Speaking of this, I remember reading a while ago that Zara Whites would send some of her tapes to her parents and they were very proud of her. Not the too hardcore stuff, just the Andrew Blake kind of stuff.

I guess it all depends on how supportive parents are of their daughters who are doing porn.

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Anyways... I said on Stern that my family did not disown me. That infact they call me quite offen. I have distanced myself from them because they don't understand the adult business-nor will they ever-and they want to HELP ME, and so their need to want to smother me has caused me to pull way.

Bridgette Kerkove

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But also, don't ever feel the need to tell us about your personal life. Your private life is private and your business and I don't think anyone here has a problem respecting that boundary.

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It doesn't often cause girls to quit though, but it is still a crappy way for someone to find out.

LATE

Rog

Rog Reviews

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Edited by - Pocketcomb_Pimp on 3/26/2004 5:26:12 PM

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-T.C.

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So you're saying that ALL girls in porn are stupid and not smart enough to be able to do anything "better"? I think you'd be surprised to find out the details on how many girls in porn had good grades in college, came away with college degrees, and even have held jobs based on intelligence (whether before, during or after their porn career).

Believe me, you're walking on thin ice in my book with those kinds of comments.

--Tricia Devereaux
Magna Cum Laude (if you don't know what that means - look it up), Bacholor of Science in Biology
University of Missouri

Edited by - tricia_devereaux on 3/26/2004 7:47:26 PM

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i don't know anyone that is doing what they went to school for... even me!

- Pornmaster Mike, if you see my love Nautica and her friend Ms. Taliana send them my way! There's also room for Charmane... oh, Teagan theres a spot on my face you can sit on!
www.adultdv-depot.com

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My wife lived in Columbia for many years. I still miss Shakespear's Pizza.

Myk

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Tricia, you are the exception, not the rule. I think it's great that you have a college degree, and I'm sure you did better than me on your SAT's. However, for every star like you who marries a millionaire Porn Legend(Your husband has helped me to hundreds of successful ejaculations) :) and lives happily ever after, there are 50 girls who have low self esteem, drug problems, money woes, etc...There is a stigma associated with being a cum sucking whore named Tricia (or Kimberly, or whoever), you just may be too closely associated with the industry to realize it.

Please understand I am not saying this to be inflammatory or to put you down. I jacked off to you plenty of times and you were a great actress (especially with Chloe in GBG)! It's just that I think Pornboy hit the nail on the head and I wanted to add my 2 cents.

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However, someone trying to correlate it to (paraphrasing greatly) 'porn girls are stupid, and my sister's not stupid' will push my buttons on even my best day, and I WILL fire back.

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Just to gauge from some of the young, punky girls I've met in strip clubs, there's a very different "edge" to being a hot young thing these days, and women feel more comfortable asserting their sexuality -- and, sometimes, porn is a part of that. Maybe it's time for some redefinitions -- I would like that.

Edited by - skronker on 3/26/2004 10:00:17 PM

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I don't think it's fair to paint so many of the actresses as having big problems. I think that any difficulties they may run into has more to do with their young age (esp. 18-19 y.o.), and lack of experience being on their own, and then suddenly being in a demanding business that goes through actresses at a fast clip. Hey, I remember being on my own for the first time at 22, and even with my college degree and a good job, I was blowing through most of my money, drinking too much, crying everytime something upset me, having troubles on the job, dating the wrong men, stuff like that. Most of my female friends were pretty much the same way - and we were all educated. It took us about 2-3 years to work this all out of our systems, and get more responsible.

Do any of you ever think that some of the porn actor/directors have problems? It seems like an awful lot of them rely on Viagra to get the job done, even though they are supposed to be such natural studs. Even I'm surprised when some post here that they still hire prostitutes, go to stripper bars, drink alcohol and/or smoke marijuana constantly, even pop presciption drugs like tranquilizers or pain killers. Honestly, this doesn't sound like the healthiest of lifestyles to me, either. Maybe it's just that I notice these revelations because I pay more attention to the porn guys than the actresses.

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So, once and for all, here is how it stands:

- female pornstars are either sluts (when American) or whores (when European)
- male pornstars are either parolees (when American) or Euro trash (when European)
- male porn fans are either slavering fan boys (when American) or sophisticated (when Belgian)
- and finally, female porn fans don't exist

See, it's easy, trust me.



EagleSpirit said:
"It's amazing the special treatment that women with big tits get, I sometimes find it mind boggling."

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As for what the herd thought of her being in porn, I couldn't care less.

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The comedian and actor Billy Connolly deliberately wears "weird" clothes in public and dyes his beard in bright colours. He calls it his "arsehole detector", because it encourages people to reveal their bigotry of the mundane. When someone he meets starts bitching to him about his appearance it lets him know not to waste any more of his time with them.

There are lots of open-minded people in the world. Let's just appreciate each other, and not worry about pleasing the killjoys and the hypocrites.

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Two salient points I'm getting out of this. I agree with both.

1. - It's pretty obvious that the belief, or implication, that porn girls are all stupid, drug-addled, or somehow less valuable as people, because they are porn girls, is wrong and offends the sensibilities of enlightened, intelligent adults.

2. - Every parent bears and raises their child with the hope and idea of preparing them for a happy and fulfilling life. A life that provides sufficient measures of self-respect, the respect of their community, and hopefully, some level of achievement. The world is a community, We do not live in a vacuum, and on some level it does matter to us how we are perceived in that community and what our, or our children's, value is to that community. In that light, no parent raises their child to be a cum dump, or is comfortable with that image or prospect for their child.

But at the end of the day, most parents would generally agree that if their child is safe, able to provide for themselves, and able to make mature, rational decisions that allow them to maintain control over their lives and what happens to them, then they can't really ask for more than that. Lifestyle, or occupational choices that young people make in their late teens and early twenties sometimes is the true test of that parental love, devotion and restraint. Some folks can handle it, some can't. And in some folks value system, there is no accepting it, or going back.

But it's a real shame when you are 65 and your daughter is 40 and you can't know or play with the beautiful grandchildren she gave you, or you can't enjoy the full person that she's become, because you disowned her for stuff she did twenty years ago. Stuff that wasn't illegal or hurtful to anyone, just that it was embarrassing to you. If our entire life ends or is defined by the things we do in our twenties, a lot of us would be in trouble.

BSD

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You've got your opinion, I respect that, and would normally leave it alone. But since you've chosen to use the word "smart" twice now, emboldening it for effect the second time, to characterize the difference between your sister and any female that's ever acted in porn videos, you need to define "smart" for me. Or use another term.

Cuz the way I, (and I think most others), understand and define "smart", doesn't jibe with the point that I think you are trying to make.

Or, you could allow me to remain confused.

BSD

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Be cautious with "too smart for porn". That's a stereotype that just isn't right.

Remember that Asia Carrera is Mensa.

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My maternal grandmother had the audacity to take a trip out west on a motorcycle long before such a thing was acceptable for a young woman. Motorcycles?! Unchaperoned trips?! You can still hear the matrons grinding their teeth. Oh, well. That's what she wanted to do and the old folks could go hang. Did she suffer for it? No, because she didn't live for the opinion of such people. Do you know she ended up firmly embedded in the middle class? She still managed to pass on some of those fey genes though, lol.

PornBoy, you look at how some people denigrate porn and how some people in the industry act towards women and say, "I wouldn't want that for my sister; only an idiot would put up with that." I can understand that view, but it contains a couple of false assumptions. First, not all porn is made by misogynists, so it is possible to do porn without putting up with abuse. Second, the view of porn as denigrating is simply a mind-set. It isn't some universal truth. Finally, it is possible to work for misogynists and be maltreated without ever stepping in front of a porn camera. Being smart has more to do with navigating through the career you want than with abandoning your dreams because of the risks involved.

It may interest you to know that not so many years ago the middle class looked down on 'legitimate' theater. It was widely held that only whores and hussies became actresses. This wildly distorted view was, in fact, an attempt to dissuade young women from a difficult and uncertain profession. Wise mothers understood this; the less thoughtful simply swallowed and regurgitated the message without examining it. At any rate, this didn't stop young women from falling in love with the theater and becoming actresses. Some of them ended up doing well while others suffered just as their community had feared. But, do you know what? It didn't really matter because life is in the doing, not in the outcome. Nobody knows in advance how the choices they make in life will turn out; submitting to your fears is simply denying the possibilities.

(Damn, I ought to listen to my own advice more often, lol.)

edited for spelling

Edited by - hardware on 3/27/2004 7:22:45 PM

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Hardware, BSD, Skronker.... it's people like you that John and I seek out as friends. I'm not talking about that just because of porn. But because of how I like to live everyday life. My life isn't centered around porn. Never has been, really. It was always a fun thing that I did, but I had a lot of fun things in my life at the same time. John and I have never been people who have worried about what general society thinks. Whether or not the rest of the world approves is not important. We want to approve of ourselves and feel proud of who we are.
If a friend or family member doesn't approve of what we do or think in porn or the rest of our lives, that's fine. But they better accept it if they expect to remain our friends. That, in my opinion, is the top principle of being a libertarian, and I wouldn't want to live my life any other way.

As for me being in porn - does my mother approve? No. Does she accept it? Yes. I see her several times a year (we live halfway across the country from each other). She'll even talk about non-graphic stuff with me. I know for a fact that she and my dad watched porn, so she would be a hypocrite to not accept that someone, even her daughter, might choose that field as either a temporary job or even a career.
She approves of the fact that I have made the best decisions for me within this path. I notice that you tried to push my buttons with the whole "Cum Sucking Whore" thing. Unfortunately, there are some companies out there that seem to not respect women as much as I would hope. I no longer work for those companies, and I don't feel traumatized by the fact that I did for 2 years of my life. During my work, I never allowed myself to feel abused by someone. If they put out a badly titled compilation several years after the last time I did a scene, I can't help that, and I realize that.

I was infected by someone who had HIV and lied to me. I don't want to get into all that, because it will truly derail this thread, but that's something that happens sometimes in 'real life' too outside of porn.

All I can say is that the only thing that makes me sad is the people who live their lives as hypocrites. And I'm happy I'm not one of them.

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Gimme a break. I'm not saying that all porn girls are dumb, but I find it hard to believe that these girls make a conscious choice to get fucked on camera, as opposed to actually getting a real career with a future.

Just look at the sheer number of girls with saggy, droopy tits and Cesarian scars - all tell tale signs of motherhood. How do we think these girls went into porn? I suppose they all said to themselves: Jeez, I'm a mother now, I guess I'm gonna get screwed on camera. Right.

The other group of girls are strippers who want above the marquee billing at strip clubs, hence they go hardcore.

There is a very tiny group of girls who can parlay their looks into financially more rewarding ventures. Think Jenna Jameson.

So, you have the single moms, the strippers, the career porn girls, and the occasional junkie. I doubt you'll find many future nobel prize winners in this group. Add to this the girls who were kind of forced by their partners to go into porn, and throw in the tens of thousands of unemployed and unemployable Eastern European girls into the mix, and I think it's easy to see that we are talking about a pretty dysfunctional group here.

If I had a sister or kids, I wouldn't want them anywhere near these kinds of people. People who absolutely have no future. I mean, what's going to happen to all these girls 3 or 4 years down the road? There is no career in porn, nobody gets old doing sex videos.

2Big

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Furthermore, as has been repeated pointed out, you can find people with problems in all walks of life. Whether the percentage is much higher in porn is a matter which I, and I suspect you, can only speculate on; a singularly pointless exercise.

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You seem like a self hating pornography addicted closet case. You can't even make a firm argument on your stance, whereas hardware and others have made plenty. Get a grip.

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The only reason that I don't want to see a member of my family doing porn is that it would limit the choice of movies that I could rent or buy.

Rather that essentially repeating what others have written, I'll just say that Tricia, skronker, BSD, Hardware and a few others have expressed opinions that I agree with 100%.

Edited by - Bill on 3/27/2004 7:24:33 PM

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For what it's worth I have two older sisters (now 42 and 43) and neither of them has really achieved anything worthy of mention (and similarly neither have I). Maybe you find some comfort in the inconsequential and unspectacular and would love a sister who never rises above the background noise of society; for me, I think I'd rather like a sister of some renown or even notoriety and I suspect I'd take a certain kind of pride in having a sister who was a porn star.

I think the worst part about having a sister who did porn would probably be the constant battle to avoid seeing your sister 'in action'

SNP.

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Why would you avoid watching your sister's scene, assuming she has the looks and personality to succeed as an erotic actress?

(a)Because you wouldn't find her attractive?
(b)Because you would find her attractive but feel you should not?
(c)Because she might ask you to critique her performance?
(d)Some other reason I haven't thought of?

If the adult industry had "gala premiere" screenings, wouldn't you be pleased to go to the premiere with her?

Wouldn't it feel like bad manners to refuse to see her success?

Edited by - licker on 3/27/2004 9:44:14 PM

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'Once a pornstar always a pornstar. Until the day she dies Jenna Jameson will always be known as a woman that gets fucked on camera. When she's 90 she'll be a woman who was fucked on camera. Thats all. When she passes she'll just be a woman who gave blowjobs. Thats all.'

Well, you gotta give the public more credit than that.

In Germany a scandal recently developed when the German newspaper 'Bild' revealed that Sibel Kekilli, the female star of 'Gegen die Wand'/'Head On' the winning film at the Berlinale (the Berlin Film Festival), played in several porn movies (13 discovered so far).

Although Magma and others have been quick to capitalize on this by putting out compilations and special offers etc, the general public reaction, apart from a degree of curiosity which I'm also guilty of myself, seems to be mainly:

- disaproval of the actions and hypocritical stance of the newspaper 'Bild';
- support for the actress, who had to go underground for a while after being harassed by 'journalists' and receiving threats from a couple of whackos;
- genuine admiration for Sibel's performance as a serious actress.

Sure, it will be a matter of record if a person has done porn, but if people recognize real talent, they can - and will - look behind that.

Another example: an Amsterdam Municipal Council member recently revealed that she used to work as a hooker for several years, and has also appeared in a significant number of private sex videos. It was an item for maybe two weeks and now it's business as usual - and she's not a clown like, say, Cicciolina, who was in parliament in Italy for a time - she's a serious politician, member of the Dutch Labour party (PvdA) and author of several serious studies on educational policy. Her career doensn't seem to suffer any serious repercussions from her past.

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I was so ashamed of what was going on, that I never told my family, which was the only way they would have found out. That's what's different for porn actresses, what they do is on a DVD for anyone to see, even family members. But don't think that because your sister/daughter/girlfriend etc doesn't work in porn or as a stripper, that she can't possibly be humiliated on the job, made to feel like a piece of meat. Just ask the women in your lives if they or a female friend has ever been harassed or stalked at work, or had a boss who offered them a better salary in exchange for sex (I've had all three happen to me, and I'd say I'm average in looks, and dress conservatively). I even had one interview, where the research director of the site (who happened to be Hungarian) made it quite clear he thought I was attractive enough, and if I came to work there, I would be expected to "make my boss happy" in order to have a successful career. I got the message loud and clear.

The only person, besides my female friends, who ever heard about my job troubles, was my husband (that's him in my avatar, he's now my ex), back when we first got together, since he had to know why I was having so many problems and not getting any raises or promotions. I asked him what he would do if he ever met the two men who bothered me, what he would say to them. He said that he wouldn't say anything to them, he'd kill them first. Succinct and to the point, and I would have happily watched him.

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Porn is an odd beast. There's always the sleazy side, the weird, the disgusting, (depending on your point of view, I guess), but then there's the light, fun side. Despite an education, or experience, it's got to be a scary place sometimes.

So how does a girl become comfortable getting cum in her mouth on camera? Probably by rationalizing. It's just not that far a stretch to say that it's simply a variation of 'doing what comes naturally.' People are so unbelievably hung up - they still think sex is dirty. If you think about it, having sex is as natural as eating or taking a piss. (Billions and billions of people are its product, and NOT ONE EXCEPTION!) To which most people will concede. Then their double standard kicks in: "Not MY sister," or "I'd NEVER do that," or whetever. Assholes! It's just sex.

If I had a family member in porn, I'd lobby my family and friends to just deal with it. My current better friends would accept it - like one said, if he had a gay son, he'd just learn to cope, and people who couldn't would be cut out of his circle. In fact, both of us admit that people with narrow minds and double standards are the ones we tend to avoid - even our loved ones. ('Course there's real-world limits to how much one can excersize his lofty, open-minded ideals...)

Pornboy, I submit that IF your sister was in porn, you'd be a better person if you learned to accept it. And IF you even got to enjoy her performances, this would be fine, and if you had sex with her, also fine, excepting a few biological concerns. You don't like the idea? Okay, that's up to you. But why do you think anyone else shouldn't?

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