Read interlude for a little more understanding of my motivation for this thread.
When women say they are attracted to certain things in a man are they telling the truth? For example, many women say that a sense of humor is the most desirable quality in a man, yet more rock stars get panties thrown at them than comedians.
Motivation for this question: I had this female friend(sic) who said she was most attracted to intelligence. She said looks were of little importance. I did not believe her at first. Why? Because I heard it before many times and yet I see many intelligent men without dates. When I confronted her my eyes were opened to what she meant. To say you are attacted to intelligence is not to say that you want someone with multiple degrees on the wall. She wanted someone that was capable of mentally stimulating her. Not all knowledge was the same to her. This helped somewhat clear up one of my negative views towards women in general. I normally don't have a problem with what women are attracted too. I do have a problem with the fact that many women seem to tell half truths about what the want. How man times have women said "All I want is a nice guy" while in the presence of a nice guy that they would not even consider dating.
Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs And when it's cold outside, I want to crawl inside of you --from Untied and True by Bang Tango
Oh Endo, you always have to make me think don't you? Your questions are full of depth and have no easy answer.
It has been my experience that womyn truly believe they want that nice guy. We go from relationship to relationship being disrespected, mistreated, or just plain ignored...just generally not finding what will quench our desire for love. We come to believe all we want is..."a nice guy that will treat me right"
We meet that nice guy and...there is no attraction or he's boring or he has bad habits that annoy us. It's always something that keeps that nice guy from being what we need.
It has to be a balance. No, he does not have to be GQ material, but he does need to be easy on the eyes. A sense of humor is a plus, being able to hold an intellegent conversation is nice...you know, the basics.
So to answer your question, no being the nice guy is not enough, and no being Fabio handsome is not enough.
Perhaps we do tell half truths sometimes in regard to what we want, but perhaps they are not intentional. Maybe like everyone else out there we're just to sure what we're looking for until we find it.
First, let me state that for the most part I don't have a problem with what a woman is attracted to. Though I do have a problem with people being attacted to married people. Whether it be looks, financial security, intelligence etc., I cannot contend that one is more shallow than the other or that one is more harmful to society than the other. Of course I wish more women were attacted to me, but that does not mean I blame them for liking something else.
My problem is with the misrepresentation. For two primary reasons.
First, it gives false hope to the nice guy, especially since the nice guy is usually hears it the most. The statement lowers the incentive to improve in other areas. Why is it that women so often say "All I want is a nice guy" and "You're a nice guy, but..". Do men do this? I don't think that I have. Have you ever heard a man say in the presence of a woman "All I want is a woman with a nice tight ass"?, followed by "You have a nice tight ass, but.."? I can see plenty incentive for women to reveal their true preferences. I believe that over time men evolve to be exactly what women want them to be. To include the other attributes that turn the woman on would create the incentive for men to improve upon those attributes. Both parties benefit. So, given that incentive, what incentive is there to tell the half truth? I have two theories. One, women are really turned on by men who don't pay any attention to surveys about what women are turned on by. Two, ..well that is my second big problem with the misrepresentation...
Second, it is often used to make women look less shallow than men. For some reason many women like to harp on men for placing importance on looks. They do this to such a degree that to admit any importance of looks on their part would make them look like total hypocrites. I say "looks are important, but...." and for some reason every word that I say after that is completely ignored. I have been branded as shallow.
But which one is more likely to get rewarded?
lun, BTW Nice GNR reference.
Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs And when it's cold outside, I want to crawl inside of you --from Untied and True by Bang Tango
If I had a nickel everytime I've been told that. And the two terrible women that did come into mylife only to take me for a terrible ride. =( 1st took a lot of Evil's money then disappeared. and the 2nd wanted citezenship.. Us Nice Guys are Obsolete.
But Now that I've given up on them. I feel a certain relief.
Edited by - evil_rip on May 28 2002
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - May 30 2002 : 3:20AM
I´m fugly, poor, constantly rejected for being a "nice guy"... o shitty life. I´m THIS close to give up women, but on the other side I´m too sissy to become a gay homossexual. Plus, the sight of the naked male form makes my stomach twist in revolt. So, it´s a no-win position.
Dang. Why life can´t be perfect?
.....
Blasphemy? Before what God? A God repulsed by the miserable humanity He created in His own image? I will not be shackled by the failures of your God. The only blasphemy is to wallow in insignificance. I have taken the refuse of your God and I have triumphed. There! There is MY creation!
go ahead give up. You'll feel better. No more worrying about being rejected. And why's giving up women = to being gay? Just be celebate. enjoy your hobbies. I finally got myself an airbrush system.. sure it took me 10 years to finally buy it for myself but Its worth it.
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Planet Sex Deactivated User
1951 Posts 6/01
Posted - May 30 2002 : 4:20AM
I´m giving up women, but not SEX! Well, I can always trust my hands. And in those moments of blind despair, there´s always poultry.
Planet, Give it all up. It's not worth it. Look at all the trouble it causes. trying to find happiness in that way brings nothing but sadness. giving it up.. you find happiness in new ways. or in things that use to make ya happy but you didn't give time to explore...
