How do you guard against HIV and STD's in your personal, non-swinging life? Do non-swingers always use condoms?
I can tell you that I have never, ever in my life fucked anyone but my husband in a swinging situation without using a condom. I use them every single time. All of the couples that we are close with and play with are exactly the same. (Our swing club provides condoms and lube free in every single possible location they think you might be fucking.)
One of the biggest differences in swinging that people forget about - it isn't like a bunch of single people going to bar and hoping to hook up.
Single guys go to a bar and meet a girl who ends up going home with them, right? There are a couple of possible scnearios here:
1) neither of them have a condom, but they are so turned on or so drunk they fuck anyway;
2) the guy doesn't want to wear one (who does?) and gets her to fuck him without one;
3) they use condoms.
Neither of those two people are accountable to anyone else.
In swinging, you are team dating - it is a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend together. They are both accountable to each other. The wife won't let her husband go off and fuck someone else without a condom, because if he gets something so does she! That guy is accountable to someone.
That makes all the difference in the world.
I know swingers from the 60's free love generation who don't want to use condoms (I know plenty from the generaton who do too). We don't play with those people. The generation of 20-30 year old couples - all of them I have met in swinging use condoms with other people. That doesn't mean all of them in the world do, just like not all single people do.
The more sex you have in your life, the more you are at a risk to contract an STD. That goes whether you are single or a swinging couple. The only solution - use a condom.
I think it's a really interesting subject. Another thread in the Sex Talk forum asks 'what is your oddest sexual experience,' and I have to say that mine was thinking of my girlfriend with another man and actually getting turned on by the idea.
I was always of the opinion that intimacy, emotions, and that powerful spiritual connection made during sex was the closest you could ever come to another human being... and that sharing that with other people would only demean that bond, but, in reality, two people who love each other, are explicitly honest about their feelings, and that share their experiences... can still retain that connection.
It's all about trust, honesty, and sharing. I think you have to admire the relationships that a lot of swingers have.
Selena, You got me interested in the swinging thing, and my wife and I have been talking about checking out the club. I've had threesomes before i had her and she was always a little jealous and always wanted to try to be with more than one person at a time. I just wanted to know when the evenings are, where couples could check out the club without having to do anything (which I guess you really never HAVE TO) or if there aren't specific nights. Also, I am a photographer, and I know it might be absolutely inappropriate, but I am wondering what the rules are on photography at that club. I of course understand if it's not allowed, but I figured I should at least ask. Any reply would be appreciated.
First, the photography question - cameras are not ever allowed. Anyone trying to bring a camera in would be caught- it would be confiscated and they would be removed from the club and banned from ever coming back.
Swing clubs are very strict on that to protect their patron's privacy. Swingers aren't porn stars - they are regular people who in their real lives are judges, policemen, teachers, business people, ADT posters, lawyers, etc. They don't want naked pictures of themselves fucking other people to turn up anywhere. And, it hasn't happened yet.
Second, as far as first timers "checking it out" - you can do that any night. You never have to do anything at a swing club. Our club is a real club with a dance floor and DJ, bar, food area, etc. You can come together and hang out in a total cool place and watch other people get crazy. The play areas are separate from the club. You can be a voyeur the first time, you can jump right in and get involved the first time. Everyone is different and everyone is respected.
Go back and check out the very beginning of this thread for the post on "How to Check Out the Swinging Scene".
One man's trash can be the next man's treasure. 1187 Posts 1/04
Posted - Aug 22 2011 : 6:12PM
I was going to start a thread on swinging and found this one using the search feature. It started in 2003, 8 years ago. I was going to ask a few questions but Selena Silver sort of explained some of the protocols of swinging. What some of us would like to read about is other people's experiences. Feel free to contribute, please do. I went to a swingers party in San Diego when I was 25 back in 1979. My neighbor, one of those people you'd rather never know, was a topless dancer and always hustling somebody for food, gas, rides, money, something for nothing. I used to go to Black's Beach, the nude one in La Jolla a little north of San Diego. She wanted to go there because an old boyfriend lived in San Diego and went to swingers parties. The idea was for us to go to Black's Beach and then the swingers party. She didn't get nude at the beach, she wore a tiny g-string, I don't know if it was because I was there or not. Whatever. She made it clear that she had no interest in having sex with me, explaining that there would be 2 or 3 dozen ladies, some of who would like to do sex acts with guys like me. OK. I didn't know I had to pay $50 to get us in, they had catered food and a bar so it covered expenses or something. When we got there off she went. They gave me a list of dos and don'ts which I read and intended to follow. People walked around in various stages of undress, some fully nude, some clothed. A lady asked me if I wanted to join her and her husband. When she explained that all she would do is give me a BJ while her husband fucked her, I could not have intercourse with her. I declined. I was sitting in a chair drinking a beer and a nude lady came up to me and asked me if I wanted to fuck her. She must have been 20 years older than I, there was some cum oozing out her snatch, I found that to be a little gross so I declined that invitation too. The place was a mansion, there was an olympic-sized swimming pool in the back yard, some folks were swimming and lounging around the pool, a couple of couples were doing it, it was a little dark and hard to see. Being a nudist, I got naked and went into the jacuzzi which was unoccupied. I was there for about 10 minutes when a fairly attractive, small-breasted, dark-haired lady asked me if she could join me. She did and we started to talk. She was disgusted with her husband who was having sex with some gal this lady couldn't stand. She told me she liked threesomes and was open to other women or other men, but not that lady her husband was enjoying. I wasn't too delighted with my circumstances either. We started sitting closer to each other. She sat on my lap and was humping my leg so I was feeling her up and getting aroused. We got out, found a towel, and had anal sex in the grass. She specifically wanted anal, she told me she wanted to have her husband put a finger in her ass so he'd know she'd done anal with a guy. Apparently, she didn't do it often with her husband, she said he wanted it a lot more than he got it. Her way of showing how pissed off she was with him was to let him know another man had anal with her. We hit it off well, we were sort of cuddling each other when we were done and her husband found us out there. He wasn't too happy with her either and he looked at me and asked me how I liked fucking his wife. "She's special, you're lucky." I thought the guy wanted to punch me but when I stood up I was 6 inches taller, at least 50 pounds heavier, and 10 years younger so he thought better of that. He grabbed her by the arm and off they went. I got dressed, went back inside, ate some food, drank another beer, watched some porno, VCR's were brand-new back the., I let a lady suck my dick while we were watching the smut which was fun but my neighbor found me and wanted to leave. The gal I was with was fun to fuck so that part was great, the blow-job was fun too. Several people I chatted with were pleasant enough that was OK. Having to spend an hour and a half listening to my neighbor tell me how much fun she had as we drove home wasn't much fun. I didn't know her old boyfriend was black, I didn't give a rat's ass but she kept telling me how big his dick was, how she loved to suck it, sit on it ad nauseam... Anybody else have a story they'd share with the rest of us.
i havent had many swinging experiences but can say a LOT of women ive been with have. here in queensland there are 3 or 4 swinging clubs here in brisbane and again 2 or 3 down on the gold coast if not more. its becomming very popular. however a lot of the people who go dont swing as such, more go with someone and watch the other couples or have sex with a partner and let people watch them... i think its possible to have a great married life while swinging as long as people can communicate their feelings over it. the couples that will last are the ones who can openly talk about sex, their likes dislikes but also things that turn them off and worry them. i think i could do it quite easily with the right person
^What an interesting poster, one of the best threads I have read on ADT. Did stinkfist ever go to that club in the new year of 2008? And amazingly his link still works, updated too. Edited by - Jonny Jay on 8/23/2011 4:12:25 PM
Jonny,i never went i was going to be going with a friend but the friend backed out.I could go to other swingers parties that are well listed in the UK or even to somewhere like here ladymarmaladeparties.com or the swingers clubs dotted all over the UK.Single guys can attend but i think you get more action if going as a couple to swingers parties etc.
This was my experience when I went looking years ago. I was all happy when I discovered there were sexually adventurous couples who would take other people into their bedroom. I went combing through the ads everywhere I could find any and absolutely none of them were interested in single men. In fact, most of them went out of their way to say "Single men, FUCK OFF".
Large group experiences have included GB, orgy, swinger and nudist events. GBs cater to single guys. One example was basically a room full of guys and one girl picked the five/six she wanted and her BF filmed it in a back bedroom. The rest of the guys sat around in the living room watching porn or went packing while we played. Another was a cross between a GB and orgy. Similar setup except more than one girl meant one main event in the LR with her husband filming and several one on one or two on one (or more) parties in the other rooms. This one involved a payment at the door to the host and everyone got to play (except the host's wife was on her period) with people coming and going throughout the evening. Swinger events have been more informal and involved more nudist activities and less public sex. Most of the nudist events range from organized to not. You mentioned Black's Beach in San Diego. The biggest dick I've ever seen was on a white guy at Black's Beach. He and a girl were running on the beach and she was holding the end of his dick like a leash while they ran! I never saw it erect, but that rope was very impressive!
No progress yet blossom? I think you should open a thread that is more like a blog - about your adventures to try and execute your DP. I know you'd have a loyal cult-like audience lol.
Nice thread and I am interested in that you mention some swingers clubs allow singles and those are the kind most guys want to be involved in I would think. Personally I would like a situation where I could merely watch all of the great bodies having at each other and eventually everybody orgasming be it twosomes, threesomes or orgies. Are there any clubs out there that cater to us? And in such a situation would it be possible for the viewers to not only watch the proceedings but also to jerk off or in the case of a lady simply watching rub their clits to orgasm. The latter situation would be nice but not absolutely necessary, the watching of sex acts with vigorous people with nice bodies is what would be the ultimate in sex watching in my mind.
The Edgewater West Adult Resort in Oakland, CA specialized in this type situation. They had sliding glass doors in each room that opened onto the common areas of the hotel that allowed guests to watch if the door was closed, and join in if the door was open. I think the Edgewater closed.
Actually, I stand corrected......three more hard things, both your nipples and your clit. That should make for a time enjoyed by all. (and if I was one of the guys, both my nipples would get hard just before, "I'mmmm... cumming!!!" :-)
My wife and I have been in the "lifestyle" for about a year now...we don't do it every weekend, but try to do something related about once a month (that doesn't mean sex...it may simply be a club, party or meeting a new couple). We've had a GREAT time so far. As for the poster who asked about single males...well, yes, they are a "dime a dozen" - but the problem for us is that every single male who contacts us either a)sends a photo of his "junk" or b) tries to tell the wife how much better he'll be in the sack than me. How is that a turn-on for either of us? Seriously, we'd be open to single guys if they showed us any sort of respect - so that's why you get the "FUCK OFF" responses! Don't get us wrong, some couples can be exactly the same...but we try to avoid those types. The reason couples generally are drawn to other couples is because they're in the same situation...there's less concerns about drama if you're with someone that's like yourself. Anyway, hope that answered some questions!
One man's trash can be the next man's treasure. 1187 Posts 1/04
Posted - Sep 2 2011 : 2:47AM
I don't have much experience with it, I remember the list of do's and don'ts they gave me when they asked me if I'd been there before and replied, 'No.' They had private rooms and public rooms. The private rooms were not to be entered without permission, makes sense to me. The public rooms were couples, 3-somes and 4-somes switching off, things like that and some guys around the perimeter masturbating while watching the action. I looked in one briefly, the sounds and smells of sex were evident, but I was hoping to find a 1-on-1 thing with an attractive lady. I was only 25, most of the folks there were middle-30's on up. Nobody was really ugly like 50 lbs. overweight, some of the ladies didn't appeal to me at all, I don't like tattoo's, implants, or petro-chemical hair. It cost me $50 to enter as a couple because we weren't members, it was $25 IIRC for member couples, $75 for members there as single men, and I do remember it was $100 for single men not members, they were allowed in but folks kept an eye on them, they don't tolerate inappropriate behavior and single men cause the biggest headaches apparently. Single women, the most desired folks, were $10, which probably didn't cover the food and beverage bill. Outside was anything goes, nudity was rampant, there was lots of sexual action outside in the grassy area and on the chaise lounges and on towels around the pool. The guys who wanted to watch more than participate were in the public rooms, or outside, the living room had about 5 couches, that's where some things got going. There was 2 bars there and folks were hanging around there, drinking, chatting, watching porn on the brand-new at the time VCR/TV setups. That's the only time I've been to a swingers party/club. I became a member of a nudist camp, they had some swinging there but I never participated.
I love your entire response and welcome to the forum!! In the past few years I've tried some of this threesome and swinging stuff, hasn't worked out to well. I guess my problem is that I would rather make friends than fuck partners, with sex being a secondary activity.
looks like a fb i have is keen on us experimenting with the swinging thing there are 2 different kinds here in sth east qld that seem very seperate 1. the swinging clubs 2. private sites where couples organise a night with another couple and they couple swap we are going to try both and see which way is more fun i think hanging with another couple, would be more fun. have a nice dinner, chat, wine then fuck...sounds great
I got an invitation to a swingers Halloween party at the shop the today. I was flattered but uit was kinda odd. The guy handed me the invitation and said "My wife and I are part of this group and we're always looking for new couples. Hope you can join us." My boss laughed at me because for once I was actually speechless.
WardqueenJanine - Another great reply and it is good to see you are in agreement that girls like swinging and having at others in a group setting just as much as guys, at least that is what I think you mean. And in this type setting do the ladies want to be doubled up on as well with two or more cocks and/or pussies on them? I would certainly think so and hope so as well.
>You're telling me that 99.9% of the women involved are only doing it for > their partners??? Sorry, but waaaay off. Nope. What I meant was 99% women wont like swinging and may reject it outright. The remaining 1% may do willingly or unwillingly. You can look at various female forums with loads of complaints like "my husband is pressurizing me to go swinging" etc. (never heard the other way round: wife pressuring husband). In this forum, there's only a handful of women out of which I presume one likes swinging? Edited by - shank on 9/11/2011 3:33:35 AM
There is only a handful of vocal women on this forum. But, I think you're wrong that only one of them likes swinging, or would be interested in having sexual partners in addition to her husband/boyfriend.
Can someone with experience tell me about women getting gangbanged in the swinging world? Like does it happen alot, whats it like, etc? Always a fantasy of mine to see my chick get gangbanged.
