Like most things in life, it's all about striking a balance.
Speaking personally, I've always found porn consumption stimulating, both on my own and with female partners.
That said however, it's easy to lose perspective sometimes and there have been occasions when I've "OD'd" on smut to such an extent that I've found fucking a woman to be actually LESS stimulating and exciting than wanking off to a porn movie!! That's the point when the alarm bells start to ring and when I take a break from porn, with the result that after a few days, all it takes to get an instant stiffie again is the feel of a smooth, soft female form up against me - rather than my own hand round my todger!!
Too much of a good thing CAN be unhealthy - it's all about knowing when and where to draw the line and take a step back.
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PornBoy Deactivated User
642 Posts 2/00
Posted - Jan 26 2004 : 1:38PM
I think porn can give people unrealistic expectations about sex. I think porn can create social deviants. I think that some porn is degrading such as rough sex and gagging but that is just my personal opinion. Alcohol can create social deviants, violence in media can create social deviants, supposedly "Catcher In The Rye" created a couple of social deviants, and religion can definitely cause social deviants. Also, people that need to "spice up their sex lives" have deeper problems than their sex lives.
Yes. I think some people intentionally use porn as a buffer to keep a barrier between themselves and a possible real relationship. Those people should be left alone, a real relationship frightens them and why should they have to have one anyway? There are others who think they would like a real relationship but their porn viewing habits have led them to act like morons, both socially and sexually. They aren't going to find what they're looking for, and they're going to blame it on others. I suppose those folks should be rescued and given some sort of socialization therapy, but really, why bother? Their unhappiness is their own doing.It may be valid for some people who already have sexual partners to experiment with. It may be valid for some who have very little experience and a very unimaginative mind. I don't think it "spices up" much for the single male viewer - it just lends a fantasy crutch for his masturbation.Couples are often busy people. Women, more so than men, stop having sexual fantasies as frequently and it often leads to lack of sexual interest. A ready-made fantasy that can be popped into the DVD player can help to jump-start a sexual interlude, and reintroduce the idea of sexual fantasy into the relationship. Anyone who has never thought of "that" on their own can play with both the idea and the experience.Anyone who thinks what they see in movies is real. Any movies, but porn especially (in this context). The consequences are fairly obvious - no reality check! Anyone who thinks their fantasy world is the real world is a menace. They'll harm themselves and others by trying to make the world fit their fantasy assumptions.
I use porn to get off. Healthy? Probably not so much. But I can't call it unhealthy either. I don't view porn as a hinderance to real people/real relationships. Because I've had more than a few opportunities, but wasn't all that interested in a relationship.
I know I could walk into a club, such as some local ones, Cowboys or Wild Bills, and walk out with a woman, or two, and give them a good fucking, as well as recieve one. But that's not my priority, plus, I am teriffied of disease, even from people I know, or could get to know... Poor excuse? Probably, since there are products out there that are 99.9% effective, but I don't know who's packing disease or not, and my luck, I'd be the .1 to catch something.
You gonna pull them pistols or whistle dixie? 238 Posts 12/03
Posted - Jan 27 2004 : 12:02AM
It could be healthy...I've heard that men who ejaculate frequently experience less prostate cancer. Haven't researched it because if I find out different, I lose my logical justification for whacking every night before sleep.
I think ALL OF THE ABOVE is true to some extent. But I wanna tell you porn has taught me how to be a much better lover. For instance: watching the way guys (and girls) give girls head and how you can push for a longer orgasm from your lover.
In its own crude way, it shows how to stretch your foreplay until your partner is really hot. Tricks like paying more attention to those nipples, twisting and turning and watching how they respond. And giving each pussy lip the attention it deserves. And the G-spot technique of using two fingers curled way up inside.
I think it has taught many people how to get much more from this sexual play. My only wish is that women were less prejudice against the very thought of porn.
Too$hort, will you go into this in more detail. I read the book excerpt but it was not clear to me, in truth I may be blind here, where porn fit in. I certainly will consider reading this book.
I think porn is like all "adult" substances. It can be good or bad for you. Depends on you! It certainly fills a gap for me, oftentimes, but my desire for intimacy is much, much bigger than my desire for porn. But also my need for sexual stimulation and enjoyment is quite abundant, and really good porn increases the pleasure principle -- for me, anyway. Would I rather have a hot naked woman in bed? Absolutely! But, perhaps like BIGmike, I'm not always gonna take someone up on the opportunity because I can or because they want to. There's got to be a little more to it than that. Which isn't to say I won't go for the gusto from time to time: Even meeting someone for the first time in a bar or social situation, I can intuitively pick up on a vibe and follow it through. It's just complicated sometimes. Porn, at least enjoying it on a basic premise of "this is gonna get me off, bigtime!', is perfectly uncomplicated.
That said, I also really REALLY enjoy watching porn with a girlfriend -- or even women who are friends who aren't going to be anything else -- so it's not necessarily some solitary event. Though, mostly, it is. But it's surprising how quickly those situations can shift.
As someone already pointed out porn can give unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex. It portrays a far larger number of persons as being willing participants than would be in real life. The porn emphasis on gangbangs, anal sex, facial cumshots, etc hardly reflects real life sex. Yes I think porn, when it becomes a way of life, can be unhealthy. Then again, who am I to talk, hookers are a way of life for me.
I agree with all the others who feel that porn can give unrealistic expectations about sex. I'm sure that most people realize that porn is just fantasy and nothing more. But then there are those who can't have a normal sex life because of porn. Those people have some serious issues. I think the whole point of porn is to see sex acts that nobody would do in real life. The thing is to separate fantasy from reality.
Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99
Posted - Feb 8 2004 : 9:44AM
i don't exactly know how to explain this, but i think the biggest danger is the acceptance of a violent attitude towards women. i'm not talking about rough sex. i'm talking about not growing out of what seems an adolescent angst that often manifests in violent fantasies. the best examples i can think of are laid out in bukowski's books and especially john fante's the road to los angeles.
the adolescent guys in those boys blame women for their need to be with women and their inability to be with women. ok, typical adolescence. but it comes out in really violent fantasies. the porn that caters to those fantasies can be dangerous. it's an adult medium that almost says you don't have to grow out of that, that's how women should be treated.
while i liked fante's writing style i haven't read another of his books because of this.
You gonna pull them pistols or whistle dixie? 238 Posts 12/03
Posted - Feb 10 2004 : 12:43AM
Right on Steph. I don't like violence towards woman or the fantasy thereof either. Misogyny is not cool. In porno, I prefer to watch highly sexual woman who love cock and cum and can't get enough.
Attitude is the most important thing, even above looks. Let there be no mistake though, there is a limit to what's tolerable in the looks department.
I wish the performers would be on a more equal footage. Sure there are times when the two to four guys are giving the woman their full attention but the overall feeling is that the women are the whores and the guys are just your average Joes.
A good example was this live on the street tape from Tampa. The filmmakers hired some pros to mix with the lively crowd and show off a little more than the regular couples were. (In a case or two the couples out did the performers.) Anyway the end shows the fours guys giving the pro an oily massage and she says she is getting really hot and has to fuck something tonight. Well, I don't think fucking was part of the original deal they had paid for and they cut shooting soon after.
See I don't want the woman to be the "top", I want to see a hot sex scene. Maybe if the director would stop interrupting and just do a two camera shoot. If the guy cums early, show it and on with the taping.
I like cum drinking once in a while, but this cumface routine should come to an end.
I didn't even have access to porn, really, until the late 1980s when I was already 30. Usually, I had to go to one of those nasty theaters to see any. Which kind of limited my viewing. Used to visit some of those video booth joints back in Rochester, around then, too: Yucko!
I can say that I only became a steady porn viewer in the past several years, beginning with the apparent legalization of porn rentals in Atlanta, where I lived until four years ago. So for me, porn videos have -- generally speaking -- only been a part of my diet for the last 10 years.
