For those of you out there who have sex nonprofessionally, I've been wondering how closely some aspects of porn relate to "civilian" sex. Specifically, how common are things such as bare beavers, facials, swallowing, and anal? If you have a preference for any of them, how difficult is it to find a willing partner, and how do you do it -- I'm assuming you don't just ask a girl at a bar whether she enjoys the glazed-donut look at the end of the night, or whether she will take you up the butt. And, for your further rumination, how about the chicken-or-egg question: While I'm sure there are elements of both, do you think porn is influenced by what people do in the real world, or does porn lead the way in suggesting that certain activities might not be so bad after all? Just something I'm thinking about as I recharge from some videos earlier today.
Good questions. I hope there are lots of responses. My pet peeve regarding porn is that its has drifted away from the real. It has become a performance by actors. Evidenced by the names for the positions required in porn. When I say missionary or Doggy to my S.O. it does not mean the same as when a porn director ask the actors to assume the positions. Although in the last years it has regained some of the authenticity it had at the beginning of the big screen era. In light of the fact the economic downturn has had a positive effect. Can we still refer to it as beaver when it's bare? Thinking back over my sexual partners I can't think of one who would have wanted cum on her face. Works for me because I can't think of a reason I'd want to cum on any ones face.
I think if you're getting together with someone for the first time it's all part of the 'getting to know each other' process. When I started seeing my girlfriend she wasn't keen on anal at all, yet these days I get to fuck her butt practically every night. She's still not keen on facials though, but hey - you can't have everything!
Just another bare bum in the shiower 1739 Posts 12/04
Posted - Apr 19 2010 : 9:23AM
Bare beavers are definitely becoming more common in real life. Oral sex is always expected, with some swallowing if you get in quick enough. Some girls let you cum on their tits, but I generally find that is about it when it comes to external cumshots. No anal.
ALL girls I have been with 30 or under have a shaved pussy.I like it A LOT that way but I like pubic hair too.My GF has a shaved pussy but said if I want she will grow it out for me. I can give her facials,some roughish face fucking,light bondage,slap her with my cock,rim her pretty butthole,she does swallow,ETC She said we can have anal sex for my birthday but if it hurts too much that will be it for a LONG time and also she will pee on me on my birthday. (: OK now I'm horney ! Great thread BTW !
[Link]
Rubberhole Deactivated User
256 Posts 2/10
Posted - Apr 19 2010 : 11:19AM
Does life imitate art, or vice versa? As for bare beavers. I've been shaving pussies since the mid 70's...way before the trend. Never had a girlfriend refuse ( of course a good tongue lashing from me would follow my razor, so they were happy). As for facials, only had two women that were really into it. The other would tolerate it, so it wasn't a big deal for me. Anal depends on the woman. But its not really for me, so I don't seek it out. Of all the women I have been with, I would say about 1/4 swallowed. I don't know about the younger crowd nowadays, but I hear head is very commomplace, so swallowing may be also. As for sex acts and acceptance. Porn is much more popular and accessible now that when I was coming up. So I would think it does make sex acts more acceptable. Especially girl-on-girl sex, girls taking on more than one guy, maybe even this bi guy-girl-guy stuff, and trannies.
pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07
Posted - Apr 20 2010 : 4:31AM
I don't think most porn sex relates to real world sex in many ways, although porn can have a slow and gradual effect on sexual mores. I know that before Deep Throat oral sex was not commonly accepted, shaved pussies in the general population is clearly a direct result of the influence of porn (how many women are conscious of that is another question) and anal among younger people doesn't seem the rarity it use to be.
Please don't think that you can just stick your dick up her ass and call it a good time. The anal sphincter must be slowly reamed to anal. Start with one finger, "finger" her (no, don't keep the finger still) for a half hour or so. Do this nightly for three nights. Then graduate to two fingers (for 3-4 nights), then three fingers, then she will likely be able to take a five-inch dick for fucking. When you "finger' her, you need to gradually work up to a dick's length on the first night of each of 1, 2 and 3 fingers and also the first dick night. It won't hurt if you work up to anal sex in this manner. Be sure not to use a condom with spermicide on it for anal sex, either -- THAT HURTS! If you attempt to have anal without working up to it, THAT HURTS TOO! Happy fucking and I hope I helped with my advice.
I think I understand you to say that porn should be fake, every movie from every studio? When a girl cums it should be accidental? It would be so much easier if the director would just become small, minimal, let the scene find its own level. Stop the packaging. If the dick isn't visible to it full length on each stroke its OK we know where its buried. Here's a link to a thread regarding the lack of titsucking in porn. Adult DVD Talk Forum Post Edited by - ntfighter on 4/22/2010 10:05:37 PM
I really don't thingk that any of these practices follows porn but instead that it follows the habilts that are reported on and publicized by the mainstream media. I'm definately not one who follows the philosophy of "Bad behavior" i.e. violence, gratious sex, profanity, necessarily coming out of the current music, arts or entertainment but I will say that the more people feel that certain, non-threatening actions, sexual or otherwise, are mainstream, the more they will admit to openly engaging in them. Notice that I said admit. It doesn't take a great of deal of anthropological study to discover that what we view as current, "Edgy" sexual practices were around for humdreds or thousands of years. What was missing however was the acceptability of making such things public. This porn cannot take credit or blame for. BTW, pussy shaving?? It's like shaving of armpits and legs, it's a change in fashion mores. You do it in the shower when you shave everything else. No biggie
I will admit that some of the sex scenes in my movies from the '70s seems a little more natural, like stuff you'd actually do. But for the most part, porn sex isn't like real sex because the positions have to make room for the camera. That's what sticks out to me in a lot of porn - considering they're in the midst of the most intimate act people can share, the performers often seem like they're barely touching each other. Usually when you're having sex, you're not worried about whether or not your penetration is in the frame. Usually when I'm about to cum I get an urge to pull out and cum all over her, but I never have.
The positions don't HAVE to make room for the camera. It just seems like everybody films it this way because everybody else films it this way. This sort of asymmetrical sex is probably my biggest beef with contemporary porn. It destroys all illusion that you're watching people fucking for the sake of their own pleasure.
I got a chuckle from the mention of a girl at a bar. Can't pull out a questionaire there, she will run for her life unless she is buzzed seriously. I believe that porn in part opens options to society to expertiment. I do not think that people in there own bedrooms duplicate the porn to the tee. I have given facials, eaten the clit without being asked a refund for lost time and my girl does not shave. She is ok with porn, It does not mold our sex life. It just adds a degree of stimulation.
There are always a few that can do that. Most can't. I have never been fucked up the ass (I am a straight man), but I had to have a rectal exam once (some bleeding out that orifice) and was uncomfortable with just a doctor's finger in my butt. Doctors do that to check to rule out hemorrhoids when diagnosing cirrhosis of the liver.
"So Bill Clinton is a deconstructionist. He said. "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is. If the--if he--if 'is' means is and never has been, that is not--that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement....Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true." My head hurts.
Doesn't it also cause each scene, across studios and genre, to have a mechanical "sameness". I think when one views a scene where people are fucking in positions that are natural to the species it calls forth an innate sexual response from the old reptilian part of the brain.
Edited by - ntfighter on 4/26/2010 5:08:41 PM
[Link]
Girl Deactivated User
Porn is School 18 Posts 4/10
Posted - Apr 26 2010 : 2:51PM
I've always considered porn a mirror into the mind of a man. It's literally an illustrated text-book of what men REALLY want and secretly fantasize about daily. So when I'm into someone, I fuck like the filthiest of pornstars out there; it's all on the menu! There are some girls out there, who I think are so hot, that on occasion I catch myself subconsciously emulating them in bed.
this world needs like a LOT more women like you! U nudd tiy!
[Link]
Girl Deactivated User
Porn is School 18 Posts 4/10
Posted - Apr 26 2010 : 3:19PM
What does that mean?
[Link]
NewRomancer Deactivated User
under THEIR avatar 738 Posts 7/08
Posted - Apr 27 2010 : 11:46AM
The more time that passes, the more I come to realize that I'm not really a fan of porn, but I love to watch people fucking! Porn is fake, it's an act, it's contrived and mostly it's very poorly contrived People fucking is fucking hot!
Why aren't people like Ron Jeremy or other long time porn actors making extra cash producing "how to" lesson?. It's because they don't know any more about what causes a women to orgasm then a normal guy in a sexual relationship.
I don't know about guys making how-to tapes, but Nina Hartley and Tristan Taomorino are doing just that. Nina's tapes are released through Adam & Eve and Tristan's through Vivid Ed. Nina also has free advice including video at http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex-and-society/tuesdays-with-nina-intro-120891/
They are the exceptions that prove the rule. I wouldn't go to a baker to get advice about money. In the same sense I would not as a rule get sex education advice from an actor. Then again a sex actor may have gathered some knowledge from sheer volume. But the reality remains that no one on a porn set is actually interested in the actors being sexually aroused. Chemistry between the participants is only by the most fortunate of accidents. A random porn director; OK, in this scene I want you two to have some real sexual energy... You Viagra numbed stud, fuck as fast and hard as you possibly can, you cutest girl in your H.S class, I want you to scream really loud, camera guy go in tight on their dry unresponsive genitals. OK, position yourselves so I can see the entire penis on each stroke. OK, cut, come back in three hours and jerk off on her and it'sa wrap. Good job, the fan will buy it. LOL
I like what ms Lucy have said, agree with that, kinda more I like the chemistry first then moving forward [mod edit: Clearly you work for/with the site you keep linking to, so you have to be upfront about it, and not just post as if you're a fan. You should include that kind of info in your profile; and not every post should provide a link to your site. Please read the fourth paragraph of our ADT forum etiquette.] Edited by - killbillvol69 on 5/4/2010 10:51:55 PM
I think the purpose of most porn scenes is to show the leading lady as a real slut, who makes herself available to fuck with every guy. Because this way the lady makes the viewer feel welcome to join in the fun with her, instead of making the viewer feel jealous that she is having sex with some other guy. That's why you don't get a lot of 1 on 1 porn scenes that show the lady as the wife and her stud as her husband. Such a scene makes the lady seem exclusive and unavailable for the viewer. And this is a turn off for the viewer. But you do get a lot of porn scenes that show the lady have sex with a stranger at the drop of a hat, have sex with two or more guys at the same time, and have anal sex. Because all of these sex acts make the lady look uninhibited and available for every guy. Anal sex is often the dividing line that separates real ladies from real sluts. And one of the easiest ways to portray the leading lady as a real slut is to show her have anal sex with a guy. Of course, this is different from the way most sexual relationships work in real life. A lot of women don't watch porn. And porn doesn't influence their behavior. But a lot of men do watch porn. And watching porn probably increases the tolerance and the liking men have for real-life sluts. Many men who watch porn probably end up looking for slutty women to have relationships with. Watching porn probably makes men choose different kind of women for their relationships than they would've chosen otherwise. In a lot of conservative societies, men look down on sluts and even kill and abuse them in various ways. But in societies where porn is freely available, and a lot of men watch it, slutty women who sleep around are often popular among men. And these women often make a good living, instead of being ostracized and persecuted.
Let me just say that everything I've seen in porn (that I've wanted to do) I have done in real life and then some. Not to gross anyone out either but I've had cute chicks finger their asshole then suck their fingers, rimming, anal (almost all the time), facials (most object but some have), face spitting, and then some things I'd rather not mention. And the real icing on the cake is that the girls I've been with that have been the nastiest have been the ones you'd least expect. My favorite was stuffing a banana in a girls ass and then fucking her in the ass. I had two girls in the shower once and one girl took a water bottle filled with water, filled her ass with water and sprayed it on the other girl. And these are things that I can actually mention. But I don't want you all thinking I'm some freak. :-**
[Link]
george78 Deactivated User
60 Posts 1/11
Posted - Jan 4 2011 : 8:37PM
Real sex is much different than porn dvds. Porn doesn't give you the woman REALLY having an orgasm, having her breasts held, attention being given to HER like it should. I am 50-yrs old and have had sex with 38-women and having her cum in my mouth and me lap it up and swallow all of it is awesome! She swallows my cum too. We turned to German dvds and Girlfriends Films Lesbian as they more accurately portray real sex. Women DO know HOW to give pleasure to another woman 99% of the time and it shows in these dvds. Who else is sick of pron stars with HUGE cocks?? We are! We all have 5-7 inches and about 5.8" around and our women are VERY PLEASED. Oh, and NO we don't do every position which is flat out BORING. Who else feels this way?? Please give us your input. And where is the BEST place to buy German 18-year old boys with same young girls doing it naturally?? So far we have found Openerotik com is the best. INZEST and group sex with young and older is GREAT!!
Great thread, sorry I'm late to the party. I film real couples having real sex. It's porn, but different than what I call commercial porn. I always interview the couple before hand and so I have lots of real world data. I'll admit I work with a sample population that probably doesn't represent the general population because not everyone is willing to be filmed having sex. But generally, what you see in porn is common in the sex lives of many couples, but there are exceptions. Anal is rare, it happens, but MUCH less often than you see in commercial porn. The vast majority don't do it. They may have tried it, but those that like it are the exception (but some DO like it). Facials are rare too. Most won't do anal even if I offer them $$, but almost all will do a facial if asked. But they rarely do them otherwise. Almost all shave. I look for beavers and can rarely find them. I think porn has influenced that, but it's more a hygiene thing with most. Swallowing is probably closer to 50/50. It almost seems like a pride thing for some, and the vast majority of girls will swallow before they'll invite a facial. The positions you see in porn are all done regularly if the guy or girl enjoys them, and doggie is by far preferred by almost all the girls.
you all need some new women, lol. The first question my ex of a few years back asked me when we were about to have sex for the first time was "can I lick your ass?" I was like uh yeah...sure, go ahead.
Well I guess both you and Rollo (Iceberg Slim to Fred) got true game.
[Link]
george78 Deactivated User
60 Posts 1/11
Posted - Jan 6 2011 : 11:39PM
Who else is SICK of porn stars with fake boobs but WORSE YET the guys all having 10-12 inch cocks??? Who else?? Any suggestions for better dvds to watch??
[Link]
10000 days Deactivated User
Keep on trolling. What a bullshit! Im fucking unstoppable now ... 717 Posts 3/06
Just about every woman I've been with likes some kind of anal stimulation. Maybe not penetration, but the anus is full of nerve endings. Some manipulation is usually appreciated. Many woman with which I've been have trimmed or bald pussies. Asian woman usually have full bush or trimmed pussies, though a rare few will go bald. Since I'm not into facials nor exterior cumshots I cannot speak to to those. Swallowing, or rather, taking the cumshot then letting fall out of their mouth is pretty common. Personally, I don't care if a woman swallows; I just don't want them to let go while I'm coming. If they want to let it spill out out that's perfectly fine with me and quite common. The facial, the pull-out-come-on-pussy-stomach-breasts-ass-whatever is not really normal behavior in my experience. You either come inside their pussy or mouth or ass, or inside a condom. The only time I hear about facials or external cumshots is from people trying to replicate porn movies. Otherwise those just don't really happen in real life. The facial is just stupid to be honest, and completely outside the scope of normal sexual behaviour. essentially what I'm saying is that most pr0n does not reflect real life sex, not even real life sex with professionals. pr0n only reflects pr0n sex. Edited by - mich on 1/7/2011 1:59:29 AM
That may be your experience, but not the experience of many. Facials are less common in real sex, but not stupid and not outside normal behavior. Many couples I've worked with enjoy them. External cumshots are very common, particularly on the ass/back, stomach, tits (not the pussy). Many couples choose not to use other forms of birth control and find pull and pray to work very well. I haven't analyzed those data, but my sense is they're more common than internal, and the cleanup is part of the playful experience.
What I want out of sex is certainly influenced by the porn I watch. I want to give girls facials, fuck them in the ass and fuck girls significantly younger than me, taking a dominant role. When they allow me to do these things, I don't think it's because they've been influenced by porn, but something to do with our relationship. For example, I have had girlfriends who would only do anal in the context of a long-term relationship. I'm in my early 40's and I read evidence that says younger people's sexual behaviour is especially influenced by porn, because they've grown up with the internet. As I walk down the street I imagine and hope that all the cute 18 year olds I see have perfectly shaved pussies and do anal on a first date - women I know are more likey to be trimmed and sexually conservative!!
I'm really into kissing and lots of body contact, so porn doesn't really reflect sex as I experience it. That's probably why I've gravitated to vids from Girlfriends, Sweetheart, and Sweet Sinner. I'm not athletic and some of the positions required to shoot a porn scene look very uncomfortable for all concerned. I also second the comments about cock size.
. Some girls let you cum on their tits, but I generally find that is about it when it comes to external cumshots. No anal.
