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Hazel Heart Interview| Author | Post |
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| davebowman Member 294 Posts 6/09 |  Posted - Aug 3 2012 : 5:34PMSo - having been single for years, I finally luck out and hit it off with this girl. She's young, pretty, great company - all's going great, until the sex. It's fucking awful. I've literally had more pleasure having a wank. She just lies there, no involvment, no entheusiasm, like a rag doll. You have to tell her what to do - put your hands here, do this, do that. When she goes on top she doesn't move up and down, just straddles your cock, looking at you. A blow job involved putting the end of your penis in her mouth, and sucking it so softly you can barely feel it. It's like having sex with a corspe, and after three sessions it's barely improved. She's a nice girl, but it takes two to tango. How can I get some life in her? [Link] |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | Posted - Aug 3 2012 : 5:49PM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Aug 3 2012 : 5:55PM [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Aug 3 2012 : 6:38PM A glass of wine wouldn't hurt. I'm assuming she's inexperienced. There is every possibility that her family has always expected her to be demure and calm. She may be self conscious and unsure what is 'expected.' Initially, you telling her what to do or how to do it may increase her fear that she might do it wrong. In your shoes, I'd try to make it clear, gently, and probably somewhat indirectly, that there's no wrong way to do things, as long as you are letting loose and having enthusiasm and enjoying things together. But let her know that enthusiasm and experimenting is something that you think both of you would enjoy. Also, bump your own enthusiasm and show her a real good time. Maybe you two could also take a weekend away. I hate to suggest porn, since much of it is so unrealistic, but an exceedingly careful choice of a good scene or two might help. Do not suggest that this is about her doing it wrong. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Aug 3 2012 : 6:56PM I think maybe a little lie every now and then might nudge her in the right direction. Like, even if she's never done this in bed before, you can say something about how much you enjoy it when she does that thing. If, for instance, you want her to swirl her tongue around your cock, say "It feels so good when you swirl your tongue around my cock." Or if you want her to ride you hard, try "It's crazy sexy watching you bounce up and down on my cock." Or maybe, as SSG suggested, train her. Look at it like a project. You're the man, so take charge and boss her a little bit. Don't be rough or too much of a dictator, but get in the moment and tell her what to do. It sounds like she's either really inexperienced or really shy. Having been both of those things in the not so distant past, I can tell you with some authority that it won't take much to get her to open up. Make her feel good about herself, kiss her neck, rub her clit, and maybe beforehand get her to drink some wine... [Link] |
| davebowman Member 294 Posts 6/09 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 5:43AM [Link] |
| cross Senior Member I Love Beef Curtains! 1072 Posts 6/05 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 7:12AM [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 10:40AM [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 11:09AM Ya Dave! Call over 10 more of your friends and line up! [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 11:10AM [Link] |
Goldstein  All-Star Member "You have sacrificed nothing and no one." 3689 Posts 8/10 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 11:27AM Remember all the years of lonely pain, and find a way to make this work. Vaya con Dios. [Link] |
| davebowman Member 294 Posts 6/09 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 1:57PM But still - I shall try my best to talk to her and improve things, but unless you are a completely heartless bastard it's quite hard to just come out and tell her how awful she is. [Link] |
| davebowman Member 294 Posts 6/09 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 2:01PM [Link] |
| Goldstein All-Star Member "You have sacrificed nothing and no one." 3689 Posts 8/10 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 2:29PM Some real low-key couples porn -- with zero "degradation" -- preferably showing the girls as really into it, might move her along. She knows you watch porn? If not, be very careful how you introduce it into the relationship. [Link] |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 2:37PM [Link] |
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| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 2:46PM In bed, as you are about to go down on her, you will ask her to tell you how she likes it, what things she likes best, as you are eager to please. Do little slappy (butt only), licky, even comical and experimental things. Nothing over the top, but loose and a little bit out of the box, watching her reactions. Don't pour everything on all at once. And then, turnabout is fair play, over a period of time, you will tell her how much you love it when she does this, and how you'd like more of that. If there is even a whisper more of pressure, you will murmur, "Oh, yeah, more," or something like that. Also, if you are as quiet as a mouse yourself, at least make sounds ("Mmmmmm", etc.) of feedback so she doesn't have to guess what you like, and so she isn't inhibited about her own noises. You will never tell her that she is awful. [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 3:30PM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Aug 4 2012 : 11:52PM [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 12:36AM "I havent read anything mildly constructive or useful from you in any thread on here, its all bullshit/sarcasm and false bravado." - zak3737 [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 1:57AM [Link] |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 2:02AM This is another time that we just have one side of the story. Would love to hear hers. Maybe fuck somewhere else than a bed or sofa? Maybe take 20 minutes of fooling around before any clothes come off? Hell, 30 or 40 minutes. Vibrator play? 69 position? That's so much fun. [Link] |
| urthoughts Deactivated User it takes a real wolf to expose true sheep 2600 Posts 7/12 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 10:32AM [Link] |
| iowagonzo Member 272 Posts 9/07 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 1:14PM if she is uptight and "mechanical" when it comes to sex it tells me it may be a vibe she is getting from you as well. sex is all about relaxing and communicating. speak your mind....you are both naked so if you got to that point then communication shouldnt be a problem. tell her and ask her things. say "when i am pleasing you with my tongue you can look at me and hold the back of my head" and "i would really enjoy if you made eye contact with me while i am in your mouth." be respectful. when you are in missionary tell her you are going to move her legs together, apart, push them back and ask her to respond to the movements telling you what feels good. put her knees to her shoulders and pound her pussy for a little while....and read her facial expressions or moans...if they are a positive response then say "that feels good when i do that doesnt it? want me to keep going?" after a while turn up the dirty factor a bit and speak a little dirtier. say things like "hold the back of my head and watch me while i tongue your pussy." and " i want you to look me in the eyes when you suck my cock." doggystyle....dont just hold on to her hips and pump...a little of that is fine but pump and let your hands roam and explore....reach around and rub her clitoris. rub your hand up and down her back...push her shoulders down and arch her back....grab her hair...gently at first and just hold her hair in your hand....maybe after awhile she will let you pull it harder. when you have her bent over tell her how amazing she looks....rub her asshole with your thumb or finger....but dont penetrate it with your finger just yet...just rub it... this will tell her that you are open minded and not much is to taboo. after awhile you can also stop pumping her from behind and say " your turn to work me over now baby." and enjoy the view as she glides her ass back and forth while she is bent over and her face is in the sheets. when she is on top...hold on to her and use your arms to move her up and down and after awhile just tell her to continue going but let go of her butt and see what she does. tell her she can squat over you and plant her feet on the floor/mattress and ride you or knees on the floor/mattress and ride you. tell her to lean forward so her head is next to yours while she works your shaft...this works great for the ladies that are a little more self concious. makes them feel less exposed. after awhile she will be sitting upright and riding your cock hard. when she gets to that point try having her facing your feet in reverse cowgirl. have her ride you that way....if she cant see your face she may be more adventurous and give you a good cowgirl session that way. after awhile have her lean forward so her face is close to the floor and mattress and have her ride your cock....it will be an amazing view for you....watching her wet pussy slide up and down on your pole. it will also give access to her asshole again...rub it like you did when you had her bent over doggy. again this will hint to her that youre open minded and that no part of her body is shameful and that she is appreciated and sexy. these are just pointers....build on them...communicate...if you stick it out with her i would say within anywhere from 3-6 months you will have a well trained excellent piece of ass for your pleasure. plus you can think to yourself..."I have trained her...she learned to open up sexually from ME!" [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 1:52PM (you still chapped that I kicked your hiney in a debate we had a few months back...?? give over it, bro life's to short) [Link] |
| Kimi Lixx Senior Member 2012 Posts 6/01 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 2:04PM Believe it or not, that's how most young guys are - and they're generally pretty quick about it, too. So, you know, five minutes of being panted on and humped and it's over. Maybe she's never been asked to do anything other than be a receptacle. Try being interactive. Everyone else has suggested this, so you've got the idea by now. I wouldn't suggest training, because that implies that you don't need any training (as the trainer), and you probably do. There's a nifty technique called mirroring that is often used for couples that go for sex/intimacy therapy. It's supposed to be low stress (because stress is often a problem for couples with bedroom issues) because you're not trying to get off, or get your partner off, you're learning to give each other pleasure. So, basically, you both sit there on the bed and you stroke her arm the way you think you want YOUR arm to be stroked, and she tries to mirror your touch and you give feedback - a little firmer, a little lighter, that tickles, that irritates my arm hairs, that's just right! etc... Then your partner strokes your arm the way they want their arm stroked, and you try to do what they like back, and they give you feedback. Turns out most people are lousy bedmates because they really have no idea what their partner likes, and in a lot of cases, they don't know what they like either. So don't assume that she doesn't like sex, or that she's bad at it, or that she needs you to train her to know what you like (which just sounds so incredibly one-sided). If you like her in every other way, working on the sex is worth the investment - great partners just don't fall out of the sky every day. [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 2:16PM Seriously? Do we really need to go there? train·ing/ˈtrâniNG/ Noun 1.The action of teaching a person or animal a particular skill or type of behavior. [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 3:41PM's!! "I havent read anything mildly constructive or useful from you in any thread on here, its all bullshit/sarcasm and false bravado." - zak3737 [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 4:19PM Speaking of this thread, davebowman, I prefer 'lead by example' to the notion of training because the latter suggests a one-way delivery of knowledge, and what really needs to happen is a mutual exploration of what works for you as a couple. I think kimi has given you some excellent pointers in that regard. [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 4:25PM [Link] |
| mharris127 Senior Member 1844 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 6:48PM [Link] |
| mharris127 Senior Member 1844 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 6:52PM [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 6:59PM now, off to the corner like a good little fellow...go on now... [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 9:01PM [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 11:10PM does that mean we're not friends?  [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 5 2012 : 11:15PM [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14596 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 12:49AM does that mean we're not friends? If you're thinking 'bout swapping spit in the showers you can just forget it right now. [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 3:15AM [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 7:13PM [Link] |
| lindi Senior Member 12345 3205 Posts 9/02 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 7:50PM [Link] |
| jayo All-Star Member 2117 Posts 7/04 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 8:22PM [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 6 2012 : 8:52PM [Link] |
| Macster Member 42 Posts 10/10 | Posted - Aug 10 2012 : 2:24PM [Link] |
| His Dudeness All Business Shut the fuck up, Donny!! 2793 Posts 4/10 | Posted - Aug 10 2012 : 11:26PM "How ironic - that IS the only sensible thing ever said in one of your posts.." - zak3737 [Link] |
| astroknight Questionable Moderator Tastes so good... 4187 Posts 11/99 | Posted - Aug 14 2012 : 11:50AM "I do not as a rule seek advice about food from thin people..." - Jeffrey Steingarten [Link] |
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