With a digital media player, you gain the convenience of having access to your entire collection, using only a remote control. Agreed, it is not quite as simple as playing a disc, but I'd take that trade-off any day.
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Foobachi Deactivated User
251 Posts 4/13
Posted - Oct 11 2013 : 3:48PM
and it's also interesting how on a message board dedicated to the frank and open discussion of every perverted sexual fetish known to man, a guy who admits that he enjoys watching his own wife masturbate to porn is being read the riot act. every single man in this thread (given the subject herein) has a rationalization for their enormous porn collections (most of which are ridiculous rationalizations at that) they keep hidden from their wives, because god forbid their wives find out they masturbate to porn. yet I find the idea of my own wife sexier than watching porn, and I'm the creep. as for the idea of invasion of privacy, I would understand that thought process if: a.) I didn't stumble upon her porn predilection innocently, as part of the normal process of her request to fix the problem on her computer that was caused by her searching for porn and clicking on bad links which caused her computer to get infected malware. b.) I used this knowledge against her to pick a fight or accuse her of doing something "wrong", which would be highly hypocritical, given that I watch porn too. c.) I were taping her masturbation and then disseminating it in some form as an act of revenge or perversion. I wholeheartedly support her fantasies and the masturbation that she might do with them. If she were to come to me and tell me about it, I would welcome her ideas with open arms. However, I'm not going to truly invade her privacy by grilling her about it. But the fact that I know she's masturbating to it turns me on. and one of my fetishes is voyeurism. I like to watch. and She already knows that much about me. It has already figured into our normal sexual play together many times over. Call this a rationalization all you want. Every single one of you creeps would be panting and fapping at the bedroom door if you also had a hot looking wife who was into watching gangbang porn and masturbating to it on the other side of the door. The point is, there's nothing wrong with most porn/fantasy/fetish stuff even though not everyone has the same tastes, as long as no one is being hurt or having their sexuality used against them as some form of leverage.
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Foobachi Deactivated User
251 Posts 4/13
Posted - Oct 11 2013 : 3:58PM
actually, you can beat it. I have all my porn on my computer, long ago converted the discs to files, or downloaded versions of what I liked. Now, I use my old Sony PS2 as a media player. IT looks at the shared folders on my computer and can play any of them with one click of a button. No fumbling through piles of discs. No worrying about scratching them. just browse and play, right there on the big 65" living room TV.
Well its a matter of interpretation of "simplicity". Having terabytes of stored porn can make it difficult to quickly find that specific scene, when you have to scroll/sort/search through numerous directories or folders, reading through filename after filename. My DVD collection is much more easily searched.
^ You can sort your files into folders as you see fit? For example you could create folders for categories like features, interracial, gangbangs, or whatever. For specific scenes you could sort by pornstar name which admittedly is kinda weak but I don't see how using DVDs can solve this problem either? If you have a small collection maybe its not worth it? Back when I had loop tapes on VHS I wrote movie names on label, then switched to computer file list to find scenes easier. But I find hard drives and computers make this even easier. No different than using something like iTunes with a huge music collection. I'm hoping the next generation of media players are based on Android and allow you create apps to access files. Then you could have an app that lets you do all kind of searches thru your collection (e.g. show me all my videos with Sandra Romain scenes, show me videos with Sandra Romain gangbangs, ...). You could have something like IAFD and click on scene and play it. Regardless to get back on topic. Using digital storage is an excellent way to hide your collection from prying eyes. Now like I posted while back I would NEVER marry a woman who wouldn't let me watch porn or was not into porn herself? That is just a recipe for divorce. However, you still may want to hide it from kids and relatives especially for more extreme porn like Max Hardcore, Kink.com, John Thomson's GGG/666 stuff, german doggy flicks, ... you get the idea. ;-)
I had typed out a long response, but you know what? Fuck it. I don't know if you're ever going to tell her, but I hope she digests your a,b, and c in the same way that you do. But if that were going to happen, women would also do differently a slough of things that men think they should, but they don't, and men can't understand why. Sincerely, good luck with this.
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Boogie With Stu Deactivated User
1723 Posts 1/13
Posted - Oct 11 2013 : 11:04PM
I don't hide anything. I also have a real difficult time believing that every ADTer does, either.This isn't what we find appalling nor is this the reason you're a creep, but nice try.Instead, you'll spy on her. Like I said, what a saint you are.Or perhaps we'd behave like a grown-ass human being, and treat her like one as well. If it's something she can't talk about, then that's on her. But you spying on an unwitting person is still on you. But of course, we're all wrong. You're Husband of the Year!Right, because betraying someone's trust not to be a creeper is too much to ask. Your wants/needs/desire/fantasies trump hers, and everyone else's, apparently. Honestly, if you can't see how fucked up and warped this is, then you're beyond help. But by all means, keep pointing out things that aren't relevant at all to everyone's objections. In any case, I'm through with you. And sorry for your wife.
Truecrypt.... encrypt an entire drive, or just encrypt an empty partition.... so when the drive is inserted, only the non-encrypted stuff shows up. Easily access the rest through the software. I've encrypted a few TB like this for the past couple of years.... easy peasy....
People reacted strongly and threw around hurtful words. That didn't help the situation. I don't think anybody thinks there's a problem with a guy watching his wife watch porn. I think a lot of people think its important for her to have the opportunity to consent to this particular sex act. (Voyeurism is a form of sexual activity, as is exhibitionism.) Maybe you should look for an opportunity to let her know that you're OK if she watches porn, and that it actually turns you on to think of her doing so. If she responds positively to this, then you could mention that there are ways for you to watch her without actually being in the room.... Keep in mind that she has her own reasons for keeping this secret from you, but the fact that she hasn't told you about it indicates that she may not want you to know about it, much less watching her during her private time. Unless she makes a clear statement to the contrary, you really should respect her privacy. If the discussion goes well, the question of whether you let her know that you have already been doing this is much more delicate. Every marriage has its little secrets. Her porn viewing is a little secret. A lot of us think that the fact that you've set up a camera to watch her watching porn is one of those big secrets that could destroy a marriage.
My interest in porn has no bearing on my relationship with my wife whatsoever. It's a very tiny part of my life. It's just another genre of movie, and I like to watch movies. I don't watch that much porn anyways, and my porn collection is actually pretty small.
The more I read about hard drives, encryption and stuff makes me wonder if this technology wasn't developed solely for the storage of pornography. My personal DVD collection is about 2500 discs (a conservative estimate) accrued over many years, so imagine copying that lot over. I can definitely see the advantages though, so I might think about paying someone to do it for me (I really can't be arsed) one day.
OMG, just discovered the media streaming capabilities of my PS3 (by pure coincidence, actually, while Googling something else related to the console). I now have instant access to some 160 XXX downloads (admittedly, a drop in the ocean taking into account my collection as a whole; but it's a start) on my living room TV - no discs required. I literally had no idea the PS3 could do that. Happy!
It's well known that adult industry companies have been the trailblazers and first to try bleeding edge technology especially for the internet. For example, porn companies were using webcams and video streaming way before mainstream companies like Netflix. Before that they were the pioneers pushing photography, video recording and editing technology. Ironically digital technology eventually backfired on porn industry allowing pirates to flourish.
^Wonder how much the porn purveyors were pumping into virtual reality (and possibly still are for all we know) back in the day? I don't doubt they'll be at the forefront of 3D (when it actually becomes a viable option for viewing and not just the gimmick it is at present), not to mention ultra-HD picture technology. Says something about human nature doesn't it? This topic has drifted a bit, hasn't it? Anyone want to get back to talking about porn vs their relationship?
Update: so my wife knows I watch porn, but she still doesn't know the extent of my collection. She's trying to get pregnant now. One night, we did it for a long time that she was sore the next day. She wanted me to take her again, but couldn't endure me. So she let watch porn til I was ready to cum. I watched one of my favorite performers Sasha Grey til I was ready to cum. Then, I finished myself inside her as Sasha was still moaning and cursing on my tablet. It would be interesting if my firstborn was conceived to my favorite pornstar.
^ My opinion is that a big fight between partners is not started spontaneously. Rather numerous small small chinks in the relationship will build up and finally creates a crack big enough to be taken seriously. You have to be careful otherwise these small things will be contributing to a snowball and one day you will never know what hit you. I am not trying to escalate the issue here. You just want her to be okay with your stash. Maybe she considers it as a minor issue. You will never understand her fully.
Great story. I think what your doing has a large amount of some sort of strange voyeuristic appeal. What if she confronts you with your act? Are you ready for that moment?
I don't know what to say to that. It would have been great if we were able to compartmentalize things in real life. Alas but it won't happen. It's alarming that porn is overlapping with our lives.
Most children prefer to think that they were conceived during a moment of love and/or passion between their parents, not a moment of their father using their mother as a jack-off-sleeve while watching porn.
Well, its a good thing thats kept hidden secret amongst myself and the anonymous ADT readers. I'm finding it very kinky that porn is becoming part of my family.
Like many previous responses, I have watched porn since the acquisition of a VHS became affordable enough. That's 30 years' worth of porn. When I first started watching porn, my wife watched quite a few movies with me, out of curiosity as much as anything else. It also established though that she prefers to read her erotica. Perhaps that is a key point here as well. Erotica comes in many forms and guises. Men by and large seem to respond most to visual stimuli. In my own case, I can quite happily watch porn with the sound turned off. What I did hide from my wife is the sheer volume of porn I have collected over the years. I started using hard drives years ago, so there is no obvious physical stash of dvd's for her to run into. Strange thing though, I have watched only a small proportion of all the porn I possess. This topic is discussed on another ADT thread as well. This "need" to collect seems to be something very male. Put it this way: it certainly made me stop stamp collecting. She has since figured out that there are a few hard drives filled with porn. Based on the amount of tv shows I have loaded for her on her own portable drive, she also figured how much porn I must have. Her answer: "As long as it keeps you happy." Lately we have started watching some porn together again. The current preference for porn dvd's to contain individual "vignettes" suits her much better. When she is in the mood, I am to select one scene I think will turn her on, and we watch that as part of our foreplay. And that's what it comes down for me. Porn enhances my own and our joint enjoyment of sex, and seems to be an excellent way to dispel my excess sexual energy. And as we have grown older together, we both realise the value of whatever aids turns us on. My wife even bought me a few small towels for my own personal use, and put them in the bottom drawer of my bedside nightstand. What a woman. Don't hide that you are watching porn from your beloved. Discovery of the lie will compromise your relationship. Own up and get rid of that anxiety. You may be pleasantly surprised. And if not, it's time for some serious talking about your sexual needs.
One man's trash can be the next man's treasure. 1187 Posts 1/04
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 4:06AM
My wife hates porn. The stupid cunt even had the police seize my computer and they checked it for kiddie porn. She isn't bright enough to figure out that had they found any,I'd be spending many years, most of the rest of my life in federal prison. Without my income, she's moving in with her mother. After that embarrassing episode,I bought an external hard drive. It holds 1TB of information, connects in a couple of seconds,and isn't on the hard drive at all. On occasion, I burn a few disk here and there. They're hidden in plain sight, I write things on them since I do extensive paperwork for my job, she thinks those are work-related disks. An external hard drive is small, not much larger than a cell phone. My wife bought a program that searches the hard drive for porn but it doesn't look for deleted stuff. I put most of my porn on the external hard drive, the program never sees it, even when I accidently left it connected a couple of times. It look at the C: drive, not the G: drive which is the external hard drive. I recommend this approach for the other poor souls with wives that ride around on brooms.
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pervybrit50 Deactivated User
473 Posts 11/13
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 8:21AM
To the O/P you don't have the problem your wife does-it is perfectly natural for people to look at porn. You aren't making her watch it & she has no right to impose her moral values on you. Without people having sex none of us would be here in the first place-about time people got over people having sex on camera & other people watching it-it is totally irrational. budtugley, why the hell did your wife call the cops on you? Did she think you had illegal stuff? Doubt the police would respond to a call saying my husband has a lot of men fucking women on his computer-their response would surely be so what? Why did she try to ruin you life if you are married to her & the breadwinner? Doesn't she have her own computer? If you still want anything to do with her then tell her to buy her own laptop & keep her nose out of yours-program that searches drives for porn indeed, she sounds crazy. Glad I am single. I also got a 1TB external drive recently-saves having to keep burning off discs when I can't be assed, best investment I ever made. I have A-L on C: & M-Z on G:
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rtj2v0a Self-removed
Sports is to war as pornography is to sex. ― Jonathan Haidt 222 Posts 10/13
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 4:54PM
I'm not going to tell you what to do but I don't know how a relationship or marriage can last if you lie about something like this. If she finds out, she won't trust you and you'll probably grow to resent the fact you have to lie. I'd be asking myself what's more important right about now.
I don't want to tell anyone else what to do with their lives because everyone makes different decisions for different reasons, but damn, if I had a wife who was trying to send me to jail for a long time and get me permanently placed on a sex offenders registry, I would run as fast and as far away from her as I could and never look back. If she's that crazy, she'll be planting kiddie porn on your computer herself soon, just so she can send you to jail.
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earthwindfire Deactivated User
257 Posts 10/12
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 9:54PM
The only way police would come and seize your computer is if your wife said she suspected you had child porn. They would never come out just because you have regular porn. So, your wife attempted to get you thrown in prison for 5 - 15 years. Let me ask you, why on earth do you stay in this marriage? If your story is true, this goes far beyond a porn hating wife. The program scanning your computer and stuff is not the end of the world, but SHE TRIED TO GET YOU INCARCERATED, put on a sex offender registry, and ruined for life. Don't say "For the kids".. the vast majority of marriages divorce so your kids are well exposed to it and won't crumble if you and your wife get divorced. Just be a good parent and see them lots.
The poster isn't alone in his wife's zero tolerance of porn. Wives, especially religious ones, routinely resort to threats and/or ruthless behavior in order to put an end to their husband's porn use. The wife of one guy I know did something truly nasty. She put his stash out there for the world to see. He drove to work not realizing that a copy of "The Abominable Black Man" was taped to the exterior of his passenger side door. His parents came to visit and in the guest room dresser doors there suddenly materialized copies of transsexual porn titles. She dropped off his suits at a dry cleaner - for him to later pick up - with a Japanese bukkake disc in the pocket of one suit. She dropped a copy of "Ass Ventura Crack Detective" in his folio prior to a work presentation. He said that when he opened it, the disc fell out, rolled clear across a conference room table and plopped into the lap of a female client. Needless to say, he lost his job but finally took the hint.
I totally identify with OP on this topic. I have been hiding porn from girlfriends and wives for years. Bottom line, find a way to do it totally online and get used to not saving anything. Clear browser history and never save a single thing. Go mobile, on your phone/pad. Pick your moments. An experienced guys &.02.
Seems most relationships are 'triangles' nowadays: the husband, the wife/girlfriend & the porn collection.
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Blue Agave Deactivated User
108 Posts 3/14
Posted - Mar 18 2014 : 4:58PM
Porn isn't even at the heart of the matter. Men are socialized to make our wives happy and women are socialized to make us miserable. If it wasn't porn that they were harping on, it would be our interest in video games, cars, science fiction, the military channel, etc. There's tons of stuff men have to keep away from their wives in order to avoid judgment. Hence the modern day "man cave" or, in our father's generation, the shed.
^ Ahhh the garden shed... Or any other secret place where your father had hidden his porn stash. I remember the excitement once I had discovered it, waiting to be alone in the house... Electric!
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earthwindfire Deactivated User
257 Posts 10/12
Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 2:42AM
It's really sad that our culture has developed where wives will attack any hobby their husband wants to spend some of his down time with. WHether it be comics, movies, porn, beer making, collecting stuff, whatever. I hear so many stories of guys who end up giving up decades long collections because the wife demands to clean out the garage, or they nag them until they stop spending any time on their hobbies. I think it is all some massive insecurity that they want to be the 100% center of your world, and not 90% with 10% on your man hobbies. Women don't understand this one bit, but women that understand a man needs his hobbies and they nurture and support their husband will end up getting a happy man who is a more romantic lover, more dedicated to her, and will not stray.
^ I don't blame the women here I blame these weak loser men for not being upfront and honest with these women before they got married!! If you like watching porn you should make it known to your woman BEFORE you get married. What if she is really religious or has self esteem issues. You will just make it worse when she finds out later you are watching porn behind her back. Also you are not being honest with yourself. If you like to watch porn, sports, gamble, drink, whatever your vice if you hide it from your spouse then what the fuck kinda marriage do you expect to have? No wonder the divorce rate is so fucking high!!! I believe most of these guys hiding porn from their wives probably have bigger issues. Probably guys living in ultraconservative or religious regions or circles hiding their vices from their Republican friends and family. The only excuse for hiding porn from your wife is if you are into some really extreme or kinky stuff that most women cannot handle like gay/bi/tranny stuff, or Meatholes/Max Hardcore/GGG type videos. But I know women who are actually into watching rough porn as long as it has good looking guys like Rocco in it and not guys like Dirty Harry or Max.
Yeah, I remember that too...Fast forward 30 years - and several thousand movie/magazine viewings later - and I am now so jaded I'll often go weeks at a time without feeling the need to jerk off. What's that old saying about being careful what you wish for?
Could the viewing and collecting of porn be reasonably considered a hobby? Basically (not you, earthwind, I'm speaking in general terms), you're effectively classifying jerking off as a 'hobby'. I remember once using this argument against my girlfriend and her laugh of derision practically caused my dick to wither and drop off. She's mellowed a lot in the intervening years - she's now my wife of 6 years standing. I've said it before in an earlier post but such is the ease of availability in this day and age, show me a woman who seriously believes her other half isn't slyly viewing porn and I'll show you a very confused and deluded individual. Hiding porn shouldn't even be an issue in 2014 as the need for a 'physical' stash has all but evaporated. I still use DVDs and mags (as well as online) but I'm old skool.
^ Jaded... Know what you mean. There no longer is the sheer thrill associated with getting your hands on some dirty mag at a seedy 2nd hand bookstore, or a video in the "Adults Only" section of your local video store, behind the sleazy curtain. The excitement of opening your treasured prize when you got home... I think the problem these days is not so much that we can access porn easily via the Internet, but that we wade through mountains of porn that is crap. Instant moodkill. On the hobby issue: watching porn is not a hobby; collecting porn is! My wife will occasionally watch some porn with me to get aroused before sex. If it looks like it is pretty new, she will say slyly: "Have you indexed that properly in your collection yet?" Ha ha... but so true! For god's sake, if your partner can't handle you watching any sexual material, go find a counselling service! Use it to spice up your relationship. Dare to live! And telling your partner that you like watching porn does not mean (a) that she is expected to watch any of it with you, and (b) that you have to tell her of all your kinks. One step at a time...
^ No, the issue for me is that I have definitely consumed too much (and I'll bet I'm not the only one round these parts). It's interesting to chart the evolution of a porn habit. Started with reading Men Only & Mayfair (UK soft porn mags, for the uninitiated) - now I watch stuff from Facial Abuse & Ghetto Gaggers. Well, I say 'watch' - I joined & have stuff on my hard drive, that's about it. The sad truth is I'm bored shitless with 99% of porn nowadays (I'd rather have sex with my wife - yeah, even I can't believe it), though I maintain an interest in it as a subject, hence my membership of this site. My wife now admits she had issues with herself at the time she used to berate me for porn use. These have now been long resolved and she's completely cool with it. We have watched together on occasion but she nearly always ends up taking the piss, which annoys me.
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pervybrit50 Deactivated User
473 Posts 11/13
Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 10:32AM
I find a lot of the fun of watching porn is laughing at it-the terrible acting, the ludicrous plots, the women making ludicrously fake noises etc etc. I find that nearly as good as actually then getting of to the action. Just laugh at it with her.
Well, yeah, of course I'm aware that the vast majority of porn is inherently ridiculous. But it hardly needs me to say that male & female brains are wired quite differently when it comes to what we find sexually arousing. A bunch of guys watching a stripper will usually do so in rapt silence, whereas with women it's an altogether more raucous affair. I'll admit I'm with my wife when it comes to her main bugbear: women excessively screaming their way through scenes. Does anyone actually enjoy this? No girl does this in real life - the neighbours would call the cops.
^ Must be an age thing, that real sex seems to have become more interesting again. It has with us as well. Try this: select a funny scene and watch it together, then go act it out in the bedroom. Much hilarity and self-conscious giggling, but isn't that what sex is about in the end: have some fun!
^ My younger self would be aghast at my saying this but I think as I've gotten older I need the warmth, the intimacy and actual human contact that porn just cannot provide. A moment or two of 'spooning' my missus in bed gives me a bigger, harder boner than I've been able to obtain from porn for quite some time. Had I not spent thousands on my collection (seriously) I reckon I could probably quit porn. I'd give it a bloody good go, anyway.
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Blue Agave Deactivated User
108 Posts 3/14
Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 9:20PM
This presumes that women are completely ignorant about computers - that they don't know how to check browser or program history, hidden files, etc. Alternatively, it presumes that women simply care less if the porn is contained within a computer (as opposed to spread around the house in the form of magazines or DVDs). However, if you do a Google search of Porn + Partner's + Computer you'll find bazillions of sites devoted to women talking about finding and/or looking for porn on their partner's computer. After clothing related searches, outing a man's computer porn stash might be the single biggest search request made by women.
Ok fellas wrap your heads around this one ... What if you found out your wife or girlfriend had a secret hidden stash of porn you didn't know about? And it was not the vanilla sex type movies like Wicked or Vivid movies but IR, gangbangs, strapon, tranny, bisex, or even gay male porn!!! What if you found out she was really into watching cuckold porn with women getting fucked by black guys (or different race if you are not white) while the hubby or boyfriend is forced to watch and maybe even have some bisex action? Or she has a Kink.com membership and likes the watch femdom movies with women dominating men, fucking them with strapons, or even forced bisex action? How would you feel about it? Would it piss you off? freak you out? scare the hell of you? or turn you on?
^ How about respecting her right to watch anything she damn well pleases, just as she should respect yours. For fuck's sake, it's porn. Take a deep breath and dare to just enjoy it. And ask your partner what DVD you can order for her, next time you get yours.
^^If I discovered that my wife had a porn stash, I'd be intrigued. I'd ask if I could watch some of the videos with her. I'd ask her to choose maybe 5 dvds that are her favorite and we could watch them together. It'd be a great way to find out what kinds of sex acts she might want to do but have been too shy to ask. If she wanted me to have any sort of sex with another man, that'd be the area that I'd never cross into, but I'd be open to just about anything else she wanted me to do.
Posted - Oct 11 2013 : 3:09PM
