But that's probably not why the original poster, wherever kronas77 has gone, asked this question. There was probably a latent sub-question about how we evaluate the sexual experiences we've had as a result of porn, compared to how we value monogamous sexuality (whether we've had this in our lives or not). And spelled out, it would have probably looked like, "Which orgasms would you rather have: the orgasms you gave yourself, or the ones with the only partner you would ever have?" And while I can easily declare that mutual sex is so, so, so much greater... for me, can I really superimpose my value system upon other, random individual men like a template?

I've known so many straight couples in my life who would have been happier with themselves, and less detrimental to each others' lives, had they never met each other and had they instead spent their valuable time with their porn stashes and their Fleshlights or vibrators. Whatever sex they ended up having with each other, wasn't worth the pain and suffering they caused each other and themselves during their marriages or relationships.

And that's not all. I've known women (a surprising number, now that I count them out in my mind) who gave up sexual partnerships altogether, declaring they weren't worth the hassle and pain, who declared themselves their own best partners, and who spent or are spending the remaining years of their lives astonishingly happy. (I know the question was directed to "guys," but this fact is pretty compelling.)

The sub-question, however, comes with an underlying assumption: that without porn, men can't appreciate other women's beauty, or fantasize about women. And that's just wrong. Erotic imagery is an ancient thing, invented tens of thousands of times in human history because people's minds are fascinated with sex. You can conceivably get rid of porn on the desktop, but you will never get rid of erotic imagery in the mind. This is true for married people and celibate people (whether they're truly orgasm-free or not). You can get rid of cigarettes, and your brain will scramble for ways to compensate for the change in your chemical intake, but it will not suddenly, magically invent nicotine. Whereas if you get rid of porn, you won't forget what vaginas look like. Porn might not lead the way, but your mind will know exactly where to go.

So what the question comes down to in the end (which is where porn inevitably takes place anyway) is the relative value of one's orgasms depending on where they come from. For couples who have been happy together all their lives, sex is a restorative source of energy and joy that added years to their lifespans. But at least the male side of several of these couples I've known has also been, shall we say, enhanced by some extra orgasms that took place alone behind locked doors. And I strongly suspect the same holds true for the other side of those partnerships. Most people I've known who have professed that masturbation is a sin (and I know too many of those guys too... By the way, they're all guys) are unhappy people.

Why take away a source of joy in one's life, unless it isn't joyful?

RFB3

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