That's just dead wrong. Courts will typically issue a restraining order if a person feels there is cause and can prove they have been harassed.

Look how many orders have been issued against the "stalkerazzi" for example.

No court wants to be the one which is responsible for denying a woman and/or her children a restraining order and then having her get killed.

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Nope I wouldn't call myself a psycho & sucking it up &
walking is the logical thing to do. I have moved on with
dating but it's not cool when someone fucks over you that
you had strong feelings for. Changed my life for this
woman & opened up like I never did before & then BOOM it's
over just like that?

Call me what you want BUT that isn't cool to treat good
people like that. Never have I ever fucked or screwed
anyone over. Never. From the beginning I would be upfront
& tell women what I was basically looking for in a relayion-
ship. Never did I sugar-coat anything I never wanted any-
thing to explode in my face.

I basically "Keep It Real." This bitch was phony the
whole time basically. The reason why I made a comment
about our intimate relations is that people are quick to
say "Maybe You Weren't Satisfying Her Sexually?" I'm
just making it clear that wasn't the case.

I've left on 'good-terms' with the girls I've dated in the
past & are close friends with 3 of them. They're always
calling me to talk about their problems & I do the same.
Whenever they need me, they always call.

Whether it's financial, emotional, or even stuck on side
of the road somewhere. I've always come through or at
least try.

This girl I was dating recently. She turned out to be
fake & decieving. In all my life I've never experienced
someone that just vanishes on you. At least if I was
fucking up or screwing around i'd be like "Damn! I Fucked
Up Baad. I Should've Seen It Coming & Would Hope She
Can Give Me Another Chance."

This time that clearly wasn't the case. I was good to
this woman & she just VANISHED like a ghost. I've never
seen anything like it. It makes you upset because every-
one needs closure. I should've listened to my friends
because all of them were saying "She's Too Perfect & Too
Nice."

They're used to women speaking their minds & even arguing
a little bit at times. They said it's something that
makes the relationship stronger because ya'll gone through
somethings & overcame them. With this woman she acted
phony & perfect & soon as she spots one flaw she'll
leave you.

No matter how much time ya'll spent together. We've been
around each other's friends & family becoming good friends
as well as lovers. Then look up one day & she's gone?

Guess what started to make her act different? She brought
up the subject of porn & I told her that I had a
collection back in the day. Our conversation was open to
pretty much everything & when I said that it was the
beginning of the end.

I should've kept my mouth shut but it would've been some-
thing else in the long run since she's that shallow. So
while ya'll are defending her she would defnitely look
down on everyone in this forum. Like ya'll are scum of
the earth.

I just never had a woman to just go MIA on me. If you
fall in love with a woman and she done that to you.

Trust me. You'd want some kind of retaliation or have
thoughts of it. I got fucked over real bad & she gets up
walks like it's nothing or doesn't no me anymore. That's
some cold-blooded shit & I didn't take it too well.

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I mean I have had my heart broken. I had a girl leave me because she got cold feet about getting married. No discussion, she just split one day.

It hurt so much - I was in my early 20s - I considered suicide. But I never, ever, ever thought of hurting her.

Years later, after she'd gotten married, she came back and told me I was the great love of her life, and on her wedding day, she'd regretted losing me and wished it was me.

She thought of calling me, but knew she'd hurt me. She ran away, and was silent, because she couldn't deal with getting married so young, and then she knew it damn near killed me from the pain.

And dude, she's still married. I have had other loves and other relationships. But that's why you TALK to your girlfriends. You do not threaten them or hurt them.

I've had girls need a break, and I've let them take it. But acting crazy, Jack - slashing their tires or whatever...why should she come back? Why would she? You're acting crazy and evil. If she has a boyfriend, chances are he wants to kick your ass.

I don't care what she thinks of me, dude. I don't know her and I'm not a judgmental person. Fact is, while I am on this board, as I said, my porn collection stopped about two years ago. No reason. Just stopped. I have buddies who do porn and are associated with its production. I and some friends have considered starting a porn site. So I started posting here. But what a stranger thinks of me matters not at all, and ain't going to influence me in thinking you're not wacko for slashing a helpless woman's tires.

Get help. Really.

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Me a wacko? Aren't you the one who thought of taking your
own life? Get the fuck out here.......

Where did I say I wanted to hurt her? It was wrong & over-
board but I did slash her tires to send a message that you
don't have people help you emotionally & financially then
when you're finished with them you vanish on them.

Helpless woman? PLEASE!!!!! She turned out to a bitch &
she should learn something from this. Can't go around
using people & expect to walk around like it's okay. No
telling how many guys she's done that too & she will
remember that I was one guy who didn't go for that bs.

I'm honest about everything & try my best to keep an
open-mind, but that woman deserved it.

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One more thing. They have some rotten ass women out there
that already have alterior motives when they first meet
you from the very beginning. From now on I'm going to
be very particular in who I get involved with. My sense of
security is gone & it will be very hard for me to trust
again.

I do need help. They way she did me was too damn cold-
blooded & it rubbed me the wrong way because I couldn't
understand how someone could just turn their back on you
after you've been there for them.

She was the one who brought up porn & I was just being
honest with her. I'm like "If You Don't Wanna Hear About.
Why Bring It Up?"

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A friend of mine who is a police officer and had some interest in this stalking phenomenon, because she made a stalker victim in her district her "pet object", told me these guys are considered kind of a reference unit, how to deal with stalkers.

So LA-ers should be able to draw an the very source of law enforcement anti-stalker techiques&tactics.

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And I didn't kill myself because I knew, way back when, it'd hurt those I loved.

You seem to have no such compunctions.

Get help. You're not a big man for hurting women. Get help.
Or else you'll wind up in jail being someone's prison girlfriend.

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So take your own unsympathetic advice and upend your life. You must have done something wrong, so stop calling her names.
Now I see that your previous post was from the experience of your own actions.

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Get that lawyer and start the legal trail.

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Who said anything about hurting women? Don't put words in
my mouth. Never in my life have I ever hit a woman because
I have sisters & I wouldn't want anyone to treat them like
that.

As much favors as I did for this lady & for her to turn her
back on me like that? As much money I spent out??

It's okay for her to say "Okay. I Got What I Wanted Out Of
Him & Have No More Need For HIm Anymore...Time To Move On To
The Next Guy."

That's cool huh? I told some of my friends what happened &
what I did. They were all shocked at first but later said
that they didn't know how they would react in that
situation, because she did fuck me over. They went on to
name numerous times I've helped her out calling her
'disloyal' & everything you can think of.

They just reccomended that I got my point across and
advised me to leave it alone because I could end up in
trouble. Which I do agree.

My whole point of this what to alert that it's not always
one-sided, there is always two sides to a story. They
some shady assed women out there are looking to fuck you
over into the ground. Don't be blinded by someone's
good-looks like I did.

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Guy who justifies it as you have = stalker in dire need of mental health care

Sorry. Just how it is

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No slashing tires or putting snakes in their beds...enough of THAT already....I mean funny stuff. . . .I bet there's some stories out there somewhere.

Here's one pulled from the headlines of Uni's adolescence...

Background:

I had left home and was on my own at 15..it's about a year later I'm getting by...barely...Ramen noodles were my friend ok? got a job and a hole in the wall for a crash....no furniture besides beds and a tv on a milk crate .... the best stereo I could afford but no car...beer cans stacked to the ceiling... like that.

My gf at the time decided to do my roommate at the time - some dickhead I let crash for a few weeks when he lost his place .... in my bed no less. Busted. I was pissed. I go to work and they make like bunny rabbits,ate a weeks worth of food and drank all my beer - now that pissed me off.

"we didn't mean it - it just happened" Nice.

I was pretty ticked at him - I ended up giving him a shot before he got out the door.

No "head or gut" for him - I wanted him to have a bruise for a few days so the other guys would give him shit - "yeah, a 16 year old whipped your ass" (he was 19).

Over in 10 minutes which was how long it took him to get his stuff and leave. House rules. Bang my gf in my bed? later.

They stayed together. We sat down a week later after everyone cooled off and made peace.

A few months later I'm hanging out at the beach with this same clique that had kinda adopted me ...I'm barely 16 and this bunch was late teens and early 20's..and meet a cute girl about my age for a change - just down from Ohio and we're hanging out... couple days go by and she says her Moms out of town for the weekend so off we go...

I hop in her car and she takes me home.. imagine my surprise when we pull up at her house....oh, you see this coming already don't you?

I had been in that house many times before...... I pulled her into the first room I saw with a bed(her sisters, of course ) and flash forward about 4 hours when my ex comes home with my former roommate in tow and finds me in bed with her sister.

Of course it was a setup. But not what you think. Read on.

It all came out the next day.

Come to find out the clique had put the 2 of us together. People coming up to each of us individually and telling us the other liked them... "she likes you - she told me - go talk to her"

You get the idea. It doesn't take much to get the motor running as a teenager when it's like this:

"hey dude, here's a cold one and hey - did you talk to her yet? - she WANTS YOU DUDE - go GET HER!!"

Forget about what the girls were feeding HER.

Oh - You think the guys came up with this don't you?

Wrong - it was the girls. Why?

Come to find out the girls all had a beef with my ex - she was well known for cheating on her boyfriends, the girls all knew...he didn't, although you would think he would have had a clue , considering the circumstances of how they met.

Rule # 1 guys, if a girl cheats on her bf with you - clue? She's probably going to keep doing it.

Anyway - this time she (very stupidly )had hooked up with a guy who was dating one of the girls in the group....

He then turned right around within hours and confesses to his gf who called all her friends and before you knew it - it was a thing.

She was fair game. Oh yeah. Fired up.

The girl who got cheated on had enough pull and sympathy with the group to make things happen and... well...we had not had our fair share of drama lately....

This sort of thing happened all the time and it was usually resolved after a few days of "he said - she said"

With the girls it was usually a public confrontation with "slut! bitch! {slap}".

The guys would usually get the guy alone and it would be over. Everyone made up the next day and hey - who's making the next beer run? It was like that.

This was different. Turns out (the girls) had never really forgiven her for what she had done to me either ...I was the baby in the bunch and ended up in the role of "the kid brother" that they felt protective of ...think Patrick Fugit ( played the kid Rolling Stone writer in way over his head in the Cameron Crowe movie "Almost Famous "....but not quite. Little older, not quite as goofy looking - on a good day.

They planned to whip her ass when it was over anyway - this was just for giggles. I was getting coached on deviant stuff to do when I got her sister alone from all sides.

Oh, they were all just having a blast - "bust that ass uni!" was the last thing I heard as I jumped into her car that night..

My former roommate went along with it as well...the girls ratted the gf out to him first thing to get him on board.

First, they got a hold of the guy she banged that night.
No permanent damage. The ex-gf dished out most of it. The ex roommate never laid a hand on him - they all knew he wasn't about to tell anyone he got his ass whipped by a girl for banging another girl behind her back...smart.

Now - game time. How can we have a little fun with this?

They ran down the list. It didn't take long to settle on who was going to take one for the team.

They were like that....let's just say you NEVER fell asleep at a party with this bunch - you could wake up with your head shaved , naked and covered in peanut butter and no one was off limits.

Once it started looking like a home run, their evil streak really came out - thank god cheap consumer digital video cameras, Sony Nightvision and the internet didn't exist back them - this was like 1985 - they would had that house so wired for webcast it would have generated it's own magnetic field.

As it was, they had people in the house with tape recorders (thank you very fucking much radio shack)

They were quite proud of themselves. A regular army ranger infiltration unit they were. Ok, it helps if the bf slips them a key beforehand, but they actually got into the room with the mic and I never knew they were there.

To be fair - Seal Team 5, Delta Force and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading squad could have been in that room with us and I for one would not have known.

You should have seen them rolling around the boombox when I showed up the next day at the beach with bruise and scratchmarks (the sister gave me a smack or 3 getting out the door)- no Roman warrior got the welcome I did.

I tried to be pissed, I really did. lasted about...60 seconds. At least the selfish part - the way the kid sister got played was wrong and I made them fix it so she knew I got played too.

He ended up throwing in the towel with her a week later after she cheated on him yet again and the girls finally all got together and jumped her.... the family moved back to Ohio shortly after that.

We all drifted apart as most cliques do - the really bad kids went one way and most of the rest straightened out and went the other.

That was one week of my summer of '85.

Edited by - Unicorn on 8/14/2005 9:16:00 PM

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Yes, it is okay for people to leave relationships. If HEALTHY relationships are to work, it has to work for both parties.
Whether or not she stayed after she was no longer happy to try to work things out, I don't know. I do know that I can't get a reliable answer from you.

For what its worth, guys bail after getting their fill of sex. Some do, I should say. Happens every day.

Edited by - croy on 8/14/2005 10:51:23 PM

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This is just a transparent ploy of 'no, really, I'm one of you. Listen to me.' A very weak attempt to garner legitimacy.
At least write a better story.

One that explains why your original contention of not getting the police involved is rational and a good plan.

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btw : this story was made up .. lol

croy
Beyond the use of 'English' here:

This is just a transparent ploy of 'no, really, I'm one of you. Listen to me.' A very weak attempt to garner legitimacy.
At least write a better story.

One that explains why your original contention of not getting the police involved is rational and a good plan.

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Besides, he keeps this up and he will be headed to jail when his ex puts 911 on the speed dial...assuming he doesn't kill her and then try to justify that evil BS.

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here's why:

The fact is 1 in 5 women have experienced this. it is a BIG problem. the reality is some of these situations end messy. in order to minimize the risk of this happening here the following must be observed:

change your number
encrypt your site. its not that expensive!
move. yes. MOVE. if this continues to be a problem, and you were alreayd thinking about moving, just do it. People are lazy, if you move, the chances of him following are slim.
change your email address. block his address.
get a dog. one that is a decent size, with a solid bark to it.
make up a story why you cant be with him. make it good. tell him, you're a lesbian, you're a scientologist, whatver. dont actually tell him this. but have the story ready just in case you run into him and are forced to engage. a story like this will take the wind out of his sails.

Update:
Cosmopolitan Magazine (Jessica Simpson cover) did a story on abuse against pregnant women. The first part of the solution involved the VICTIM taking stock of the situation from the perspective of "what can i do to minimize the risk". it suggested things like - moving, never meeting him alone, etc.

Blame and Fault is not the issue here. the issue is safety and peace of mind. In order to get that sometimes we need to go with the flow and just "run away". The nice thing is that in a hectic big city like LA or Newyork, you dont have to move to far to get lost.

My two cents.

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suggestion: if this is the case you might consider bartering with an agent who has some muscle :)

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Lori Lust

lori lust

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lori lust

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