| Author | Post |
|---|---|
| Evil_Rip Senior Member  Power overwhelming 1117 Posts 12/99 |  Posted - Nov 4 2001 : 4:35AMSo you've broken it off with someone. Yet you still feel for them. You think time will heal the wounds, but its been a long time and it still hasn't healed them. How do you get closure? What is closure to you?  [Link] |
| Janitor Retired Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Nov 4 2001 : 9:34AM Don't view feelings as wounds. Then you'll start to look for a bunch of analogies that don't exist. Have my wounds scarred over? Did this thought just reopen the wounds? etc. Try to view it like the physical pain you get from heavy exercise. It hurts, but it's good for you :)  [Link] |
| dexplorer Member 442 Posts 8/01 | Posted - Nov 4 2001 : 12:20PM Evil -- you won't miss her nearly as much when you fall in love again. And somone falls in love with you. You'll still think of her fondly most likely. But also probably in a bit more balanced and partially critical way as well, when someone else loves you and you them. I think this is particularly true when someone you love has left you. That's a very different feeling than when you feel you need to move on. Or they die, as my gf did a few months ago in an accident. There time is I think a better healer, or really more lifter of the weight. Time is helping me. In the interim, there are friends. And flirtations. And being involved in work and other things. There's wasting time with cyber friends as well. <gg> Edited by - dexplorer on Nov 4 2001 [Link] |
| Kimi Lixx Senior Member 2012 Posts 6/01 | Posted - Nov 4 2001 : 12:44PM When something is over, it's over. A relationship, an experience, the life of your favorite car... whatever. Why do you need something special to realize it? Is that what closure is, the realization - making into reality - of the end of something? If so, do something definitive, declare an event. Then move on. Feelings that keep going after the end of a relationship are pretty normal, I'd think. No matter what the feelings are, anger, caring, lust - whatever. Lots of people still have feelings for various exes, emotions don't change anything all by themselves, and they can't hurt you unless you want to let them. I would say embrace your feelings, it's good to emote and be in touch with yourself, much better than being some bitter old fart who closes down and decides nothing is worth the risk of feeling something. Just don't let your emotions rule you - and don't let the feelings you have for one person cloud any feelings you might have for another sometime down the line. You CAN care for more than one person in your life, even at the same time - parents do it all the time. Kimi [Link] |
| dumblonde Senior Member 2352 Posts 7/00 | Posted - Nov 4 2001 : 3:50PM I would only add too, that I think it depends on how long it has been. You're naturally going to miss someone you loved, and I don't think there is ever 'closure' there completely, but there should come a time when you only think of them occasionally, and with fondness, hopefully. It's hard to play the numbers game here, but I'd say if it's been longer than 6 months, then it's more serious than perhaps we could help with, and maybe a professional therapist would be the best thing? It's not that I put stock in them one way or another, but life is too short to still be feeling badly about something that is over. They probably deal with this all the time, and who knows, they could very well have a simple solution for you. I think this thing could be getting in the way of you moving on, and all our best intentions and sound advice here probably won't REALLY help much, right Evil? You're obviously a highly intelligent man, so I'm sure you already know these things, it's just putting them into practice that's the hard part. From some comments you've made, it seems to have adversely affected your opinion about most women in general, and that's not good, we're not all bad, either! I would caution against the 'replacement' solution until you work this through. Although it has SOME merit for the short term, I think it is a temporary fix at best, is growth stunting, and develops a pattern of dependancy on others for personal happiness. Blondie [Link] |
| Evil_Rip Senior Member Power overwhelming 1117 Posts 12/99 | Posted - Nov 9 2001 : 8:06PM When I ask a girl out and she politely says no. Its okay. But when they point and laugh latter, oh that just sucks. Or it will be really mean ones I meet. I just can't help but think. What is it about me that only terrible women will say hi. Or I end up saying Hi or asking out the terrible women. I usually know if it's not going to go well when I say my name. Sometimes I hate my name. I thought about changing it.. but now that I have publications I can't. and yes. what my ex did to me was horrible. maybe I should get help...it's been too long. [Link] |
| Janitor Retired Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Nov 10 2001 : 9:28AM Maybe I'm wrong, but I think you're more impatient about meeting someone to love, then you are hung up on your past love. The thinking about the past love just fills that hole temporarily. [Link] |
| dexplorer Member 442 Posts 8/01 | Posted - Nov 11 2001 : 4:30PM You're a sweetheart. And right as well I think. [Link] |
| dumblonde Senior Member 2352 Posts 7/00 | Posted - Nov 11 2001 : 7:17PM Evil is very intelligent, funny, nice looking, etc, and except for his leadership as high priest of that Satanic cult, he will make a great boyfriend for some lucky girl.  [Link] |
| dexplorer Member 442 Posts 8/01 | Posted - Nov 12 2001 : 12:36AM OK, you're a sweetheart too. And I think right too. Aren't women wonderful when they're like this?? I think so. Makes me adore them. Even more. [Link] |
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