Reviewers Recommend Working Girls 3 (Reality Junkies) - review by Captain Jack Director: Mike Quasar Starring: Danny Mountain, Derrick Pierce, Anissa Kate, Codey Steele, Adira Allure, Elizabeth Skylar, Taylor Wild, Jay Romero. Read review
I am a very sexual person, and enjoy a good go in the bed. Unfortunately my husband of 1.5 years just doesn't seem to be into my body, as I am into his. I will do anything to him/for him to give him pleasure, but I don't seem to get the same in return. I have offered kind suggestions as to what I like or what turns me on... but they don't seem to get me anywhere. He still feels that the only thing he has to do is bring his dick to the bed!!
^ There's a possibility that he isn't into you, but it sounds like he's just being lazy. Maybe he just isn't adventurous? It could also be simply because you are married; that does tend to ruin sexuality for men sometimes.
My STRONG recommendation is seek professional help. No guaranty it will work, but it will help you QUICKLY evaluate and make some decisions about where you're going with your life. Don't wait, don't think things will somehow just get better on their own. Don't worry about the $$, find someone to help you professionally and force the process. You'll BOTH benefit from whatever the outcome is. Best to you and your spouse!
Have you told him how you feel? Obviously I don't know either of you, but I've always had luck being direct: "I like/want (fill in the blank). You are not doing (blank). It makes me feel (blank). I would really like it if you/we (blank)." Maybe if you let him know that sex is high on your list of priorities, and you would like him to focus on it more. For me, these conversations have been most successful away from a sexual situation.
Thanks for all the feedback, hopefully there will be more. I have had these types of talks, and sometimes they get me some of the action that I like, but after a while he "forgets"? Maybe like said above.... he is just lazy. Edited by - labhunts on 4/4/2011 10:34:22 PM Edited by - labhunts on 4/4/2011 10:35:10 PM
I don't know if he's lazy or not. I just don't recommend assuming he's lazy. This is a BIG issue that warrants BIG action. Get some help. What you're describing isn't typical and it's not working for you. You deserve to reach a resolution. Don't settle for status quo.
I am a regular purchaser from Adam & Eve and Fredricks of Hollywood. I've got lots a outfits that I put on very often. I've got lots o' toys in the drawer to enhance the pleasure. While he enjoys all of these things, he never seems to have the desire to please me the way that guys on this forum write about pleasing their GF/Wives etc. I even purchased a book for him on cunniligus, thinking that maybe he just never really learned how to do it right.... but I know he hasn't read past the second page. I should also mention that unless he has been drinking, he never lasts more than 10 min... if that at all. While I have read a lot about this subject on these pages, I don't have the courage yet to talk about that disheartening situation. Really appreciate the feedback!!!
None of my business, but if you are hellbent on getting him stirred up, try this book....Spectacular Sex Moves by Sonia Borg... I found it very liberating.
All your attempts may have been too superficial. Maybe his performance problems are symptomatic of something else, something deeper. You should have an involved conversation about... whatever. Everything. It might loosen him up, change his perspective, stir up some passion.
^ I agree with ma meeshka, ramp it up. What you're doing isn't working. Doing more of it isn't going to work either. Like the old joke about talking with a donkey, start with the 2X4 to the head. You need to get his attention and getting professional help will do that.
I have one suggestion from experience: You said you have fredericks outfits and so forth. I recommend taking this a little further-get some nice platform heels-I recommend pleaser brand, you can get these off ebay-get some 6" stilettos ($30-$60). Add fishnet stockings or leg warmers and bows, maybe even fishnet gloves. Put bows in your hair-dress like a dirty girl. Before you dress up, tell him you have a surprise for him-set the situation up-and do a strip tease for him. This is a good way to capture his attention and make him see you differently. Make sure to waggle your ass in his face a lot :) It is very good to have him sit on the ground with you standing, perhaps using a chair as a prop. My point here is that you can redesign how he sees you and men are really about the package and the visual stuff-you can teach him to worship you, but it may require some creativity. If you haven't tried this strip tease-in full stripper gear-do it, it may very well work. Oh yes, and remember the goal here is to have him eat your pussy-this entire idea is designed around that and I highly recommend a soft, white thong for your centerpiece. Hope this is a new idea and therefore has a chance to help!
It doesn't sound like laziness to me, it sounds like selfishness. At any rate, you really need to take Rod's advice. If what I suspect is true, then you do not want to be the person who 'exposed' your husband's flaws. Let the professional take the heat.
If you learn some sexual blog or tips from any sex dating sites, you definitely find answer, dating sites guide you for impress your partner and tips of some sexual position.
Labhunts, I wish you the best in your relationship. Whatever road you decide to take, recognize addressing these issues takes much longer than most expect. Start early, work hard at it, but recognize it takes time. He didn't get to be like he is overnight and things won't change quickly either. Change is HARD work and doesn't happen on its own. You can only change yourself, he has to decide it's important to him.....actually, he has to decide it's VERY important to him. I suspect it will take much more than a new sexy outfit. Best to you.
I guess that I have given my post the wrong subject.. as I do not have a problem getting my husband to have sex with me, that's not a problem at all. In fact we have sex very often. I think Rod and Hardware have touched the topic correctly. #1 he is selfish in bed.. (thought it was laziness) only wanting himself pleased, and not wanting to do the work for me. He says that he really wants me to cum too.. but doesn't seem to want to do the work to get me there, has no problem laying there while I play with my toys. Acts like it's a chore when I ask him to hold the vibrator as it "turns me on when he holds it". #2 This problem is going to need professional intervention. There isn't any dipolmatic way to get my point across without him getting upset. I've seriously thought about it and will look into it today. I thank you all for your thoughts and comments. I'm very glad that I found this website. It has helped me out a lot!!
Well, I'd still try what I was describing... I said that out of experience-I used to have no interest in my wife and she did that for me and now I see her differently-since then, it is a big part of our sex life and everyone is very happy-mostly due to increased interest on my side. And in my case, it DID change overnight... I went from being kind of "blah" toward my wife to being almost obsessed with her sexually.... You'd be surprised how the mind works and anything is worth a try when your happiness is at stake/risk. Him not wanting to hold the vibrator definitely suggests a real serious issue, but sounds like you're going the clinical route,... so good luck, hope it works!
Has your husband had many partners before you? Men sometimes need to be given very specific directions, why do you think GPS was invented. haha My suggestion: Try watching porn and having lots of foreplay while watching, have him make you cum while he is playing with you. Let him go inside you and feel how wet you are from your cum just for a minute, and then push him off. Hand him a toy or tell him to use his hand to get himself off and have him see how it feels to be you sometimes.
A lot of it might have to do with him feeling wanted. Sex at times can be a chore for men. Sometimes I feel like I am trapped into making her feel good when she makes no effort in making me feel good, and the more this goes on the more selfish I get in "using her" to the point where I am not sexually happy. Sure I get off and blow my load, but that is all it is, sexually it is less satisyfing than jerking off. When sex becomes a chore, it is not fun, to either party. I had this discussion tonight with my g/f, she got upset because I am talking with another girl. She said that she(the girl I am talking with) is getting what she wants from me, being flirtatious and enthusiastic. My g/f is mad at me because I am not flirtatious with her, last weekend we did yard work, I edged the lawn and that made me happy, I also made a kick ass desert for her but she would have rather been fucked senseless, and I just wasn't in the mood for fucking.
And that is another thing Rod, LOL, easy for me to laugh about it, I am far from normal, even a bit creepy I think. I guess I got my wake up call in another thread. I just keep wanting more and more, I need something more exciting than last time, now I am to the point where I consider lighting women on fire as foreplay. That just isn't remotely normal.
No I don't only serve it with anal, I actually dislike anal sex LOL. Contradictory I know. Here is the recipe...Take a clean Martini glass, dump about a tablespoon or so of chocolate malt powder in the bottom, drizzle the inside of the glass with chocolate syrup, pour enough chocolate pudding to cover the malt powder, then sprinkle an even coat of white sugar on top of the pudding, then fill the rest of the glass with pudding, and don't forget to mix crushed graham crackers with the pudding. Another note to labhunts, maybe you are trying to hard or being to easy, some guys like a challenge or we want what is out of our grasp. You might want to start giving him the cold shoulder, don't let him get off. Tell him you aren't that interested and just wanna watch a movie, and if you are cuddling, push his hands away. Totally nothing more than a suggestion, you know your lover much better than I do.
[Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User
Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05
Posted - May 31 2011 : 10:00PM
Sex might intimidate him, but I'm not sure that is the problem. The fact that he gets off without taking care of your needs, makes me think he is immature and down right selfish. I suspect the time for subtlety, on your part is past. It's time for the old "ball pein hammer" upside his thick head. You need to be direct with him. Tell him of your disappointment with the sex, and what he needs to do for you to have a rewarding experience. Tell him, no demand from him, what you want. You are a woman and its way past the time to roar! You said that you have been married 1 1/2 years and you did not mention children. Until things change, don't consider having them. I bet his attitudes outside of the bedroom, are similar to those he has inside it.
[Link]
trout bum Deactivated User
"I'm Not Here To Suck My Own Cock!" 2145 Posts 5/10
Boy howdy can I relate to this! My husband and I have known each other literally since we were children. We dated in high school, went our seprate ways and ended up together again after about 5 years of being "friends." We were married about two years when the sex went stale. And I do mean stale. I could probably give you a play by play but you'd fall asleep. What did it for me was just flat out telling him what I want everytime he initiates sex. EVERY TIME. I know, I know, he should know what I like after 15 years but you know some men just don't take instruction well. If he doesnt do what I need him to do, I lay there like a dead fish until he does. I am not above telling him that what he is doing does or doesnt feel good and if Mamma's not happy, nobody's happy. Our relationship is certainly not based on just sex but it's amazing how it can carry through the whole marriage. He's even more likely to finish his 'honey do' list and I'm less likely to nag when we're both sexually satisfied. Now dont get me wrong, it goes both ways. Although I know what he likes, I'm more willing to pamper and please him if he does the same for me. LOL I asked him once to rub my neck for me and he squeezed my shoulders about five or six times and patted my back and said,"There you go." So then a while later when we were about to get busy he asked for some oral and pumped him a few times with my hand and said, "There you go." He got the message loud and clear. It took awhile and we still have our ups an downs in the bedroom just like any other married couple, but he's more likely to make sure I have a good time with him instead of me just giving him a good time. You really shouldnt be doing all the work, especially if it's making you feel like something is wrong with you.
Working Girls 3 (Reality Junkies) - review by Captain Jack
Posted - Apr 4 2011 : 2:30PM
