Hey All This is my first post so not sure if this is the right place to post or what. I am curious what people think about this. When I was younger before I ever had sex all I heard was how women want everything soft a gentle in bed. Romantic and sensual. No rough stuff! After I started actually sleeping with girls I noticed that wasn't necessarily the case. In fact most of the women I have been with seem to prefer the more intense kind of sex: Hard thrusting, dirty talk, hair pulling, a little slapping, etc. Of course all of that mixed in with lots of kissing and great eye contact. If anything the gentle stuff was more of a change of pace that was fun, not the norm. Have any of the men or women on this sight noticed the same thing? Do you think it has always been this way? Has the high visibility of porn effected people's taste or am I just randomly meeting the girls that like this already? Women who like this do you feel you are in the minority? It has always seemed weird that all the advice I heard when I was younger was just so different from my reality. BTW I'm not trying to hate on anyone's sexual preferences just so you know. Whatever gets you off is good in my book. Thanks. Topic Moved by - killbillvol69 on Jun 1 2011
I think for most women it depends on the mood. There are times I want to be loving and gentle with my husband and other times I want to fuck his brains out. Simple as that. I DO think however that in this day and age women are more likely to watch porn and when we find an actor or actress we really like, we have a tendency to want to try something we've seen them do. Yes, I am straight and yes, there are female preformers that I think are fun to watch. When I look at them I'm not so much turned on by them or their bodies, I'm turned on by what they might be doing.
I would say it really depends. Ex: Liked it gentle. Hard to get her in the mood. No to anal, no to cum in mouth, no to swallowing. The only hard thing was doggy style. If she had let me I would have picked her upside down and made her blow me (she was really light). But yeah nothing. Also, she was disgusted with porn, refused to watch any of it and also disgusted with sex stores or sex toys. Current gf: While she has reservations about sex (some silly cultural thing which will pass with unfortunately a wait period), everything else has been pretty open so far. Lets see (we've been dating for 3 months to give it context). Blowjob, multiple times. Face fucking (its awesome, I do suggest it). Sex tape of her blowing me. Her swallowing. Cum facial no hesitation. Calling her a slut and whore. Finger in ass (she's scared of anal, we are working slowly to it). Hair pulling. Pictures of her naked. Easily turned on, I just push her to the bed, no hesitation or I suck her tits. She's been my slave (usually involves me getting her to blow me and swallow and gargle my cum through her teeth. Recently I said, cum in mouth or facial, she said facial, as I know she prefers that than in her mouth, at the last minute I say "I change my mind, its going in your mouth", she looks at me and says no, I say, open up, she opens her mouth, I unload, its great, there are smiles). Also she is indifferent to porn and yes, get this, she thought it was real, she didn't know it was acting. Would explain why all the above to her seems normal (as she puts it). So yeah, quite the difference. On the one hand, miss super gentle, or the other, miss fuck me rough treat me like a slut. Personally I think it depends on the relationship and the openness of it. In the one with my ex, I knew what I wanted, but what she wanted was different, only did I know that I liked rough (and that a girl could like rough) till I met my current gf.
See now that seems really interesting. I have wondered if this is not more common now than in the past. If not necessarily thinking it was real at least that it was kind of standard operating procedure. I say this because I recently dated a girl for a short time and our sex was like what you describe from the get go. I ended up ending it because our schedules and physical distance between us made meeting up very difficult and she was extremely upset. Saying I led her on and that "I was making love to her not fucking her and that there was a difference." I know that rough sex can be extremely emotional but it just sort of caught me by surprise when she said that. Though she was a little kinkier than your average girl, I have seen a similar (if not quite as intense) attitude about rough sex from many girls I have been with. @jac is there a difference in age between your current gf and your ex? @SexShopGrl Yeah of course you have to switch it up sometimes. Eating the same meal everyday gets boring so to speak haha. What you say about women watching porn makes a lot of sense though. I am glad to be a guy during a time that women can get so many naughty ideas haha.
@phenemol ex: 21 years (she'd be 23 now). current: 24 years for both of them, I was their first kiss/sexual experience. I think the main difference is: openness and communication and how you are in other aspects of your life together. I tend to find if the other areas are going well, then the sexual side is good also.
@Rod I totally agree. Also depends on the girls. Both of the girls I've mentioned, they had not seen porn prior to me introducing it to them. The first hated it, the second took it for educational value. I definitely believe porn has allowed for evolution in the bed room, and should only continue to do so.
To me that's funny, because porn didn't teach me anything. Granted, I wasn't doing DAP in real life, but that was from a lack of interest, not imagination. Maybe it's just that kids are getting hold of porn these days so they don't get the opportunity to use their imaginations - it's all right there in front of them in living color.
I think kids talk and they're influenced by what they hear others say and do. I think positions and types and numbers of partners and oral and anal and lots of different aspects of sex have been influenced by porn. I don't think it really matters who watches it. It's in the language and it's reflected in the experiences that are shared in the locker rooms and behind the bleachers and in the back seats of cars everywhere. I see it in the couples I film.
I assumed for some reason that the one who liked it rough would be substantially younger and have more experience with porn. Well you know what they say about making assumptions haha. That is interesting so the second girl had never seen any porn but liked all the stuff they do in it anyway. Did she like it before she had seen any porn or was she more like "lets try that"? Not trying to be too personal but I guess even though its only a sample size of two you have the perfect situation to consider when thinking about this question.
Is there anything that is anatomically possible that you won't find in the Kama Sutra? Perhaps porn's influence is in bringing all those things people were doing already out of the closet. Now we believe everybody else is doing it, too.
The girlfriend wasn't experienced at all. A kiss to her was a big thing. I just kept testing boundaries. For example: I just said to her one day, I'm going to show you something, then I showed her porn. From her reaction she wasn't eeked out like the ex was. When I turned it off, she said, "turn it back on, this is interesting". We watched one of Evelyn Lin's scenes. She seemed to take some educational value in it. Though it must be said she liked it when between one man and woman. Threesome's and bdsm on video turned her off and she wasn't comfortable with viewing anal. Being able to see my girlfriend get into the porn was pretty cool and she doesn't mind if I watch any. Though I don't really anymore, because I prefer having fun with her. The fact she didn't realise it was acting till I told her (later on) was lucky for me, as when it came time for her to blow me, she thought it was normal for a girl to suck on a cock. I'm glad even after she knows porn is acting, she still enjoys it (porn and blowjobs that is). Feel free to ask questions, you are not being too personal. Just exploring sexuality here. Next thing sexually is exploring on how to help her deep throat and take it in anally. Time and patience :) Something I have noticed though. I think in public girls want to think they are nice, when in bed its another story and the pretense is lifted and they become who they really are (some want it gentle and some want it rough).
Just because KS has been around for a long time doesn't mean the general public is familiar with it or thinks others are doing it. Porn has become some common and sex in general is still a taboo for some. I think Porn has become a way for some to learn about what others are doing and what they should be trying. That's influence.
To reply to the original question, it varies of course. It depends on the individual woman, and the mood she's in. Just from my experience however, it seems that the women I've been with like more aggression and I guess you could say roughness than we are often led to believe that woman are into. Like you said. I don't think that aspect of what women like in bed has anything to do with porn. However, I think porn can put ideas in your head. For example, I am fairly certain I would really love having a girl swallow my load even if I had never seen swallowing porn (Which I am a big fan of now). On the other hand, the idea of making a girl shove my cock in her throat and gag was probably put in my head by porn (But I don't do that much). So to sum it up, I think a large percentage of the population probably enjoys some things instinctually, like aggressiveness on the part of the man and hard thrusting. But other things probably cum from porn.
I am really into real life stuff rather than what porn offers. I strongly think porn does not follow real life, and as a matter of fact, now, porn has sometimes dictated how we have sex. I grew up in the 70s/80s; when porn was hard to get to. My GF was a surfer girl; we were both innocent and were very open about exploring each other's body. She did not moan, groan, scream, and try to perform for me or act out the sex. We both hated fake stuff and pretending to be overcome with sex, and that is what made the difference. We felt this desire to try out each sex act and actually tell each other how it felt and both participated in the act in a innocent 'clinical' type of way. She smiled and laughed throughout and we always had the best sex ever. We did this a few days a week for two summers and during the school year. We never felt guilty or bad about sex, we knew we are having sex for the sex, and not for anything else - sometimes it was for selfish reasons, but it was O.K. with the other. It was fun casual adventurous young innocent sex, not a baggage filled guilt-filled marriage where performance has a weight on the relationship. I have some ideas how an amateur company can incorporate this type of sex into a newly created type of amateur reality, but leave amateur reality totally in the dust.
here's my take...sex in real life is great. Any time you can engage in consentual sexual activity with a real life/normal person is a good thing..However, l will go so far as to say this: porn sex is 100 hex better than real sex for 1 major reason; the fantasy there in is fundamentally 'costless'. That's not to say that porn or a private entertainer don't cost money. What it does mean is through calculated & effective utilization of porn; onecould experience a truely "safe" orgasm. Face it; what we see in porn will most likely never happen to any of us in real life. So what better way to fulfill our sexual fantasies than to simply get off in the privacy, comfort & sanctity of our own domain.
Rather than compare the two, another way to consider porn is as just ANOTHER way to enjoy sex. They're both great fun. Have 'real' sex and have porn sex and have solo sex and have whatever. Just enjoy it. One doesn't have to be better than the other, they can both just be fun. Different experiences to be enjoyed with different advantages and disadvantages. Don't be too quick to discard adding some of the fantasy of porn sex to RL. If you go looking for something you may be surprised how easy it is to find!
Hmmm, interesting question, Sex in real life is way different than porn. Film simply can't convey the feelings that sexual partners have. Sexual acts are one thing, but feelings are another. When one is "in tune" with their partner the sky is the limit. I am more interested in the intimacy rather than the actual sexual act. I am open to whatever when it comes to sexual acts but I have to have an intimate bond with my partner. Without the inti mate bond the sex act is useless no matter how much the thought turns me on. If I am going to have sexual relations with someone I prefer it to be on a regular basis and a bit more. I had to bite my tongue as I did to some things recently with a girl who I talked with a lot but after we had sexe I haven't heard from her. It was very shallow, yet satisfying. With her I felt empty. Like I said, she didn't get back to me after we fucked. Now this other girl I am seeing is VERY communicative, our relationship has been crazy from the beginning. We started out just hanging out. Both of us were afraid to push anything further because we liked spending time together too much doing things we liked way outside of sex. So we got to talking and it wasn't only me but her, we both thought if anything progressed it would fuck up our fun time. and we really like our fun time. So now things have progressed, there is no going back but only forward. . I totally enjoy just holding her in my arms, we are totally open so that is cool, she see's another guy and I see another girl. Crazy, I just go with the flow.
Sex in Real life vs. Porn! Yeap that's a big issue for a post... phenemol. But from what you wrote in your initial thesis, we could rephrased better as "How nowadays Pornographic acts, affected real life sex" Hmm.. that's still a big issue. Very nice topic, very nice question indeed. Lots of room for discussion. Well I will start with some facts... coming from my experience... and not only! Porn, from the moment which invented, not only affected our private sexual life, but affected and continues to affects our life in general, our social contacts, our civilization, our technology, our culture. The industry of porn is gigantic and is based on sex and visual pleasure that is drawn from it First of all, we have to acknowledge the fact that Porn actors and actresses they didnt come from Mars. They are humans, like you and me and the sex they have is not supernatural, it can be exercised optionally by everyone. As the adult industry progressed over the years, people who worked in it, because they had exploratory spirits or they simply got tired and bored of the same thing over and over, were experimenting and they continue to experiment with different kind of sexual activities and fetishes. In term of this perpetual exploration, they gradually discovered, many truths, tricks or secrets about the nature of sex and its pleasures. Their goal was not only to bring pleasure to themselves, but to boost also the spectator's attention, in order to draw more profits. Some of those "findings"... were quite interesting, genuinely very ...inspiring and opened new horizons in our rather innocent sexual life. Some others they might look extreme, awkward or sadistic, but if they committed right in private, they can be quite pleasureful, in sexual liberated situations of course. If not, they may very well threat the very existence of the sexual relation. There are also a number of "activities" which they can be considered, part of a particular fantasy or a role playing performance. The last ones can turn exciting and creative or they can head the wrong way and become totally outrageous, abusive and unappealing. You must not overlook the fact that again because they are human, every director or performer can have personal sexual preferences, instincts, perversions or obsessions, which in the end will try to expose, beautify and decorate as much as he can. People, think of the adult scene as a big university! If you are a mature enough, smart and passionate student and of course you are watching a "spirited" professor, you will absorb the positive elements of the porn industry and you will learn a lot. You will turn all this knowledge into personal advantage and you will certainly be popular in the opposite sex. On the other hand, if your brain is not yet matured or you have sublime traces of psychological disorders, following the "wrong" professor, will nurse psychotic behavior and probably turn you into a sadistic raper or a pitiful sexual dumpster. ..to be continued ...
I try out porn moves all the time, some turn out pretty well, some not so much... I'd say a good % don't below in a relationship where you and your wife are equals. :)
Yeah, i like it a bit more intense usually. i tend to need a bit of pain with my pleasure, whether it's biting or hair pulling or just really hard fucking. However, gentle can work for me, given the right mood.
I love it hard and rough. But I like it soft and sensual. I also love a nice balance between the two, and even crossing over both sides to give a sensory explosion. It's great to keep her guessing. Porn hasn't changed sex for me, unless I'm filming it, then, I'm more concerned with the angles and looks. My tastes have certainly changed though, maybe slightly influenced by porn, but also my own changing preferences.
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My experience is mode dictates how they want it. My main girl likes lots of attention pre-sex, kissing, touching, sweet nothings and depending on how that turns her on depends on how she want's it, soft and romantic or rough and tumble. When she's realy horny throw the rules out because you never know what she want's and you need to figure it out as you go along. My other girl is always hot and horny and she loves being fucked hard and fast but in safe positions until a few months ago when she told me to fuck her on the desk, pull her hair and slap her ass. I guess girls are like men and go through stages of what gets em off or wanting to try different things.
In my experience, most of the women I have fucked like it rough...I do think a lot of it has to do with porn being so readily available these days..Women watch porn a lot more than they admit..It gives them ideas and they do eventually wanna act em out
