Ms Christine & JC, the first couple of adult review.

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Welcome to the forum (and your gf)

First off, you're not the youngest.

Second, could you define 'normal' sex?

DenverDon

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Well i guess normal sex would be that which people who dont subscribe to the idea of porn etc. have.

You know, Missionary, the occasional doggystyle, vaginal only. the traditional school of sex.

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Relationships usually start from 'normal' and progress. Mine did, and when I really got into porn I found out that a lot of what I saw I had already done. You learned some of it from porn, that's great too.

If and when you need to start another relationship, you simply can't expect it to start at the level of the gf you broke up with, but probably need to travel down some of the same roads again.

Just don't set your expectation too high at the start, but work at it 'together' in your new relationship. Hell, she might even show you a thing or two.

DenverDon

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keep posting please

ned

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When you've done all the "advanced" stuff, that can actually help the "beginner" stuff feel even hotter. My husband and I have been together nearly 14 years, and some days our sex consists of "only" manual and oral stimulation. It still feels fantastic (and very passionate), because it's reminiscent of those sweet, intense early days before we'd gone "all the way." Other times, of course, we do the odd positions, whip out a toy for DP, etc.

Variety is GOOD.

I guess my question is, why are you already worried about the next girlfriend when you've been with this one for three years and are apparently having one heck of a good time?

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I got married when I was 20 -- this Valentine's Day will be the 14th I've been with my wife (as for setting the bar too high on gifts and love letters and poems and dinners and what all -- get back to me on that). Just before we got married, we were still in school (well, I had just dropped out), had no money, no car, no jobs, and a baby on the way.

She had the baby, I went to the Big City and got two minimum wage jobs my first day looking, she moved up with me, we got married a couple of months later, and we made it all work. I worked while she went to school, she worked while I did (and became Daddy Day Care for the first two years of my daughter's life, something I wouldn't trade for anything).

I don't expect you to do what I did, but I tell you this because by the time I was your age, I had graduated with a CIS degree from a technical school, got an office job with benefits, had a two year old and was celebrating my second wedding anniversary. You can do anything you put your mind to, don't ever believe otherwise.

Man, those were some fun days, I tell you. We didn't have money, but enough to pick up a "French Maid" costume or a pair of sexy boots here and there, a toy, ... the games we played. The places we fucked! Poor kitchen table. Poor bathroom sink. Outside against the house. heh

If you're in love, and she's the one, don't let some pansy ass excuse like lack of money stop you. You're just rationalizing.

Don't rush into anything, either... [stern look]

Stick around -- educating you is gonna be fun! [rubs palms together]

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I don't think you particularly need to worry about any of this. It's very unlikely that you'd ever run out of things to do or ways to pleasure each other. If what you're currently doing starts to become less stimulating (and the relationship is otherwise healthy), it's likely that you'll automatically seek a new balance. Maybe you'll have less sex for a while but will come back to it with renewed interest. That's happened in our relationship, with no lasting harm.

My personal opinion is that it's also good to cultivate a sex life with yourself (masturbation) in addition to the sex life with your partner. It's unrealistic to expect any partner to meet all your needs and desires, even when things are going very well. Your fantasy life can help bridge that gap if/when you find yourself in a situation where your partner is not quite willing or ready to do the things which excite you.

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....pssssst...while that's awesome advice, email me some day and when you're ready, grasshopper, I'll teach you the black belt shaolin temple super secret hidden monkey jumping bean technique, OK?....sshhhhhh!

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sorry couldn't resist.

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Great discussion so far, and i thank all of you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

Im not rationalizing my situation by leaning on my college status as a crutch. the situation is complicated, as she has a 4 year old with another guy (look up dead-beat in the dictionary anda you'll see this guy's face). I have taken her daughter in as my own and love her like my own, ive been there for her growing stages, talking, losing the bottle, learning to walk, losing the diapers and becoming a big girl! i was there on her first day of pre-school this year, and she made me proud (SHE DIDNT EVEN CRY!)

However, i am also finishing my B.S. in Marketing/Mgt this year, and im not saying that money is any type of excuse, hell i dont know what ill be doing in June, ill graduate in may and ill be looking for a job in the "real world" (whats this place like anyways? lol). When i meant money, i meant i cant even afford a ring lol, you wanna talk about lack of money, im talking $21 in my pocket right now, and about $48 in my checking account lol.

We make things work, she works full time and we try to support each other whenever possible. is money an issue? it never has been, when i was referring to money i specifically meant money to buy a ring. fuck everything else after that, i know we can make it work.

Back on topic, I guess ive anwsered my own questions in this thread, as i DO plan to marry her, and ill never have to worry about "normal" sex ever again. Hell in the words of my GF "I just gave you A2M, that must mean i really love you huh?" yea, shes a keeper.

Yoga, thanks for the excellent insight.

Cobalt, thank you aswell and I admire your drive and determination given your circumstances.

You guys have really made me feel like part of the "family" here at Adultdvdtalk.com.

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I wasn't fishing for compliments, but thank you -- those were the most trying and formative years of my life. It sounds like you've got a pretty full plate yourself, and you're handling it with (what sounds like) maturity and a great attitude.

....yes! she's a keeper!

Not to be hasty, we barely know you, but you sound like one, too.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....hell, it's getting thick in here. PISS MOAN BITCH DEATH DISEASE ANGRY BOILS

(You'll get used to that, AB)

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Forget the ring. It's nice and icing on the cake and I can understand that it can mean something personally, but that is not what makes a marriage.

What makes a marriage is not a piece of paper or a ring, but what's in your mind and heart.

DenverDon

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Oh boy, should I unleash the "forget what you think other people are going to think and say about you, and 'appearance for appearance sake', and the fucking status quo -- and do what you know in your heart is right" series of rants?

(Nah, save some for later. Patience, cobalt.)

Did I mention my four month old daughter was AT my wedding, and we got an old black preacher from the courthouse steps to come up and do the ceremony for $20?

Know what he said instead of "you may kiss the bride" -- he said "go'n get you some sugar".

Don't be a slave to some societal or familial obligations or sense of propriety or what the hell ever -- this is YOUR life, and it ain't no dress rehearsal.

[oops, wrong anniversay]

Edited by - cobalt60 on 2/12/2004 3:28:05 PM

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I know it shouldnt stop me, however I also know that her, as well as every girl in todays society has dreams of the "perfect" wedding. flowers, rings, bells etc etc.

I want nothing more than to give her this :) However, she has also hinted that a diamond ring would be a plus. Is she stuck up or demanding and nothing less than a diamond ring will do? of course not, she would be more than happy with whatever i gave her, as it is from my heart. well, you can see where this is going. point is, She's worth it, that was never in question. Am i ready for marriage? ya know ive spent many a drunk nights at the bar talking to the older ladies and gentleman of society asking them their opinion.

Funny, id be kicking back a beer at the bar, id see a woman or a man at the stool next to me with a ring on (im far from shy) so id strike up a conversation and ask them about marriage etc. id share my story with them, give them my situation and ask them their point of view. ya know, its the damndest thing, id get a different opinion everytime! anyways, all this marriage talk is gonna make my head explode!

Again, i hope to stick around here and learn as much as i can from the older crowd, at the same time, id love to help you get the insight of the "YOUNGER" crowd, because im sure as hell you guys cant figure us Generation-Yer's out!

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She's probably got that idea (and you, too) because it's taught to little girls (and we hear about it) by well-meaning women who may lack a little imagination (uneasy ground here, trying to be tactful), and people who want to sell gowns, flowers and catering services!

*SMACK! SMACK!*

Now get loose with me for a sec, and think outside the box; picture us sitting in a bar. You see my ring, and strike up a conversation about marriage. Cheers, AB.

(I'm only ten years older than you, don't give me that Gen Y crap; this shit's universal and important, so listen up)

Now, maybe she'd like something different and just doesn't know it yet. Have you talked about it? Have you even suggested something outside the pale and let her know you'd consider a wedding that was something different from the way everybody else does it?

You may not care, but I damn sure didn't want "what everybody else does" - and now I have a nifty little story to tell.

Run this up the flagpole and see who salutes: if she's willing to suck your cock after it's been in her ass, she should be willing to think outside the box for a non-traditional wedding!

(Just ignore that, you're new and you haven't been exposed to all this cobaltish nonsense yet. I'll try to slow down.)

If you know what she wants, then DO THAT ! As to my previous rant - disregard. Make her happy; that's rule #1: rule #2 is "see rule #1". Do that, and communicate. A lot. Openly, honestly and without shame. Naked, vulnerable and unafraid. And buy her a damn diamond, if it's that important. It just burns me up to hear people putting their life on hold for want of material things when all we've got is NOW and EACH OTHER. Sure will be sad when you die in a car wreck a single man because of want of a ring and a church wedding...but I think I've hammered that point to death now.

We'll get back to the advanced sexual techniques later. You're not ready, grasshopper. I've obviously still got quite a mindfuck to do on you yet.

OR -- say OK dude, enough's enough, leave me alone! But you'll never find out what I can tell you about 13 years of monogamous fun, either. Your call...

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Its cool, i can handle it! But first buy me another round of Guinness.

Let me note:

I said i know that HER as well as every other girl (broad assumption, there are exceptions) want that typical "wedding"

Following your rules of Cobaltism:

Rule #1: Make her happy (ie. Give her the wedding of her dreams, whatever that maybe. traditional or not) She has expressed a desire to have a wedding of her dreams, it is my goal to give it to her :)

Rule #2: see #1

Ok, I admit our communication on the subject still needs some work, but right now we are JUSSSSSSSST starting to talk about our future plans.

I dont know ANYTHING! i admit this, however I DO KNOW that I love her, and I'll do all in my power to show her my love

Wow, talk about getting sappy. uhhh, so anyone see the 6 on 6 fight between the oilers and thrashers last night?

And I am ready for the advanced sexual techniques that the shaolin master posesses.

Edited by - agent boost on 2/12/2004 3:57:00 PM

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You have shown you possess the required strength of character to continue.

Learning to rely less on assumption and more on what comes out of each other's mouth is an important step, one I stumbled on this AM at work and it bit me in the ass. It applies to more than relationships. Assume nothing!

Now, while you try to take the pebble from my hand, a heads up: I'm leaving you to our other friends for a few hours or days.

In the meantime, some of our international friends may chime in as the sun makes its way across the globe, and folks a lot smarter and wiser than I will be 'round presently for your erudition, I guarantee it. Fret not, young master.

Guiness on tap at this imaginary bar? Excellent! Next round's on the newbie!

...ooooooohhhh....shaolin secret hidden monkey jumping bean technique...YAAAAAH!

[bwooosh]

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Im open to others suggestions on the topic.

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Edited by - Matt47 on 2/12/2004 4:37:30 PM

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reinvent the perfect wedding. it's more fun that way. spending thousands of dollars doesn't make the day any more special. in fact, it makes it more stressful.

oh yeah and i'm with matt - being friends is the most important part.

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Yea, i would say we are best friends. Obviously she knows me better than anyone in the world (including my mother!) she knows me better in three years than my best friend of 19 years. we are friends first and foremost.

the A2M is definatly not an every day occurance, however its been known to happen on a drunk night or two :)

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You managed to avoid it for how long now??? ...Aren't you the wily one?

Deep down, I bet you know I'm right...you're rationalizing, and I totally understand.

I'll leave it at that. Gotta dream up the secret shaolin hidden monkey jumping bean technique.

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And don't worry, there are others of us Gen-Y'ers on here. I'll only be 24 this year myself.

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These things you have told us show it. Your marriage is happening RIGHT NOW.

A rubber stamp from a judge or a preacher does not make a marriage. Even a ring does not. Sure, have these things when you have the money, whichever of them make either of you happy, but your attitudes and your shared lives mean that this lady is already your wife, in every meaningful sense of the word. Life is now.

May all your best dreams come true.
licker.

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cz ring, 14K, believable, $75 incl. postage.

cz ring, moderate size and sweet, $25 incl. postage.

cz ring, showy, $35 incl. postage.
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Edited by - lindi on 2/13/2004 2:48:49 PM

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The DeBeers situation is sickening, and the markup is as well. It should be noted that the worlds LARGEST diamond mine was found last year in CANADA! larger than any south african ones.

All in all, if we do go the diamond route, it will most certainly be from an independent jewler. Fuck that, im not gonna have people dying for a ring.

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When you can name me at least four body parts you can attach this to and four parts of your gf you could use it on, you will well on your way to your green belt.

[bwooosh]

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Anyways, I plan on marrying this girl, but only will do so when I'm ready. If you currently have a lot of other problems (cash and school), then maybe the time isn't right for you right now. Getting a marriage certificate isn't a guarantee that your relationship will stay together. If you want a nice wedding, but can't afford it now, there is no need to get married now.

Thats my 2 cents.

Oh yeah, that 6 on 6 fight with the oilers/thrashers was great.

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