By David Wygant What do you do when you see a woman you are attracted to? Do you run and hide? Do you use some canned line that you read on the Internet? Do you stand there in fear trying to think of the right thing to say? What is the right thing to do? When approaching a woman, most guys make the mistake of thinking too much about what to say. They believe there's one magic line that will work in all situations. They rehearse this magic line, and when they deliver it, they hope the woman will become instantly attracted to them. Unfortunately, rarely does this approach work -- because most of what you say is irrelevant. To catch a woman's attention, it is all about the confidence you display when approaching her. Here are 10 surefire ways to intrigue her every time: 1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here. Make your comment immediate to the situation and it will seem perfectly natural. No matter where you are, there is always something interesting to comment on. 2. Smile. This shows her that you are friendly and confident. A genuine smile not only feels good to you, but will put her at ease while creating openness in the interaction -- a requirement for building rapport. 3. Do not hesitate. If you hesitate in your approach, this tells her that you are not feeling confident -- an immediate turn-off. When you see her, walk over to her within a short period of time (the three-second rule). Show her you are a man who knows what he wants and goes after it. 4. Positive body language. If you approach hunched over with your head down, you are sending negative information about yourself, which makes you dead in the water before you begin. Stand up straight, with shoulders back and chest out, and use a firm yet relaxed walk. 5. Not too fast. If you walk over too fast, you could likely trigger her internal alarm. A calm, casual approach is usually the best way to make her feel at ease with you. 6. Keep eye contact. Never be the first to break eye contact when you approach. If you do, this sends the message that you are not feeling good about approaching. When you use strong eye contact, she will feel more drawn to you. With practice, you can master this. 7. Listen up. Make sure you pay careful attention to what she says. Do not have your response pre-thought out. Women love a man who pays attention to the details of what she says. If you start throwing out random words, she will lose interest fast. 8. Do not fidget. Fidgeting after you approach is distracting and shows you are uncomfortable. If you communicate that you are uncomfortable, she will feel uncomfortable, too, and will close up. Practice being aware of your movements. Pay attention to those movements, or lack of movements, that communicate comfort and confidence. 9. Lighten your tone of voice. The tone of your voice is a very powerful tool. Approaching her in a light and playful tone is one of the best ways to start. You could also begin in a serious tone, accusing her of something like "I hope you saved some turkey for me," followed by a quick smile to let her know you are joking. Practice playing with your vocal tone with your friends -- notice the different reactions you get when you say the exact same thing using varied tones and fluctuations. 10. Lean away from her. A man who leans in too far when he talks often makes a woman feel crowded. A better approach is to lean away from her slightly. This lets her know that you respect her space, boundaries, and are comfortable with yourself. The key to making these tips work for you is putting them into practice! Practice these tips and see the reaction you get. When you put them all together, you will be surprised at their power. Dating coach, blogger and author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's interactive blog at davidwygant.com Edited by - Asmodeus on Nov 3 2009
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard 2684 Posts 8/09
Posted - Nov 3 2009 : 11:48AM
Nice find Asmodeus. I generally agree that it's good advice. For me (relatively recently), I have realized and appreciate that whole cliche 'be yourself'. Although I have never used a pickup line on a girl (cause I think they are cheesy and would be able to keep a straight face while saying them), I have drastically modified my behavior in the past. I realized that I am the most successful with women when I am myself and embrace/express my creativity/non-traditional thoughts. For example, I found many times just saying something original/I-am-thinking (i.e., 'speaking out loud', well, at least non-lewd, semi-tactful, or non-tasteful stuff) some girls find this funny, sometimes. I guess this is an example of why the guy said don't use lines. Besides, I don't think a lot of women are looking to be blown away by a guy's ice-breaker and will cut you slack if you have an overall good conversation (this is where I think many people watch way too many romantic comedies or at least take them too seriously). Along these lines, if a girl doesn't like or respond + after 'being yourself', then this is a good indicator that she is looking for something that doesn't jive with you/your-personality and finding this out now instead of later might be a good thing. Besides do you really want to connect or get involved with a girl who actually likes canned lines?
I'm going to go with: (a) Don't waste your time. (b) Take a mental picture, and when you get home, pull-up some similar-looking girls from your exhaustive comprehensibly-indexed porn collection and beat yourself raw. (c) If you feel you have to try anyway, be sure you have cash with you.
Kenobi, glad you appreciated it. I like posting articles like this in the hopes that those here at the forum that are still virgins or without girlfriends will get some good advice and seek out female companionship instead of relying on pornography for their sexual outlet. Edited by - Asmodeus on 11/3/2009 9:46:41 PM
^ Blasphemy! Seriously though, I can't take any more personal pain, and I've made my peace with it. I wish you guys that still want to try all the best.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard 2684 Posts 8/09
Posted - Nov 3 2009 : 10:45PM
^ All things are not roses BB. Every year, I take another step to my personal solution, chemical castration (just kidding). My above post is just my altrustic contribution to other males as I clearly don't understand women either. Edited by - BYOB_Kenobi on 11/3/2009 10:49:23 PM
Sounds like advice for just getting along with people in general. Women aren't that big of a mystery - no more so than men, anyway. Oh, and for the record, I'm routinely broke, work my ass off to pay my way, and do not look for money in a man.
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realtip Deactivated User
2301 Posts 6/04
Posted - Nov 8 2009 : 5:19AM
I've never been the type to just randomly go up to a woman I don't know and just ask her out, which probably explains why I don't date very much. Instead, I have to feel like I know her well enough to ask her out. Since I don't go out to bars or anything like that, every woman I've ever dated has always been someone I knew atleast briefly before just coming out with the big come-on. I find this tactic to be helpful because it gives her a chance to know something about me before taking me as just another creep wanting to get into her pants. Also, depending on how she communicates with me, it lets me know whether or not I have a good chance. If she doesn't seem interested in holding just a casual friendly conversation, then odds are it will be a waste of time asking her out. But if she seems pleasant and friendly, then that might be a signal that she is also interested. Once I feel like she might be welcoming to my advances, then I'll just ask her out. No pick-up lines. No cheesy come-ons. I just come straight out and say something along the lines of, "If you're free this weekend, would you like to go out for lunch?," or something like that. Another reason that I find it better to get to know the woman before asking her out is because it often helps when you do ask her out. For example, while talking to her, she might mention her boyfriend during the course of the conversation, which immediately lets you know to back off. Also, you get to learn what her interests are. For instance, if talking about the subject of movies, she might mention that she really wants to see a new movie that just came out, which gives you a great opportunity to invite her out to see it. I've asked women out that way a few times. But when I finally do decide to ask her out, I do abide by all the advice given in the OP, which really seem just like common sense. But then again, going by my romantic life, or lack thereof, I might not be the best one to give advice. If only it were that easy.Yes. Except in real life, the girl wouldn't get turned on by it and end up begging you to fuck her.
I always come back to a bit of business from the movie STALAG 17, where Bill Holden had bribed the guards to let him into the Russian compound, where he got laid. When he got back, one of the particularly scruffy guys was giving him shit about it, and asked what HE needed to do to get some action with the Russian broads? Holden says, first you get yourself 200 cigarettes--then get yourself another face.
I already have it, but I look for someone who I can talk to about all the stupid nerdy shit I enjoy, can make me laugh, laughs at my jokes, can act stupid but not be annoying, has a relatively focused goal in life like me (with some flexibility and without being obsessed with work), and likes to try new things together. And lastly, has that physical/mental magnetism that can't be predicted nor constructed.
The approach shouldn't be the hardest thing.. IMO, it's more of a "how you say something" than a "what you say" I think the key is making her interested & comfortable in a little matter of time, and being real doing so.
And on that fateful day, the hatred consumed me... 1423 Posts 3/09
Posted - Nov 13 2009 : 1:18AM
-Have extensive plastic surgery on the cheap. -Pretend that you're pleasant and easy-going. -Show sensitivity; say you once saw a porn scene where a guy wore a condom (even if it's not true). -Smile like a happy lunatic. -Fake being rich. -Limit the conversation about your Max Hardcore collection, to less than one hour upon first meeting. -Be interested in what she has to say: ask questions like: "Do you do IR?", or "Do you do anal?". All of the above are bound to work...
When I see an attractive woman I say to myself, 'She's attractive.' Then I go back to whatever I was doing. lol Seriously, guys, you'd be amazed how much more attractive you are to the female of the species when your tongue isn't hanging out and your brain is actually functional. So, tell your dick to sit down and shut the fuck up, and approach her like a person, rather than a potential sex partner. Of course, it helps if you actually have some interests you can talk about, so it behooves you to spend some time doing other things besides cultivating your porn collection.
Do not even mention Max Hardcore aka Paul Little. That man's movies scare me, so he will likely petrify a woman. However, do mention that you know John Stagliano.
^ Yeah, I have to say, even though I'm very open-minded and liberal about fantasies, if someone I was on a date with said they enjoyed Max Hardcore, I would politely finish my drink, and not see them again. I'm not saying he/she is not free to indulge - I just don't want to be a part of it. I would be sure to give him a list of movie suggestions though - I'm not that cruel.
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