Some women are into them.

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Some men are into them, too, though contrary to some assumptions, some aren't.

Is your fiancee is trying to tell you something?

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Threesomes happen all the time off screen.

It's also probably (in general, but certainly not the case for every single person) the biggest fantasy there is.

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Indeed, 3somes and more occur all the time.

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What ObiBong said: Ask your fiancee what's on her mind.

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Vicariously,
Skronker

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SNP.

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From what I read on the net, the biggest problem is that emotions get involved in real threesomes, or one person eventually feels less than/excluded (especially if it's a single dealing with a couple.) So for us, it's staying safely in fantasy land right now.

If it turns on your girlfriend, do the right thing and whisper naughty stories/fantasies in her ear while you're making love. Go wild. Fantasies are the safest sex there is!

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I am a porn girl who ONLY got into porn because I had so much fun doing threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes in my personal life FIRST. :)

I remember at about 15 years old I started having a fantasy of having two guys at once. Not just "serial banging", but having a dick in my mouth while being fucked from behind. Then I started wanting to do a DP. I would masturbate to these images!

Unfortunately, my boyfriends would never go for it. They were always like "sure we can have another girl, but hell, no to a guy!" I didn't want any bi-guy action; I just wanted 2 guys for me. And, if they did that for me- I would have been totally happy bringing another girl in for me.

I got lucky a couple of years ago when I met my husband (then just boyfriend, of course!). He told me the day I met him that he was a swinger, and within a week of us hooking up, he took me to a club to have my first 2 guy experience. FINALLY!!!! I don't want to take up too much space, but if someone wants to hear that story...let me know.

I had never been with a girl before him and the next week we knocked that one out. :) I SO LOVE fucking women I can't explain it. It is NOT better or worse than a guy, it is a different experience. I would never "date" a girl (we are WAY too much trouble for me to put up with -LOL- although I TOTALLY understand girls who), but I love being able to sleep with them.

Not only do I not mind my guy fucking the girl we bring to bed with us, I actually get off watching it. Of course, I always get to do her first. LOL He doesn't mind watching me with a guy; he also gets off on it. Although, we don't take turns- I like it at the same time.

We had a live-in GF for a while (a whole summer), and it worked fine. She was both of our GF's - I was really sad when she went off back to college and was gone. I would totally do it again WITH THE RIGHT GIRL.

It all comes down to the rules you set up. Again, I have taken up enough space already - but if you want a description of the rules we think worst best FOR US (everyone is different), I am happy to post them. Because both of us ALWAYS follow the rules, it does not create jealousy, etc. it actually brings us closer together.

We have a fantastic sex life that will NEVER get old because we are always bringing new people into it.

If any couple out there is curious and wants to "check out the scene" without pressure, obligation, or negative environment - feel free to write me. I will write you back with the best places I know in your part of the country to find the experience (as long as I know).

It was because our sex life was so healthy, fun, and adventurous, we both felt I would make a great porn star. LOL So, NOW I am doing porn and am free to just get off in the scenes (which makes them look so much better for you) instead of freaking out because I am doing something on film I have never done or don't really like to do.

I guess the answer is - yes, threesomes happen in real life. :)

Did that female perspective help at all?

Selena Silver

P.S. - I do have a link to the swing club we belong to in the link section of my Yahoo group. If you visit that club, tell them I sent you. :)

Selena Silver
FANS: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/selenasilver
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS:
www.adult-selena.com

Edited by - selenasilver on 8/1/2003 1:05:49 PM

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I replied to your email with the information you were looking for, but it was returned as undeliverable.

Let me know if you have another email address to send it to or if you just want me to reply the question here. :)

Selena Silver

Selena Silver
FANS: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/selenasilver
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS:
www.adult-selena.com

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I'd be interested in hearing about anything you feel like posting about. People posting about their actual experiences and feelings is always a welcome prospect.

Welcome to ADT.

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Thanks for you kind words! :) So far, I am in love with ADT. I wish I had known about this site a long time ago. Where else do porn companies, directors, stars, fans, critics, reviewers, and just normal over-sexed up people all hang out together???? Love this place.

I started writing an explanation of my swinging rules and realized it was covering way more than just this thread, so I started a new one so I didn't get in trouble by the moderators. :)

Here is the link to my thread on my swinging rules:
My Swinging Rules.

Selena Silver

Selena Silver

FANS:
Selena Silver Yahoo Group
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS:
Selena Silver Booking Info

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The threesome thing turned out to be just a short-lived phase for my fiancee. She decided that it's not for her after all, and she and I agreed never to bring it up again. I didn't think she really wanted that in the first place.

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I realize that it's none of my damn business, but . . .

As someone who's been struggling with marriage for 14 years and counting, I'd say that the one thing a couple should never agree to do is not to bring up an issue again. That path leads to disaster, in my experience. If an issue needs to be raised, it needs to be raised. Issues that need to be raised won't stay buried, can't be buried in a healthy way by oath, pact, or willpower, and tend to unearth themselves in the most inconvenient, painful, and messy ways.

That's not to say that this particular issue will come up again, but merely that rules limiting communication in a committed relationship tend to be destructive.

My two cents, for what it's worth.

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"Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law" - Aleister Crowley 1875-1947

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I do believe that sex, threesomes, swinging, etc. all comes down to the type of person you AND your partner are, the rules you agree on, and your ability to stick to your rules.

I have had many successful threesomes with my partner with both girls and guys. The overwhelming majority of them were just sex that night and we move on- there was no potential for "feelings", etc.

We both have our rules clearly comminucated, we are both people who can handle the other one with someone else (as long as we are there too), and it works for us.

We have had a live-in girl friend as well. We didn't intend her to be; she came to visit for a week of fun and ended up staying for three months.

The key to that was knowing that I was married to my husband and she was OUR girlfriend. You certainly would not want try that with somone that is not bi. Because we were all getting equal attention sexually, it worked. We were very sad to see her go off back to college at the end of summer.

I would expect it would be harder to do with 2 guys and a girl (assuming that the guys are straight).

Don't jump into threesomes if they are not for you- they have the potential to harm your realtionship in that case. However, don't assume that they are wrong for everyone else either. They happen successfully alot more than you may think.

I already posted the link earlier in this discussion, but for any newcommers, my peek for you into the world of swinging and swinging rules is available on another thread on this site. (Link in post above).

Selena Silver

FANS:
Selena Silver Yahoo Group
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS:
Selena Silver Booking Info

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As for threesomes in particular, Asmodeus is right. They can wreck long-term relationships. That would definitely happen if my fiancee and I had one (for reasons I've already mentioned). And she would have been against it in the first place if I was the one who wanted one. It would only sound like an excuse for me to fuck another woman.

I'm sure that threesomes do work for some couples. But my fiancee and I aren't one of those couples.

Edited by - Myload on 8/5/2003 7:20:07 PM

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If both of you have gotten over it, now and forever (which may indeed be the case), the issue simply won't come up; you don't need to agree in advance on the rules. By contrast, if the issue doesn't come up because you've made a pact against bringing it up, all that shows is that you're both abiding by the pact, whatever else is going on inside each of your minds.

Your independent exercise of your own discretion to not bring up certain issues that may upset your partner is another matter entirely. In that case, you make the call and you either reap the rewards or deal with the detriments, as the case may be -- but there's no conspiracy of silence between you.

Silence, denial, and dishonesty are the great relationship-killers. Although the poison may be slow-acting in some instances, it's still deadly as hell.

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Never bringing it up again is not the same thing as never engaging in the activity. Yes, it may be extremely prudent to never go so far as to have a threesome if you think it's not the thing for you. However - denying the fact that one or more partners has thoughts in that direction is bad. You should most definitely discuss what turns you on, even if you don't do anything about it.

One of the worst things you can do is have repressed desires / keep things bottled up. While the sentiment of not talking about something in order to avoid confrontations that result when you do talk about it is a good one in theory, in practice it's just as bad as having the problems. (In other words, avoidance is just as bad as hostile confrontation.) You need to figure out some way of discussing it without getting confrontational. If you just rage at each other the problem remains; if you ignore it altogether, the problem remains. So you need to find a healthy way of dealing with it that isn't at either of those two extremes.

The only reason that people are responding to this, I think, is that you didn't say you'd agreed never to have a threesome (perfectly reasonable), rather you said you'd agreed never to discuss it. (Which just buries the problem and allows it to fester.)

Then again, you may have actually meant you'd agreed to not discuss actually doing it, rather than to not discuss the fantasy in general. In which case you can ignore everything I'm saying here. In fact, you can ignore everything I'm saying anyway! <grin>

Edited by - Mythsong on 8/6/2003 12:30:16 AM

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By the way, I didn't mention this subject just because I wanted to get a response. I wanted to write what's on my mind. As since this is a porn message board, I felt this is an appropriate place to write about this topic.

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My husband doesn't have a threesome fantasy, but every once in a while, I tell him that my very wet hand on his dick is 'the other girl's mouth' while I'm kissing him. Just for fun.

Then there's dildo dp's.

Many people have fantasies that are impractical or actually literally impossible, and are things they would never want to do or even see in real life. If you realize they are just fantasies, and can indulge them as ideas without being threatened, it's just a bit of variety.

A threesome fantasy can just be a metaphor for being ultra-desirable, or ultra naughty, or whatever. It isn't necessarily a desire to betray anybody.

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Don't worry about it. :) It is very cool that you and your significant other took the time to explore something. The development of this whole thread was obviously VERY interesting to a lot of people. So, you sparked a great discussion- that is it.

As we discuss threesomes, it is just a bunch of people talking about threesomes in general; we aren't talking about your specific situation or whether you should or should not have a theesome.

Thanks for starting something so interesting! Now, you have closed your book on it- which is totally cool - and if we continue talking about it, know we aren't talking about you two - just good old threesomes in general (which means we will probably talk about me LOL)

P.S. - to everyone else, can someone PLEASE help Sir Noel Plum have his first threesome!!! What a great post... "not for lack of trying". Someone! Please??!!!

Selena Silver

FANS:
Selena Silver Yahoo Group
PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS:
Selena Silver Booking Info

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I'll fly over tomorrow and make your fantasy come true . . . if your GF's game and YOU promise not to touch me.

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But only if I can make video footage of it.

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A bloke at wotk had a threesome a few years back (him and 2 girls) and I asked him how it went. He told me that although he enjoyed it, the 2 girls weren't into each other so it wasn't as good as he imagined. My friend went on to say that he remembers thinking during the event that he'd be able to have some good follow-up wanks over the next few months thinking about what was going on

Special thanks must go to the lovely Selena. With such thoughtfulness you are like the Mother Theresa of the porn world, only better looking and with sexier outfits

SNP.

Edited by - Sir Noel Plum on 8/7/2003 11:34:01 AM

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Easier and probably harder, also. To echo Selena, I hope you didn't feel "shelled" by the responses to your posts, mine most especially. It's risky to start a topic, particularly a "personal" one, and I applaud your bravery. You gave a gift to everyone on the forum who participated in or read the thread.

So now that you've gotten your feet wet, jump back in the water again soon. We'll all be the richer for it.

In the meantime, thanks for this thread!

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i'm not sure how i would feel if it was with someone i love. what about with some friends, or two friends that happen to b married? a few of my friends pop in my fantasies with this in mind. i'm sure it's just a pipe dream though.

cheers

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I'm actually not sure what question this thread was answering, I was just blabbing and I'm sorry if I fouled the topic up.

ned

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Would you believe that my fiancee still wants to go through with a threesome? Yes, it's true. I still think it's a disaster waiting to happen, but it's something she wants to do. I still don't see how it would happen without knowing another woman, let alone one who would be a willing participant. I could never go through with this. There's way too much emotional baggage that goes along with a threesome.

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Myload, you mentioned as one risk that your fiancee can't watch you fuck somebody else. Then why would you? If I were in that situation I'd do ANYTHING to make sure that my wife's feeling didn't get hurt. If that meant not touching the other girl at all I wouldn't. In my imagination it's most important where you attention is (mental, eyes, hands, words)... And I'd say the "extra" person should have the least reason to be hurt over being "ignored". Still the risks are big.

Risks, in my mind:
- What if she didn't go out of her way to protect my feelings the same way?
- What if she discoveres she actually likes women much better than men?
- If it turns into a recurring desire, how can you fulfill it without using the same girl and risking more emotions developing (for example, the two women meeting on the side...)
- If you didn't use the same girl, wouldn't it be a health risk?

Again, strictly hypothetical. I have no experience and it's not something that is likely to happen or something that I'm particularly interested in happening.

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I'll tell you, if the threesome idea came from me, I know that my fiancee would be totally against it, as it would simply look like an excuse for me to fuck another woman. Also, I'm sure that no woman would want to get involved with a couple, fearing the chance of causing problems between that couple. It only works if all the people invovled are single.

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