[Link]
Ebony Hotties 4 - review by Captain Jack| Author | Post |
|---|---|
| SunShowers Member  333 Posts 4/08 |  Posted - Jun 5 2012 : 10:41PMI have a much older friend who claims that I'm naturally submissive. I don't necessarily agree with him. What qualities make a submissive person if your opinion? What does that word even mean? How does it tie in with human evolution? What's the point of a submissive person? If you're not submissive, why aren't you? What sets you apart from the submissives? Food for thought or... Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy... Love, Sunshowers [Link] |
| BYOB_Kenobi Senior Member “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard 2684 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Jun 5 2012 : 10:50PM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 1:18AM Sunshowers, I don't know the story with you and this guy but don't let him talk you into anything you don't want to do. Especially if you are indeed talking about sexual submission. A sexual submissive takes the obedient or subordinant role in a sexual or BDSM reltionship. I think the key here is to remember that you may be a sexual submissive without being a submissive person outside of your sex life. There is nothing wrong with being submissive as long as you know where to draw the line and are able to do so. I know quite a few subs that are very dominant in their personal and professional lives and yet they have a need to be submissive when it comes to sex. Some of them have to be in complete control over every aspect of their lives in the sense that they have a job that requires it. Or maybe in their family life they are always the one expected to take care of everyone else. It just feels right to them to be able to completely and safely hand themselves over to a Dom/Domme for their sexual needs. This doesn't mean they put up with abusive control. There is a big difference between abuse and domination and I think many people confuse the two when they hear the words "dominance and submission." I also think that women now days have a tendency to balk at being sexually submissive because feminism teaches us that no man should have that kind of control. Just like guys might be afraid to embrace it for fear of being called a pussy. Let me tell you, I have meet few submissive men that if I didn't know them better I would be afraid to meet them in a dark alley. I would never consider them pussies. It's just that there are some BAMFs that have that submissive need just like there are some bad assed Doms that are big teddy bears. I also have to say I have much more respect for a person (male or female) that can admit and embrace that submissiveness than I do for all the wannabe "twue Dom/Domme" posers that I see in the scene today. I think the majority of subs (and I could be wrong) are bedroom/playtime subs. Meaning that while certain aspects of a D/s relationship will trickle into their daily lives, they usually keep the D/s in the bedroom or the dungeon. Even if they are in a 24/7 D/s relationship they tend to keep it behind closed doors or in the clubs because of society's prejudices. For many it can be a lot like being a closet gay or lesbian. There are just certain people you don't want knowing about it. I have even found this out myself when I was outed at work of all places. You would think a sex shop would be the one place it would be safe for me to talk about my kink but it didn't work out that way. It really hurt me to feel judged and I understand why so many keep it a secret. It's also important to remember that there are alot of variations of D/s relationships. For most there are very clear cut rules and limits. Not all Dom/Dommes like to be called "Sir" or "Ma'am." Others insist on it. You CAN live it 24/7 as some married or committed couples might do or it may be a once in a while or part-time type thing. You can even go as far as a Master/slave relationship and even those vary with each couple. Just like everything else in relationships the dymanmics are different for everyone. The main thing is the sub's need to turn his or herself over to someone else's control. Just as a Dom/Domme has need to be in control. There is also a need to please by letting your Dom have that control. Most Doms I have met have a need to nurture and watch their subs grow and evolve. That is to say they don't want to change the person at heart but rather want to shape and mold them into someone better. A subs need to please and be desired by their Dom allows that to happen in the best of these relationships. Part of it comes from doing without thinking. That can be really hard to achieve. There has to be a lot of trust and respect on both sides. You cannot trust and not respect anymore than you can respect without trust. That is why reputaion in the scene is very important to both Dom/Dommes and subs. If you have a rep for being a disrespectful sub or a untrustworthy Dom/Domme no one will want to play with you. I pretty much have an equal amount of dominant and submissive tendencies with submissiveness squeaking into the majority. I don't like to think about how I'm going to get my rocks off. I'd rather my Top take care of that for me. However, I'm not really in to the whole "Sir" thing. I like to please and it's nice to feel desired. But I have a need to question everything which in turn comes accross as being a mouthy or bratty submissive. I'm not into rules and because I usully own up to my mistakes and while I don't mind being corrected, I don't appreciate punishment. That being said the dominant side of me loves nothing more than to Top at something I'm really good at. The pleasure for me is in completely blowing some dude's mind while he's blowing his load especially when it's something he's never tried before. Good times.....good times..... [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 2:12AM [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 2:26AM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 2:51AM [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 3:04AM So the club you go to is a place where you dominate and get dominated?[Link] |
| mharris127 Senior Member 1844 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 4:08AM [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 6:55AM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 12:36PM Munches are held at bars, taverns and restaurants. Edited by - sexshopgrl on 6/6/2012 12:38:11 PM [Link] |
| David Cop-a-feel Deactivated User Trust me, honey, it gets better 323 Posts 10/10 | Posted - Jun 6 2012 : 6:12PM [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 1:41AM So you mean that you don't participate in the kinky stuff, you just talk about kinky stuff? [Link] |
| Rubberhole Deactivated User 256 Posts 2/10 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 9:50AM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 4:45PM matchmaker wrote: [/quote]Thanks for the explanation! So you mean that you don't participate in the kinky stuff, you just talk about kinky stuff?[/quote] I do it in private not at play parties or public events. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 7:36PM This person gets on my nerves fairly frequently. We became friends through a theatre group and he's always been suggestive, but now he's kicked it up a notch. Used to be we could go out for a drink as friends, but his behavior has changed to the point where he almost seems pissed at me for not sleeping with him. We were out a while back and he told me to "just do it," and I flat out told him it was never going to happen. He used to be a good friend, but now I'm thinking our friendship has fizzled out. He is really presumptuous (this whole submissive thing is just one example) and I'm tired of his expectant attitude. He has many sexual partners, according to him, and I don't know why he can't leave me the hell alone. He's MUCH, MUCH older than I am and not my type. As to me being submissive, I am submissive in bed, but I don't know how he'd know that and I don't like someone TELLING me that about myself. Presumption! Harumph! [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 10:06PM Instead, be safe. This guy sounds kinda sharky to me. [Link] |
| SunShowers Member 333 Posts 4/08 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 11:08PM [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Jun 7 2012 : 11:17PM Most people are naturally submissive no matter how "Dom" they claim to be which contradicts the submissives desire in seeking a "Dom." Please bear with me, this post is not a slap in the face to anybody, it is just my explanation of how things tie into evolution. People in general like to be told what to do, most people are naturally submissive. That is not a bad thing. It only gets bad when "Dom's" go on a power trip. Crazy Crazy terms, take it for what it is. [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 8 2012 : 1:54AM So you mean that you don't participate in the kinky stuff, you just talk about kinky stuff? Click to expand Click to expand Oh, OK. Doesn't make sense why the people you work with made a big deal out of you for just talking with other people in your club.[Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jun 8 2012 : 1:59AM [Link] |
| matchmaker Senior Member 24910 Posts 4/05 | Posted - Jun 8 2012 : 2:27AM [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Jul 10 2012 : 9:38PM Giving up control isn't just about anal stimulation for men lol, I am making this post asexually, imo being submissive has nothing to do with sex, it has everything to do with trusting your partner, placing boundaries and knowing that those boundaries will be respected, feeling that your partner will make the right decisions for you, knowing the risks involved with your partner, a submissive can not realistically totally depend upon their Dom partner when it comes to risks, that is a shared risk and the "Dom" has every obligation to his "submissive" to convey those risks, then the two of them can make an informed decision. I have stated on this board I enjoy anal stimulation, I have a hard time thinking that other guys don't, they don't know what they are missing LOL, for a guy to enjoy anal stimulation or even cross dress doesn't make him a submissive, however, if a guy feels more comfortable giving up control and being "forced" to do those things might make him sexually submissive if that makes any sense. [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jul 12 2012 : 11:20AM [Link] |
| mharris127 Senior Member 1844 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Jul 12 2012 : 11:30PM [Link] |
Bob  All-Star Member 5516 Posts 3/03 | Posted - Jul 12 2012 : 11:44PM [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 2:42AM [Link] |
| BlackSix All-Star Member pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07 | Posted - Jul 13 2012 : 3:05AM [Link] |
| mharris127 Senior Member 1844 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Jul 14 2012 : 11:18AM [Link] |
| Hardware All-Star Member Your other left 14594 Posts 3/02 | Posted - Jul 14 2012 : 3:25PM [Link] |
| Gore Gore Girl Doctor of the Erotic Arts 7238 Posts 1/09 | Posted - Jul 14 2012 : 4:21PM Edited by - Gore Gore Girl on 7/14/2012 4:23:53 PM [Link] |
| BYOB_Kenobi Senior Member “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard 2684 Posts 8/09 | Posted - Jul 14 2012 : 5:02PM [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Jul 17 2012 : 10:20PM For real [Link] |
| SexShopGrl Member F is for Forty and Fabulous! 940 Posts 5/11 | Posted - Jul 18 2012 : 3:06AM Even the Kinsey Report stated that 40% of hets had engaged in anal sex. [Link] |
| Breeze Member One Smokin Hot Chic 532 Posts 11/08 | Posted - Jul 19 2012 : 10:31PM [Link] |
| Use the code below to link to this topic or a specific post. |
| URL of this thread |
| Link to this post with HTML |
| Link to this post with Forum Code |