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All Forums > Sex Talk > Sex Talk Forum Page 15 > What should I do???
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sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 12:18PM
Okay guys and gals, really need some advice.
A few weeks ago I saw this girl that I really think is attractive at a local fast food joint.
I have not been able to stop thinking about her. She seemed so nice with a great smile.
Here are some of the challenges I face:
1) I'm 34 and I have no idea how old she is. She could be anywhere from 21-25. If she's 24 or 25, I would like to pursue this but that leads to the next problem..
2)First off...I have been back about 7 times to see her again but it seems she's never working. One of my friends that came with me (to see if he could identify the age for me) ask one employee what her schedule was so I could finally catch her again. The employee confirmed that she still worked there but was not permitted to give out her schedule.
3) It's a really busy place to the point where there is no time for small talk so it's hard for me to do anything to get her attention or make small talk in order to make the transition of me asking her out smooth.
Due to the fact I've been back so many times and she's never working,(not to mention if she was, it's so busy that if I tried to ask her out it would be awkward because off all the other employees and customers around) I've gotten to the point where I almost feel like sending her a letter. (I know her name because she has a name tag)
How creepy is that?
I mean, I can't keep going back to this fast food hamburger joint 4 times a week. I've been back like 8 times in the past two weeks. It's getting expensive and I'm feeling pretty gross about going there all the time.
I really don't know what else to do but I don't want to look back and say I never gave it a shot.
Should I just keep going back and and try to quickly tell her quietly? Slip her a note? Send the letter to her?
I know this sounds childish but I swear the only reason I'm asking about the letter is because of logistics not because I'm shy.
Bobcat
Senior Member

1490 Posts
2/08
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 2:00PM
Are their any reasons you think she's interested in you?
Do you even know if she's single?
I'm going to guess the answer to both these questions are NO!
So here's what to do, forget about her and go join up to a dating website, find as many women of SUITABLE age, that sound interesting and look ok. Email them and tell them all about yourself and how great you are.
Good luck!
SexyHard
Member

673 Posts
6/07
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 2:22PM
If you want a hamburger, go get a hamburger. If she's there, make small talk. But quit stalking her.
Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Oct 20 2008 : 3:26PM
My daughter works at a fast food place. She sees hundreds of dorky middle aged guys every shift. She laughs at their attempts to flirt with her, and is grossed out when she thinks they're actually seriously trying to make time with her.
It's almost like trying to ask a stripper out. She'll say no, just because she met you at her work. Like, what kind of guy could you possibly be, you're at a strip club, and you're such a loser you ask the dancer out?
Fast food worker, totally different job but same kind of mentality. What kind of loser are you, asking the burger flipper out?
Unless you can go in with some serious flair (no, a letter isn't flair), don't humiliate yourself and embarrass her at her workplace.
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 21 2008 : 11:16AM
Alright, I get the point.
It was just hard to move past her because I thought she was really cute and nice. She also seemed so down to earth.
I probably wasn't going to do anything anyway, I just needed confirmation that this was a crazy idea and I should just drop it.
 
BigBobxxx
Senior Member

2681 Posts
5/04
Posted - Oct 21 2008 : 11:54AM
Take some cell-phone pics from a respectable non-stalking distance, enhance them with NASA imaging technology, then relieve yourself at home.
Find a pornstar that she reminds you of, get some DVDs featuring this pornstar, then relieve yourself at home.
Find a pornstar/model that she reminds you of, download some free pics from the Internet (FreeOnes), then relieve yourself at home.
Of course, I am a loser. Your mileage may vary.
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 2:26AM
I think we still might be able to come up with a plan for sickguy.
Zoid
Senior Member

Boobies and Anal
2004 Posts
5/04
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 4:03AM
Do they have a phone in that joint? You can probably find it in Yellow Pages or something.
Maybe you can call them and ask to speak with her.
SJOriginal
Member

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way
158 Posts
9/08
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 5:12AM
In my opinion ..........
Life's too short to not do the things you really want to do. One day, you'll look back with regret because you never really knew whether you had a shot or not. And I wouldn't worry about what people think of you or whether she'll laugh at you. Imagine if those thoughts always popped into our heads before we did something out of our usual jurisdiction. Wow, we'd probably all just stay at home, curtains closed and never come out. I say "fuck it"; better to know, then not know.
Should you keep stalking her? No, not healthy. And stop eating all those burgers, also not healthy. Get her out of your head in that obsessive way, and visit say once a week, or drive by and peek in casually. Eventually ... she'll pop up on the radar.
IF she reappears; don't be creepy and dorky. DON'T come out with some dumb line you heard from another guy. Be genuine and CONFIDENT, pay her a meaningful compliment, and ... good luck.
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 1:55PM
Well I wouldn't say I was stalking her. I just kept going back to do just that. See if she was working so I could pay her nice little compliment. Every time I went back she wasn't there so I got frustrated and didn't know what else to do.
I'm glad you said that stuff about taking a risk. I kind of feel the same about looking back and regretting not doing something. I know I took some heat for her being young, but she could actually be like 27...
It's so tuff to say.
I would like to bring a friend the next time I go just to get an idea of how old she is. I had a hard time judging her age but he might say something like "dude...she's like 20" at which point I would just drop it.
If he pegs her around 26/27, then I would go back by myself to try and make my move.
I know some there were some comments saying I should go to dating internet site. Well, I've been on a bunch for years with no luck. I kind of feel I gave that a fair shot and now it's time to try something else.
When I saw this girl, it was like one of those moments in life where I said to myself "I think she would make me really happy". Such a nice smile and nice personality. I started to picture myself with her and it just never left my head.
Thanks for all the input to everyone. Weather it was negative or positive, it's all appreciated.

Edited by - sickguy on 10/23/2008 1:57:42 PM

stinkfist
Senior Member

Subterfuge......
7401 Posts
4/07
Posted - Oct 23 2008 : 7:14PM
sickguy,when the day arrives and she is working behind the counter and you order your burger and fries and she looks you in the eyes and says "Supersize....my snatch sickguy"..and with that she whips of her hat and her long glossy hair cascades down her shoulders,she begins to unbutton her trousers and not a gherkin to be seen.Your cholesterol levels have just shot up..her knickers have just shot down,do you change your mind and go for a baguette..just then the hush of the fast food shop comes to an abrupt end Ronald McDongle has arrived and is not amused,he stands up on the counter and roars "I supply the mayo around here" then drops his pants to reveal his very own quarter pounder....what was the question again..
I would not let the age gap put you of and i am sure at some point you will see her again..then who knows a smile could lead to another smile then another smile and then the biggest smile of all as you get chatting to her.
BlackSix All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world
12377 Posts
9/07
Posted - Oct 24 2008 : 4:18AM
When I was a teen I worked at a fast food joint and the girls who worked cash always had older guys hitting on them because they'd smile and be friendly, WHICH WAS THEIR JOB!
Sickguy, leave the girl alone, go join something, volunteer somewhere, find a woman who you have something in common with.
goofy
Deactivated User

16 Posts
12/05
Posted - Oct 24 2008 : 11:54PM
sickguy,
It's actually a good question you asked. I'm not sure there's a right or wrong way to proceed in your "game plan". What works for someone won't work for someone else. Good luck !!!
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 2:24AM
I think it's clear to all of us that you just don't want to bang her but a honest to God relationship with her. Go to the park, hold hands and grow old with her. Am I right?
You need to meet her outside the workplace. It won't do to find employment at this restaurant yourself - though I think if you were the same age that could be a game plan. Instead, and this will take some work, find out what church she goes to and join it. Then you can meet her at a safe church function. If the religious angle don't work, find what other social group she might belong to - maybe the weekend bicyclist guys and gals group or neighborhood co-ed softball league. God. You really need to find her full name and Google / MySpace / Facebook the shit out of her to figure things out and find a place outside of her work to just "run in to her".
Or you can transfer the biggest sum of money you can to your ATM account, withdrawal a small sum of money along with the receipt that shows you have $xx,xxx amount of money in your checking account, have that slip "accidentally" fall out of your wallet while paying for your food at the counter. Waala. Instant interest. (That is a trick learned from The Tom Leykis Show.)
Or are you in a position to hire her or get her hired at your company? This is way way out there though and can get a little fucked up. Even dogs know not to shit where they play.
I think I'll have more ideas by the end of the weekend.
Edited by - heynow on 10/25/2008 2:25:48 AM
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 3:22AM
And your daughter's attitude is of general applicability . . . why?
A loser who doesn't think of the girl as a burger-flipper just because she happens to flip burgers?
Probably not.
 
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 3:30AM
My advice:
Life is short. Be direct. But don't stalk or get obsessive -- you don't know her. Accept rejection or disinterest gracefully.
Good luck and best wishes for your success!
Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 9:18AM
Because my daughter is reasonable approximation of the average young female fast food worker. As are the other young women she works with and tells me stories about.
Many of those stories involved men and boys who do inappropriate things at the fast food establishment.
Doesn't matter to her how you see her, it doesn't make you less of a loser that you think she's awesome. She knows how awesome she is. What makes you a loser is that you don't have anywhere else to pick up chicks.
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 1:19PM
^^^
The OP wanted advice on how he could best ask this girl out without being creepy or stalking her.
Instead of giving advice helpful to him, you've (1) rather viciously implied that he's a dork and a loser; and (2) given him "advice" that's not designed to help him but rather to protect your daughter, her friends, and their sisters-in-arms from "men and boys who do inappropriate things at . . . fast food establishment[s]".
Asking a girl/woman out in a respectful manner (whether at her place of employment or elsewhere) is neither inappropriate nor inherently humiliating for either party. Based on the attitudes of your daughter and her friends (not to mention yours), you may believe his chances of success are slim -- and they probably are -- but that's not a sufficient reason for him to forgo an attempt to get to know this girl. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Both he and she should have thick enough skin to survive an innocent encounter intact.
My feeling is that you have a bad attitude about this, Kimi.
Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 3:59PM
You're absolutely right. I didn't give him advice on how to ask this girl out. My advice is that he does not ask her out at all. In the event that he feels he must ask her out, do or die, nothing ventured nothing gained, seize the day or whatever - I suggested that he do something with flair. Something that would stand out markedly from the billion dorky losers who have asked her out.
jayo All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

2117 Posts
7/04
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 4:38PM
I was at a shop today and the clerk really got my attention. That's unusual in this kind of place (thrift store) because usually the clerks who work there never do it for me. Plus she appeared close to my own age. A lot of women I see behind the counter are teens or 20-somethings, and I want someone closer to my own age. Someone who's older than my car.
This thread popped immediately popped up in my head, and found myself mentally running through it. Plus my own advice (which I didn't write), which is that women in bars, at a party, etc, are fair game, but I think they should be left alone while at work (unless it's obvious they're interested). While at work they're trying to do their job, they can't get away, and the "you know where I work" thing makes them exposed and does make it creepy, or at least really awkward.
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 7:18PM
As I said, bad attitude.
Ivory
Sex Object by Proxy

"We all want our time in Hell."
647 Posts
8/04
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 9:03PM
Why worry about lines and flair and all that? Either the biochemical attraction is there or it's not. That spark of mutual attraction. You won't know if she feels it too until you see her again. So, just keep going there. You can just get coffee or soda. You don't have to get burgers. Then, when you see her, smile and make eye contact and introduce yourself to her, so she'll know your name. Then, you can call her sometime during her shift, and she'll know who you are. Don't do the letter because she won't know who you are.
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 9:13PM
Hey everyone,
I first want to emphasize my appreciation for everyone' s input. (especially Bob)
I was fully aware that if I hung out my dirty laundry here in a public forum and asked for people's opinions, I needed to accept the good and the bad.
I must say that my shyness and the awkwardness of the situation has become a bit of a mental block so I have not been back. I guess the bottom line is no matter how much advice I get, there's only one person that can tell me what's best for me. That would be me. I also realize that everyone is different. While some women like Kimi's daughter's would consider me a loser or a dork, there might be other mid 20's hamburger flippers that would be flattered by this. (I'm actually kind of cute and dress well) I also think that many people meet in all kinds of different situations and different ways. I don't think I would be the first person on earth that liked a female employee at a restaurant and asked her out.
I think I was just throwing this out there to get a feel of how bad of an idea this was. I think deep down inside, I was hoping all the responses were going to be positive.
I think what I'm going to do is just go back there once in while and be natural. If she smiles, a little smile back. See if I can squeeze in some small talk.
I think this way it will take the pressure of the situation.
This was what I originally wanted to do but I was just getting frustrated because every time I went back she wasn't there. It seemed like the only time she working was the same time I was so I couldn't catch her.
All in all, I still think this is best way to go about it. I just have to find out her schedule...lol.
Kimi Lixx
Senior Member

2012 Posts
6/01
Posted - Oct 25 2008 : 11:33PM
Just because you don't want to admit that there are dorky losers asking fast food workers out doesn't mean my attitude is to blame.
I didn't call sickguy a dorky loser. I just related that if he didn't do something besides the same old thing that the dorky losers do, he would just end up being one of them.
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 26 2008 : 12:25AM
"Dorky losers" and "fast food workers" aren't descriptive rubrics that have any defining significance for me. "Kind people" and "well-meaning people" -- those categories have more resonance.
^^^
I'm not convinced.
But we could start a poll thread about your likely intent.
 
jayo All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

2117 Posts
7/04
Posted - Oct 26 2008 : 12:47AM
You (sickguy) are a computer geek (or should be at least mildly if you're posting here). You get your color printer and write "go out with me!" and then wrap up a burger. Take it back to the place and tell her the burger has a mouse in it or pubic hair or something else wrong with it, and hand it to her as evidence. She unwraps it and voila.
OR
You're at the Clown's head and you're ordering lunch. It's busy and there are 10 cars behind you. You shut the car off and toss the keys out the window and you refuse to get them until she agrees to go out on a date with you.
OR
Back to your color printer. You print out some GOOD FOR 1 FREE ORGASM With Any Full Dinner Eaten With You. No Purchase Necessary.
Any of those should break you out of the background clutter.
TheLoneGunman
Member

400 Posts
10/03
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 10:13AM
Here's a rule of thumb for guys (and girls):
GIRLS: When a guy is being friendly, he's interested.
GUYS: When a girl is being friendly, 99% of the time, she's JUST being friendly!
Bobcat
Senior Member

1490 Posts
2/08
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 1:50PM
I don't get it!
Is this girl your idea of female perfection?
I must see 20-30 girls I'd like to have sex with everyday, even if I were single I'd let it go, because there's a time and a place!
Is there no bars or clubs you can go to? You know, you see a girl, you ask her if you can buy her a drink or would she like to dance. Dude, that's how most guys pick up chicks!
It just seems weird to me that you can have a girl you don't know on your mind this much, very weird! You know, if she's really cute and 22-27 its like a 99% chance she has a partner anyway!
BigBobxxx
Senior Member

2681 Posts
5/04
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 2:56PM
Hard won wisdom, this is.
yoda.jpg
Bob All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

5516 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 5:10PM
Rule of thumb? Give me a break. That's complete nonsense.
I'm friendly with women just to be friendly. And why wouldn't I be, given that they make up over half the population?
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 6:42PM
I really don't understand what people aren't getting about this.
I'm going to explain this one last time. I have no delusions that this women was being extra nice to me because she was interested in me. I'M INTERESTED IN HER. I'm attracted to very friendly, down to earth women, particularly from the caribbean. She also had a smile that put me in a trance like state.
It's was just one of those moments where you see your dream women and you say, "man I wish I could get to know her". For me, the situation is even more odd because if most people saw her, they would probably think she's cute at best.
I have very odd taste.
Edited by - sickguy on 10/27/2008 8:38:36 PM
Edited by - sickguy on 10/27/2008 8:40:34 PM
lindi
Senior Member

12345
3205 Posts
9/02
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 6:52PM
Just be yourself and be friendly to her.
You have nothing to lose. Nothing at all.
Don't be creepy. That's all.
ma meeshka
Iconoclastic Member

3939 Posts
4/06
Posted - Oct 27 2008 : 7:38PM
i am also not a complete tool.
Captain Cock
Member

NL
172 Posts
2/05
Posted - Oct 29 2008 : 8:33PM
No idea about burger flippers, but AFAIK, every training for a job involving customers tells you to make eye-contact, be cheerfull, smile a lot. Even when I did tele-sales, I was instructed to 'smile when I dial'. People feel better when they think the person they buy from likes them, so most if not all ppl dealing with customers are well-trained in faking it (I think Sales is most similar to porn in that respect lol).
If you really like her, why not just go for it? Worst that can happen is you embarras yourself in front of a bunch of teenagers, and you might want to go to a different fast food joint for a while.
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Oct 30 2008 : 12:39PM
Yeah I know the worst that can happen is I embarrass myself but I have huge issues with that.
It's just such an awkward situation because of how this place is set up. It's set up like this:
One person takes the order at cash. Move down the line where the condiments are. Two people putting the condiments on the buns due to how busy it is. (She's one of them) They quickly then pass your bun down to the burger cooker who's completes the mast piece by adding the meat, wrapping it up and putting on the tray or bag depending on if your staying or going.
So there is so little time to say anything to her.
 
warrenwest67
Member

Thanks for the mammaries.
966 Posts
1/07
Posted - Oct 30 2008 : 1:35PM
This is the best advice Ive seen here yet. I am married 13 years. Take it from me, I still question a "smile" from time to time but would never persue it. BUT, I have done just what BigBobxxx is suggesting. And from time to time take the frustration out on my wife in bed.
In the meantime, Keep your eye out for her and dont be afraid to talk to her if you see her again.
Janitor
Retired

Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service.
6409 Posts
11/99
Posted - Oct 30 2008 : 2:34PM
Do you have business cards? Then if you see her you can ask her to go out for a drink or something and ask her to email or call you. So no pressure on her to answer right away.
Some guys left me notes when I worked at a hotel. Even if I wasn't interested I was flattered and did not consider any of them creepy. Some left me flowers too. Again, just thought it was nice.
If you leave a note it should be with a female employee so she can describe you to the girl. Also it should be brief and note-like rather than letter-like.
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jun 26 2012 : 2:32AM
Just read this whole thread, or reread it. Anything ever happen?
Rubberhole
Deactivated User

256 Posts
2/10
Posted - Jun 26 2012 : 9:14AM
Catch her on a day she is working, then just wait for her to get off. Approach her gently and explain your case. If she blows you off or is involved with someone else, switch to fried chicken.
trout bum
Deactivated User

"I'm Not Here To Suck My Own Cock!"
2145 Posts
5/10
Posted - Jun 26 2012 : 1:36PM
If she is that freaking hot, I can't imagine after four years she hasn't hooked up with some dude on a permanent basis...that or she's more into girls!
Edited by - trout bum on 6/26/2012 3:30:55 PM
Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08
Posted - Jun 28 2012 : 3:52AM
I just read this entire thread too, damn I came up with some good stuff for sickguy, too bad it is so old. Are you just beyond bored HeyNow?
HeyNow All-Star Supporter
Oblivious

Gold Star Hey!
5965 Posts
1/03
Posted - Jun 28 2012 : 10:06AM
Still give us that info, we all want to hit on 24 year olds that work at Hardee's.
Breeze
Member

One Smokin Hot Chic
532 Posts
11/08
Posted - Jun 29 2012 : 6:04AM
^LMFAO, any info I have for this guy I would actually pay to stand in line behind him to see her reaction because I am twisted like that. Not to sound mean or anything, because I am not, but sometimes I can't help myself when it comes to egging people on to do dumb shit just to see what would happen! I mean, hey, he is smitten by her to the point he goes to eat there even though it is financially draining just to sneak a peak at her?
My last roommate had a similar dilemma, and I used it to my advantage haha. I talked him into coloring his hair, buying new clothes, and most importantly putting gas in my vehicles for me cuz he had a crush on a 23 year old girl who worked at a gas station.
cross
Senior Member

I Love Beef Curtains!
1072 Posts
6/05
Posted - Jul 1 2012 : 6:51AM
I've gotten numbers this way, had success too.
The trick is you MUST ask the first time you talk to her.
Then you'll know and won't have to go back if she says no. You've got to capture that initial 'spark' that you perceive. The more you go in there the more worked up you'll get and disappointed you haven't seen her.
And yes, if you've been in there several times her workmates have noticed you too, and when you ask, if she says yes or no it doesn't matter, because they'll tell her how often you've been in and that to skew the result.
I know, its totally fucked man, and I feel for you and also..... If you think she's too young, she's too young.
Ask straight away, don't give yourself a chance to think about it
*ARGH FUCK, just saw how old this is - the OP is probably married with kids to someone else, and got trespassed from the fast food joint and won't tell his new wife why ;)*
Edited by - cross on 7/1/2012 6:53:36 AM
sickguy
Deactivated User

I'm unofficially Beauty Dior's #1 Fan
736 Posts
9/06
Posted - Jan 9 2013 : 10:08PM
OMG, this was years ago...lol. I finally gave up because everytime I went back she was never there. So, I'll just have to wait for the next cute burger flipper to catch my eye. As for now, Im 38 and still single. Guess I just wasn't meant to be with anyone.



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