Welcome to the forum.

I would suggest experimentation. Try a lot of different things with a partner that might help.

If you like foreplay and the build-up, then insist on getting it. Too often a 'wham bam thank you ma'am' doesn't do it. Yeah, the guy might get off, but you're left hanging.

DenverDon

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Masturbation is the best way to find a variety of techniques that work for you, and Betty Dodson is the foremost authority on female masturbation. There's a worthwhile interview of her here.

She has two books that might interest you - Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving, and Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex.

I haven't seen Barbara Keesling's book Discover Your Sexual Potential: A Woman's Guide to Guaranteed Satisfaction, but I have several books of hers and respect her as an author.

Amazon.com has a few pages of books on female orgasms. Make sure you read the customer reviews.

It's hard to know what to advise without knowing what your sexual experience is, but it's generally easier for a woman to control her orgasm if she is on top, and if the couple is grinding, rather than thrusting.

Feel free to email me.

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I've been with women who could never orgasm at all, and women who could orgasm regularly from just vaginal sex. Most women are somewhere in between, my wife included. It boils down to arousal and technique. You know what works for you when you are alone. As far as technique with a partner, that takes time and practice. One thing is for sure. If you are expecting the man to take charge, direct all the action, and be responsible for your orgasm, it probably won't work. Pile driver type in-out isn't going to give you the stimulation you need to reach the big O. Yeah, it feels good and makes you moan, but if it's not hitting your G spot and/or clit, you won't get there.

For missionary style man on top, having him do a slower, close contact grind with the hips (think dry humping) can provide the right kind of stimulation. A counterpoint you grind up as he grinds down works the best for us. Or circular, or side to side.

Take charge. Have him lie on his back and you ride him cowgirl on your knees. You have control, so just take it from him. He can use his hands to stimulate you wherever you want Break out the lube and have him do your clit with his thumb. Do your own clit (no, that's not cheating, just taking charge of your own orgasm). He will like the eye candy (grin, grin).

Masturbate together. Help each other masturbate. Talk dirty to each other. Break out the toys. Is he any good with his tongue? If not teach him. Have him go down on you and tell him what you like. A two finger assist works well. If you trust him not to get his fingers mixed up, have him use a third fingertip (lube please) for a bit of anal stimulation.

When all else fails, lie on your back with your knees up. He lies on his side at a right angle to enter you. Lube up, use your finger or a vibrator to do your clit. Don't get goal oriented. Relax, close your eyes, and play out a fantasy in your mind. If you are comfortable with it, share a fantasy with him, or have him share one with you.

For more fun ideas read 'Home at the Movies' here.

And for those of you who have been following my other post, yes I did get my cream pie (another 4AM half drunk and horny session).

Grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Edited by - RobHammer on 4/11/2003 2:32:36 PM

Edited by - RobHammer on 4/11/2003 2:34:25 PM

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Another one that works for me is him on top, and grinding. I like the weight on my pubic area.

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I personally believe the first stage is for your partner to learn to bring you to orgasm using oral and digital stimulation. Not only will this give your partner much more of an idea of what kind of pressure/movement/rate stimulates you at different stages of arousal but will also highlight if perhaps there is also an issue of whether you find it harder to 'let go' in front of someone else. If the latter is a factor then masturbating in front of him, or handing him your favourite toy to aid his attempts, might be good things to try.

Certainly trying to achieve orgasm (for her) during penetrative lovemaking is an order of magnitude harder for many couples.

I've pretty much given up on giving my gf an unaided orgasm during penetration. Instead, I use a really small vibe, a little metal bullet just like this bullet vibe, which turns the chance of her orgasming during penetration from a tiresome unpredictable slog to a straightforward near certainty.

SNP.

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I have seen statistics (however reliable) that only 30% of women have unaided orgasms during penetrative sex. I guess I might have to start believing that.

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BTW, I do sometimes pop it in one of her holes, usually during penetration of the other, for my own benefit. I'm sure you can imagine, for a fella, the simultaneous stimulation of penetrative sex and the vibration of the bullet is first rate.

SNP.

Edited by - Sir Noel Plum on 4/11/2003 3:28:29 PM

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Edited by - lindi on 4/11/2003 9:07:53 PM

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