the comments on this one are just as interesting as the article. a sample: "I am 21 years old. I masturbate often, two to three times a day. I don't have any interest in pursuing girls for a committed relationship. I haven't been on the scout for a f**k-buddy in little over 2 months due to the realisation I had with my last casual partner, a realisation that has had me shook up, a realisation that I believe to be tied in with my habit of excessively watching pornography. After the courting stage with this girl, when we were in bed, things were getting hot and steamy. We were down to our underwear and kissing frantically. She went to stroke downstairs... Nothing. I didn't feel any pleasure from her whatsoever. I was more flaccid than a baby ant-eater made out of snow. She looked confused, offended and upset, all at the same time. This was my queue to get out of there quickly and reassess my thoughts and feelings. On the drive home, the scene kept spinning through my head. Why? Why didn't I get it up? What was wrong with me? What was wrong with her? What was wrong with the world? Then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I wasn't attracted to this girl at all, I was attracted to the sexual power I held over her during the courting stage. When we were flirting, it was fun. There was a lot of sexual tension, a lot of innuendo, a lot of "will I have sex with you or won't I have sex with you?". Contrary to popular beliefs, I was the partner in this game that held all the cards. She was like a little flirting, sexual puppet and it was amusing to watch her writhe with pleasurable frustration due to my antics. It was not until we were in bed about to do the deed that this game had ended. The chess board had been cleared: It was no longer fun and there was no power struggle to be had.."
I think what has to be considered is that the porn generation, which I will define as anyone who had access to net porn as a teenager (from the late 80s to now), is the same generation that's had to wear condoms every single time they've had sex. This article mentions the writer losing steam only when it's condom time. I hate to say it, but I think that's an important factor to all this. We women always put down and ignore men's complaints about condoms. But I believe them. It's such a consistent complaint, I've found, even among men who never say anything about it. I've been with men who never say anything about it, but when I bring it up, they tell me they never said anything because they didn't want to be "that guy" who tries to pressure a partner to have sex without a condom, even subtle pressure. The "good" men just try to deal with condom problems themselves and not share that burden with their partners. With porn and masturbation, men can touch themselves to ejaculation without condoms and without all the attendant worries about pregnancy and STI's. They get to feel flesh on flesh. I'm not blind. I've noticed that a lot of my partners lose erection sometimes with condom usage, but get right back up when they can feel my flesh (hands, boobs, mouth, anything). So I wonder if any porn-related loss of libido is really more about condom-related loss of libido. I suggest that every woman try a female condom. Because I really didn't get (deeply) men's condom issues until I fumbled with putting plastic over MY genitalia. THEN it was like OH THIS is what guys on online forums are always complaining about. At least with female condoms the clit is still accessible, whereas men's "clits" (head of the penis) is completely wrapped in numbing plastic.
^Amen, unfortunately, and the effect it has on a girl's self-esteem is terrible. I just continue on, like the roll of the dice. "Maybe this time it'll stay up, maybe next time it won't," I think to myself. It has gotten a lot better, but I also took to masturbating with a condom on occasion. As for the article, 'over-masturbation' sounds like an excuse for having a simple problem that has existed for centuries - delayed ejaculation. Surely, men have struggled to ejaculate from sexual intercourse. It certainly sounds like a biological 'problem' that wouldn't be vastly affected by how often you touch yourself. Then there's the guys who blame porn for not paying attention to their significant others. I've never had that problem. If porn "dates" are driving you away from your girlfriend, how hard is it to stop watching that much porn? If anything, porn has always driven my imagination and libido. I've definitely taken cues from watching porn. After watching a lesbian porn film, which I usually didn't before, I found myself enjoying foreplay more, instead of 'going through the motions', so I actually have to thank porn. Finally, the argument that girls are copying porn stars or 'out-fucking' them seems to be the most believable. Yes, girls have gotten more vocal in my experience. But then again, Jenna Haze is one my favorite porn stars of all time because of her dirty talk and I do tell girls to talk dirty. Don't overdo it, but again, learning from porn doesn't sound like such a bad thing. "Those couple of sites before I got to bed" do not sound like the porn I watch though. "X videos and Spank Wire" are low-quality tube sites filled with authorized 2 and 3-minute clips and stolen footage. How do you even get off to that? I don't jack off to Brazzers trailers, I watch the fucking scene. My guess is that we're hearing from a bunch of secondary viewers and then good, they're watching shitty, possibly bootlegged porn for free and they think it's ruining their libidos. I'm not that surprised. We could have told them that "you're doing it wrong" long ago.
I don't know if it's the porn as much as the masturbation. I do believe a man should save up his juice in order to feed me a nice healthy faceful of cum.
Yeah, it's definitely more the masturbation and I can see how guys masturbate to these crappy videos on tube sites. Not all the videos are two minutes long and the search function seems useful enough. I still have to say that I think it's a self-control issue. If you think porn and masturbating's fucking with your libido, stop. It's not that hard. I plan to scale back porn viewing significantly when I have family. I don't think it will be difficult.
Anyone who says condoms don't kill at LEAST 50% of the physical pleasure of sex are: A) Not a guy B) Never had sex or C) A liar That being said, I use them, but to claim that they dont affect the man negatively is an outright lie.
Ok, is porn affecting a men's real life libido? Maybe. Now we are talking about a man's libido. Not just what sexually turns him on. For me there is a lot more than sex that turns me on. The woman I am with has to be on the same field I am. Anything other than that is a turn off. For example... If I know a girl is looking for a guy to be her child's father, I am TOTALLY turned off. And that seems to be the jist of single guy dating, package deal. Fuck that. I got nothing against a woman with kids, But I need to know she is on the same playing field in a greater sense. And women will attempt to say they are on the same playing field and do whatever you want to get her, have her, good luck to ya, let me know how it works. I sound a bit sexist with this post, and this is where I go with the whole do it for you mentality. WTF is up with people saying or doing one thing with alterier motives.
No. If I'm into a girl I lust after her no matter how much good porn I've seen and gotten off to. Nor do porn and the women in it make me only want the artificial bimbo stereotype. Porn has introduced me to women of all races and shapes that I would never have seen naked/having sex if it wasn't for porn. It has expanded my tastes and preferences. The guy's problem in that article is in his head. He's probably bummed out and depressed and unable to take control of his life. Any guy younger than 50 (I'm guesstimating here) will be able to get it up for a girl he's into even if he has cum several times that day. And if not, its more likely to be the "common" stage fright problem rather than anything caused by porn. I'm not buying it, all the conclusions seem to be pulled out of his ass to fit the agenda. Edited by - JohnW on 2/25/2011 6:14:21 PM
I agree with some of this, and disagree with some. I don't think porn hurts my libido, I think it keeps me from raping people. What are you supposed to do when you aren't getting laid? Jerk off of course. Despite bustdowngal's exciting enthusiasm, I don't have a female handy to serve a good dicking to. So porn is what keeps my sanity in check. Condoms are the worst thing about sex. You have to have one or risk pregnancy, but they take away so much of the sensation. I'd rather just eat her out and give myself the old hand treatment. So I say condom's hurt men's libido more than porn.
Im 27 and I think it has defintly hurt my libido,I think its because I started watching porn at 12 but didnt have sex until. 18 my libido was fine until 21. In porn,Im in complete control,I can find any sex act,and any sexual scenario with in minutes,in real life, im not in control I cant make girls model for me flash their ass and tits before sex give me oral,vaginal, anal sex in any position I want on command,and call them dirty filthy names In real life sex is more intimate and mutual,you have to consider the girls feeling and request especially if you dont know them,Ive had some good sex with regular girls,but I have always had delayed ejaculation. but the only time I have great sex is when I pay girls to make videos with me or when I watch porn. I have found weight lifting pills nitric oxide fixes my libido for the most part but the sensation is not what it should be. Im going to try not watching porn for 2 months and then try regular sex,but gotta shoot some personal flicks to get off one last time then return to the regular dating.
I personally prefer masturbation to sex with a condom. I probably would have had quite a few more partners if it weren't for that simple fact. I've been lucky enough to have a couple LTRs with women on birth control who didn't like condoms either. As far as women emulating porn stars, I'm all for it! I'll take one dirty woman over two hot ones any day....
I didn't read a goddamn word of anything that preceded what I'm about to say, but on the topic of porn affecting my real-life libido, I'd just like to utter a vehement "fuck you" and go on about my lusty, passionate, ultimately more fulfilling than any mortal deserves life. And enjoy it.
tbetts, I would suggest in the time you save taking a porn break, also examine your philosophies around sex. Ask yourself the hard questions about why you like what you like. What would you lose or gain if you changed what you liked during sex.
Bustdown Gal is right about condoms. With one on I can forget about vaginal intercourse. Blowjob or take it off and take care of myself. Edited by - charn on 3/21/2011 9:41:53 PM
I hope you don't really feel that porn stops you from raping people. Seriously. There is nothing wrong with jerking off, this is a little joke I have that I usually keep to myself, but I can generally jerk off and have a better orgasm than fucking somebody. I am happy rubbing one off and doing other stuff rather than spending my time cuddling and (hands, watching tv in a peaceful bliss. I have so many projects going on right now, it is going to take me years to complete them. I am building a kick ass rock garden that only gives me pleasure to look at (most people would say..ok, those are rocks), I have a camper project that baffles my mind and I post on here to distract myself from it because it is too much work, I have perfected the perfect chocolate martini that has taken years, a lot of trial and error, but the finished product is superb!! The act of rape is violent, plain and simple. Porn does not suppress violent tendencies nor does porn fuel violence.
Well, I'm not the other guy but I would put it this way (And I think maybe this is along the lines of what he meant)... I don't think porn keeps me from raping people but then again, I'm not the type that would rape someone for any reason. What I do think that porn does (over a broad range of people, particularly men) is that it serves as a pressure relief valve that releases the pressure that builds up in people and might drive some people to do any number of things. Now. If we didn't have porn, what I think would normally happen would be that some people might deal with that pressure in healthy ways, like working on their lawn, building model airplanes or whatever. Other people might just keep it bottled up inside thinking it'll go away on it's own. And then there would be some people who had violent tendencies in the first place. Not necessarily the tendency to rape but just the tendency to fly off the handle easily. These are not the kind of people I would want having any kind of pressure building up inside them. I completely believe those kind of people have raped without actually planning to. And everyone knows that type has murdered people without actually planning it. They're typically just in some random social situation (like a date) and they get rejected or someone says or does something that sets them off and there's no telling what might happen. I think all three types benefit from masturbation. And I think everyone should masturbate. Even if they're married or have a BF/GF. No matter how open, honest and accepting a person's partner is, a person can always benefit from masturbation. It's a completely different experience from having sex with someone else. And everything else aside, it gives you the time and opportunity to learn more about yourself and what does it for you without having to worry about having an audience. Now. I've said this before on this forum and I'll say it again. I think all types of violent crime do go down when you have more people spending more of their free time sitting in front of their computers (or TVs) jerking off. It has to. They simply have less time to be out wandering around looking for something to get into. Generally, men who are trying to get laid end up in places like bars. Once they're there, they tend to start drinking. From there, it can go just about anywhere. The guy who's sitting at home beating his meat is 100% harmless. He's not even going to get into a fistfight. Much less rape someone. There will obviously still be rapes but I wouldn't be surprised if porn has prevented some men from raping in a roundabout way. Edited by - randomprecision on 3/22/2011 8:38:08 PM
[Link]
David Cop-a-feel Deactivated User
Trust me, honey, it gets better 323 Posts 10/10
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 9:04PM
Well, this Danish academic charted the effects of porn from it legalisation in 1969 in Denmark to the eighties: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berl_Kutchinsky
