Hi everyone, this is more of a personal topic, but I love to hear your input or share your experience. Porn has been deeply rooted in my childhood and I cannot give it up. I've been collecting and watching porn since I was 16, and it has boomed when I got access to the Internet. It started out with pictures then with videos online then purchasing DVDs online. When I first started dating, I told my girlfriend I watch porn and she was grossed out by it. She didn't like me checking out other girls on the computer or in real life, which is completely understandable. So I told her I stopped and just kept porn more secret to myself, but I continue to collect and watch. There's hotter and hotter girls out there. There's no way I can quit. I'm worried one day she'll find my stash, which is quite excessive. And it's gonna break her heart. I love her but I can't give it up either. Any suggestions?
Simple ... Buy yourself a rather large hard drive i.e. 3TB or even a NAS box. You could then convert all DVDs to file and have the whole collection on a hard drive (program called Handbreak will do this) - I believe if you have brought the original DVDs then this should be okay from a copyright point of view. If you are extra paranoid about her finding your porn then you can also encrypt the hard drive using BitLocker or something!
I don't trust men who don't like big tits. 1067 Posts 12/04
Posted - May 12 2013 : 7:37AM
^^What duke said. But sooner or later the shit is gonna hit the fan. I mean when do you find the time to watch porn? She's either gonna catch you in the act or you'll get frustrated at having to sneak around or not having quality fap time. That will lead to resentment. Maybe just bite the bullet and slowly let her know you still watch porn and deal with that drama, instead of outright getting caught and having double the drama.
[Link]
hoochimama Deactivated User
1437 Posts 5/10
Posted - May 12 2013 : 9:03AM
Given how nearly everyone enjoys porn I don't see what's understandable about it. You didn't stand your ground, now she rules you. I've seen this happen before, she doesn't allow you to watch porn, she doesn't tolerate you looking at other girls, she forbids you from even thinking about other girls, she's policing your thoughts. You're really gonna feel stupid if you find out she cheats on you. ____________________________ Please ID these PlayboyTV girls https://forum.adultdvdtalk.com/playboytv-foursome-identification-thread/ Edited by - hoochimama on 5/12/2013 9:13:59 AM
Some good posts on here and I agree a portable hard-drive is a good discrete way to store your porn. Regards your wife I've been through this with my wife as have many men I'm sure. I've heard all the 'aren't I enough for you?' arguments. She will catch you at some point and you have to think about what you will say when you do. Firstly you've done nothing wrong here. You're just a man responding to your urges. If she argues aren't enough for you? Then ask her if she's willing to have sex every day? No doubt she isn't which means you've got to get your kicks elsewhere. You're not fucking her mate or a girl from the office or visiting prostitutes your just looking at a bit of porn. You're not going to promise you won't watch it anymore because that would be a lie. Then you reach an adult agreement that you'll be discrete about it. You won't leave porno DVDs lying about, you'll clear your search history etc. That's what adults do. And seriously has she never read '50 shades of grey'? Never imagined you were an enigmatic handsome millionaire during sex? You're adults and you intend to be with each other for the rest of your lives. You've minds are allowed to wander as long as your dick doesn't whats the problem?
If you can afford it you could put your collection in a climate controlled storage facility or if you have a really close friend you can trust who has the space have him keep it for you, but don't get rid of it. I have had some friends who've gotten rid of their collections (porn or other things) to appease their spouses and later regretted it because they ended up splitting up. One of my friends who's been married over 40 years has an understanding with his wife. He keeps everything in a closet and doesn't look at it when she's around and she agrees not to mess with it. A wise man once said: "When your woman tells you to get rid of your stuff, it's time to get a new woman."
The solution is easy. Find a girl you can watch porn with. There's many of us out there who enjoy it as much as you do. Even better if you can find one who will let you re-enact all the scenes with her afterwards. ;)
The ethical issues of hiding your porn from your wife are your business. I can't tell you it's wrong (even if I think it's a bad idea). That's something you're going to have to work out on your own. Logistically, it's pretty much going to be impossible for you to hide this from her forever unless you just lay down a line of privacy and forbid her to cross it. She's going to wonder what you're doing. It's not going to be very hard to guess. Even a small porn collection can be difficult and time consuming to manage if you're trying to keep it secret. Frankly, I would say you just married the wrong person. If porn is this important to you, sooner or later, you're going to have to choose.
Bloody hell the guy comes on here to find out how to hide his stash and ends up being told he needs to divorce his missus. I don't think it's such a big deal personally. You can hide it, sooner or later she'll find out and you'll have to have it out with her then. Nobodies died, nobodies cheated on anyone. She's just insecure by the sounds of it so you'll just have to convince her that its normal, that you don't think any less of her and that you'll be discrete about it. But stick to your guns. Don't promise to stop because you won't and then that's worse because you've lied to her. If she loves you she'll come around.
I don't trust men who don't like big tits. 1067 Posts 12/04
Posted - May 12 2013 : 3:41PM
Right before my fiancee moved in with me I put what must've been 90% of my porn(mags/vhs) in storage out of fear so much would freak her out. Lol That more so than hiding it. I wasn't gonna give up porn. When she moved in she said she didn't mind me having porn, BUT I knew she was full of shit, so I played along. I didn't watch porn vuds/movies around her, but I didn't hide the pics(mostly big tit)on my computer. Hell my wallpaper/screensavers were big tit chicks. I offered to change them out of respect, but again she claimed no problem. So I kept calling her bluff until she finally admitted it bothered her..."Why do you need to look at?...I'm not good enough?" We discussed it, I tried to explain it. She got it off her chest. I kept right click/saving my ass off.
Yeah, dude, your girlfriend wouldn't find it suspicious that you've got a 3 gig encrypted drive? How would you cover that up? What about when she asks what it is that you have to encrypt, and/or wants to see it? That's not a workable option. The only option that is, is to have a girlfriend that either watched/watches porn, or at least a woman that doesn't think it's gross. My wife is, god bless her, worst case ambivalent, best case, helps me pick out the Brazilian porn at the local shop so we can go to dinner faster. My story is similar to yours, especially before her visa went through and we were doing the long distance thing, and I don't know how I could give up porn. Or, maybe just like your probable progression, you could convince her to watch a Vivid DVD and then slowly progress toward the raincoater genre?
Well, you said it. He came asking how to hide porn from his wife. I just leveled with the guy. I don't think it's going to be something he's going to be able to do. When she discovers it (and she will) she is probably going to demand that he gives it up. Women who hate porn usually don't "come around". They made their judgment long ago and they aren't likely to change. Not that it's impossible. Just that he'll be lucky if she does.
Thanks. I'll definitely check out Handbreak. I agree a small portable encrypted hard drive will be more discrete than a box of DVDs with cocks and boobs all over.
I've tried sharing my porn/masturbation detail with my ex before, and it didn't go well. She was accepting. And I got to the point where I was telling her to go away so I can watch porn. It'd quite gotten a strong hold of me. I think it's better to keep it secret and minimal. And I just enjoy it when I have quality lone time.
I don't think anyone likes their significant other checking out other people, including myself. So why am I doing this to her? It's hypocritical, but porn is a deep rooted part of me that I have tried to break free of, but had given up trying.
It's pervy. Check out my profile, and you'll see I like the young starlet pornstars. Highly inappropriate for a wife to see. Girlfriend skankiness: She likes to dress up and play around. But she doesn't like infidelity.
Porn is not the same as real life sex, unless the circumstances are, umm, odd. Porn use is very self orientated, whilst sex with a partner generally isnt. But you're saying above that you could no longer keep them separate? Ive never understood why women get so upset about their partners and porn. Men look at other women, be it on the tv, the computer, on the street, at work - well, anywhere. That is the way it is - its like asking a dog to be a cat for it to be any other way. Where the confusion, in my experience, seems to come in, is that women often think porn is "men looking at women sexually" without realising that is whats happening EVREYWHERE! My partner knows i look at porn. Occasionally (but rarely) we will do together. She knows i look at women in the street - i dont meen leer at, but 'notice' - same as every man does. ...but she also knows that i only fuck her, and that i find her as hot as any of the women in porn, on the street, in the office, or, for that matter, anywhere else. So theres no problem with the porn either : )
You don't have to do anything. She'll leave you eventually and you can watch all the porn you want. There is no such thing as a man hiding his porn from a woman who is a significant part of his life. She knows he has it, even if she doesn't know anything specific about it at all. She just decides how much of his libido and attention she can tolerate it taking away from her. When he crosses the line in her mind, she walks and finds someone else who actually wants her.
That's not understandable.. thats torture. You can't change the nature of men. Looking at other women is not like fucking them.
In general men have a higher libido the women.. so she demands from you that you don't jerk yourself when she isn't in the mood for sex? That's torture too. And now you are lying to her... that's not a good thing for a GOOD relationship. She should have embrased your collection with a warning.. That your collection doesn't become more important then her.
I had the same thing with my wife. When we first got together she found my stash got upset said all the usual things and I threw it away. Then over time I built up a bit of a collection and she found it again. She demanded I throw it away. I refused. She said she'd leave me. I said 'see you then'. She said something like 'you really think porn is more important than me?' I replied that of course I didn't but I do consider my personal freedom and my right to a little privacy to be very important. We argued a bit but eventually came to an agreement that she didn't want to know about it and that I would be discrete and we occasionally even watch porn together sometimes now. The issue isn't poem as such. It's about your right to be yourself without having to be unhappy just to feed your partners insecurity. Would you go mad if you found her masturbating whilst reading an erotic book? If you did then I would suggest that you were acting in an unreasonable and insecure manner. In a long term relationship then both partners need to be able to fantasise at times without fear of recriminations. As long as you're not cheating on her what's the problem? My wife now feels fine about me watching porn. She doesn't pry and I'm discrete. But the other day she asked to borrow my phone because the laptop was playing up. pulse quickens...'ok here you go'. She goes onto google my last search comes up. She just looks at me shakes her head and laughs and says 'dirty boy'.
Why do you have to "hide" porn from your wife? Grow some balls? Why did you marry a woman who does not like porn? Let this be a lesson to single guys looking to get married.
Thanks for the comment Kimi. I was thinking my ex would leave me after I was really addicted to porn at one point, but she never did. Eventually, I felt like I was hurting her too much so I broke up with her. There was a brief period i watched all the porn I wanted, and it was great. But I've gotten over it. I think my wife already suspects I'm still watching, but she hasn't been prying anymore. And I think I've gotten better control at keeping it at a tolerable level. On a side note, I haven't heard of you before, so I checked you out. You are BEAUTIFUL! Great personality, you are fit, and amazing ass. :)
Why do women really hate their BF/husbands/SO watching porn? This is something that has always perplexed me. The whole, "I'm not good enough for you" thing is complete bull. For god's sake it's NOT REAL! If you watch a drama and the anticipation heightens your level of ecxcitment or a comedy and you laugh they both allow you to engage in something outside of your everyday routine in a vicarious manner. Porn is no different. It's a means of temorary escape and a short journey into fantasy. My ex husbands and I watched porn, all of my former BF's have all watched it with me. I watch porn, probably more than most would guess. Tell her to lighten up or when she asks you to watch a movie (not porn) tell her some aspect of it makes you uncomfortable and maybe that will serve as a germ for a conversation on this. Edited by - wardqueenjanine on 5/16/2013 6:17:04 PM
I have to agree. Kimi is very attractive. Her boyfriend is a very lucky guy. Hopefully some of her scenes are still being sold (it has now been a few years since she has done any scenes), I have one of them and she is a great performer as well.
Its not shocking to see why people are surprised to hear about wifes not being happy about porn cause its adult dvd talk forum. Go and ask it out there, not all the people of earth are liberates as u guys here
If your wife was a vegan would you hide the fact you love steak and hamburgers from her? And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Guys like this are just setting themselves up for failure.
Respect I would say the harddrive idea as other people have mentioned. You can lock up the folders/files using folderguard or foderlock - meaning a password will need to access it. You don't necessarily need to hide the drive, if you have plenty of other things on it and enure the DVD names (in different folders) are within the locked folder you should not have any difficulty. By that I mean if you have a folder named "Anal Teens" or whatever - she is gonna know what it is whether you lock them or not. I will never get married and not because of porn. Marriage to me is bullshit, it's forced on us by society. It will only separate me from my money, and rule 1 is M.O.B - money over bitches. Most marriages end in divorce - fact. Think about it logically - what possible benefit comes from it? Some people may by into the whole "commitment" thing but that's bullshit. If you are truly committed you shouldn't need marriage which (if you think about it) is a contract you can terminate at any time. I have 2 girlfriends and have had so for over year. They both know I see another girl but I make it clear it is just 1 other girl. I keep them separate and make time for both. The overriding issue is the real issue here though and only you can make the decision. I think you options as it are: - Ensure you porn is secure and can't be found, the best option is the hard-drive - Discuss the issue with your wife and come to a compromise - Tell for wife how it's going to be!
It's not just about higher libido. It's also about infidelity, insecurity, and self-image. I can't realize sharing my porn habit with my wife because I am checking out girls that are younger and more attractive than her. It is unfair, and even mean to her letting her know I want to fuck them. She'll be thinking that I'm thinking about Remy Lacroix or Lexi Belle when I'm with her. I also watch some serious hardcore porn with all genre imaginable, S&M, gangbang, gagging, multiple penetrations, etc. There is no doubt it's gonna make her sick and will see me in a different light. That's why I rather lie instead...
ANTHILL_KING - I've been in here for ten years and have been in on a number of discussions of this topic. A search should turn up a lot of them. Here's one from about eight years ago. My situation has not changed much since then. I have been with my wife for 30 years now. I like porn. My wife hates porn. And she hates me for liking porn. Ours is not a completely healthy relationship. BUT, my porn enjoyment is NOT at the root of our problems. It may be a symptom, but there are a lot of other things of greater importance that we would need to fix before we got to my porn habit. The details of how we uneasily coexist with it haven't changed much since the post I linked above, so I won't repeat them here. If you are fairly new in your relationship, then like the others have suggested, I think you should probably try and find a way to discuss it and see what that brings. My wife and I never really discussed it, (just her periodic meltdowns), and now it is just another non-communication issue that we have. If you can avoid that you should probably try. If I thought that me giving up porn would solve all our problems, make everybody happy, and revitalize our relationship I would do it, but I know that is not the case, so things are what they are. An uneasy status quo. I see others giving you a lot of cut and dried, emphatic, "do this" or "do that" type advice. Some that involve ultimatums, some that involve drawing hard lines of demarcation. All I can say is that it's not always that simple. There are other considerations, especially if you've been together for awhile, that make things a little more complicated than "my way or the highway", or "this is me, take it or leave it" type approaches. Most relationships contain some level of discomfort or unhappiness, sometimes minor, sometimes brief. Especially if you are heavily invested. Just a matter of what the partners are willing to put up with in light of a bigger picture objective. But if it is something that one or the other just can't get over, well maybe it is better to find that out sooner rather than later. My spouse and I are not happy and our relationship may yet fail. Although after 30 years and raising two kids, I guess the better term may be the relationship may "end", since by many measures it didn't fail. We're very comfortable, financially secure, want for nothing, and got our kids to adulthood without too much incident. But we don't like each other all that much and now we're staring at what's left of our lives. We are not the first long time couple to face this dilemma. But my porn habit didn't cause that. It may be the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it was not part of the bigger issues that broke the camel's legs. If you think that all that stands between you and your relationship happiness is your porn, then you need to solve that. If not, then do what you gotta do. BSD Edited by - BSD on 5/17/2013 5:23:20 AM
Sales of trashy erotic novels are far and away at an all time record high. Most are sold in electronic form to women. Average mom can sit in a coffee shop and read florid erotica on a Kindle or Nook or iPad and no person in the vicinity will be aware. Ask your wife what she's been reading lately on the nookie Nook.
"No doubt"? Really? That statement is so wrong on so many fronts and offensively places all women into whatever category in which you think they fit. Why no doubt? Myabe your wife but not all women. I enjoy many of the same porn genre' as you. Shouldn't there be no doubt that it would make me sick too? I(f you are referring to some anecdotal experience involving you and another woman, that's fine but please don't try to speak for all women.
So, it is now possible to transfer hundreds of DVDs to an external hard drive ??? Wow !!!! Would a 3TB hard drive have enough memory ? And would I need Handbreak to rip the DVDs ?
Even as a direct DVD rip, it is possible to store hundreds of DVDs on a 3TB hard drive. Google would have told you a DVD has hundreds of times less storage capacity than a 3TB HDD.
To be blunt you should grow a pair and stop letting her manipulate you. Even if you think about these women you watch in porn, so what? There is nothing wrong with thinking of someone else or even being tempted. Acting on that temptation by propositioning or having sex with those you had fantasies about is what would be bad. If you would rather lie to her, she will resent you when she finds out and I wouldn't blame her for your lack of honesty. If you can't both be completely honest with each other, you're setting your relationship up for failure. Yes, you have a duty to support her emotionally but that support must be mutual. Don't let her take liberties and think only she needs support. You seem to have offered an inch but she took a mile and you sat there smiling about it. Are you truly happy in your relationship with her putting such guilt trips on you? Do you really find her insecurity and seemingly low self esteem attractive? Just my $0.02 but I can't see that relationship being "love" if I was being suffocated and manipulated by someone who wants things her way and only her way, especially when that one-sidedness comes from such insecurity. Edited by - JigglyBoobs on 5/17/2013 6:19:59 PM
You have to either put it on the hard drive mentioned or you're going to have to tell her. Do you really want to go on waking up every morning worrying " Is this the day she finally finds it?" What kind of life is that? She's going to be pissed off at you, but she will be more pissed if she finds it herself.
Why in the world, would someone want to be with someone, that doesn't allow them to be themselves!!! And why would someone fake the funk to be something he's not??? You're a perv and so what? If she don't like it, find a girl that will. I did. "I think you better check out TheDude because he is going to started an IR fight" - InFamous
Internet and video will eventually end. Porn addiction will be buried with the people who can't live without porn. You can be glad for any amount of sex you get while lacking confidence, and you can be glad you haven't yet lost body parts in a war or explosion.
Thank you for sharing that information. We are actually a very happily married couple. Our sex life is great and I am really into her. I'm able to keep my libido in check by watching porn, so I don't feel the need to check out girls on the street because I've already seen it all. On the other hand, when I shared my porn viewing with my ex, things turned out badly. She wasn't into me because she feels like she's not enough for me. So that led to me watching more porn. We kept at that for a while and I got to the point where I rather be by myself and watch porn all day so I broke up with her. I watched tons of after for a few months. I got bored then got into this new relationship.
Little Puck Interview
Posted - May 12 2013 : 3:16AM
.