Provided of course you even read reviews. I'm writing some scene reviews for an upcoming post and was wondering what you all think a good, solid review should cover? Has a positive review every swayed you to buy a scene and if so how? Is there any typical mistake review writers make that drive you crazy? Also, if any members who regularly write reviews have any advice or pointers, that would be greatly appreciated. Edited by - Mister Fahrenheit on Apr 17 2015
1. At least watch the scene. Some reviewers get even basic info wrong, making it clear that they didn't even watch the movie (or maybe they watched it, but only "out of the corner of their eye"). I have quit reading Don Houston reviews for that reason. 2. Yes, do note what transpires, but avoid a mechanical enumeration of what positions are used. Den was famous for this, and his reviews are helpful in that they establish a historical record, but they are certainly not compelling. 3. When production values are especially good or particularly bad, include this in the review narrative. Otherwise, forget about it. 4. Take the time to make your review short. Mark Twain once said, "I apologize for the length of this letter, but I did not have the time to make it shorter." Take that to heart. 5. Most important, put your soul (or cock) into it. Tells us how it felt to watch the scene. Consider only reviewing scenes that you found to be really good (A or A+) and then tell us everything that made it so good for you. Let's face it, most porn is boring and it's difficult to be inspired to write about boring material.
I regularly read porn-film reviews, because I don't trust some of the information on film-covers. Film-covers are like marketing advertisements. They often exaggerate some facts and minimize other facts, which tends to mislead you in a bad way. I'm especially interested in anal porn. And a lot of films say 'ANAL' on their front-cover. But such a label can mean either a little bit of anal for only some ladies. Or it can mean a straight-to-anal, all-anal for each and every lady. There is no standard at all for the 'ANAL' label. Which makes it hard to trust and believe. Ideally, I'd like to see each lady get a straight-to-anal, all-anal ride with her guy. Because then there is no dispute and no doubt about how well the guy nails the lady's nice ass. But very few anal films are this anal. Most anal films have at least some pussy-sex, and some have a lot. And that's where porn-film reviews become very useful for me. A good porn-film review tells me how much and how well each lady gets nailed. And I need a porn-film review to tell me this, because such information on film covers isn't entirely reliable or trustworthy.
Reading what I've got so far, it seems I'm very much into giving a play-by-play analysis so to speak. But I'm trying to make sure that my breakdowns, while detailed, aren't rote or mechanical. I'm trying to use evocative descriptions. I like the rest of your advice too. And Dan, when you say you like to know how much anal there is, do you mean in actual round numbers or just in a general sense?
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Dragon Sign Deactivated User
3381 Posts 12/13
Posted - Apr 17 2015 : 7:46PM
Lightning. Heat. Sound. Screen what so. Fellas capability. Babes also. Temptations whether hot or not. Environment as in hot or not. That's about how it goes.
Actually, Den was my favorite reviewer, before he passed away. Because he was cramming 10 to 20 facts into 3 to 4 short lines of text, when he was describing a scene in a film. His kind of a review was very quick to read, and it told you a lot about how much and how well the lady got nailed. This is the kind of information I'd like to see in every review. I'd say that the greatest value of a review is its credibility. You might get the same facts from the film cover. But these facts are hard to believe, until you get some confirmation from an independent source, such as a film review by a porn-fan. Edited by - Dan on 4/17/2015 7:51:18 PM
