Maybe if you viewed a woman friend as a friend instead of a woman, then you wouldn't see her as on the other side?
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| Endorphin Luminary  1185 Posts 3/00 |  Posted - May 25 2002 : 4:51AMI recently made a strong attempt to develop a friendship with a woman. I looked back on my life and regret that I was never content with developing just a friendship. Did I entertain the thought of this friendship including 'benefits'? Yes, but less and less with each passing week. The friendship was my number one priority. I hoped that both of us would be able to gain more faith in the opposite sex. Both of us had been hurt, but in different ways. Unfortunately, she decided to shut me out. Why? I don't know, because she really shut me out. This is very painful for me, for three reasons. First, because I take my friendships seriously. Second, because I did not get a fair trial. Third, I did not get the chance gain more faith in women, in fact she did more to support my negative views. This could possibly go on to hurt the future women in my life, though I hope it does not. So now I have to turn to the women of ADT in an attempt to somewhat minimize the the conflict between the sexes. I will follow up this interlude with at least one debate with which I hope to gain a better understanding of women and/or a change in others perseptions.
Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs Endorphin's ADT Lair Edited by - Endorphin on May 25 2002 [Link] |
| Janitor Retired Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99 | Posted - May 27 2002 : 11:19AM Maybe if you viewed a woman friend as a friend instead of a woman, then you wouldn't see her as on the other side? [Link] |
| Michael Saint Photographer Alexis Texas is always lovely 1062 Posts 2/01 | Posted - May 27 2002 : 11:33AM Endo I can't say I have ever had a female friend I have never slept with at least at some point. Though this usually came before the friendship (ie we were dating first then broke up but still hangout/talk/etc). However, I can't help but wonder why she shut you out. In my experience there are usually three main causes when a female friend shuts you out (at least temporarily). #1. She has/interested in a new guy and doesn't want you there to confuse the issue at first or he doesn't like you. #2. She was expecting something different from you. #3. You screwed up and it may not be something you think of as screwing up. Endo, I would advise that you don't give up. My female friends have lasted a lot longer in terms of staying in touch then any thing I have developed with men over the years. [Link] |
| Endorphin Luminary 1185 Posts 3/00 | Posted - May 29 2002 : 3:01AM Lee, your causes may explain cutting off a friendship, but they don't give good reason to shut somebody out. She escorted me to the door. The evening didn't go well, but that shoul not end a friendship, especially not a true friendship. Then she broke off all communication. You gave reasons for ending a friendship, but why might someone shut you out without explanation, let alone a fair trial? #1. Communication was shut down because due to circumstances beyond her control. For example, she's dead or she went out of town to visit a sick relative. She doesn't know that I have tried to contact her. I don't think this is the case because I know someone else she has contacted. #2. She is afraid that I will be violent. I don't think this is the case because I have shown no evidence of physical violence. Even so, I do not see why someone would be less pysically violent as a result of being shut down as opposed to being given an explanation. #3. She chose to end the friendship for purely selfish reasons. Hence, she never was a true friend. Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs Endorphin's ADT Lair [Link] |
| Janitor Retired Porno movies, sexy videos, xxx. Adult DVD Talk at your service. 6409 Posts 11/99 | Posted - May 29 2002 : 10:04AM I may have someone now, but that doesn't mean I don't know what it's like to be single. As much as I love being with Drew, I also loved being single. I always had a lot of male friends. And I was glad that they could just hang out with me and not worry about relationship/sex stuff. There were times when male friends clearly wanted more. And when I was younger and didn't know how to tell them to back off, then I might have avoided them. But I'm assuming the woman you're talking about is of an age where she can articulate her thoughts? Maybe she can't? - it's not an easy thing to do. It's hard to say without knowing the specifics of your situation. But I don't see how one or even ten women would affect your view of women as a whole. You may think it hurts more to reveal your feelings and get shut down, but I think it would hurt a lot more in the long run to keep your feelings bottled up (plus you'd miss out on some great experiences.) You have to go for what you want. Sometimes you get it. Sometimes you don't. I'm sorry you got hurt. But you can't give up after a few hurts. You know, the whole yin yang thing, you can't have love without the pain. [Link] |
| Endorphin Luminary 1185 Posts 3/00 | Posted - May 31 2002 : 2:27AM Still Campaigning for Inari Vachs Endorphin's ADT Lair [Link] |
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