sexually submissive women: why do you like it?

Author	Post
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:23PM Hi all, so I was wondering as a guy who's into rough sex (most of the time),when I say rough I don't mean BDSM or torture or abuse or anything like that shit they show on pornstar punishment ..etc I mean for example when a guy is hard pounding doggystyle then suddenly pulls the woman's hair,toss her around,pin her to the wall,grabbing her neck,maybe (sometimes) licking her face but that's really rare, Psychologically,I know how it would make me feel good I mean when I'm giving it to her doggy-style then I pull her hair tightly (not painfully) then give her deep intense thrusts and keep my dick in there for a while before I give her another thrust it makes me feel "I'm in control,I'm in charge,I'm the dominant,feel the intensity, I'm gonna keep rocking your world under my control till you go crazy and the most important part is that you know that!" and the overwhelmed look on their face is always worth it.The fact that she knows who's the man !Her knowing that makes me feel manly,masculine,confident,secure...etc and it lasts outside the bedroom. This is the detailed male view of point.Before everyone calls me a jerk or sexist or anything, I'm just being honest, now I asked before for a woman's point of view; some said it makes them feel wanted,others said they liked it as it is and don't think about why they like it,others said it's insulting to them and they don't like it, I know for a fact most women enjoy being dominated but how exactly does she feel psychologically?,I mean does it empower her as it empower him,how though? cause a man feels empowered when he knows that his woman knows he's got the power! Do women care more about being the object of desire thus they are satisfied with dominance,still as I said it's not about desire,A man can dominate a woman in bed without having as much desire for her as much as he needs to boost himself up.Is it just an instinct thing where no logic is found ?? I'm sure there's sth that a woman says to her self like the guy would say "I'm in control" she'd say "I'm...sth!!" but I can't figure it out !! Do each of them look at it in different perspectives so they both sorta fool each other??! what feeling lasts for her outside the bedroom after being dominated? I know the guy doesn't mean to insult her but at the same time I don't get how she doesn't feel insulted!! oh btw this doesn't mean any of this dominance goes outside the bedroom, I mean a guy can dominate a woman in bed then be dominated outside or still dominate I mean I'm not talking about anything related to dominance outside the bedroom,let's just assume that outside the bedroom is a perfectly balanced marriage. Well,obviously only sexually submissive ladies can answer me that one,don't know if there are many in here but let's hear it,I feel I'm gonna be stoned after I post this :) Edited by - joeteen on Jun 10 2012 Edited by - joeteen on Jun 10 2012 Edited by - joeteen on Jun 14 2012 Edited by - joeteen on Jun 16 2012 [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:35PM You know for a fact most women enjoy being dominated? Then why are you asking? You already have the answer you want. [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:48PM Yes I know they love being dominated but I don't know why they do? I explained why males love to dominate and I'm curious about the other point of view,you skimmed through my post :) [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 3:04PM First of all if you want your questions answered try not posting a wall of text. Second of all you are kind of generalizing. Even in your own post you said not all women liked it, some thought it insulting or degrading. There are many women who prefer to dominate. Lets not forget about them. It all has to do with the dynamics of the relationship. We can't tell you what it does psycologically. We don't know what every other woman is thinking about. Some women would be disgusted or feel degraded. Some women might feel like it was the hottest sex ever. We all have our own ideas, fantasies, kinks and desires. Women are not cookie cutters. [Link]
SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 4:14PM I agree with all of SSG's points. You can't throw everybody into one box. There are many women who are naturally dominant in bed and there are still others who make a living dominating men. Following that statement, there are men who love to be dominated and controlled by women. That's why the world is so much fun, people possess a wide variety of kinks. I'd also like to point out that the feelings you describe from dominating your partners might have less to do with biology or nature (which is what you propose, "from the male point of view") and perhaps more to do with personal ego. There's certainly a degree of natural power play in male/female sex, but I'd wager the majority of people (dominant women included) are dominant out of a need for ego-gratification. You certainly seem to fit that given your statements. I'm not condemning that or shaming anyone who fits the bill, everyone tries to pump their ego in different ways, but it's folly to say it's just nature or "the way things are for men" when it's really about particular, individual proclivity. The same can be said for submissives, who enjoy being dominated and "wanted" enough to be used any which way by a dominant. [Link]

more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 8:00PM Is it safe to say, sexually, women are far more likely to want to be dominated than a man would be. And does their physical design support the idea that nature intended them to be submissive in the bedroom (not life in general). Women where made to be penetrated (an act of dominance) in more ways than a man. Isn't that sign they were intended for sexual domination to some extent. I'm not trying to be sexist, just throwing it out there as a hypothesis. [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 11:43PM ^ Well I'd have to say you're wrong. I mean just going to a munch and meeting other couples, I know there is more of an even split. Many people in the kink community identify as "switch." Meaning, they'll take either role. Penetration has nothing to do with dominance. Otherwise you would not have non-sexual Dom/Dommes. A non-sexual Dom/Domme will assert dominance over their submissive without even touching them let alone in a sexual manner. In my community I know just as many male subs as I do female. But I wouldn't pretend to know the actual statistics on it. [Link]
phenemol Member 30 Posts 6/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:42AM I don't understand all the people saying the OP is generalizing. For the most part all he is asking is: For women who like to be dominated what turns you on about it? He may have asked it in an awkward way, but he didn't say all women like it like several posters are claiming. Nor is he asking any one woman to answer for all women. Just what is it that women who like being submissive in bed like about it. Sometimes forum discussions remind me of art critiques when I was in school. No one would give anyone the benefit of the doubt. One flaw or mistake and you are racist/fascist/sexist something. I don't know maybe I missed the original post before he edited it but it seems like just an honest but awkward question. [Link]
Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:13AM SunShowers wrote: You can't throw everybody into one box. Click to expand I totally agree, not sure where rough sex comes into play with the whole domination thing, in my opinion that is just a stereotype. Just because somebody (man or woman) enjoys rough sex doesn't make them dom or sub. Rough sex can be the most passionate sex two people ever have IMO, where all sense of reality means nothing and two people are just going with it. You know like in a missionary position where her legs are locked around your ass, pulling you deeper into her, you are kissing her feverishly with every thrust, her nails are digging into your back and your fingers are digging into her shoulders. Simply mad passion, not neccessarily dom or sub. @joeteen...How does it make you feel pschologically? You say in your post it makes you feel like "I'm in control,I'm in charge,I'm the dominant,feel the intensity, I'm gonna keep rocking your world under my control till you go crazy and the most important part is that you know that!" and the overwhelmed look on their face is always worth it.The fact that she knows who's the man !Her knowing that makes me feel manly,masculine,confident,secure...etc and it lasts outside the bedroom." I'm not throwing stones at all joeteen, sounds pretty hot to me, BUT, I totally have to disagree that is a dom/sub thing. Knowing that you can please your partner is a great feeling, it takes a lot of communication and if you think you can fuck every woman you meet doggy style and pull her hair and drive her wild, you are mistaken, no offense at all. [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:22AM @ phenemol...He said he knows for a fact. Really? As a woman I'd like to see those facts. I mean I read shit like that a lot around here. Guys are always wanting to know what women think but then they turn around and try to fit us all into the same neat little package. It doesn't work that way. He's also answered his own question. For some it makes them feel wanted. Others don't know why they like it and some are insulted. I've even tried to explain it in other threads. https://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/what-makes-a-submissive#post We're not saying he's stupid for asking. We're saying to all of you open your eyes and ears and listen to what we tell you. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 1:23:17 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:44AM SexShopGrl wrote: ^ Well I'd have to say you're wrong. I mean just going to a munch and meeting other couples, I know there is more of an even split. Many people in the kink community identify as "switch." Meaning, they'll take either role. Penetration has nothing to do with dominance. Otherwise you would not have non-sexual Dom/Dommes. A non-sexual Dom/Domme will assert dominance over their submissive without even touching them let alone in a sexual manner. In my community I know just as many male subs as I do female. But I wouldn't pretend to know the actual statistics on it. Click to expand Men and women subs might be evenly split in the S and M community but that may or may not accurately reflect trends in the general public. Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/11/2012 2:52:29 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:51AM SexShopGrl wrote: @ phenemol...He said he knows for a fact. Really? As a woman I'd like to see those facts. I mean I read shit like that a lot around here. Guys are always wanting to know what women think but then they turn around and try to fit us all into the same neat little package. It doesn't work that way. He's also answered his own question. For some it makes them feel wanted. Others don't know why they like it and some are insulted. I've even tried to explain it in other threads. https://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/what-makes-a-submissive#post We're not saying he's stupid for asking. We're saying to all of you open your eyes and ears and listen to what we tell you. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 1:23:17 AM Click to expand I'll take your opinions into consideration. But they're still just opinions not established scientific fact. [Link]
Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:13AM And what is scientific fact and when people ask for female opinions what up? They give them and get knocked for not being "Scientific Facts?" [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:21AM Well ya know, we're just wimmins so how the fuck would we know what wimmin folk want? [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 5:11AM LOL Is this a form of female empowerment? Being condescending to shy or awkward guys who like porn? I suppose this is one of the few ADT forums where you can get away with that crap. At least you get back at all those ex-boyfriends. lmao! Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/11/2012 5:22:16 AM [Link]

more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 5:19AM Breeze wrote: And what is scientific fact and when people ask for female opinions what up? They give them and get knocked for not being "Scientific Facts?" Click to expand So if you tell us something we have to accept it as the final say in the matter? Did women elect three females to speak for all of them on ADT. Is it possible that other women might have an opinion on these topics different from yourself? Like I said I'll take your opinions into consideration. Why would you expect anything beyond that? [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14606 Posts 3/02	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 6:05AM more_cowbell wrote: Is it safe to say, sexually, women are far more likely to want to be dominated than a man would be. Click to expand No, it isn't safe to say that. Well, in one sense it is safe for you to say that, but that is in a cultural sense, not a genetic sense. Men fight over women more often than women fight over men. Ergo, aggression in males is rewarded more often than it is in females. I don't see how this translates into a desire to be dominated, though. Perhaps it shows a willingness to be dominated, if only because Macho Man will turn into Limp Willie if he doesn't feel in control of the situation. And does their physical design support the idea that nature intended them to be submissive in the bedroom (not life in general). No, because nature has neither design nor intent. Or, one could say that nature has billions of designs, each with their own intent. Either way, any attempt to assign rational direction to random mutation fails. [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 7:40AM There are a handful of things from nature that could be random. The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them. Nature doesn't do most things without a reason. It may take centuries for scientist to figure out a reason but still. [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 8:53AM So I read your replies thanks all. I didn't generalize I said "most women" in most societies and I said it was a fact from the responds I've seen to topics such as this in many forums and articles in many magazines adapting women's point of view and tv shows (even oprah talked about it once) so if the word "fact" bothered any of you,sorry and thx to who saw the post as it is :).And "shy or awkward guy who likes porn" that obvious :D ? Anyway,I explained how dominating men or at least me feel when dominating and I explained what dominating and taking control is like and I consider the tossing and the grabbing and setting the position to be a part of the dominance and the desire for her and rough sex all together but the doggystle example I mentioned is the main focus point and I explained WHY it makes men (or me) feel good,and how is to boost ego but the point is that a man can never boost his ego unless he's sure his woman KNOWS who's the boss in that moment and again read my original post if this statement misleads you, so I guess my question is how under the criteria I mentioned,lol,does she like that without it hurting her pride or affecting her self-esteem? that's the thing that's bugging me,I know they like it but I don't know how and why? AND if they have a different perspective as in "he wants me,I'm desirable" and the guy is all 'I'm the man,I'm the boss" then it's like they're not even on the same channel which kinda ruins it for both of them if you ask me,does this make sense to anyone,lol? And I know each partner loves to please the other but that's not the point and again,I know just like if a man loves dominating doesn't mean he's a control freak or a pathetic asshole, a woman who loves being dominated is not a bitch.I'm really curious about the dynamics of this regarding a woman's point of view that's all or should I just attribute it to pure instinct which has no logic ? I gave some logic regarding my view maybe not full cause you can't give full logic to these subjects,now Im looking for that same amount of logic from a woman's view on this matter(a woman who likes it,again!). Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:36:33 AM Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:40:59 AM Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:45:10 AM Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 11:08:43 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:07PM I don't think submissiveness is about feeling desired. That doesn't make much sense. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14606 Posts 3/02	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:59PM more_cowbell wrote: There are a handful of things from nature that could be random. The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them. Nature doesn't do most things without a reason. It may take centuries for scientist to figure out a reason but still. Click to expand Do you think Adam Smith's invisible hand is real, too? Nature is not an individual, it is just a concept we've developed so we can talk about an unknowable number of unique events without getting lost in the weeds. How can an unknowable number of unique events have a reason? Does a raincloud have a reason? Are all the individual raindrops conspiring to get you wet? The existence of the vagina requires no concept, it simply requires a mechanism to produce changes in a life form, and that mechanism is radiation - or the bombardment of DNA by radiated subatomic particles, if you prefer. The fact that some of the coding 'mistakes' thus created confer an evolutionary advantage (at least, for now) requires no master plan, or intent to create any particular advantage, either. Sexual reproduction allows for more mutations than asexual reproduction does. Thus, sexual reproduction confers the ability to adapt more rapidly than asexual reproduction does. The vagina and the penis both exist because passing genetic 'data' within the protection of a vagina appears to work better than exchanging that data externally. That doesn't prove that life started out doing things that way. Take a look at fish, a much older life form than mammals, and it is obvious that the reverse is true. PS - One wonders if you are really aware of the number of mutations that occur in the human species, even today. edit: said sexual data - meant genetic data. Edited by - hardware on 6/12/2012 2:18:40 AM [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:16PM One also wonders how the ability to penetrate equals domination or how being penetrated equals submission. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14606 Posts 3/02	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:41PM Yeah, this ought to be good. [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:45PM joteen, your posts are so full of contradictory statements and specualation it's not even funny. Your facts are not facts, they are opinions. Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego. If being dominated hurt her pride or self-esteem why would any woman allow it? Why do you think they do it? It's really not as complicated as you're making it. They do it becuase it's fun and it fucking feels good. If it upset them they would more than likely say so and ask that it not happen again. [Link]
SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:07PM SexShopGrl wrote: Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego. Click to expand I agree with most of what you've said, SSG, as I usually do, but when I use ego I'm not necessarily referring to someone feeling good about himself for pleasuring another person. That's only one side of the coin. Feeling powerful, in control, and also having someone SUBMIT to your dominance is gratifying to the ego (and what I think the OP is enjoying so much). That's why I used the word ego. And let me again say I don't necessarily mean that as a bad thing. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot as an insult. I don't mean to use it that way here. I just thought a distinction should be made because the OP seemed to be stating that his experience is true for most if not all men, when in reality it's not and that's just his individual experience with sex. I may be way off the mark, but these are my impressions. I find it difficult to decipher big blocky paragraphs like the original post, so perhaps I misunderstood him. I never called him sexist or anything of that nature. My tone was actually pretty neutral. [Link]

SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:35PM No, I didn't take it as an insult. I'm just saying it shouldn't be about boosting ones own ego. That's just assholish. I guess it just has a different spin for me. You said something about someone submitting and being under your control as the ego boost. IMO, it's more about all those things combined that cause your partner to get off and knowing you accomplished it that gives the ego boost. Does that make more sense? Like....I have the control of this situation, I have the power over her, I made her come four times, go me. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 2:36:45 PM Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 2:41:56 PM [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:24PM SexShopGrl wrote: joteen, your posts are so full of contradictory statements and specualation it's not even funny. Your facts are not facts, they are opinions. Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego. If being dominated hurt her pride or self-esteem why would any woman allow it? Why do you think they do it? It's really not as complicated as you're making it. They do it becuase it's fun and it fucking feels good. If it upset them they would more than likely say so and ask that it not happen again. Click to expand Umm,I said I was sorry and I told you why I used the word "fact" I didn't make the forums or the magazines or the shows or told most women what to say about this so what exactly is your problem? Okay it's my opinion that I have formed from what I've noticed from the previous things I've mentioned,happy? and I was replying to some1 else about the EGO thing and I already said and emphasized and assured on all of what yu said, yu obviously don't understand my question and feel the need to make some point that we all know or just defend something that I'm not even attacking.I don't know really but forget I even asked the question cause it's not for you,thanks. [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:29PM SunShowers wrote: SexShopGrl wrote: Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego. Click to expand I agree with most of what you've said, SSG, as I usually do, but when I use ego I'm not necessarily referring to someone feeling good about himself for pleasuring another person. That's only one side of the coin. Feeling powerful, in control, and also having someone SUBMIT to your dominance is gratifying to the ego (and what I think the OP is enjoying so much). That's why I used the word ego. And let me again say I don't necessarily mean that as a bad thing. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot as an insult. I don't mean to use it that way here. I just thought a distinction should be made because the OP seemed to be stating that his experience is true for most if not all men, when in reality it's not and that's just his individual experience with sex. I may be way off the mark, but these are my impressions. I find it difficult to decipher big blocky paragraphs like the original post, so perhaps I misunderstood him. I never called him sexist or anything of that nature. My tone was actually pretty neutral. Click to expand pleasing her is vital for the whole ego thing and If if yu see that there are other dominating men have other points of view of why they like it or enjoy it so much then you may be correct. I can't speak on behalf of all women or men. [Link]
Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 1:26AM joeteen wrote: ... but the point is that a man can never boost his ego unless he's sure his woman KNOWS who's the boss in that moment and again read my original post if this statement misleads you, so I guess my question is how under the criteria I mentioned,lol,does she like that without it hurting her pride or affecting her self-esteem? that's the thing that's bugging me,I know they like it but I don't know how and why? AND if they have a different perspective as in "he wants me,I'm desirable" and the guy is all 'I'm the man,I'm the boss" then it's like they're not even on the same channel which kinda ruins it for both of them if you ask me,does this make sense to anyone,lol? .... Click to expand joeteen, you are on to something here, so are you trying to boost your ego? That is what I am getting at when you ask other people (men or women) about their psycological thoughts regarding rough sex and bdsm. Why does it matter to you if you hurt her pride or self esteem? Her feelings should not matter to you or should they? I am not going to hack your post which I could easily do, but I get kinda what you are saying... IMO if you "wanna be the man" be very receptive and open minded with your partner, ever hear the term..."Take it Like a Man?" LOL, It has been my experience that more men are uptight and unwilling to do things that they want because they feel it makes them "less than a man" Good luck [Link]
BlackSix All-Star Member pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 2:00AM more_cowbell wrote: There are a handful of things from nature that could be random. The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them. Click to expand The single strangest post I've read on ADT. What is the 'concept' of a vagina? [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:07AM Hardware wrote: more_cowbell wrote: There are a handful of things from nature that could be random. The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them. Nature doesn't do most things without a reason. It may take centuries for scientist to figure out a reason but still. Click to expand Do you think Adam Smith's invisible hand is real, too? Nature is not an individual, it is just a concept we've developed so we can talk about an unknowable number of unique events without getting lost in the weeds. How can an unknowable number of unique events have a reason? Does a raincloud have a reason? Are all the individual raindrops conspiring to get you wet? The existence of the vagina requires no concept, it simply requires a mechanism to produce changes in a life form, and that mechanism is radiation - or the bombardment of DNA by radiated subatomic particles, if you prefer. The fact that some of the coding 'mistakes' thus created confer an evolutionary advantage (at least, for now) requires no master plan, or intent to create any particular advantage, either. Sexual reproduction allows for more mutations than asexual reproduction does. Thus, sexual reproduction confers the ability to adapt more rapidly than asexual reproduction does. The vagina and the penis both exist because passing genetic 'data' within the protection of a vagina appears to work better than exchanging that data externally. That doesn't prove that life started out doing things that way. Take a look at fish, a much older life form than mammals, and it is obvious that the reverse is true. PS - One wonders if you are really aware of the number of mutations that occur in the human species, even today. edit: said sexual data - meant genetic data. Edited by - hardware on 6/12/2012 2:18:40 AM Click to expand Despite your vast intellect you clearly missed my point. The way the human body and human mind are designed has survival or reproductive "reasoning". Very basic examples. Babies are cute so parents will care for them at their most vulnerable stage. Sexual urges are to motive people to reproduce. Guys are attracted to women with certain body types because it indicates good genes, child bearing (sp?) age, child-bearing potential, and breast feeding potential. Some animals watch their young for a longer period because much of their survival methods are learned versus based on instinct. Seeds are in delicious fruit so animals will eat them and spread the seeds long distances via feces. Pussy gets wet because it increases the chances that the sperm in the pussy is wanted by the female (she likes the guy). The list goes on and on and on. These are all REASONS for a natural traits, designs, and functions. and you can bet there's a reason a woman doesn't have clit in here mouth leading toward her stomach verses one close to her vagina leading to her uterus. Here's evolutionary reasoning for psychology explained in a bunch of fancy jargon worthy of intellectual giants. lol. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 3:07:40 AM Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 3:09:18 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:15AM SexShopGrl wrote: One also wonders how the ability to penetrate equals domination or how being penetrated equals submission. Click to expand In many gay relationships you have a designated "pitcher" and "catcher". Meaning one guy always does the penetration. I bet the pitcher in most cases is the dominant persona. If you can find scientific data proving or disproving that feel free to post a link. Cause it's just a personal theory of mine. [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:12AM Well when you find scientific data proving what you say is true, go ahead and post it. But I'll go along with this theory..... It's a long read and will probably be over your head so do try to keep up. http://postmasculine.com/evolution [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 12:50PM @SexShopGrl : I'm gonna read this later cause I'm 2 lazy right now @Breeze: I'm asking about psychological pleasure of a woman who loves being dominated, and ofcourse her feelings matter and I wouldn't like to hurt or demean her and if it did bother her then she wouldn't even like it or let me do it, and "take it like a man" I don't get it,I didn't say I want her to dominate me! [Link]
Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 1:02PM SexShopGrl wrote: http://postmasculine.com/evolution Click to expand Thanks for this, and for the site in general. [Link]

Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:56PM what ever happened to just good old, straight up fucking...?? just a thought... [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14606 Posts 3/02	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 4:54PM more_cowbell wrote: Despite your vast intellect you clearly missed my point. Click to expand On the contrary, I understand your point, I just don't agree with it, and neither does Darwin. The mistake you are making is looking at the result and attributing that to intent. Darwin made two points, the first of which is that species evolve; the second of which is that intent is not required to explain that evolution. Ergo, if you want to talk about evolution, or the placement of the vagina, then leave intent out of it. PS - Next time you link to an article don't just assume it supports your article based upon the title - it doesn't. [Link]
phenemol Member 30 Posts 6/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 5:26PM SexShopGrl wrote: Well when you find scientific data proving what you say is true, go ahead and post it. But I'll go along with this theory..... It's a long read and will probably be over your head so do try to keep up. http://postmasculine.com/evolution Click to expand I feel like everyone on the internet should be forced to read this before they open their mouth. Thanks for the great post. [Link]
joeteen Member 207 Posts 4/12	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 5:55PM ehmm,I need scientific proof when I say men are dominating and women are sub by genes or nature,I need statistics to say what most people like,statistics can come from many places so I really don't need scientific evidence after all cause it's not biology it's statistics it deals with numbers not reasons. Edited by - joeteen on 6/12/2012 6:00:49 PM [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 6:44PM Then maybe you need to read this article instead. Female Fallicies Because you're buying into a myth dude. [Link]
phenemol Member 30 Posts 6/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 7:18PM Check chart #2 http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/10-charts-about-sex/ Its only from one dating sight but that's a fair amount of people. Though I thought your original question was why people like rough sex, not how many? [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:48PM SexShopGrl wrote: Well when you find scientific data proving what you say is true, go ahead and post it. But I'll go along with this theory..... It's a long read and will probably be over your head so do try to keep up. http://postmasculine.com/evolution Click to expand It's fine if you go along with something...but don't pretend you are capable of writing it yourself. The article is well-written compared to most common articles yet condescending (noticing this trend with the feminist, possibly genetic trait, lol). You think the nature versus nature argument can be easily solved by simply glorifying phenotypes over genotypes? If you're that easy to convince then your either terribly biased or gullible, possibly both. "An organism's genotype is a major (the largest by far for morphology) influencing factor in the development of its phenotype" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genotype-phenotype_distinction Morphology includes the structure of the human brain and even vaginas. So while your feminist propaganda is articulate it's still shamefully deceptive. It's one thing to argue genotypes are less important than phenotypes but to say they never have an evolved genetic function that can help explain human tendencies is intellectually dishonest to say the least. btw - I agree with the article that genotypes, simply by existing, don't confirm a person's place in society. But they can help explain certain tendencies, because they heavily influence the development of phenotpes whether the article acknowledges this or not. I doubt they would ever post such obvious bias in a scientific journal. It firmly belongs in a biased agenda website with an illusion of scientific legitimacy. Are you guys trying to give ADT a feminist agenda by linking websites like that? OMG epic fail. Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 9:49:55 PM [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:53PM Awwww someone needs some ointment for his butthurt. sad face Oh and that article was written by a dude for a pro dude website he created to help other dudes pick up chicks. I knew you wouldn't be able to keep up. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/12/2012 9:57:20 PM [Link]
SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 10:31PM What's this disturbing trend of men calling anything that disproves or contradicts their outdated, condescending ideas about women and sex "feminist propaganda?" [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 10:47PM ^ Fuck if I know. LMAO! [Link]
Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08	Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 11:09PM joeteen wrote: @Breeze: I'm asking about psychological pleasure of a woman who loves being dominated, and ofcourse her feelings matter and I wouldn't like to hurt or demean her and if it did bother her then she wouldn't even like it or let me do it, and "take it like a man" I don't get it,I didn't say I want her to dominate me! Click to expand LOL joeteen, I wasn't insinuating you should take it like a man. What I am getting at is this...Women are sexual creatures just like men. Your initial post was pretty hot IMO, I think you are failing to see the difference between Dom and Topping. Just simply my opinion joeteen. Where in the rulebook does it say a dom can't bottom???? Dude, if you have never had a prostrate orgasm you are totally missing out!!! For real. A lot of guys are embarresed or feel kinda weird about it, but if you want to fuck a chick in the ass, why not let her stick a finger in yours? It has nothing to do with being Dom or sub, just good fun. [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 12:43AM SexShopGrl wrote: Awwww someone needs some ointment for his butthurt. sad face Oh and that article was written by a dude for a pro dude website he created to help other dudes pick up chicks. I knew you wouldn't be able to keep up. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/12/2012 9:57:20 PM Click to expand lolwut? A man can't advocate a feminist agenda? lmao I'm glad you have some lackeys to help you out on here. Your "arguments" are too easily dismissed without someone co-signing everything you say. Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/13/2012 12:43:27 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 12:55AM SunShowers wrote: What's this disturbing trend of men calling anything that disproves or contradicts their outdated, condescending ideas about women and sex "feminist propaganda?" Click to expand I dunno. What's this disturbing trend of women being condescending and arrogant to every other OP asking questions that might offend a feminist mindset? Constantly trying to make guys who have any fustration or questionable belief about women, feel small. I don't believe that is the intended purpose of this forum. and next time you want to "disprove" something stick to respected scientific journals? Not blatantly biased blogs. [Link]
SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11	Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 1:41AM If you had bothered to read anyting he wrote you would have realized there is nothing feminist about him. That website was better than anything you provided which was NOTHING except a couple wiki article that have nothing to do with women being naturally submissive. Submissiveness and dominance is a learned behavior. I just don't get the mindset that some men have in thinking we women are all just supposed to fall to our knees with gratitude because you have a cock. Or that we are too pigshit stupid to know what we want. AND it really pisses me off that guys like you and the OP lump us all into one group because it fits with what you want. The whole "we are predisposed/hardwired to do this" argument is bullshit and you're just pissed because you got called on it. joeteen, sorry I hijacked your thread. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/13/2012 1:41:50 AM [Link]
more_cowbell Member 162 Posts 2/12	Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 3:17AM So men and women are only different in body? No, we're different in the brain too. Sorry if you don't find all these difference flattering. (Yes some behaviors are learned but genetics is the starting point and influences how those behaviors develop if at all, this gives some generalizations a scientific basis) Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/13/2012 3:19:46 AM [Link]
SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08	Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 11:16AM more_cowbell wrote: I dunno. What's this disturbing trend of women being condescending and arrogant to every other OP asking questions that might offend a feminist mindset? Constantly trying to make guys who have any fustration or questionable belief about women, feel small. I don't believe that is the intended purpose of this forum. and next time you want to "disprove" something stick to respected scientific journals? Not blatantly biased blogs. Click to expand I don't see condescension from any of the women commenting on this thread. I do believe I misunderstood the original poster's meaning, and I'll admit that. Despite my misunderstanding, however, I was never antagonistic in my replies. I've maintained a neutral tone. Who has tried to make anyone feel small in this thread? It started out as a healthy, vigorous debate! It was refreshing! What I do see, however, is that you're entitled to your opinions and needn't feel so frustrated trying to defend them. We've all got opinions and theories, and there's usually a dollop of truth in all of them to an extent. You even stated at one point that this was just your personal theory, so I don't understand how this conversation has turned into such a shit-fling. I would suggest you be a little more open-minded and consider the possibility that when women offer an opposing viewpoint or express insight about themselves (or post links to articles that speak to or make sense to them, or supports their ideas), it's not "feminist propaganda" and don't shrug it off like it's nonsense. If you posted an article supporting how you feel and your experience as a man, you would want everyone to consider it objectively and not pass it off as mere masculine drivel with no bearing on reality. Women are women, men are men, but we're individuals and traits dominant in one gender are present in the other. People are born breaking the mold every day, especially in this age. [Link]

Author

Post

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:23PM

Hi all, so I was wondering as a guy who's into rough sex (most of the time),when I say rough I don't mean BDSM or torture or abuse or anything like that shit they show on pornstar punishment ..etc I mean for example when a guy is hard pounding doggystyle then suddenly pulls the woman's hair,toss her around,pin her to the wall,grabbing her neck,maybe (sometimes) licking her face but that's really rare, Psychologically,I know how it would make me feel good I mean when I'm giving it to her doggy-style then I pull her hair tightly (not painfully) then give her deep intense thrusts and keep my dick in there for a while before I give her another thrust it makes me feel "I'm in control,I'm in charge,I'm the dominant,feel the intensity, I'm gonna keep rocking your world under my control till you go crazy and the most important part is that you know that!" and the overwhelmed look on their face is always worth it.The fact that she knows who's the man !Her knowing that makes me feel manly,masculine,confident,secure...etc and it lasts outside the bedroom. This is the detailed male view of point.Before everyone calls me a jerk or sexist or anything, I'm just being honest, now I asked before for a woman's point of view; some said it makes them feel wanted,others said they liked it as it is and don't think about why they like it,others said it's insulting to them and they don't like it, I know for a fact most women enjoy being dominated but how exactly does she feel psychologically?,I mean does it empower her as it empower him,how though? cause a man feels empowered when he knows that his woman knows he's got the power! Do women care more about being the object of desire thus they are satisfied with dominance,still as I said it's not about desire,A man can dominate a woman in bed without having as much desire for her as much as he needs to boost himself up.Is it just an instinct thing where no logic is found ?? I'm sure there's sth that a woman says to her self like the guy would say "I'm in control" she'd say "I'm...sth!!" but I can't figure it out !! Do each of them look at it in different perspectives so they both sorta fool each other??! what feeling lasts for her outside the bedroom after being dominated? I know the guy doesn't mean to insult her but at the same time I don't get how she doesn't feel insulted!! oh btw this doesn't mean any of this dominance goes outside the bedroom, I mean a guy can dominate a woman in bed then be dominated outside or still dominate I mean I'm not talking about anything related to dominance outside the bedroom,let's just assume that outside the bedroom is a perfectly balanced marriage. Well,obviously only sexually submissive ladies can answer me that one,don't know if there are many in here but let's hear it,I feel I'm gonna be stoned after I post this :)
Edited by - joeteen on Jun 10 2012
Edited by - joeteen on Jun 10 2012
Edited by - joeteen on Jun 14 2012
Edited by - joeteen on Jun 16 2012

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:35PM

You know for a fact most women enjoy being dominated? Then why are you asking? You already have the answer you want.

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 1:48PM

Yes I know they love being dominated but I don't know why they do? I explained why males love to dominate and I'm curious about the other point of view,you skimmed through my post :)

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 3:04PM

First of all if you want your questions answered try not posting a wall of text.
Second of all you are kind of generalizing. Even in your own post you said not all women liked it, some thought it insulting or degrading. There are many women who prefer to dominate. Lets not forget about them.
It all has to do with the dynamics of the relationship. We can't tell you what it does psycologically. We don't know what every other woman is thinking about. Some women would be disgusted or feel degraded. Some women might feel like it was the hottest sex ever. We all have our own ideas, fantasies, kinks and desires. Women are not cookie cutters.

[Link]

SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 4:14PM

I agree with all of SSG's points. You can't throw everybody into one box. There are many women who are naturally dominant in bed and there are still others who make a living dominating men. Following that statement, there are men who love to be dominated and controlled by women. That's why the world is so much fun, people possess a wide variety of kinks.
I'd also like to point out that the feelings you describe from dominating your partners might have less to do with biology or nature (which is what you propose, "from the male point of view") and perhaps more to do with personal ego. There's certainly a degree of natural power play in male/female sex, but I'd wager the majority of people (dominant women included) are dominant out of a need for ego-gratification. You certainly seem to fit that given your statements. I'm not condemning that or shaming anyone who fits the bill, everyone tries to pump their ego in different ways, but it's folly to say it's just nature or "the way things are for men" when it's really about particular, individual proclivity.
The same can be said for submissives, who enjoy being dominated and "wanted" enough to be used any which way by a dominant.

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 8:00PM

Is it safe to say, sexually, women are far more likely to want to be dominated than a man would be.
And does their physical design support the idea that nature intended them to be submissive in the bedroom (not life in general). Women where made to be penetrated (an act of dominance) in more ways than a man. Isn't that sign they were intended for sexual domination to some extent.
I'm not trying to be sexist, just throwing it out there as a hypothesis.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 10 2012 : 11:43PM

^ Well I'd have to say you're wrong. I mean just going to a munch and meeting other couples, I know there is more of an even split. Many people in the kink community identify as "switch." Meaning, they'll take either role. Penetration has nothing to do with dominance. Otherwise you would not have non-sexual Dom/Dommes. A non-sexual Dom/Domme will assert dominance over their submissive without even touching them let alone in a sexual manner. In my community I know just as many male subs as I do female. But I wouldn't pretend to know the actual statistics on it.

[Link]

phenemol
Member

30 Posts
6/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:42AM

I don't understand all the people saying the OP is generalizing. For the most part all he is asking is: For women who like to be dominated what turns you on about it?
He may have asked it in an awkward way, but he didn't say all women like it like several posters are claiming. Nor is he asking any one woman to answer for all women. Just what is it that women who like being submissive in bed like about it.
Sometimes forum discussions remind me of art critiques when I was in school. No one would give anyone the benefit of the doubt. One flaw or mistake and you are racist/fascist/sexist something.
I don't know maybe I missed the original post before he edited it but it seems like just an honest but awkward question.

[Link]

Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:13AM

I totally agree, not sure where rough sex comes into play with the whole domination thing, in my opinion that is just a stereotype. Just because somebody (man or woman) enjoys rough sex doesn't make them dom or sub. Rough sex can be the most passionate sex two people ever have IMO, where all sense of reality means nothing and two people are just going with it.
You know like in a missionary position where her legs are locked around your ass, pulling you deeper into her, you are kissing her feverishly with every thrust, her nails are digging into your back and your fingers are digging into her shoulders. Simply mad passion, not neccessarily dom or sub.
@joeteen...How does it make you feel pschologically? You say in your post it makes you feel like "I'm in control,I'm in charge,I'm the dominant,feel the intensity, I'm gonna keep rocking your world under my control till you go crazy and the most important part is that you know that!" and the overwhelmed look on their face is always worth it.The fact that she knows who's the man !Her knowing that makes me feel manly,masculine,confident,secure...etc and it lasts outside the bedroom."
I'm not throwing stones at all joeteen, sounds pretty hot to me, BUT, I totally have to disagree that is a dom/sub thing. Knowing that you can please your partner is a great feeling, it takes a lot of communication and if you think you can fuck every woman you meet doggy style and pull her hair and drive her wild, you are mistaken, no offense at all.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:22AM

@ phenemol...He said he knows for a fact. Really? As a woman I'd like to see those facts.
I mean I read shit like that a lot around here. Guys are always wanting to know what women think but then they turn around and try to fit us all into the same neat little package. It doesn't work that way.
He's also answered his own question. For some it makes them feel wanted. Others don't know why they like it and some are insulted.
I've even tried to explain it in other threads.
https://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/what-makes-a-submissive#post
We're not saying he's stupid for asking. We're saying to all of you open your eyes and ears and listen to what we tell you.
Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 1:23:17 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:44AM

Men and women subs might be evenly split in the S and M community but that may or may not accurately reflect trends in the general public.
Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/11/2012 2:52:29 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:51AM

I'll take your opinions into consideration.
But they're still just opinions not established scientific fact.

[Link]

Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:13AM

And what is scientific fact and when people ask for female opinions what up? They give them and get knocked for not being "Scientific Facts?"

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:21AM

Well ya know, we're just wimmins so how the fuck would we know what wimmin folk want?

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 5:11AM

LOL
Is this a form of female empowerment?
Being condescending to shy or awkward guys who like porn?
I suppose this is one of the few ADT forums where you can get away with that crap.
At least you get back at all those ex-boyfriends. lmao!
Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/11/2012 5:22:16 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 5:19AM

So if you tell us something we have to accept it as the final say in the matter?
Did women elect three females to speak for all of them on ADT.
Is it possible that other women might have an opinion on these topics different from yourself?
Like I said I'll take your opinions into consideration. Why would you expect anything beyond that?

[Link]

Hardware

All-Star Member

Your other left
14606 Posts
3/02

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 6:05AM

No, it isn't safe to say that. Well, in one sense it is safe for you to say that, but that is in a cultural sense, not a genetic sense.
Men fight over women more often than women fight over men. Ergo, aggression in males is rewarded more often than it is in females. I don't see how this translates into a desire to be dominated, though. Perhaps it shows a willingness to be dominated, if only because Macho Man will turn into Limp Willie if he doesn't feel in control of the situation.

And does their physical design support the idea that nature intended them to be submissive in the bedroom (not life in general).

No, because nature has neither design nor intent. Or, one could say that nature has billions of designs, each with their own intent. Either way, any attempt to assign rational direction to random mutation fails.

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 7:40AM

There are a handful of things from nature that could be random.
The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them.
Nature doesn't do most things without a reason. It may take centuries for scientist to figure out a reason but still.

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 8:53AM

So I read your replies thanks all. I didn't generalize I said "most women" in most societies and I said it was a fact from the responds I've seen to topics such as this in many forums and articles in many magazines adapting women's point of view and tv shows (even oprah talked about it once) so if the word "fact" bothered any of you,sorry and thx to who saw the post as it is :).And "shy or awkward guy who likes porn" that obvious :D ? Anyway,I explained how dominating men or at least me feel when dominating and I explained what dominating and taking control is like and I consider the tossing and the grabbing and setting the position to be a part of the dominance and the desire for her and rough sex all together but the doggystle example I mentioned is the main focus point and I explained WHY it makes men (or me) feel good,and how is to boost ego but the point is that a man can never boost his ego unless he's sure his woman KNOWS who's the boss in that moment and again read my original post if this statement misleads you, so I guess my question is how under the criteria I mentioned,lol,does she like that without it hurting her pride or affecting her self-esteem? that's the thing that's bugging me,I know they like it but I don't know how and why? AND if they have a different perspective as in "he wants me,I'm desirable" and the guy is all 'I'm the man,I'm the boss" then it's like they're not even on the same channel which kinda ruins it for both of them if you ask me,does this make sense to anyone,lol? And I know each partner loves to please the other but that's not the point and again,I know just like if a man loves dominating doesn't mean he's a control freak or a pathetic asshole, a woman who loves being dominated is not a bitch.I'm really curious about the dynamics of this regarding a woman's point of view that's all or should I just attribute it to pure instinct which has no logic ? I gave some logic regarding my view maybe not full cause you can't give full logic to these subjects,now Im looking for that same amount of logic from a woman's view on this matter(a woman who likes it,again!).
Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:36:33 AM
Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:40:59 AM
Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 10:45:10 AM
Edited by - joeteen on 6/11/2012 11:08:43 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:07PM

I don't think submissiveness is about feeling desired.
That doesn't make much sense.

[Link]

Hardware

All-Star Member

Your other left
14606 Posts
3/02

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 12:59PM

Do you think Adam Smith's invisible hand is real, too?
Nature is not an individual, it is just a concept we've developed so we can talk about an unknowable number of unique events without getting lost in the weeds. How can an unknowable number of unique events have a reason? Does a raincloud have a reason? Are all the individual raindrops conspiring to get you wet?
The existence of the vagina requires no concept, it simply requires a mechanism to produce changes in a life form, and that mechanism is radiation - or the bombardment of DNA by radiated subatomic particles, if you prefer. The fact that some of the coding 'mistakes' thus created confer an evolutionary advantage (at least, for now) requires no master plan, or intent to create any particular advantage, either.
Sexual reproduction allows for more mutations than asexual reproduction does. Thus, sexual reproduction confers the ability to adapt more rapidly than asexual reproduction does. The vagina and the penis both exist because passing genetic 'data' within the protection of a vagina appears to work better than exchanging that data externally. That doesn't prove that life started out doing things that way. Take a look at fish, a much older life form than mammals, and it is obvious that the reverse is true.
PS - One wonders if you are really aware of the number of mutations that occur in the human species, even today.
edit: said sexual data - meant genetic data.
Edited by - hardware on 6/12/2012 2:18:40 AM

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:16PM

One also wonders how the ability to penetrate equals domination or how being penetrated equals submission.

[Link]

Hardware

All-Star Member

Your other left
14606 Posts
3/02

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:41PM

Yeah, this ought to be good.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 1:45PM

joteen, your posts are so full of contradictory statements and specualation it's not even funny.
Your facts are not facts, they are opinions.
Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego.
If being dominated hurt her pride or self-esteem why would any woman allow it? Why do you think they do it? It's really not as complicated as you're making it. They do it becuase it's fun and it fucking feels good. If it upset them they would more than likely say so and ask that it not happen again.

[Link]

SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:07PM

I agree with most of what you've said, SSG, as I usually do, but when I use ego I'm not necessarily referring to someone feeling good about himself for pleasuring another person. That's only one side of the coin. Feeling powerful, in control, and also having someone SUBMIT to your dominance is gratifying to the ego (and what I think the OP is enjoying so much).
That's why I used the word ego. And let me again say I don't necessarily mean that as a bad thing. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot as an insult. I don't mean to use it that way here.
I just thought a distinction should be made because the OP seemed to be stating that his experience is true for most if not all men, when in reality it's not and that's just his individual experience with sex. I may be way off the mark, but these are my impressions. I find it difficult to decipher big blocky paragraphs like the original post, so perhaps I misunderstood him. I never called him sexist or anything of that nature. My tone was actually pretty neutral.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 2:35PM

No, I didn't take it as an insult. I'm just saying it shouldn't be about boosting ones own ego. That's just assholish.
I guess it just has a different spin for me. You said something about someone submitting and being under your control as the ego boost. IMO, it's more about all those things combined that cause your partner to get off and knowing you accomplished it that gives the ego boost. Does that make more sense?
Like....I have the control of this situation, I have the power over her, I made her come four times, go me.
Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 2:36:45 PM
Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/11/2012 2:41:56 PM

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:24PM

Umm,I said I was sorry and I told you why I used the word "fact" I didn't make the forums or the magazines or the shows or told most women what to say about this so what exactly is your problem? Okay it's my opinion that I have formed from what I've noticed from the previous things I've mentioned,happy? and I was replying to some1 else about the EGO thing and I already said and emphasized and assured on all of what yu said, yu obviously don't understand my question and feel the need to make some point that we all know or just defend something that I'm not even attacking.I don't know really but forget I even asked the question cause it's not for you,thanks.

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 11 2012 : 3:29PM

SunShowers wrote:
SexShopGrl wrote:
Domination is NOT about ego. It's about control. He has control over himself, he has control over his parnter. Ego would only play into it with him knowing he pleased her and gave her what she wanted. That would make him feel good and maybe boost his ego.
Click to expand
I agree with most of what you've said, SSG, as I usually do, but when I use ego I'm not necessarily referring to someone feeling good about himself for pleasuring another person. That's only one side of the coin. Feeling powerful, in control, and also having someone SUBMIT to your dominance is gratifying to the ego (and what I think the OP is enjoying so much).
That's why I used the word ego. And let me again say I don't necessarily mean that as a bad thing. It's a word that gets thrown around a lot as an insult. I don't mean to use it that way here.
I just thought a distinction should be made because the OP seemed to be stating that his experience is true for most if not all men, when in reality it's not and that's just his individual experience with sex. I may be way off the mark, but these are my impressions. I find it difficult to decipher big blocky paragraphs like the original post, so perhaps I misunderstood him. I never called him sexist or anything of that nature. My tone was actually pretty neutral.
Click to expand

pleasing her is vital for the whole ego thing and If if yu see that there are other dominating men have other points of view of why they like it or enjoy it so much then you may be correct. I can't speak on behalf of all women or men.

[Link]

Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 1:26AM

joeteen, you are on to something here, so are you trying to boost your ego? That is what I am getting at when you ask other people (men or women) about their psycological thoughts regarding rough sex and bdsm.
Why does it matter to you if you hurt her pride or self esteem?
Her feelings should not matter to you or should they?
I am not going to hack your post which I could easily do, but I get kinda what you are saying...
IMO if you "wanna be the man" be very receptive and open minded with your partner, ever hear the term..."Take it Like a Man?"
LOL, It has been my experience that more men are uptight and unwilling to do things that they want because they feel it makes them "less than a man"
Good luck

[Link]

BlackSix

All-Star Member

pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world
12377 Posts
9/07

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 2:00AM

The single strangest post I've read on ADT. What is the 'concept' of a vagina?

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:07AM

Hardware wrote:
more_cowbell wrote:
There are a handful of things from nature that could be random.
The concept and placement of a vagina is not one of them.
Nature doesn't do most things without a reason. It may take centuries for scientist to figure out a reason but still.
Click to expand
Do you think Adam Smith's invisible hand is real, too?
Nature is not an individual, it is just a concept we've developed so we can talk about an unknowable number of unique events without getting lost in the weeds. How can an unknowable number of unique events have a reason? Does a raincloud have a reason? Are all the individual raindrops conspiring to get you wet?
The existence of the vagina requires no concept, it simply requires a mechanism to produce changes in a life form, and that mechanism is radiation - or the bombardment of DNA by radiated subatomic particles, if you prefer. The fact that some of the coding 'mistakes' thus created confer an evolutionary advantage (at least, for now) requires no master plan, or intent to create any particular advantage, either.
Sexual reproduction allows for more mutations than asexual reproduction does. Thus, sexual reproduction confers the ability to adapt more rapidly than asexual reproduction does. The vagina and the penis both exist because passing genetic 'data' within the protection of a vagina appears to work better than exchanging that data externally. That doesn't prove that life started out doing things that way. Take a look at fish, a much older life form than mammals, and it is obvious that the reverse is true.
PS - One wonders if you are really aware of the number of mutations that occur in the human species, even today.
edit: said sexual data - meant genetic data.
Edited by - hardware on 6/12/2012 2:18:40 AM
Click to expand

Despite your vast intellect you clearly missed my point.
The way the human body and human mind are designed has survival or reproductive "reasoning".
Very basic examples.
Babies are cute so parents will care for them at their most vulnerable stage.
Sexual urges are to motive people to reproduce.
Guys are attracted to women with certain body types because it indicates good genes, child bearing (sp?) age, child-bearing potential, and breast feeding potential.
Some animals watch their young for a longer period because much of their survival methods are learned versus based on instinct.
Seeds are in delicious fruit so animals will eat them and spread the seeds long distances via feces.
Pussy gets wet because it increases the chances that the sperm in the pussy is wanted by the female (she likes the guy).
The list goes on and on and on.
These are all REASONS for a natural traits, designs, and functions.
and you can bet there's a reason a woman doesn't have clit in here mouth leading toward her stomach verses one close to her vagina leading to her uterus.
Here's evolutionary reasoning for psychology explained in a bunch of fancy jargon worthy of intellectual giants. lol.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_psychology

Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 3:07:40 AM
Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 3:09:18 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:15AM

In many gay relationships you have a designated "pitcher" and "catcher". Meaning one guy always does the penetration.
I bet the pitcher in most cases is the dominant persona.
If you can find scientific data proving or disproving that feel free to post a link. Cause it's just a personal theory of mine.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:12AM

Well when you find scientific data proving what you say is true, go ahead and post it.
But I'll go along with this theory.....
It's a long read and will probably be over your head so do try to keep up.
http://postmasculine.com/evolution

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 12:50PM

@SexShopGrl : I'm gonna read this later cause I'm 2 lazy right now @Breeze: I'm asking about psychological pleasure of a woman who loves being dominated, and ofcourse her feelings matter and I wouldn't like to hurt or demean her and if it did bother her then she wouldn't even like it or let me do it, and "take it like a man" I don't get it,I didn't say I want her to dominate me!

[Link]

Gore Gore Girl

Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 1:02PM

Thanks for this, and for the site in general.

[Link]

Rubberhole
Deactivated User

256 Posts
2/10

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 3:56PM

what ever happened to just good old, straight up fucking...??
just a thought...

[Link]

Hardware

All-Star Member

Your other left
14606 Posts
3/02

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 4:54PM

On the contrary, I understand your point, I just don't agree with it, and neither does Darwin. The mistake you are making is looking at the result and attributing that to intent. Darwin made two points, the first of which is that species evolve; the second of which is that intent is not required to explain that evolution.
Ergo, if you want to talk about evolution, or the placement of the vagina, then leave intent out of it.
PS - Next time you link to an article don't just assume it supports your article based upon the title - it doesn't.

[Link]

phenemol
Member

30 Posts
6/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 5:26PM

I feel like everyone on the internet should be forced to read this before they open their mouth. Thanks for the great post.

[Link]

joeteen
Member

207 Posts
4/12

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 5:55PM

ehmm,I need scientific proof when I say men are dominating and women are sub by genes or nature,I need statistics to say what most people like,statistics can come from many places so I really don't need scientific evidence after all cause it's not biology it's statistics it deals with numbers not reasons.
Edited by - joeteen on 6/12/2012 6:00:49 PM

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 6:44PM

Then maybe you need to read this article instead.
Female Fallicies
Because you're buying into a myth dude.

[Link]

phenemol
Member

30 Posts
6/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 7:18PM

Check chart #2
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/10-charts-about-sex/
Its only from one dating sight but that's a fair amount of people.
Though I thought your original question was why people like rough sex, not how many?

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:48PM

It's fine if you go along with something...but don't pretend you are capable of writing it yourself.
The article is well-written compared to most common articles yet condescending (noticing this trend with the feminist, possibly genetic trait, lol).
You think the nature versus nature argument can be easily solved by simply glorifying phenotypes over genotypes?
If you're that easy to convince then your either terribly biased or gullible, possibly both.
"An organism's genotype is a major (the largest by far for morphology) influencing factor in the development of its phenotype"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genotype-phenotype_distinction
Morphology includes the structure of the human brain and even vaginas.
So while your feminist propaganda is articulate it's still shamefully deceptive. It's one thing to argue genotypes are less important than phenotypes but to say they never have an evolved genetic function that can help explain human tendencies is intellectually dishonest to say the least.
btw - I agree with the article that genotypes, simply by existing, don't confirm a person's place in society. But they can help explain certain tendencies, because they heavily influence the development of phenotpes whether the article acknowledges this or not.
I doubt they would ever post such obvious bias in a scientific journal. It firmly belongs in a biased agenda website with an illusion of scientific legitimacy.
Are you guys trying to give ADT a feminist agenda by linking websites like that? OMG epic fail.

Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/12/2012 9:49:55 PM

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 9:53PM

Awwww someone needs some ointment for his butthurt. *sad face*
Oh and that article was written by a dude for a pro dude website he created to help other dudes pick up chicks.
I knew you wouldn't be able to keep up.
Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/12/2012 9:57:20 PM

[Link]

SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 10:31PM

What's this disturbing trend of men calling anything that disproves or contradicts their outdated, condescending ideas about women and sex "feminist propaganda?"

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 10:47PM

^ Fuck if I know. LMAO!

[Link]

Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08

Posted - Jun 12 2012 : 11:09PM

LOL joeteen, I wasn't insinuating you should take it like a man. What I am getting at is this...Women are sexual creatures just like men. Your initial post was pretty hot IMO, I think you are failing to see the difference between Dom and Topping. Just simply my opinion joeteen. Where in the rulebook does it say a dom can't bottom???? Dude, if you have never had a prostrate orgasm you are totally missing out!!! For real. A lot of guys are embarresed or feel kinda weird about it, but if you want to fuck a chick in the ass, why not let her stick a finger in yours? It has nothing to do with being Dom or sub, just good fun.

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 12:43AM

lolwut?
A man can't advocate a feminist agenda?
lmao
I'm glad you have some lackeys to help you out on here. Your "arguments" are too easily dismissed without someone co-signing everything you say.
Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/13/2012 12:43:27 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 12:55AM

I dunno.
What's this disturbing trend of women being condescending and arrogant to every other OP asking questions that might offend a feminist mindset?
Constantly trying to make guys who have any fustration or questionable belief about women, feel small. I don't believe that is the intended purpose of this forum.
and next time you want to "disprove" something stick to respected scientific journals? Not blatantly biased blogs.

[Link]

SexShopGrl
Member

F is for Forty and Fabulous!
940 Posts
5/11

Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 1:41AM

If you had bothered to read anyting he wrote you would have realized there is nothing feminist about him.
That website was better than anything you provided which was NOTHING except a couple wiki article that have nothing to do with women being naturally submissive. Submissiveness and dominance is a learned behavior.
I just don't get the mindset that some men have in thinking we women are all just supposed to fall to our knees with gratitude because you have a cock. Or that we are too pigshit stupid to know what we want. AND it really pisses me off that guys like you and the OP lump us all into one group because it fits with what you want. The whole "we are predisposed/hardwired to do this" argument is bullshit and you're just pissed because you got called on it.
joeteen, sorry I hijacked your thread.
Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/13/2012 1:41:50 AM

[Link]

more_cowbell
Member

162 Posts
2/12

Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 3:17AM

So men and women are only different in body?
No, we're different in the brain too.
Sorry if you don't find all these difference flattering.
(Yes some behaviors are learned but genetics is the starting point and influences how those behaviors develop if at all, this gives some generalizations a scientific basis)
Edited by - more_cowbell on 6/13/2012 3:19:46 AM

[Link]

SunShowers
Member

333 Posts
4/08

Posted - Jun 13 2012 : 11:16AM

I don't see condescension from any of the women commenting on this thread. I do believe I misunderstood the original poster's meaning, and I'll admit that. Despite my misunderstanding, however, I was never antagonistic in my replies. I've maintained a neutral tone.
Who has tried to make anyone feel small in this thread? It started out as a healthy, vigorous debate! It was refreshing!
What I do see, however, is that you're entitled to your opinions and needn't feel so frustrated trying to defend them. We've all got opinions and theories, and there's usually a dollop of truth in all of them to an extent. You even stated at one point that this was just your personal theory, so I don't understand how this conversation has turned into such a shit-fling. I would suggest you be a little more open-minded and consider the possibility that when women offer an opposing viewpoint or express insight about themselves (or post links to articles that speak to or make sense to them, or supports their ideas), it's not "feminist propaganda" and don't shrug it off like it's nonsense. If you posted an article supporting how you feel and your experience as a man, you would want everyone to consider it objectively and not pass it off as mere masculine drivel with no bearing on reality. Women are women, men are men, but we're individuals and traits dominant in one gender are present in the other. People are born breaking the mold every day, especially in this age.

[Link]