Is it ideal for men to have higher sex drives than women in romantic relationships? The disparity is believed to be substantial but it is not extreme. Could it be argued that couples that have equal sex drives have more problems than those couples where the woman’s sex drive is either more or equal to than the man? I ask these questions because it appears to me that many people find it troublesome when husbands/boyfriends have lower sex drives than their girlfriends/wives? It appears to me that they define it as a major trait in masculinity. Am I correct?
Disparity in sex drives causes conflict no matter who has the greater drive. When men don't get it they wander, they feel undesirable, they feel inadequate, they are physically and mentally preoccupied and uncomfortable. When women don't get it they wander, they feel undesirable, they feel inadequate, they are physically and mentally preoccupied and uncomfortable. Relationships are strongest when the people involved feel that they are getting what they need.
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Rubberhole Deactivated User
256 Posts 2/10
Posted - Sep 9 2012 : 9:24AM
"It appears to me that they define it as a major trait in masculinity. Am I correct..." That is society making that judgment. Pop culture, music, movies, television, even porno, portray the fact that a 'real man' walks around with a hardon 24 hours a day, ready to fuck a hole in the ground if need be. Sex drive has nothing to do with masulinity. Neither does penis size. Most of is rooted in nature coupled with the indivduals person chemical makeup. Sexual prime for a male is in the teens. For the female in the 30's-early 40's. That can be problematic. Go figure.
Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00
Posted - Sep 9 2012 : 11:37PM
Je bois du petit lait! Joey "wahine fan" Starr
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Death Squad Deactivated User
43 Posts 9/12
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 3:03AM
i've heard that before about a woman's prime being in her early 30's-mid 30's but is this really true? first of all it doesn't really make sense biologically (you would think her prime would be in her teens/early 20's) and then also why would it peak at that later stage in life?
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Rubberhole Deactivated User
256 Posts 2/10
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 8:10AM
^^^ I agree with you, its weird...but this is what they sexologists/biologists put out as scientific fact...I believe 'sex drive' and 'fertility' are two totally different things. Its said men run around because instinctively they want to spread their seed with as many fertile females as possible to continue the human race. is that true...?? Who knows. Its like that in the animal kingdom, Why not us humans.
Biologically speaking men are the sexual aggressors. On an animal level that is the scientific basis for our behavior and then we have all the variations of that behavior between the sexes because we are all slightly different and those differences are affected by so many other factors such as upbringing & environment, health, age differences between a couple in some instances, cultural and others. But the basic instinct is man is the pursuer and woman the the object of that pursuit.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard 2684 Posts 8/09
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 9:29PM
Although, you accounted for all the major 3 components of humans (biology, behavior, cognitive), which many people forget about cognitive component. I still think you under-estimate/under-value cognitive aspect. Human's cognitive capacity and evolution, especially in sexuality has evolved tremendously and is constantly evolving. How do you explain fantasy? Biology and behaviorism doesn't explain this. It's vastly cognitive process. How do you explain reading sexual material? Biology and behaviorism are the minor aspects. How do you explain the so called "spank bank"? That's all cognition. How do you explain the so called sexual roleplay? Human cognition is a big role. How do you explain dirty talk? That's all cognition. Also a lot of times, the interplay between behavior and cognition is hard to parse and works off each other. The one thing humans have developed and separates us from many animals is our level of cognition. Human sexuality is so complex using, high order functioning, memory, and integrating many brain functionality, which are all cognitive components. Human sexuality is much more than just animalistic banging/sex. That's just one small part. Edited by - BYOB_Kenobi on 9/11/2012 9:36:28 PM
I'm not buying the idea that a confident, adventurous female is wired to become submissive during sex. She might, however, adopt less assertive behavior because she has observed that the male is made nervous by a direct approach, and a limp penis ruins the party. In short, we must first ask whether we can distinguish learned behavior from innate behavior.
I've certainly had to reign myself in with guys before, and it's frustrating as hell. Learned behavior. I always reign myself in before I can ascertain what he wants or will be receptive to in bed.
I don't know about ideal, but it has been my experience that women have a higher sex drive than men. Men seem to be more insecure about their sexuality than women, and I don't mean their sexual identity, women just tend to be way more sexual than men in my opinion. Men like to fuck, but when they get their rocks off they are done, women tend to want more, and more. Sensuality is a big thing with women, again in my opinion, it isn't just about cumming, it is about feeling wanted and an orgasmic experience, the bonding of two bodies.
Posted - Sep 7 2012 : 11:34PM
