Three in a bed?

Author	Post
Bobcat Senior Member 1490 Posts 2/08	Posted - Apr 17 2008 : 1:13PM I'll cut straight to the chase; I've been flirting with a female co-worker, turns out she's up for a threesome with my gf, I thought I was just being polite and friendly with her at first, I didn't think she was serious but she is. My gf has told me that when she was a teenager she had a few sexual experiences with other girls but we've never mentioned anything like this! I would REALLY like to give it a go, or at least ask her if she would like to. This is what's giving me such a big headache, I don't know what she would say (she has met the other girl), if it was just "no" I would forget about the idea but what if she bursts out in tears and is horrified by me asking, I'm thinking our relationship could be damaged forever.Then again she might say yes, she has in the past always been "up" for most things. I'm finding the whole issue is on my mind most of the time, I somehow need to resolve it, one way or the other. Has anyone else ever been in a similar positon, how did you start the ball rolling? [Link]
kataboom master blaster ad astra per aspera 995 Posts 6/03	Posted - Apr 17 2008 : 2:44PM it will take some time but know how to drop hints & lead a theme. for example if you are watching a movie & there is a cute girl on screen & she mentions something...it could be positive or negative but just mentioning something about another female is your "in". just get the general idea in her brain. dont press. let it ferment for awhile. once she thinks about it, i bet she will be much more receptive when you say "hey, so & so at work" thinks you're cute". so what you are doing is combining the general idea of her thinking about other women to focusing the idea on a certain female. i could write forever about this. just take it step by step. [Link]
Bobcat Senior Member 1490 Posts 2/08	Posted - Apr 17 2008 : 3:45PM Thanks for the advice, I was thinking along those lines but she's pretty savay, if I spend 2 weeks dropping hints then ask her I think she'll put two and two together, then I'm faced with, "so this is what all the how pretty is she and do you think she's cute crap was for." The girl from work is separated, single and available, for how long I don't know. I'm really stumped by this, I honestly wish I wasn't interested but I am! [Link]
ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06	Posted - Apr 18 2008 : 7:12AM ask her flat out. if she cries and is horrified, there's probably something behind her emotional outburst, so ask her what it is. talk through it. if you hook this up, take photos for the forum, please. [Link]
TheLoneGunman Member 400 Posts 10/03	Posted - Apr 18 2008 : 12:08PM Do you forsee a LTR with your current girlfriend? If so, don't ask. She might be game for it, but she almost might not see a long-term future with a guy who would ask her to do such stuff. Proceed at your own peril. [Link]

Bobcat Senior Member 1490 Posts 2/08	Posted - Apr 18 2008 : 2:34PM TheLoneGunman wrote: Do you forsee a LTR with your current girlfriend? If so, don't ask. She might be game for it, but she almost might not see a long-term future with a guy who would ask her to do such stuff. Proceed at your own peril. Click to expand Yes, marriage! The initial buzz I got from the idea is starting to go flat, if it happend I think it would be great sex (for me at least), as a guy its no big deal, i'm thinking this isn't the case for women though? There's the emotional side of things, it would mess with her head, right? If I really want ffm sex it makes more sence to pay two hookers than involve someone I love? But them thats not the same, part of the attraction of this was to see my gf having sex with another women, the more I think about it the more complex it becomes and the more I think I need to forget about it! Then this little voice kicks in "what if she wants to do it and enjoys the experience", everbody could win. ARRGHHHHHHH. [Link]
ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06	Posted - Apr 18 2008 : 9:03PM Bobcat wrote: as a guy its no big deal Click to expand speak for yourself. i wouldn't do it. [Link]
kataboom master blaster ad astra per aspera 995 Posts 6/03	Posted - Apr 19 2008 : 6:38PM Bobcat wrote: Thanks for the advice, I was thinking along those lines but she's pretty savay, if I spend 2 weeks dropping hints then ask her I think she'll put two and two together, then I'm faced with, "so this is what all the how pretty is she and do you think she's cute crap was for." The girl from work is separated, single and available, for how long I don't know. I'm really stumped by this, I honestly wish I wasn't interested but I am! Click to expand with your response i realized "hints" was a bad term to describe it. any intelligent woman can see through simple hints. hmmm lets use...thematic conversation. lol [Link]
dmzline Member 43 Posts 8/07	Posted - Apr 19 2008 : 7:04PM It seems most threesomes don't work in the long run, someone always gets jealous. But you never know, so if you really want to do this then ask your girlfriend if she's thought about a threesome and go from there. You seem like a straight up guy though, and wouldn't be hurt if she said no, which is really the worst that could happen. Sure she could get mad about the question or horrified at it, but from what you've said that's unlikely and if she does get upset then you probably need to talk to her about the reasons she did anyway. The only bad side I see is this is a coworker, someone you will have to see everyday after you've had sex. And your girlfriend will know you see her everyday. That's the biggest problem I see. [Link]
TheLoneGunman Member 400 Posts 10/03	Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 11:16AM Also, keep this in mind: Let's say your girl agrees to this and it happens. Now, down the road, she comes to you with a guy she knows who wants to have a threesome with the two of you. You owe her, so you can't turn her down (which may or may not present a problem for you, I don't know). [Link]
Pagoda Senior Member Thread Killer 1747 Posts 10/05	Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 9:21PM dmzline wrote: The only bad side I see is this is a coworker, someone you will have to see everyday after you've had sex. And your girlfriend will know you see her everyday. That's the biggest problem I see. Click to expand I don't think this is the only bad side, but I agree with this statement. There are a lot of ways this could turn out badly, even if clear ground rules are set prior to any encounter. You do need to come right out and ask her how she feels about threesomes in general, and find out the circumstances that she'd find agreeable. Personally, if I were to have a threesome, I'd want the third party to be somebody my lover and I couldn't care less about. [Link]
katsirk Member Crush on Greg....mmm 812 Posts 7/06	Posted - Apr 22 2008 : 9:49PM Bobcat, communication with your girlfriend about all aspects regarding sex is extremely important, especially if she is a keeper. Experimenting with others, having a threesome, is fine, but you would be making a big mistake going into it with a co-worker on so many levels. If your girl is cool with doing a threesome with someone, it is very likely that a female co-worker of yours, a girl you see everyday, isn't what she has in mind. [Link]
HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:04AM And then what if things went sour with the coworker and she talks badly about you at work to everyone else? A girl might do that! Not because of anything you did or didn't do in bed or how good you were, just gets pissed off and trashtalks. There is a saying: don't shit where you eat. [Link]
katsirk Member Crush on Greg....mmm 812 Posts 7/06	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:37AM ^ Exactly, so like I said, on so many levels. [Link]
BSD Senior Member San Diego, CA 2508 Posts 11/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 5:31AM Pagoda wrote: Personally, if I were to have a threesome, I'd want the third party to be somebody my lover and I couldn't care less about. Click to expand PAGODA - Uh Pagoda, uh, I believe that would be me. I do believe that I am the insignificant peon for the job. Call me. Smile. BSD P.S. - Unless, your threesome sexual fanatasy includes me interacting directly with your man at some point while you watch. In that case, I would have to politely decline. [Link]

Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 12:59PM BSD wrote: Unless, your threesome sexual fanatasy includes me interacting directly with your man at some point while you watch. In that case, I would have to politely decline. Click to expand That's selfish of you if you ask me. You've gotta give to get, right? [wink] [Link]
BSD Senior Member San Diego, CA 2508 Posts 11/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 1:44PM Bob wrote: BSD wrote: Unless, your threesome sexual fanatasy includes me interacting directly with your man at some point while you watch. In that case, I would have to politely decline. Click to expand That's selfish of you if you ask me. You've gotta give to get, right? [wink] Click to expand BOB - You are correct and have exposed yet another of my character deficiencies. My inability to indulge in the love that dare not speak it's name. Please forgive my selfish imperfections, God is not finished with me yet. Smile. BSD [Link]
Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 1:50PM BSD wrote: God is not finished with me yet. Click to expand Now that is poetry -- I'm writing it down for later use. [ROTFLMAO] [Link]
BSD Senior Member San Diego, CA 2508 Posts 11/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 2:25PM BOB - Before you get carried away, I can't take credit for that one. I'd heard that phrase zillions of times in the black vernacular when I was growing up. The church, both of my grandmothers, lots of other old folks. Jesse Jackson uses it publicly from time to time when he's excusing somebody or apologizing for something. It IS a good line, though. BSD [Link]
Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 3:21PM BSD wrote: Before you get carried away, I can't take credit for that one. I'd heard that phrase zillions of times in the black vernacular when I was growing up. Click to expand Having not grown up with that vernacular, I remain happy to give you credit vis-a-vis me. Almost everything has been said before, but timing is always unique. [Link]
cobalt60 Knuckle Dragger 2046 Posts 2/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 3:38PM Bobcat, please have your gf post about her previous experiences with other girls (preferably in lurid detail) so that I can even begin to assess the situation accurately, much less helpfully. (Pictures wouldn't hurt, either. Of the co-worker, and the gf. Just so we know what we're working with.) I promise not to jerk off to them, if that helps ease your mind at all. Scout's honor. But seriously, dude - I hate to be another naysayer, but from what I've observed it (usually) does not end well. That's not to say that it can't, but I've been as close to it as the next room, and the aftermath ain't ever pretty. Sometimes it takes years for the jealousy to come out, but it always does. ALWAYS. You find me a woman who is secure enough to think that you don't wish you were fucking every other woman you ever lay eyes on from here on out if you do this, and won't bring up that you ACTED ON IT in every fight you get in from here on it until the end of time, and I will spontaneously combust. I promise! If I don't, I will soak myself in charcoal starter and light myself on fire. Or, if you go the other way and share a woman with another man, she will forever be a whore in your mind, whether you like to think you're above all that shit or not. It's just the way most men are wired, and the way we're brought up. I ain't saying it's right, I'm just saying. But I don't want to be the one saying "I told you so", so pretend I didn't. And have fun! Edited by - cobalt60 on 4/23/2008 3:41:25 PM [Link]
Bobcat Senior Member 1490 Posts 2/08	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 4:52PM Okay this is how this shit works, if you've been in my position I think it will have been the same for you! For two days after my "saucy" conversation with the girl at work I was buzzing thinking about the possibility of what could happen. Now that I've come down from my adrenalin rush I can see that its probably best not to push for this. The idea is losing its appeal for me, I think for this sort of thing to work it needs to be spontaneous, Like at a party or something. Cobalt, I have posted a pic of my gf on another thread, I think she's too big a catch to risk losing. Ps, fella if you want to jerk off over it, then its fine by me, hehe.;) Edited by - bobcat on 4/23/2008 7:17:02 PM [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14594 Posts 3/02	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 4:54PM cobalt60 wrote: Or, if you go the other way and share a woman with another man, she will forever be a whore in your mind, whether you like to think you're above all that shit or not. It's just the way most men are wired, and the way we're brought up. I ain't saying it's right, I'm just saying. Click to expand Three-ways? Four-ways? Been there, done that; never called a woman a whore in anger. I called a few bitch, I'm sorry to say. [Link]
tricia_devereaux Evil Angel DVD Patience is a virtue, but who wants to be virtuous? 4283 Posts 4/00	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 8:23PM I just had a guy friend ask me if it was cool if we made a night out this weekend a threesome with a mutual guy friend. I was like 'fucking hell ya' until I realized he was just talking about the 3 of us going to see a movie he and I were going to go see. Dag-namit. [Link]
Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 9:48PM ^^^ Like you couldn't get it if you wanted it! [Link]

stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07	Posted - Apr 23 2008 : 9:54PM I have had a three in a bed before,god that bitch had a split personality. [Link]
cobalt60 Knuckle Dragger 2046 Posts 2/03	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 10:42AM Hardware wrote: cobalt60 wrote: Or, if you go the other way and share a woman with another man, she will forever be a whore in your mind, whether you like to think you're above all that shit or not. It's just the way most men are wired, and the way we're brought up. I ain't saying it's right, I'm just saying. Click to expand Three-ways? Four-ways? Been there, done that; never called a woman a whore in anger. I called a few bitch, I'm sorry to say. Click to expand You're not like most men. Having me remind you of that would be absurd. It's funny when some one per center tries to write himself off as mainstream. You want to live like common people? You want to do what common people do? Remember, everybody hates a tourist. [Link]
cobalt60 Knuckle Dragger 2046 Posts 2/03	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 10:46AM I, for one, when sharing my wife with another, would probably say something to the effect of "have at her! Good luck thinking up something I haven't already done to her a few hundred times! And if you do, I'm taking pictures!" I'm a magnanimous guy. But it ain't always about me, dig? Of course, it really is all about me, but for appearance sake, I'm trying to broaden my horizons and actually be helpful over here. Don't you have some quoted text to go fix or something? [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14594 Posts 3/02	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 11:34AM cobalt60 wrote: You're not like most men. Having me remind you of that would be absurd. It's funny when some one per center tries to write himself off as mainstream. Click to expand Ooh, gettin' snippy, are we? I'm at least a ten percenter! The best ten percent, of course... (sticks nose in the air). You should have seen the crowd I hung out with when I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed sexual novice. Some of the antics those boys and girls got up to made your average porno look like Sunday in church. [Link]
cobalt60 Knuckle Dragger 2046 Posts 2/03	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 12:30PM Hardware wrote: You should have seen the crowd I hung out with when I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed sexual novice. Click to expand I felt I was being generous making you part of the elite one per cent! Fine, drop it down from one to ten, then. Be less special. See if I care. And I believe I have seen that crowd - was it the '70s? I saw more naked hippies by the time I was three than anyone should ever have to. Ack. [Link]
Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14594 Posts 3/02	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 1:34PM The elite aren't the one hundred and ten percenters. I just knew those damned jocks were lying to me! Edited by - hardware on 4/24/2008 1:34:34 PM [Link]
kataboom master blaster ad astra per aspera 995 Posts 6/03	Posted - Apr 24 2008 : 2:22PM stinkfist wrote: I have had a three in a bed before,god that bitch had a split personality. Click to expand hahaha [Link]
TheLimelight Member 25 Posts 4/08	Posted - Apr 28 2008 : 3:41PM There were two times in my life when I had threesomes, both were with the girls I was dating (and engaged to in one case), and their friends. While the act itself was fun, it had a terrible outcome in the end. The girls ended up hating each other, and almost hating me. I ended up hearing about it for YEARS afterward from my girlfriends. Get 2 escorts in Vegas, if you really want to experience it. [Link]
redhead Member Not so redhead these days... 718 Posts 1/08	Posted - Apr 28 2008 : 9:44PM Just be honest with her. Let her know you've been thinking about it for a while and tell her about your co-worker who 'might' be keen. Talk about it in a blase kind of way but also in a 'this could be a great one-off experience for us'. And make sure there's no pressure. She can only say no. [Link]
Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 2:00AM redhead wrote: She can only say no. Click to expand Yet there are so many ways in which "no" can be said -- some mercifully brief; some mercilessly elongated. [Link]

TheLimelight Member 25 Posts 4/08	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 2:57PM Bob wrote: redhead wrote: She can only say no. Click to expand Yet there are so many ways in which "no" can be said -- some mercifully brief; some mercilessly elongated. Click to expand Ain't that the truth!! [Link]
Pagoda Senior Member Thread Killer 1747 Posts 10/05	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 7:40PM The reason I'd want the third party to be a stranger, particularly if it were a woman, is because I'm extremely jealous. It's a character flaw, I can't help it. When I think of my husband with other women, it enrages me. I even wake up from dreams about it, kicking the shit out of him, and he yells helplessly, "Who did I fuck this time?" On the other hand, I think I'd be just fine with Mick sharing me with one of his male buddies, but only if I found that guy physically attractive. In fact, that's the fantasy I'd most like to realize in real life. I know he doesn't have the same jealousy issues I have. He's all about making me happy. If he sees me having a good time, it will make him feel closer to me afterwards. [Link]
Bob All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 9:06PM Pagoda wrote: I even wake up from dreams about it, kicking the shit out of him, and he yells helplessly, "Who did I fuck this time?" Click to expand Priceless! [Link]
cobalt60 Knuckle Dragger 2046 Posts 2/03	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 11:08PM Pagoda wrote: On the other hand, I think I'd be just fine with Mick sharing me with one of his male buddies, but only if I found that guy physically attractive. In fact, that's the fantasy I'd most like to realize in real life. Click to expand My wife has said similar things about the stranger business, and about the friend business. She even had one picked out - the same friend who every woman who has ever been around wants to fuck (and many of them do). I have had to hear about or see him flaunt his girlfriends for nearly twenty years, many of them friends of friends, or women that I lusted for myself. Gawdamighty damn, but he has had some hot women. It sucks. He sucks. Fuck him. I hate him. I would never let him near my wife, even if he is "the one she would most likely fuck". Yeah? Get in line! He's not only good-looking and fairly intelligent and has a tolerably agreeable personality, but he happens to have an enormous dick, too. He's difficult to be friends with sometimes. The bastard. What was the question again? [Link]
ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06	Posted - Apr 29 2008 : 11:26PM probably has lots of STIs too. [Link]
Tech Member Make me a bicycle Clown !!! 35 Posts 4/08	Posted - Apr 30 2008 : 6:03PM A Good 3 Way Fuck can be amazing but be forewarned if your girl is the jealous type and you love her you have to way your options. I've had several threesomes myself. time 1) girlfriend got jealous and we broke up afterward 2-5) all with friends and booty calls so no problem (amazing times) 6)Was with my current fiance back when she was was my girlfriend. we did it with one of her slutty friends (stupid me) and she was a bit jealous after, but our love was more important to her so it took her a little bit of time but she got over it and now we are engaged. The others replying are right. You have to build it up slow and gage her reaction if your not sure you dont want to fuck up a good thing over some pussy...unless of course the other chick is a model and then well...fuck it. [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - May 14 2008 : 4:43PM Is she into girls at all? Have you two watched 3-way porn scenes? What does she think of that? If she likes watching, she might be open to the suggestion of trying it. Edited by - Clam Digger on 5/14/2008 4:46:51 PM [Link]
Recoil Therapy Member Deep in flyover country 194 Posts 10/04	Posted - May 30 2008 : 11:14PM Coming late to the party... Co-worker? VERY bad news. With combining your private & working life you have managed to screw yourself royally if either one of them ever gets pissed off at you. If your GF is even the slightly jealous type, she'll be creating mental situations of the other two of you at work - not good. A threeway isn't a bad thing to bring up while she's still in the "GF" stage. If she has serious problems with the idea & it is something that you really want then there may be problems down the line if it isn't discussed/explored now. Doing this however opens up the possibility of her wanting a MMF in the future (something to keep in the back of your mind if you have real problems with it). All that said, threeways are great fun but probably won't live up to the fantasy. More than likely, someone's going to be left out of the action somewhere along the line. Either you're going to be sitting on the side of the bed wondering why she's enjoying the other girl so much or she's going to be sitting there wondering if you like the new girl more than her. At this point your best bet if both of you really want to do this is to find someone that you don't have any emotional/daily contact with. As a disclaimer, Mrs RT & I have a good friend (to both of us before things happened, she's also unmarried fwiw) that we've been sharing our bed with off & on for 20 years. With us/her there is very little FF contact (which means that I have to work my butt off on those occasions) & all of us know that there is nothing more to it than a rare night or two of fun (we talk all the time but she lives 10 hours away, get together once every couple of years, sexual stuff suspended whenever she has a serious boyfriend (who over the years & through a variety of guys have never visited with her)). In this particular case we all know each other well enough to know what each one wants out of the relationship (friendship first, a wild sexual night thrown in every few years just for the spice of it) with nothing threatening between us. It can work & can be fun. However with a co-worker is a bad idea. Additionally, if it is something that you want to do, let her set the whole thing up so that the other woman is someone that she is comfortable with the thought of you screwing. The more long term you think your GF is, the more comfortable she needs to be with the whole idea. RT [Link]
Beavis69 Member 278 Posts 9/04	Posted - May 31 2008 : 6:05PM Tech, just wanted to say thats the best/funniest avatar I've ever seen ! :) [Link]
katsirk Member Crush on Greg....mmm 812 Posts 7/06	Posted - May 31 2008 : 11:23PM Love the RT post... [Link]
killbillvol69 All-Star Member ^Lucy Pinder 18631 Posts 4/08	Posted - Jun 1 2008 : 1:32AM Okay so I had a situation kinda similar to Bobcat's so here's my 2 cents: Here's how it went down. Coworker of my gf hangs out with her a lot, so I see her fairly regularly, one day gf asks if I think coworker is pretty. "Hell yeah," I say, because I'd never had a problem telling gf who I think is pretty before, and she never seemed to have a problem with me telling her; "I'd gladly do the two of you," I say, testing the waters. "Really?" Gf says, with a look that could probably best be described as half-curious and half-mischievous, "do you think you could handle that?" And that's when I realized: No. Hell no. I'm barely man enough to satisfy one woman in bed; how the hell would I be able to make it happen for two of them? So I dropped it, and never brought it up again. Because I figured the only thing worse than a woman looking at you after sex with that "is that all?" look on her face would be two women looking at you after sex with that "is that all?" look on their faces. [edit: typo] Edited by - killbillvol69 on 6/1/2008 1:34:08 AM [Link]
Clam Digger Deactivated User Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good. 2268 Posts 1/05	Posted - Jun 1 2008 : 11:33PM [Link]
EvilMonkey Member 55 Posts 9/06	Posted - Jul 10 2008 : 4:25PM killbillvol69 wrote: Okay so I had a situation kinda similar to Bobcat's so here's my 2 cents: Here's how it went down. Coworker of my gf hangs out with her a lot, so I see her fairly regularly, one day gf asks if I think coworker is pretty. "Hell yeah," I say, because I'd never had a problem telling gf who I think is pretty before, and she never seemed to have a problem with me telling her; "I'd gladly do the two of you," I say, testing the waters. "Really?" Gf says, with a look that could probably best be described as half-curious and half-mischievous, "do you think you could handle that?" And that's when I realized: No. Hell no. I'm barely man enough to satisfy one woman in bed; how the hell would I be able to make it happen for two of them? So I dropped it, and never brought it up again. Because I figured the only thing worse than a woman looking at you after sex with that "is that all?" look on her face would be two women looking at you after sex with that "is that all?" look on their faces. Click to expand I'd be happy with just watching, because much like you, I couldn't satisfy 2 women...I probably wouldn't even make it past watching them kiss each other. They call me pa. For pa-thetic. [Link]
Dombazz Member 27 Posts 7/08	Posted - Jul 19 2008 : 3:58PM Shiet what a dream position, go for it! Create a better connection between your co worker and girlfriend so they maybe could be friends. That would create a better relation and trust between you three. But the next problem would be if you let your other co workers know about this.XDXD Good luck [Link]