But I would absolutely do a few things to polish and highlight what you've got -- number one on that list is fining ways to make you smile. Smiling is the number one most appealing and attractive thing a human being can do.

The other thing I'd say is that you're probably going to be a lot more handsome ten years from now. You've got real man's features, not babyface pretty boy looks. Provide you take care of yourself, you've got 30-50 years of getting more and more attractive.

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Number one, just because it's easier and quicker and almost as good, is get a professional shaping of the eyebrows. I'm not big on fakey stuff, but that could help a lot. If the eybrows are groomed, the hair will look very odd if it's not trimmed up as well.

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Maybe I was a little too negative in some parts of this post again, but hey, I had a barbecue with some buddies today and we drank a lot of beer, and it's past 5 AM now and you know...

I should stop calling well-meaning people provincial.

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Tough isn't bad, but you look too ready to handle things in a negative way.

Find some things you like to do which make you happy. Build on that feeling. If you don't believe in yourself, you will only find women who like that in a guy and 95% of that isn't good.

I still like the idea of kidnapping you and dragonsbum and spiriting you away to Amsterdam or some such location.

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He always kept his hair nicely cut. He got laid right and left. Really. He was quite the slut, truth be told. And you know something? He was only 5'7", not 6'1".

I hope you will post a pic with your new 'do.

Edited by - Ivory on 7/28/2005 2:05:18 AM

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You've probably had enough of all the advice now, but in case you haven't......

I used to lick a lot of girls' pussies before losing my virginity to one so I don't know if my recollections/advice might be of some use to you.

Before that, just one thing - due to time I haven't been able to read the whole thread but you might do well to remember something that is often mentioned here and there. That is that women are quite often attracted to a confident man. Although times have changed alot you'll probably find that a great number of women want the man to be the one to initiate the action.

Obviously this can only be done if the signs are right. Don't ask me how, but you'll just know that she wants you to proceed and interact with you when the time comes. If she doesn't, you should be equally able to read the signs - she'll be acting edgy and unrelaxed.

I always found that the old alcohol used to work wonders in breaking down barriers. Obviously the trick is not so get so schlosched that you are both unable to undertake whatever you're going to get up to satisfactorily/or, as I have on occasion found, at all.

Some other advice which might help - you probably loathe it, but exercise/toning up will work wonders for your own confidence and for the effect that it will have in getting you noticed. From looking at your picture I would strongly advise a trip to a good hairdresser. Ask for an appointment with the manager if possible and be prepared to pay quite a bit. Ask them which style they think would suit you best.

Lastly, have you ever considered contact lenses?

To summarise, slight image change; toning up; development of self-confidence. You'll then be ready to meet new girls. Either through friends, or through dating columns/agencies; or through something like an evening class focusing on a hobby of yours/somewhere it's pretty likely you'll meet some ladies. It might even be on the bus (I know of a married couple who met day after day at the same bus-stop on their way to work and got talking and so on).

Remember confidence, confidence, confidence. Also, that women like to talk. They're often much more verbally communicative animals than us men. You obviously know the trick about getting them to talk about themselves, but talk about yourself/your hobbies/likes and dislikes/what's going on in the world today - just like you do here with us in this forum (only in writing).

When you've got past the initial stages (wining and dining does work - women like to be made a fuss of (they are also not averse to being given flowers!), and if they keep on coming out with you, then chances are pretty good that they're interested in taking things further with you - unless they've made it clear that they only want to be friends) invite whoever the lucky lady is back to your apartment. Cook her a nice meal, and if she drinks make sure that your glasses are kept topped up with decent wine. Even better, champagne.

After dinner, suggest moving onto the sofa together to watch a film or something. If she agrees, chances are that you're on the right path. Put whatever it is on. Sit nice and close to her. If she doesn't object or try to move away, hey presto! Next move (again remember confidence - do it with as much confidence as you can possibly muster) start stroking her leg/her hand/whatever. If there's still no objection/you get the feeling she's enjoying what's going on then begin to make things more intimate with kissing. If all's well, have a good long snog, with lots of tongues and passion. Sense what she wants, but at the same time enjoy yourself and do what you want to do.

If it's all going to plan, you might want to suggest some more wine. Followed by more kissing/stroking. Or if things are hotting up fast then you might want to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and ask her if she'd like to stay the night. Be prepared for an acceptance or a refusal. If it's an acceptance then take her to your bedroom. Be gentle/passionate/whatever way the action is going. You'll be able to indulge in the oral sex you desire, and a lot more besides, if things have reached this point.

I hope that this might be of some interest to you. Good luck!

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Croy, I was in Amsterdam once and decided I couldn't have sex with the women there. I never saw such beauty anywhere else but they looked very young. Okay, I wasn't really desperate back then, so I guess if one of these girls would tell me she's 18 I'd just do it now.

Ivory, I hope that'll work with me, too. Though I'm still afraid that there are two many things women could not accept. Or in other words, there are not enough female sluts out there who'd just do it for the fun of it. I'll name some of these things a real slut wouldn't care about below. (And I mean "slut" in the most positive way).

APA, wow, that was one very long piece of advice! Sounds all logical to me and I even think that would work. Of course I would have to get an apartment of my own first (I still live with my parents -> women don't really accept that (sometimes, but only sometimes I envy men in the Middle East or in the Middle Ages who don't/didn't have to be Superman to get some). Then I would have to get a driving licence, then a car. Yeah, and then the whole wining and dining stuff and the flowers. Sounds all great but not exactly what an unemployed man who doesn't appear in the statistics can afford. I have absolutely no income right now, and if I had to pay $200 for anything it better be 100% sure that I'll get laid. That means I need a woman who just wants to get her pussy licked because it's fun, even if that's the only thing she'll get. Well, maybe a drink or two, but if that doesn't work I'd have to give up, I can't afford to buy a woman's favour.
Well, let's face it, it's not all about looks and money, but if you don't have that, you're doomed even if you carry the greatest heart and the best personal qualities along with you (though I don't say I have that). And that romantic love thing is way overrated. Women can watch Titanic and cry, but in real life it's not romantic to date a guy who has nothing than intangibles to give. I can accept that, but it makes me hate romantic movies like the plague, LOL.

Thank you all again for your nice, honest and well-meaning advice. I guess it could really work with all that (including a lot of confidence), but there's no easy trick to go round all this. I think we can stop this now and I'll see whether I can learn to accept it. Maybe some day I'll get a job but it's the same there, you're Superman and you know it, or you don't get anything.
And thanks for the good luck wishes, I'll need them.

I should stop calling well-meaning people provincial.

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Cheers, mate!

I should stop calling well-meaning people provincial.

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I've got some new advices for you that I have put in practice in my personal life.

1. If you're too easy, then women will loose their interests in you real fast.
2. Be nice at the beginning, but you can't be nice at all times. Some women are suckers for bad boys.
3. Hitting the gym is one of the best thing you could do for yourself. I've met so many women in there.
4. Life is not about getting laid, life is about getting laid with the right person... didn't make sense oh well.
5. If you have nothing to say after a hello, don't panic just relax and let her talk and say stuff like "oh really, that's good, incredible, I love it, oh my gosh I love this girl, etc" short phrases of that nature and include longer sentences every now and then. The more you practice the better. My previous job was to talk to people of all ages, gender, religion and background so I know what I'm talking about. And once you get the hang of it, you will see how easy words come to your mouth and how wonderful life is.

I don't know how old you are but my former boss is 45 y/o and he calls all the ladies "baby, sweety, etc" and believe me they love it, specially the older ladies. Now, if you are in your 20s you can't go to a 40 y/o lady and say "hey baby......" This technique is better if you're older say in your 40s and have a great personality.

Thank you and good luck my friend.

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Croy, I'd kill everyone who tries to gag me, and there's no need for binding me, either. Just throw me in to a girl, I'd gladly be her sex tool and let her have her way with me.

Fetish_Fanatic, thanks for sharing your experience. I know how frustrating it can be when you finally find a girl who's nice to you and later find out she doesn't like you. I wish you the best of luck so you'll find a sexy girl with a great personality that deserves you.

Lunacy, I'm glad to say that's a mistake I probably won't make. I tend to be too cautious, and maybe I could have moved on sometimes without noticing it. Generally I don't notice unobtrusive signs. With unobtrusive I mean almost everything short of a neon writing that reads "I want to fuck you. Now." So maybe there have never been any signs or I didn't notice them and the girls now think I'm gay. On the other hand girls sometimes notice signs I didn't give them at all. (You know looking at me, throwing themselves on their boyfriends, whispering in their ears, looking back at me with contempt, then back at their boyfriend with a save-me-from-that-monster look). Quite arrogant behaviour in my book and a turn-off to me, so there's a reason why I'm cautious myself.

Captain Cock, I agree with what you said. Every girl that said I'm good to talk to talked about 90% of the time. It's just that they all told me they're not interested in me except for being just friends. But to be honest, there's only one girl I was really in love with (the way I'd gladly have given my life to save hers and whatnot).

Maquiavelli, thank you for your compliments. Unfortunately I haven't read much of you yet, but hey, if you like me, you must be a great individual, too.
Oh well, I guess I can't do much about it, it'll just have to happen somehow. But as long as I can't talk to girls I'm not even interested in it probably won't.
Well, next time a woman offers me sex for money I'll just say "What about a blowjob?" instead of going away thinking "Would she buy heroin or cocaine with the money?" Oral is not dangerous for the person on the receiving end, right? And for the giver neither, if she blows a virgin, LOL.
By the way, I'm 27. Too old to be a virgin and too young to call women "baby", I guess.

Okay, now I'll try to squeeze the best out of my depression and entertain you a little bit in the other threads. When my posts start to resemble clown porn you should tell me, though.

Thanks to all you ADTers for being who you are, and keep ruling.

The world turns round and round and no one does anything against it.

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!You only get one go around on this token!

(Translation from Luna speak to English) You only live this lifetime once!

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!You only get one go around on this token!

(Translation from Luna speak to English) You only live this lifetime once!

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*somewhere sulking around until Kinzie does pirate porn*

Edited by - VincentVanGauge on 8/9/2005 8:22:25 PM

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Fact remains, doing nothing is not working. You have to change tactics.

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*somewhere sulking around until Kinzie does pirate porn*

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I don't know if I already mentioned this, but a friend of mine told me that his dad once told him that if you stand on a street corner and ask every woman who goes by if she'd like to fuck, you'll get slapped a lot, but you'll also get laid a lot.

A friend of mine who is very successful with women gets a lot of little heartbreaks, but he just brushes them off, mentally re-frames them within a couple of days and moves on.

The successful guys are not actually guys who never get turned down. They're just guys who can deal with it.

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*somewhere sulking around until Kinzie does pirate porn*

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kataboom, VVG said something that added up to intimidation. There was some other stuff wrapped around it, but that's what I remember it coming down to.

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Edited by - CG_Gurl80 on 8/11/2005 12:38:50 PM

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But what if it doesn't have to? I saw a movie recently (Adaptation) which offered a very profound thought. As two brothers suspect they're about to be hunted down and murdered (both played by Nicholas Cage), the happy-go-lucky one tells the dour one about a girl he had an enormous crush on in high school and how he told her one day how much he loved her. Nicholas the dour breaks the news to him that he overheard the girl ridicule him immediately after the confession. But the brighter Nicholas goes on smiling and is obviously unhurt by the revelation. Sourpuss asks him how he can be unaffected by what happened out of his earshot. Nicholas the better-adjusted replies that "my love is mine to do with it what I please. That it's not returned is not the point."

I thought this was an incredible insight. It got me to thinking about how most of us can go from love to hate in an instant if we feel betrayed. But is that really love, then? Or just self-love? When our self-image suffers such violence we start to loathe the offender for making it clear that we're not as swell as we thought we were a moment ago. If the love were real, wouldn't we be able to get by this and continue loving the person?

The lesson, here Vincent, I think, is simply to believe in yourself: Your fidelity to a value system, your willingness to sacrifice for others you admire even if they don't return the depth of your feeling, in short, a confidence that the sum of your experiences and thoughts have been consistent with what you think is *right*. If you have that peace of mind, I believe all setbacks can be met head-on and conquered.

And from what I know of you and what the vast majority of people on this forum say, I think you fit very comfortably into that category of people who do act consistently and considerably. Love yourself. If you don't, you really can't love anybody else.

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The eye contact, etc., up front is important, because if the girl doesn't return some of the interest, the approach is aborted.

This isn't actually game-playing, it's just reading people to see if they are comfortable with your approach, and to lessen the likelihood of rejection, etc. It's just a normal human thing, so don't go there. Even when shopping, I read the clerks before I approach to see if I am intruding. Women as well as men prefer being welcomed to being rebuffed, and there are simple things to do to make it more likely.

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CG_Gurl, you made me curious... I always love your replies...

Thank you everybody for your answers and for dealing with that Swiss Komplexhaufen*, LOL. I love you all.

*literal translation: "hang-up heap"

Sometimes it's better not to. That goes for abstaining, too.

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Lazenby has just done it too, and renamed his thread 'Closed'.

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Edited by - robbie on 8/15/2005 8:44:49 AM

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Vince you look fine, frankly after reading the first few posts I was expecting the worst but believe me there are quite a few people that look much worse than you do, percentagewise you can even consider yourself lucky so cheer up man!

I understand how lonely it can feel sometimes, I've been there too in my younger years but believe me one day the right girl will come along and it will be a dream. Just don't get too obsessed with not meeting anyone right now, and once you achieve that, things will happen, naturally.

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Robbie, I wonder what's up with Lazenby, too. Hope he's doing well and often. Or do we have to rename him Connery first?

Thank you Joey, I didn't know you can be so nice. Got your girl pee ration that day, huh?

Croy, let's just say I should learn 1 and half of 3. The latter helps not to mind too much what women say which is quite basic for any kind of relationship.

There's no such thing as inexistence.

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Cheers!

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You need to do something that's scary, that you don't want to do. You need to do something that ties a knot in your guts, then tears the whole damn thing apart.

What it is, doesn't matter. Quit your job, move to a new city, whatever.

Once you've done something that terrifies you so. You have your benchmark. Then you just think yo yourself, "Fuck it, I did <that>, I can talk to this girl."

It's a kind of baptism of fire. Put yourself through something that scares you, because after going through that, nothing can scare you. In a way, you need to lose all hope, so that you no longer care. If you don't care, you can do anything.

...worked for me

Read this, and apply.

Edited by - scipio on 8/20/2005 4:48:08 AM

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Wow, thank you, lunacy. I have yet to read a little more by you to get to know you but be sure I would be interested in you, too. You like fish, so I guess you wouldn't mind if I didn't talk all day long. And you said I'm genuinely nice, and I like it when girls notice that.

Scipio, that's an interesting idea. I must admit moving to another city would really terrify me. But rightly so, after one monthly rent I would starve. So please give me a job I can quit instead.
But maybe you just told me that I could do it already. I mean, I lost all hope long ago, and I fucking don't care about anything, or I would be looking for a job now. Damn, both kataboom and lindi are right, I don't even care so much about having sex (which could be a problem again, though). What I want is not necessarily having sex, it's having had sex, knowing I won't die as a virgin and filing that sex thing under "done".

There's no such thing as inexistence.

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Lost Horizon.. what's that supposed to mean?

scipio

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If you truly don't care, nerves won't be a problem.

scipio

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Well Vincent, I can be your virtual GF but Saki get's me the rest of the time. He has dibbs.

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