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All Forums > Sex Talk > Sex Talk Forum Page 16 > Men that are virgins past a certain age.
AuthorPost
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 14 2012 : 3:46PM
Hi. This is my second post, and I felt like I wanted to go ahead and make this thread.
I was curious Ladies. Is it a turn off for a guy to be a virgin past a certain age? Say past 25?
I say this as a 29 year old virgin that isn't so swift with females.
This isn't a woe is me thing, i'm just curious.
Edited by - glow99 on Sep 14 2012
SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11
Posted - Sep 14 2012 : 5:45PM
Well some women may not like the idea of being the one that has to teach you everything. But then again some women kind of have a fetish for inexperienced or virgin men.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 14 2012 : 7:04PM
I would without a doubt like to meet a woman that is really into teaching a guy.
One worry I have is a woman just freaking out when and if I tell her i'm a virgin.
Rubberhole
Deactivated User

256 Posts
2/10
Posted - Sep 15 2012 : 7:24AM
Depending on the woman and your relationshipm with her, just don't say anything. Just do what comes naturally. You will either sink or swim, then take it from there.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 15 2012 : 8:13AM
Are you saying don't tell her? I don't think I could do that.
I'd want the woman to know, atleast right before the sex that i've never had it before. Otherwise, the expectations will probably be too high for someone who's never had sex before.
That and it might be noticable beforehand since sex isn't the only thing I haven't done before. I haven't done anything sexual with anyone. So the chances of me coming off as inexperienced in other areas is probably high.
 
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Sep 15 2012 : 10:35AM
Expectations. Shmexceptions. And don't make a big deal of not being downtown yet.
There was a great topic last year here on this, I think you should read the whole thing starting with Cody's advice:
For a Virgin male: How should I start?
And the whole thing wraps up with another guy writing, "You simply start by inserting your penis into her vagina. Don't worry about being the ulimate dick slammer."
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 15 2012 : 11:24AM
I saw the guys post.
If by easy, he meant having sex, then I agree that it shouldn't be super complicated. But if he's talking about easy to get, then I disagree very much so.
It can be rather difficult for some of us oddballs to get.
jayo All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

2117 Posts
7/04
Posted - Sep 16 2012 : 8:39PM
That's like asking if women like pineapple juice. Some do, some don't. You can't make sweeping generalizations--people are too diverse.
After a certain age most people expect one to be experienced because most people are. Whether it's a deal-breaker or not depends on the person. Find someone who likes you for who you are, and she should be willing to help you through the learning process as you get up to speed, and reap the rewards (she can teach you how she likes it, instead of how someone else liked it).
If a woman doesn't want to do that, she's not for you. Toss her back and find one who does.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 17 2012 : 8:35AM
The whole finding someone who likes me for me seems to be a problem. Hence the whole, i'm 29 and never had sex or anyting with a woman.
I don't even ever remember getting a fucking hug from a female that wasn't in my family.
It's just the idea that some may not like it that makes me rather nervous.
The last thing i'd want is a woman to think i'm some freak, then run and tell everyone that she and or I know that i'm a dork that can't get laid.
I don't think I could ever leave my house if that happened.
ass_clown
Member

42 Posts
5/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 1:49AM
Yeah I'm in the no camp. depending on how old you are a woman dont wanna know that. At 29 ? I would keep mouth shut and penis hard
Also lose the "hence" and the "rather"
Edited by - Ass_Clown on 9/18/2012 1:52:05 AM
Hardware All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

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14595 Posts
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Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 2:54AM
Do you like yourself? If you don't then you definitely need to fix that before expecting anybody else to like you. Now, there are some generally accepted social practices you need to engage in, like bathing, grooming, dressing appropriately and being able to hold a conversation, but you don't need to be Superman in order to be likeable.
Second, nervous is bad. Nervous indicates a lack of confidence, and that, my friend, is a killer. You don't have to be confident that you'll be great in bed. What you have to be confident about is your ability to master whatever you set your mind to. If you're not confident of that ability then get out there and do new stuff until you are. Then you'll be confident that you'll learn how to make love to the woman you're with soon enough.
Take note of the previous sentence, because it is important. You'll be making love to an individual woman, who'll have her own preferences. Your job is to learn them, which means that you have to stay engaged with your partner, rather than fixating on some mental checklist.
As for being a virgin, don't worry about it. Everybody started out a virgin. If you're with the right woman then it won't be a problem. Just tell her you take directions well.
PS - There's nothing wrong with using 'hence' and 'rather'. If you start trying to change in order to please other people there will be no end to it. You only need to change in order to please yourself.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:12PM
Never tell them?
Then how would I explain possibly cumming in 30 seconds, or not being able to cum because i've never experienced a vagina before?
That isn't gonna make them come back for more.
lukkki
Member

140 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:17PM
I'm 30 and I'm a virgin too...
I have no luck with women but I do not worry this reason:)
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:19PM
I guess i'm ok with myself.
I here people say that about liking yourself. But I think that it is what it is.
I do bath and groom. Tho I am a rather terrible at conversation, since I never know what to say.
To be honest, I find it hard to have confidence when you've never been given any reason to have it, by anyone.
And i'm always nervous, I don't think I could ever change that.
I know my job is the learn them, but of course they have to show me. I wouldn't want to have a woman who expects a man to know what she wants without telling me.
lukkki
Member

140 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:23PM
PS.
I'm waiting for the one of my dreams:)
 
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:25PM
Why on earth would you not worry?
lukkki
Member

140 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:30PM
Man, 29 years is not so bad...
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 3:53PM
29 isn't so bad?
It is IMO. Espically when you've been masturbating since you were 10.
Sure, jerking it is fun, but i'd rather do something sexual with another person.
Edited by - glow99 on 9/18/2012 3:54:15 PM
lukkki
Member

140 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 4:06PM
He he:) You are right, masturbation is not the same as sex with woman:)
This is the right age to start sexual initiation (Each age is a good)


BTW. Next topic: Double vaginal:)

Hardware All-Star Supporter
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Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 6:28PM
OK, stop right there. Confidence isn't something you're given, confidence is something that you develop on your own. People can coach you but they can't do it for you. So, listen to coach:
Can you stand up? You couldn't when you were a baby. You fell down; you fell down again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until you finally stood up. Finally! Whew!
Do you remember all those failures? No, you don't. Why don't you? Because they faded into insignificance the instant you succeeded, that's why. Are you confident that you can stand up now? Okay, then. Accept that you can't get to success without having some failures along the way, and keep your eyes on the prize. Believe me, it feels a whole lot better knowing that you earned it.
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 6:29PM
And each age is possible!
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 6:49PM
I get that it isn't given, but it sure can be encouraged.
Kinda like how good you feel when someone says you did a good job doing something. It makes you proud and does give you a boost, even if it's just momentary.
I guess I don't have any confidence at all, and have never felt like I have.
I'd love to be called good looking, or even cute. But I have to admit that I usualy feel like crap when it comes to the opposite sex. If you've never had anyone express any interest in you, how can you feel confident that anyone would want you?
Edited by - glow99 on 9/18/2012 6:53:34 PM
Hardware All-Star Supporter
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Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 7:56PM
You say that, but do you feel proud if somebody you despise says you did a good job? I don't think so. Why do you suppose that is? (That's a rhetorical question, son)
I guess I don't have any confidence at all, and have never felt like I have.
Sigh, didn't I just point out to you that you've got lots of confidence? You're confident you can walk. You're confident you can put your clothes on without help from your mommy. What you're asking for is confidence in your expertise at something you've never done. Well, hello? That's just stupid, so stop it. Be confident that you'll figure it out. Be confident that you'll do okay.
I'd love to be called good looking, or even cute.
No! No, no, no, no, no! You want to be attractive. BIG difference - you are attractive because of who you are on the inside, not what you look like (okay, grooming and good clothes can't hurt). Go for cute and you'll be in the trash can by the time you hit middle age.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 18 2012 : 8:08PM
I wouldn't have a problem with someone I didn't like prasing me, unless of course it was just an insult. Tho it wouldn't have that same good feeling tho.
Those things you mention come naturally. Unless of course there is a physical problem.
I just don't feel encouraged that i'd ever have a shot.
I do know that the inside counts the most, but don't we all want to feel like someone is physically attracted to us? I feel that is natural.
And what is wrong with cute?
Hardware All-Star Supporter
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Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 12:39AM
Um, yeah, that's what I said. It doesn't mean anything if you don't respect who it is coming from. The point being that it is a two-way street.
Those things you mention come naturally. Unless of course there is a physical problem.
You wouldn't say that if you ever saw a young child trying to put his clothes on by himself. The amount of learned behavior humans have down pat is really pretty amazing.
I just don't feel encouraged that i'd ever have a shot.
Okay... How about this - turn off the television and stop going to movies that only have beautiful people in them. Go down to the mall and look at people. I mean really look at them. There's not a lot of beauty out there, but there sure are a lot of couples.
If all those average and not-so average guys can attract a female then why can't you? Answer - because they've got their heads on straight. Why don't you join them?
 
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 11:50AM
There could be tons of reasons as to why they are together.
Maybe he's very charismatic? Great speaker? Tons of money? Massive penis?
I have none of these things.
If he has a few of those things, he could have a vagina on his head and he'd probably get a bunch of chicks.
Besides those things i'm lacking, I still have quite a bit of trouble with rejection. I really do, as bad as it sounds for a grown man to say this, have a rather big fear of being embarresed infront of people.
I get anxious even thinking about looking stupid infront of strange people.
Edited by - glow99 on 9/19/2012 11:52:51 AM
Hardware All-Star Supporter
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Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 12:30PM
Celebration!
If there are tons of reasons why women get with men then that greatly expands your own possibilities for success. All it takes is for you to screw up your courage and, like that baby you were not so long ago, keep trying until you succeed.
As for your fear of rejection, nobody said you have to jump off the deep end, so take some of the pressure off yourself. Go to places where you can socialize with women without being on a date, or on the make - church might do it. Volunteer somewhere that you'll be interacting with women on a regular basis. Stop thinking you're hunting for sex, or a mate, and just get comfortable with talking to and interacting with women. Put yourself in a position where things can develop naturally, rather than where you feel you have to go all in from the beginning.
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 7:30PM
It's kinda hard to not associate it all with sex and a relashionship when someone has never had either and wants atleast one in their lifetime.
It makes me feel like i've been left out of society in general.
Jonny Jay All-Star Supporter
Outlier Moderator

5990 Posts
8/09
Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 7:54PM
Where's matchmakers input?
Hardware All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

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14595 Posts
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Posted - Sep 19 2012 : 8:36PM
Dude, you haven't been left out, you refuse to jump in. Get your head on straight. Just because it might not be easy doesn't mean it will be impossible. Do you really think the rest of us just awoke one morning as God's gift to women? Pfft; not. We stumbled and we bumbled, but we persevered.
The first thing you should do is look yourself in the mirror and make a promise to stop looking for excuses. The second thing you should do is consider what activities you like that you could share with a female (besides sex). In other words, how can you put yourself in a situation where you can interact with women without all the pressure of trying to score?
Then, go do that. Again, stop trying to pick up a sex object and just get acquainted with a bunch of women. Given the opportunity, nature will take its course.
matchmaker
Senior Member

24910 Posts
4/05
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 4:12AM
I don't have any input.
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 4:47AM
Meaning you haven't put your dick into any living vagina yet?
Edited by - joey starr on 9/20/2012 4:48:03 AM
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 1:17PM
It's not like i've never tried, it's just that I haven't found anyone willing. Not just for sex, but for anything.
I really don't go out and partake in any activities.
That usually takes money, and I don't have it.
I'm more of a home body. I don't care to go out and party and go to clubs or bars. That's not my thing.

Edited by - glow99 on 9/20/2012 1:20:28 PM

Hardware All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

Your other left
14595 Posts
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Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 2:52PM
Do you live with your parents? Who pays for your groceries? Who pays for the internet connection that you're using right now to read this sentence?
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 20 2012 : 5:28PM
I live with my dad right now. Tho in this economy, i'm not the only one.
 
matchmaker
Senior Member

24910 Posts
4/05
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 2:17AM
Do you mean you book male or female escorts?
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 2:36AM
She's not a virgin like you what's the point?
glow99
Member

35 Posts
9/12
Posted - Sep 21 2012 : 6:23PM
The only hobbies I generally have are watching TV and jerking off.
Don't think there are too many meetings for those.
Tho I have joined forums, but that was for sports. And those are giant sausage fests.
And I don't have the money for an escort.
That and i'd be worried I would get arrested for that.
jayo All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

2117 Posts
7/04
Posted - Sep 23 2012 : 7:28PM
This is it. This is The Final Word. Anything else on this subject is redundant, irrelevant, time-wasting horseshit.
The Official Adult DVD Talk Adult Male Virginity Flowchart
1. Do you *really* want to lose your virginity?
Yes - go to 2
No - go to 99
2. Do you want to lose your virginity in a loving, long term relationship (i.e. making love) or just get laid?
Loving, long term relationship - go to 6
Just get laid - go to 3

3. Are you willing to spend to spend the money for a professional?
Yes/Maybe - go to 4
No - go to 5
4. Go some place where prostitution is legal (Las Vegas, Amsterdam, etc.) and get the best you can afford.
I can't afford one of those places. Go to 4a.
I'm afraid of catching a disease. Go to 4c.
I'm afraid I'll knock her up. Go to 4d.
4a. I can't afford to go to one of those places.
Call a call-girl service
Go to a "massage" parlor (you may have to go to several to find out which offer the services you want)
Consult an an internet site that offers these kinds of "services"
Go to 4b.
4b. I don't know which services to trust or which are good.
If you don't know anyone to ask, you're just going to have to take a chance. Or ask on ADT, someone may know someone or a service in your area that they can recommend
4c. Be smart about it. If you go to a place where prostitution is legal and controlled (i.e. a Nevada brothel), the girls are periodically checked, they require safe sex practices, and if you follow those practices, you're about as safe as you can reasonably expect to be. If you're turbo-paranoid about catching HIV, Herpes, or something else that's incurable, then you shouldn't consider having sex at all. What about with a non-professional? What if she lies to you? What if she's infected and doesn't know it herself? You take a risk getting out of bed in the morning. Be smart about it.
I still don't want to take the chance. - go to 99.
4d. Pregancies are the "pro's" problem, because part of the implied contract for the service is that it's recreational sex only. If you're turbo paranoid that you're going to get a phone call some day from someone saying he or she's your love child, then see the latter comments of 4d.
I still don't want to take the chance. - go to 99.
5. Hang out in bars and try to pick someone up.
Those women aren't very attractive - go to 5a
I don't want to risk rejection from bar flies - 5b
5a. - If you just want to get laid, and you don't want to spend the money, you're going to have to lower your standards. You don't have to lay Rosie O'Donnell--if you make the effort, you should be able to find someone acceptable.
I don't want to make the effort - go to 99.
5b. Try the personals ads on Craigs list or other internet sites. Women are horny too (even if it doesn't seem that way)
I don't want to spend the effort - go to 99.
6. Meet women. This is not rocket science. People have managed to do this for millenia. You can too. The more women you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you like and who likes you in return. It's like digging in a gold mine: if you sift through enough dirt, you'll find a nugget sooner or later.
I don't know where to go. Go to 6a
I don't want to make the effort - go to 6b
6a. Go where the women are. Figure out what kind of woman you like and try fishing there. Women often like to dance and many men don't; take dance lessons. Women often take arts and crafts classes--learn to paint, learn to play a musical instrument, learn something. Want someone athletic? Join a league. Want someone brainy? Join Mensa or a chess club, etc. Want someone sweet natured? Volunteer at a charity--animal charties, library bookstores, you name it.
6b. Bug your friends to set you up with their friends. Some friends may try to set you up, but many will just let you alone unless you ask. Hound them if you have to. If your male friends won't help, their wives or girlfriends usually will.
I still don't want to do it. Go to 99
99. Whine about being a virgin on ADT
Edited by - jayo on 9/23/2012 7:34:57 PM
His Dudeness
All Business

Shut the fuck up, Donny!!
2793 Posts
4/10
Posted - Sep 23 2012 : 10:20PM
Every girl I fuck thinks I'm a virgin
Joey Starr
Senior Member

Still wanking after all these years.
8082 Posts
10/00
Posted - Sep 24 2012 : 2:24AM
Strapon stuff? Good move, that way they are gentler.
The_A_Man
Member

12 Posts
5/12
Posted - Sep 24 2012 : 11:03AM
^^ Because you're really bad at it?
His Dudeness
All Business

Shut the fuck up, Donny!!
2793 Posts
4/10
Posted - Sep 24 2012 : 11:19AM
So they'll fuck me quicker. Girls like feeling special.
All Forums > Sex Talk > Sex Talk Forum Page 16Men that are virgins past a certain age.

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