''The unexamined life is not worth living''

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People often push their limits daily without knowing it. It gives "us/people" a sort of rush. We even "push" our limits subconsciously, for example: Driving too fast, climbing to high on cliffs, swimming out to far in the ocean, taking a dare, reaching further than one should on top of a twelve foot ladder, running that extra quarter mile.

When some people "think" that limits are pushed to far it is often times a limit that they have never pushed or it's in hindsight.

When it comes to BDSM the "limits" are usually predetermined, the possible consequences weighed and then there is always the "stop" word.

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I think that we should make a distinction to people who get off on being submissive and people who get off on the amount of pain. I was reffering to the lastnamed group.

I knew about this, because my sister was in the scene(NO! Not as a mistress, but in the party scene. Her club was often hired for BDSM nights once a month).

''The unexamined life is not worth living''

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''The unexamined life is not worth living''

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THE OUTFITS

I find the outfits out of this world, extremely sexy. Leather, vinyl, latex, rubber and lace OH MY!!!

I find myself particularily drawn to the look of latex, but nothing beats the smell of leather.

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A nipple can be manipulated in ways that would be painful, if you were to just do them out of nowhere. Pinched hard, or bitten, mere moments before the explosion of orgasm is not painful at all. It's exquisite .

It's balance. It's yin and yang. It's worshipping and being worshipped. It involves pushing, pulling, giving, receiving, wanting, getting, pleading, demanding, and reaching higher plateaus, always, of sensation, yes, and of trust. Of letting go. Of controlling and being controlled.

Good control requires restraint, but not too much. But not too little. It's about balance, and timing, and walking tightropes. It's edges and chasms, but with nets. But always, there is trust. There must always be trust.

A bite can be sensual, visceral, animalistic, primal. Or it can hurt like hell. It's also knowledge. Of limits, of anatomy. And empathy. True sadists are not welcome; always, always, always you must be aware of the sensations in your partner, and observant, and responsive.

A lot of people think it's about humiliation and degradation. It's not that for me. It's about getting her to say she wants to drink your load, and she means it. Not because you bullied her, but because she craves it.

And then you make her wait for it. Anticipate it. NEED it.

And when she gets it, she moans involuntarily with satisfaction. And you moan in sympathy.

It's about having the back of your head grabbed and your face used as a orgasm extractor. You may get called a bastard, if you're lucky. She might use you. But she'll love you, love you, love you, let you do anything, anything, anything at all...

She'll want you to take her, anywhere. She won't care where you put it, as long as you're inside her. THEN, you are in control. THEN, you can feel a sense of power, and gratitude, and humility. All at once. Even as you exercise your control, you are patient, always patient. You wait, you listen, you feel, every breath, every muscle, every hair that stands on end.

It is intensity. It is sensation. It is sight, and smell, and taste. But more, it is your world. She is your world. The rest of it, all of it -- gone. No worries. No past. No future. Just her, and you, and now, and the crescendo that's building up again...

Like that?

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Right, ES? I'm not trying to steal your thunder, btw, just egging it on...I happen to like this topic.

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Edited by - lou sapphire on 2/19/2005 1:30:53 AM

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One instant that I recall is when I found the mother of all floggers made by a company called Achella. This was back in the "Bondage" section of a local sex shop that was very busy. People just gave me strange looks as they knew I was going to buy a 150 dollar suede cat-o-many tails.

Another time someone looked at me "as a freak" was when I wanted to buy some "suspension cuffs." They just didn't understand that regular wrist restraints wouldn't work.

I find that many people don't understand how BDSM can be highly erotic and are so quick to label somebody as a "freak."

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Fly your freak flag high, brother.

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Over the weekend one of our lesbian couples had some very light bondage play. Nothing more that cuffs behind the back. But add in the dildo penetration and apparently we're over the line.

Guess what? I don't care. My position is it can't be obscene if you shoot it on film!

-T.C.

Comstock Films: Films For People Who Like Sex

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