is not right she gets nothing from it but if she wants it and we are both working together (both feeling romantic or both feeling nasty etc) it makes her very hot indeed!

6) No, she often goes to shit out the lube (and my cum on the odd occasions I cum inside her ass).

SNP.

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Why would I do that? Come on, I have to do an enema to feel save from accidently shitting on my partner. Why should I do that to myself? Going through an enema to please? And there is always the question, "Is all stuff out, or is there something left?", which would lead to ME being the dirty, unclean player in this game.

Then there is the issue of my asshole becoming sore from the liquid I applied and had to get out. Maybe my ass is red, sore and just to sensible for even a touch, let alone for some lubrication, penetration and thrusting from a rather big object.

Added to that, would my partner shit fluids, feel bad during penetration for some sexual activity with me, embrace the fear of shitting on me and feel obligated to "enjoy it", just to please ME? And use some baby cream before to ease the soreness and hope that the lube won't sting to much?

Im not saying that anal sex is bad for all females, but often, it is just a pain in the ass (hehe) for a woman to try and keep up with modern sex filtered through porn.

Edited by - MissJanet on 9/8/2006 4:55:12 PM

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Edited by - pornvalleyprincess on 10/3/2006 12:58:59 PM

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1) Cleaning: Is it necessary?

>> For me, it is. It makes me feel more comfortable and relaxed. If I've flushed with water prior to sex, it makes anal a possibility, should I choose it. I'm self-conscious about grooming, cleanliness etc, anyway.

2) Lubing: What have you found is the best lube for anal?

>> Since starting my job at the sex shop, I've become enamored of System Jo brand lubricants. They manufacture both silicone and water-based formulas, so choose whichever you prefer. Their H2O is the best water-based lubricant there is. It NEVER gets sticky. Never. All lubes claim that, but they all lie. This one doesn't. It does absorb into the skin, so you'll have to reapply it at some point, but it won't gum up. System Jo lubes are made by a pharmaceutical company and they go through FDA inspection. Their silicone is a finer-milled, higher grade than all other silicones, and their water formulations feel like other brands' silicones. [invalid URL removed]SYSTEM JO. And no, I don't work for them. I just love their product.

3) Stretching & Entry: The part where my wife and I often have the most trouble is just getting me inside her. Are there certain stretching exercises that work well? Also, is there a specific position (or angle) of entry that works best for the initial entrance?

>> Relaxation is the key. She must be supremely relaxed, and also incredibly aroused. I've found that "prepping" myself prior to anal by using a buttplug is a sure-fire way to end my anal-sex plans for the night. Without the arousal that comes from foreplay, including vaginal fucking, even a small butt plug hurts. All I can think about is how bad my ass stings. Wait until you've been fucking for a while, and then employ a small plug. Fuck her vaginally with the plug in her ass. That feels really good. Have a larger plug handy, and switch to that. DP her with your cock and the plug. That feels awesome. Finally, enter her in missionary. This will allow her to lay back and relax, to SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING (which relaxes her more) and the angle of penetration is more pleasurable. I find that DP'ing is more comfortable that plain anal sex, as the shaft in the vagina provides some resistance for the shaft working into the ass. This takes the pressure off the perineum (the muscle between the two orifices); pressure that can be uncomfortable and/or painful. So, use a moderate-width jelly dildo in her pussy while you enter her. Hell, use a Rabbit. That'll give her clitoral stimulation too.

4) Endurance: Don't people's asses get sore or hurt after a long shoot? How do people deal with this? Do they put on de-sensitizing cream?

>> Desensitizing creams are generally a bad idea. I advise against them at my store, even though we sell them. If your wife's anus is numb, she can't recognize if something has gone very wrong, like tearing. A certain amount of pain (more like burning) is normal. Part of learning to enjoy anal sex is learning to enjoy that burn. Endorphins, hormones and other arousal chemicals ramp up to the point that the burn becomes pleasurable or hardly noticeable. She can't truly enjoy it if she numbs the area. Also, if the cream doesn't absorb fully or it leaves a residue, you run the risk of desensitizing your cock, which you probably don't want.

5) Pleasure: What positions do you find are most pleasurable once the guy is inside? Is all the masturbating while someone is in your ass just for show, or is it actually possible for you to come to an orgasm?

>> I haven't gotten this far. I've only gotten to the initial entry stage. However I hear that missionary is pleasurable, particularly if the man sits back on his heels and aims his cock up toward the G-spot. Reverse cowgirl is good for the same reason, plus she can control the rate and depth of penetration. Personally, I was scared when my husband did the thrusting. It started feeling good when I provided the motion. But again for us, it only lasted a couple minutes each time.

6) Clean-Up: Do you find its good to have an enema after anal as well as before?

>> Unless you ejaculate inside her, I don't see why an enema would be necessary. The lube will eventually vacate her body over the course of the next day, just through trips to the bathroom.

7) Reality: Do you ever have anal sex for your own pleasure? Or does it still pale beside more traditional alternatives when it comes to your pleasure.

>> I keep trying anal sex because I have certain sexual goals I've set for myself. Yes, I want to bring down all barriers between me and my husband. I want to enjoy the full spectrum of pleasure with him. It's part of my personal growth, and of our sexual growth as a couple. The larger our repertoire, the greater opportunity for a long, varied and enjoyable sex life. That's a big key to a good marriage. But when it comes right down to it, I do it for me, not for him.

PS. Actually, I have one more question. For those of you who women do honestly like anal, do you think the main source of enjoyment is physical stimulation, or the mental elements surrounding anal sex (really opening yourself to someone, making yourself vulnerable, playing the part of a "sex goddess," being "naughty," etc., etc.)?

>> I think it's all of the above.

Edited by - Pagoda on 10/3/2006 6:07:28 PM

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