Kimi - everything matters

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Three fundamental ideas to deal with when tring to figure out how to drive a particular woman sexually crazy:

1) Ask her for detailed feedback. Be real enthusiastic about this.

2) Experiment wildly -- and look carefully for reactions. And ALSO ask her about her reactions. (Some women verbally express what they won't show, if you ask them right. Other women won't say what they'll physically show. Lots of diffeerences. Figure out how she feeds back best.) Also, don't necessarily place too much importance on (bad) initial reactions, if you have good reason to believe that it's something real hot if she gets more used to it. Can't emphasize that enough. Been through that countless times.But approached right, it's also real hot/fun to progress through.

3) Watch and read porn. Much of it is BS about what really turns women on, but some of it will give you good ideas. You need to appy an intelligent and experience informed filter.12

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True story... I once (ONCE) had a romp with a fella who was doing something I did not care for. I said "hey, I don't like that, why don't you do (this other thing)." he said to me "Relax, it's my technique, you'll get used to it." - I never bothered to speak to him again, hey, it's MY technique, he'll get used to it.

Why SHOULD she ever have to "get used to it", if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. If you're talking about a new introduction to anal or something, if she doesn't like it, your persistance is only going to turn her off to the idea altogether. Better to do something she does like, and let her lead you down the garden path, than to get weed killer sprayed on you.

Kimi - used to it

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You're right of course.

What I meant is that sometimes something which isn't that much of a turn on at first, can be after a while, or if you work up to it. But you sure as hell better be doing other stuff most of the time which is working.

I myself can't believe I used that wording! I can see how you read it the way you did. Isn't what I meant. I shouldn't have said a bad intial reaction. I meant more like a lukewarm or unsure one. I sure didn't mean just do the same thing in the same way regardless of reaction because it's "your technique" and it's worked with someone else. I meant don't necessarily give up the whole area but try a different approach if you're getting luke warm feedback. That's what I meant by experimenting wildly. Unless it's clear that the whole area isn't going to go anywhere.

If she's got something she likes instead you're crazy to not do that for her. It's much better to build on a foundation of what is working, and then experiment together. The object after all is giving each other pleasure.

I feel like editing it, but I guess to have your objection make sense, I won't.

If it's something like anal (which is what I had in mind), then it seems to me try doing things she does find pleasurable first, like sqeezing her butt, stroking it, progressing to rimming after pussy licking, etc. Slowly build up, keeping it pleasurable. That sort of thing. Lots of people think they won't like it who eventually do, or don't like it because of bad prior experiences that were too all at once and brutal. There's a whole thread on that. Of course if she's just dead set against it, that may be that. Or if you're together long enough, maybe you can work back around to it eventually, after a whole lot of trust is built up.

--dexplorer, feeling weed killer all over himself

Edited by - dexplorer on Oct 16 2001

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No worries deplorer, we understand what you meant now...we'll put the torches back on idle.

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