It's cleverly written (by David Stanley). I think this was the first movie for Lacey and Lyndsey, and it's a parody version of an E! True Hollywood Story, based on a fictional version of the Olsen Twins. Good idea. I'm sure these are exactly the scenarios envisioned by many a jailbait fan for all those years of the countdown.

Random observations:

*The most important thing to know is that technically, this is an even-worse-than-usual Vivid disc. Large chunks are out of focus, and there is some weird ghosting in the twins' one good 2-on-1 scene and Austin Kincaid's scene. It's really unacceptable.

*Like "Twindom", this movie is guilty of misusing the twins. One more time: SCENES WITH ONLY ONE TWIN ARE USELESS. It seems so obvious. Furthermore, when you put one of them in a b/g/g with Veronica Jett (who looks fantastic here), it's only going to accentuate her shortcomings as a performer. In that scene, all I'm going to want is more Veronica.

*The twins' fake moaning is really monotonous and annoying. I noticed that in their previous movies as well -- they need to work on that.

*In the BTS, one of the twins talks about how she thought she was doing poorly and was worried she was going to get fired off the set. Given that they are rookies, I felt a little bad about feeling that she was kind of right. It was an honest, vulnerable moment.

Bottom line: While the whole Olsen Twins thing is exploited well, I don't think this is the Love Twins movie to see.

[Link]

Sheepishly, I will begin by appearing to contradict the heart of what I said about the other three Love Twins movies I've seen. It opens with Lacey single-handedly seducing Steven St. Croix, her TV father. (Does that make him Saget? I never watched that show.) It's the best performance I've seen in any of these movies. The striptease and blowjob are particularly good and sexy. My goodness, you'd actually think she really wanted to do him or something. Where did that come from?

Next, Lyndsey takes on her TV brother, Chris Cannon. Stanley has written a good dirty line for her to kick off the scene with, but her delivery is terrible. And she pretty much goes through the motions in a bland scene. The good news is that Lacey returns to team up and finish him off orally.

The ol' twins-get-pulled-over-by-a-cop scene follows, and then there's a throwaway scene with Dillan Lauren. The grand finale is another one of those crowded orgies, throwing Austin Kincaid in the mix, but keeping the twins pointlessly separate again. The beginning of the scene, which is Kincaid initiating the action, is the worst example of the twins' body language -- they just don't look like they want to be there.

So the bottom line on the twins overall? They're pretty. They're horrendous with dialogue. Most of the time they don't project much enthusiasm. But guess what? They're twins. In the end, that's what matters most. Call me a sucker, but I'll be looking for "Joined At The Hip", which looks like more adventures in Las Vegas.

[Link]

The dual blow job scenes have been fantastic and oddly enough have been spoofed to perfection. Lindsay and Lacey’s tackling of Rick Patrick’s monster cock in Two Hot was by far its best scene. Even the twins side by side fucking while being bent over the living room couch was hot. They seemed to show more passion in their body language. I oddly enough like for them to be more verbal with each other during sex. I’m thinking a more vocal dialog between the two would add to the erotiscm. I just don’t feel any sexual connection between the two during their sex scenes other than their fantastic blowjobs together.

Their dialog seems forced at times as if they are reading off que cards or waiting to hear the next line. I know they are parodying the Olsen’s but they make those two look like Oscar winners. Maybe this is part of the parody fetish? The lines Paul gives them are good but the delivery is what is so poor. However I think the parodies thus far have been on the nose and who cares how they deliver them as long as they are filmed together.

I think their best scenes in the first two are the fore mentioned scene with Rick Patrick; the opening scene of the sequal where Lacey seduces Steven St. Croix, the tv dad, where one only wished she would drag Lindsey into the scene after she had gotten Steven hard; and the twins blow job scenes with Chris Canyon, the step brother, and Jack Lawrence playing the cop.

Here is an idea for Vivid’s The Love Twins next Olsen Twins porn parody. Have it filmed in the Olsen’s old home which ironically they recently sold and now happens to be used to shoot porn. A few studios have already shot there.

I’m thinking the parody could play on the idea of what might have happened in the house just before they sold it.

Title: Full Whore House

Plot: The Wilson Twins Lacey and Lindsey Love plan an all-girl sleepover party.

Casting: Vivid’s Love Twins, Lacey and Lindsey Love. Evan Stone and Angela Stone or Mary Carey as the parents. Hilary Scott, Haley Scott, Courtney Simpson, Leah Luv and Kinzie Kenner playing their friends. Steven St. Croix as the phone caller.

Possible scenes:

(1) Lacey and Lindsey prank call a guy (a teacher etc.). The girls have phone sex with the guy while their friends pleasure the two of them. The guy listens masturbating as the twins describe the sex acts.

(2) Pillow talk and dirty prank phone calls leads to an all girl sex-toy charged orgy.

(3) Pizza guy arrives. The girls are short of cash. Naturally the twins must service and fuck him to pay off the charges leaving the girls spent and greased with a healthy toping of extra cum.

(4) The twins and their friends roam the house to discover the parents bedroom door cracked open. Peeking in the girls watch and begin masturbating each other as the parents fuck in various positions on the bed (thinking possibly Evan Stone and Angela Stone or Mary Carey for the role).

(5) The girls call a few guys from the schools football team to come over and party. Their arrival leads to an orgy style fucking in the living room.

Hope Paul Thomas is listening

Edited by - BlackDog on 7/29/2006 2:55:12 PM

[Link]

The twins are attractive, but they just can't act. And I don't just mean that they have no idea how speech is supposed to sound, I mean they don't act sexy, which is the whole point.

In this edition, the extra-super-bad drawbacks are: 1) The whole "twin" aspect of things is undermined by giving the girls different hairstyles, and 2) so little care is given to the plot that they forget who's playing which character at the end. I swear, they had Evan Stone and Jack Lawrence fucking the wrong people in a foursome scene (involving just one twin and Jenaveve Jolie), and then instead of trying to rewrite to save it somehow, they just have Stone switch who his character is. You can't make this up.

[Link]

It's unbearably stupid. And the girls just seem dimmer than ever. Borderline "special". Dear god, it's awful. I feel bad for them. I feel bad for watching it. Ai-yi-yi.

The only relevant necessary information I'll impart is that the twins have three scenes -- all appropriately g/g/b, at least.

[Link]

I'm not a professional director or cameraman, but often I honestly feel like I couldn't possibly do a worse job capturing the action right than the directors and cameramen of such porn movies.

Edited by - eduardo911 on 10/13/2006 1:11:16 AM

[Link]

OK, on to "Two Hot".

It's cleverly written (by David Stanley).

____________________________________________

Obi, thanks for pointing this out. I think he just gets better in this regard, as evidenced by "Creme Brulee" and "Just Like That."

[Link]