But what makes you think that single guys necessarily need your advice?

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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Take the advice that makes sense to you, that works for you, and discard the rest. Don't write it all off simply because you didn't ask for it. Sheesh.

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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Trust me.

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i laughed so hard at this. this whole thread made me laugh.

i'm already way ahead of your list. for instance, i prefer to go down on a girl at least half a dozen times (not in one sitting) before i even get my dick out.

i'm way ahead of you, BDG

[who you tryin' ta get crazy with, ese? donchu know i'm loco?]

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Bornyo, I'm don't have that 100% success ratio of Ryan81's cousin. Apparently I need the help.

I'd say the one about unknowingly having a gal have a crush on them - that is kind of her fault for not communicating. And really sometimes we are taking the opportunity to ignore it and not confront the issue.

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I don't know about finding the woman with no standards. Sometimes you can't tell who that is until after you discover from Rajiv in Marketing that you've had sloppy seconds.

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"...find women with no standards"

So THAT'S what I've been doin' wrong.

BSD

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With all these limitless and standardless women around, its no wonder guys stay home and whack it.

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I wonder if the account payable clerk realizes that chain and padlock necklace she's wearing means what I think it means, e.g. she's somebody's sub, and that opens up a whole new can o' worms, don't it?

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*Be real with yourself about how you look to others. You don't have to lift a single weight to get dates. You just got to get rid of them taped-up glasses, that Players Only jacket, and that "I'm in denial about how this shit looks" haircut.

_______________________________________________________

Can I at least keep the faded pink Polo shirt (with missing logo) and two-sizes too tight, flood-ready beige Dockers and sockless floppy topsiders?

PR For The New Core!

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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Truth is... "many" (not all) women dont know what they want. Most men dont know either, but then again atleast we make the first moves most the time.

In the ideal world I "should be" a perfect catch. Young (22), Independent (Rent townhouse), clean (my house is spotless, I dont play like that), educated (associates dg.) athletic (weigh 160, bench 215), tall (6'1") dark and handsome, could possibly fit my description also (I've never in my life had a girl call me ugly). But women dont exactly "flock" my direction.

Its all in perception. There is no formula to get women, nor any monetary/physical standards to meet really. I think its either just fate, or personality. Some women are superficial (money, car, dick size)... but even those eventually realize the guy is probably a bum later on and divorce/break-up... or some because he's "stable" enough (good job, decent looking, doesn't beat me up)... learn to "cope" with the flaws and stick around.

I dont have any problems getting pussy. But then again, there have been some month(s) long sex droughts. This topic is not a "guide" for men. Its just your opinions as far as guys YOU want. I know girls who would love a guy who jerks himself off all day (less work for her), plays golf all day (gives her her space), and even works at a job that EVEN HAS an accounting department (probably makes decent money).

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This is a guide on how to *get* some pussy, so jerkin' off and playing golf all day so a woman *doesn't* have to fuck you don't figure into this equation. I can guarantee you if you follow this guide, you will get some pussy. But you don't even need it, Jay, cuz you said "I don't have any problems getting pussy." What I would like from you is more tips to your brethren on how to get some pussy. They need your assistance.

ma meeshka: That's *exactly* what I'm talking about. You attract girls who are not your type. Well guess what dude, if you constantly attract women who are not your type, that's life telling you that you've chosen the wrong type to seek. Trust me...pussy feels good no matter the package it's in. That's why it gets so many people in trouble. Change your type and hit that poonanny.

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i guess i'm talking relationships here, because sex goes hand in hand with monogamy for me. i don't just want to 'get some pussy.' if i want to get off i know how, i don't need a woman.

my posts don't really have a point, i was just expressing where i'm at.

[who you tryin' ta get crazy with, ese? donchu know i'm loco?]

Edited by - ma meeshka on 8/11/2006 6:24:50 AM

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There's something in the tone of the original post that rubbed me the wrong way and I think I've figured out what it is: it's all about "change for me, if you want what I've got you'll do what I want you to do, and act the way I think you should, and you'll smell good while you're doing it, too, oh and lose the 'tude, too, dude, just 'cause you went to all the trouble and I gave you the thumbs down does not give you the right to tell me I'm a snotty little bitch in need of a good spanking".

I volunteer to do the honors, by the way. But I digress.

On men, for women, no surprises here:

* Sometimes we smell bad. We fart. We sweat. We wipe our mouths on the backs of our hands when we don't have a napkin. Ew, yeah, I know. We used to play with smelly dogs, too, maybe still do, and you don't want to be in the same room when I take these boots off, believe me.

* Sometimes we're lazy. We'll play video games until our hands cramp up but we won't take out the garbage, or we drink beer and watch football all day and maybe take a nap in that plump cushiony recliner we worked ten years to be able to buy. I've seen my wife stay in bed reading trashy novels all day, and don't even get me started about the kids. We're all lazy sometimes.

* Bad boys are a myth. We're all bad, some of us are just better at hiding it than others. We always ask our buddies if he hit it after he's been out on a date, and when you take us home to meet your parents we check out your mom and your sisters, too. We can't help it. "Bad boys" who overcompensate with all the tatts and are all pumped up from working out too much and ride loud-ass motorcycles and all that are either 1) the real deal, a badass and don't fuck with them or 2) queer as hell. If women give it up to #1, they should expect a beating at some point in their near futures when they mouth off with that "change for me" bullshit and don't come fucking crying to me because I already told you so.

* We like our dicks sucked just fine but we also know no matter how ugly and smelly we are we can get a blowjob for $50. OK, maybe $100, I don't know. I'm sure there are people on this forum who could tell you a real dollar figure, I'm just making a point here. Sometimes we just want a blowjob with no strings attached, no housework, no fucking ring on your finger, no cuntlicking, just a blowjob for the joy of it and act like you like it. You want your clit licked? Turn over and let me stick it in your ass first, then we'll talk. If I'm still awake, that is. And go make me a sandwich.

* We don't care about our hair. We do weird shit to our hair and think it looks cool and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise. For proof, I offer any UFC pay-per-view. Go rent one of the old ones. Look at the goofy shit badass dudes will do to their hair and facial hair. We don't care who doesn't like it. If we do, or we talk about hair gel as 'product' and we're not barbers, we're gay.

* We don't know fashion from our assholes. That Members Only jacket looked good in 1984 and by God it looks good now. If I can point to suit and say Paul Smith or Jean Paul Gaultier, or a pair of shoes and say Dolce and Gabanna, and I'm losing cred just knowing these off the top of my head, I know..if we're dressed in Armani, have 'product' in our hair and smell good, we're either 1) rich or 2) gay.

* You can only be fatter than me if it doesn't rule your whole existence and don't expect me to lie to you because your step-father used to drink and try to touch you or some shit. Look, we all had shitty childhoods or at least most of us, so get over it. You feel like you need constant validation as a person? I don't have the energy. I don't want to hear 'do I look fat in this' and have to lie about it because GUESS WHAT: if you're fat, then YES, YOU LOOK FAT IN THAT. You look fat in everything! Put down the Haagen Daaz and take a walk. And give me a blowjob when you get back.

* Then make me a sandwich.

Edited by - cobalt60 on 8/11/2006 10:14:22 AM

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Everything you said was spot on. That's why women have to be up front about what they want. If she wants the trash taken out right now and not during the next commercial, she needs to take it out herself. She should have a little courtesy for her man and ask, "Hon, will you take out the garbage at halftime?" How hard is that? And you know what, he'll probably forget to do it at halftime. Or he'll do it after he takes a crap, gets another beer, and prepares a snack. He'll likely remember to do it; he's just doing it in the order of importance to him. If he forgets, take it out yourself. If he always forgets, say something about it, but don't nag. He's not one of your children. He's your mate.

And for God's sake, don't hold it against him if he doesn't take the trash out, particularly if you expected him to do it on his own and you never asked him to. Fuck, I hate that shit. Ladies, want to get laid by a man who truly wishes to give you unconditional pleasure? Treat him like an individual human being, and not as a list of expectations other men have never met for you. Figure out what you want, and tell him. Is that really so hard? The common answer I get to this advice is, "I shouldn't have to tell him. He should know." Women who believe that are doing themselves and their men a great disservice, and they're destined to be eternally disappointed.

But Cobalt, asking a man to groom himself and dress appropriately for any given occasion is not asking a man to change who he is. It's asking him to better himself. There's benefits for the man, such as greater respect at work, increased self-confidence and positive attention from all he comes in contact with. Putting your best foot forward and looking your best is a good change, no matter who gives you the idea. Don't know how to dress yourself? There are plenty of resources out there, GQ for example. Think you can't pull off that GQ look? Of course you can, with some effort and an investment in your wardrobe. Instead of buying the latest game system, buy an all-purpose sport coat. Get some real shoes. Don't think of it as catering to women or bowing to their demands. Do it for yourself.

I've got more to say on this, but I got things to do.

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Somehow I doubt I'm getting laid writing shit like that, but I bet I could get bought a beer, and I'm already married, so life, as they say, is good.

Pagoda, you are a one of those women I would point out when my whiny drunken single friends say all women are fucked in the head. I'd say, 'no they're not, I married one, right? (they always agree I got the only 'good one'), and there's Gondola, and threesomebody, and oh yeah, you all don't read ADT, and they're already married, oh well'.

I hope your husband appreciates you. If I were your guy, I'd give you orgasms until you begged me to stop, if you asked me to. I'd even wait for the commercials if you were all into whatever 'men are pigs' crap was on Lifetime at the moment. And take out the trash after. And make you a sandwich and bring it to you with your favorite cold beverage and smile and look at you all google-eyed while I set up the tv tray and took your plate back to the kitchen when you were done and washed out the cup and put the plate in the dishwasher. Ain't we something?

(And yes, I, we, can pull off the GQ look, I was going purely for Adam and Jimmy style there at that point. I look damn good in tailored Armani, we all do, and that ain't gay, that's just good quality.)

I love this fucking place. Goddamit. I'm not getting sucked back in, no fucking way, no. NO! Yeah, right.

Edited by - cobalt60 on 8/11/2006 12:20:34 PM

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When I haven't showered or shaved, get drunk as a pig, wear the same ratty jeans and stained shirt, and talk a dumptruck's-worth of shit, THEN I get laid.

So, either the women of NYC employ different guidelines or I'm one charming motherf*cker. Or it's all just crazy and random.

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Pagoda, you're giving me some serious wood over here.

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"Vegetarianism for me is about saying ‘yes’ to things - even meat." - Coupling

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Our parents, instead of changing and growing together, grew apart and split up. When things went wrong, they looked outside their marriages instead of inside, and they had their heads up their asses about what marriage really is. It's a partnership. Even in old days when the woman stayed home and the man went to work and the roles were clearly defined, it was still a partnership. They worked together. Were things always peachy keen? Absolutely not. Did they stick it out and grow old together? Yes.

When "we" talk about making a commitment for life, we don't really mean that. And we have no idea what it takes to make it to a golden anniversay. Oh man, I'm getting up on a soap box here. Better take a break.

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I don't know about gettin' pussy, (married 23 years, so YOU KNOW I'm not getting any!), but if you're a guy, I know a secret to attracting it.

Put a wedding ring on your finger and then just stand there. Don't chase them cuz they'll know you're a dog tryin' to creep, and won't like or respect you. Just stand there. Or sit there, or whatever. I got married and for work reasons was immediately separated from my wife for the first eight months of our marriage. Brand newlywed, with the ring still gleaming on my finger, and back out in the street.

I couldn't believe it.

When I was single, I was gettin' shot down left and right, having all kinds of problems gettin' any play. I got out of circulation and got married and went on about my business.., THE WOMEN STARTED FALLING OUT OF TREES ON ME! Approaching me, hitting on me, damndest thing I ever saw. The flirting, the coming on, the straight out propositions, it was amazing.

I was like: "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU PEOPLE BEEN?! I've been single and jackin' off for awhile, and couldn't get the time of day from you folks, AS SOON AS I GET MARRIED, I'm gettin' lap dances from co-workers, notes left on my car from women in my apartment building, and panties tossed my way from strangers. (Well, maybe not the panties, but the other stuff is true.) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???!!!! AAAARRRGGGHHHH!! And I made no effort to hide the fact that I was married. Didn't hide the ring, or lie or any of that stuff."

But there they were. And then they have you in the old moral dilemma. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Or, you can do like I did. Hello porn store.

Smile.

BSD

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