That is a really fabulous link, aybesea. I'm not sure if it's okay to quote from copyrighted material, so I would like to paraphrase just one of the things she touched on.
The standard model for sexual arousal that has assumed that sexual fantasies lead to sexual action, which leads to physical arousal. However, some people are not wired that way.
These people rarely feel sexual urges, but when they are open to the idea anyway, their sexual desire is awakened as a result of physical interaction. Their bodies tell them when it's time to be aroused, rather than their minds.
These people may comment that even though they weren't in the mood, once they got going, they really got going. People coached to "Just do it" have experienced relief that their lack of sexual urges was not necessarily a problem, and was not abnormal. This helped them to feel more sexual.
Damnit, that was an awfully good excerpt, a great link. It's dead now, and a search on msnbc archives doesn't turn it up. I am a computer bumpkin; does anybody know how to find the stuff that isn't up anymore, on a cache or whatever? Can anybody locate this for me?
This is a great topic, I went back and read many of the previous posts on related topics. I'm not sure quite how to explain all of the thoughts bouncing around inside my twisted mind but I'll try.
Making time for sex is really important. Both my wife and I work, so when we get home we relax, make dinner, she watches TV and I dick around on the computer. This goes on for about a week and then the weekend hits!! We always "pick" a day for our little game of Fantasy Playtime. As much as I'm tempted to I can't get into the details out of respect for her. But there are only a few rules for Fantasy Playtime and they are just common sense rules. The bottom line is ANYTHING GOES whether you like it or not!! The game works like this: we both take turns "being in charge." I get to do anything I want to her for 6 hours then vice versa.
Before we started playing this game we had to explore our own desires in a kind of truth or dare fashion. Keeping in mind the whole time that we were just using the "Truth or Dare" route as a way to back out of something one of us might say that was too wild. Once the limitations were set we were on our way to Fantasyland in search of the perfect orgasm.
We are lucky enough to both be very open minded. We are able to surrender to each other with complete and total trust, seeking all of the fleshly pleasures life has to offer.
We enjoy Fantasy Playtime so much that we often spend all week trying to figure out how we can make it better. I've gone so far as to build a somewhat inconspicous dungeon in the garage.
In closing I would like to clarify that when I am "In Charge" it is not my goal to pleasure myself but to pleasure her. It is my duty to give her as many orgasm's as I possibly can, and vice versa.
Well that's the short version of my 32 cents. I hope it doesn't sound too, um, goofy?
RULE #1: Leave your sexual repression at the door!!!
The only reason I'm not going into detail is because I don't think there's anything I haven't already elaborated on in gory detail elsewhere. Poor Mrs. 60, she's a veritable legend and doesn't even know it. Is that disrespectful? I never thought of it that way. Don't give me baggage! I'll have to think on that.
By the way, ES, your Playtime method is an excellent way to help keep things from getting stale! I totally agree with giving what you get, too, but sometimes what my wife wants most is to please me -- am I wrong to take her up on that? That's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer that.
20% have sex fewer than ten time a YEAR? A YEAR??!!! I'd wither away. Sex is food for the soul. Marriage without sex is just...a roommate.
I think I've offered a couple thousand two cents worth in the first thread lindi referenced. Wow, I barely recognize myself from some of my old posts.
Speaking of moving past a sexual stalemate -- Oh, Mrs. 60 -- checkmate!!
EagleSpirit - what a wonderful post. I reckon if you ever felt so inclined you could make money writing a book on this! I especially enjoyed the bit about your makeshift dungeon in your garage!
