First off...being shy isn't going to get you anywhere. Some girls may think it's kinda cute once they get to know you but they won't even know it until you do something to get their attention. Nothing good is going to happen until you come out of your shell and take a chance on rejection. If you truly are goodlooking and no girl is paying attention to you there might be something about your demeanor or personality that turning them off or keeping them away. Do you smile at women or look away? Are you a good converstationalist? Are you going to places where there are lots of women around?
hey draxxx thanks for replying, to be honest my first impression is that i am very shy, i normally walk past girl look down, my my hand over my face, or have been told a mean look like i am pist at women. i been told i am nice looking guy but seem to be invisible to girls. sometimes i guess when i do look though dont make it so noticible.
just fake it till you make it... i learned this as a stripper, i had very little confidence and self assurance and didnt feel sexy i felt akward when i first started stripping, i had to fake all that stuff to make sure i was making $$$ theni kinda started to see hmm i am kinda sexy and seductive, then i became more comfortable with my self, not nessicarily my body but just playing a sexy vamp who wanted to be nothing but your sexual desire.... make a point when you go out to maybe smile coily, walk up and just chat, compliments are amazing, you'll get off to a good start by saying something GENUINE but NOT DISRESPECTFUL... and dont over think it, obviously offer to buy a drink, ask if she goes out to the club or bar much, maybe a couple jokes.... i dont know i think you over analyze the situation... how old are you if btw? "im the girl your mother warned you about"
hey lilmiss i am actually 33 years old. i have been through alot of rough relationships, so i think that has alot to do with it also why i am like this towards other women. i travel alot also live in illinois, have a house in ft. lauderdale on the beach, been to italy couple of times. so i am very laid back guy like to try anything once.
Only if he's a guy that looks like a model. Otherwise, your getting nowhere doing/saying most of that stuff. I'm sure no guys buy girls drinks.. or compliments.. bc that never happens to the girls that are confident in their looks.
^ i disagree completely... if the guy is genuine and really making an effort with out looking like he is making and effort and by buying a girl a drink atleast he is getting him self out there, and putting him self in the situation for a conversation.... i dont know where you go to but i cant think of one girl who would turn down a drink and wouldnt be flattered by a genuine compliment, maybe those are things you dont do and thats quite possible that you have your own "game" you play but the majority of women dont like "games" anyway and when a guy is nice, compliments you, and buys you a drink thats a breath of fresh air compared to losers who try those lame as line and "play the game" bullshit... i just roll my eyes when i see some tool try that crock of shit. you are not a girl, so despite what you may read in a mens magazine, or hear your buddies say works with a girl you really dont know what each and every women likes or will respond to.... "im the girl your mother warned you about" [mod edit: removed quote] Edited by - killbillvol69 on 3/18/2009 1:56:36 PM
You should think twice about following this advice. Everyone is different but personally I'd avoid offering to buy a girl a drink as soon as you meet them. Of course a girl wouldn't turn down a free drink. But that doesn't mean you're going to get anywhere with her. Guys buy girls drinks all the time and get absolutely nowhere in many cases. It's unoriginal and you'll just get frustrated spending money for nothing and start resenting the women. In fact, it's not a good idea to start throwing money or gifts at women until you build some sort of real relationship with them. Many girls will gladly take your money and gifts with no intention of ever thinking of you in a romantic way and simply string you along. Some of them won't do it to be cruel but justify it by saying they think of you as a "friend" or big brother. I see this happen too many times to nice guys. If you're at a bar or a club just walk up to a woman introduce yourself and throw a sincere compliment her way. Don't use a lame pick up line. Just be real. If she isn't interested no amount of free drinks will change anything. If she doesn't seem interested just accept it and move on. Don't worry about trying to pick her up, just try and have a nice conversation with her. Even if she just ends up thinking of you as a "friend" she'll probably have girl friends who could be interested in you. Even if you spend the whole night trying to pick up someone and don't do it just look at it as practice and working on coming out your shell. Oh yeah...make no mistake...it is a game. But when you know and understand how the game is actually played you'll fair a lot better.
And I thought we were the best of friends lol. I have a feeling this is gonna be a long post... "so despite what you may read in a mens magazine, or hear your buddies say works with a girl you really dont know what each and every women likes or will respond to" Don't assume anything about me... Your right, I really don't know what each and every woman likes.. and you don't either. You can't say the majority of women and such.. bc your only one woman. Of course every girl is gonna take that drink, and be flattered. That doesn't mean that they are gonna be suddenly interested. If this was true.. you women wouldn't be missing out on the good guys, and wouldn't be complaining about the "tools" that "gamed" you. He could be a sincerely nice guy, that thought he had to give you a line for you to be interested.. or there could be a "tool" that just ran "game" on you doing exactly what you said. Guys still use lines tho? really? I don't really have "game" per se.. i'm genuine in my approach to women. I'm genuine to the fact that she'll know what i want from her.. either girlfriend status, or just to take her home (don't say anything.. bc women have fuck buddies too). I'm just stating my opinion here, and not making it personal to you.. but you are. It's just not cool flaming someone on a forum, and you don't know who they are.
look i am not trying to offend you so please understand that... and i do happen to know a little bit more about what women respond to because i am one and have many many many g/f's and we have talked about this. so lets agree to disagree, btw i am not "flaming" you... i can be a bit brash but unless i am cutting you down or making insulting coments to you for what ever reason do understand i am not trying to talk shit to you... im sorry you are so easily riled and offended.... as to the buying her a drink thing... i meant if there is conversation started and she seems receptive... bc it would just be a cordial gesture seeing as how you are engaging with her for more then just a hey im so and so blah blah blah.... as for missing out on good guys, i have an amazing man, and i fell for the sweet gestures and no "playing the game" bs he had... he was just himself, open-minded, honest and sincere. not to mention very easy on the eyes IMO. "im the girl your mother warned you about"
if you cant handle the heat then get out the kitchen... shit you guys crack me up! this is a friggin porn forum.... and if people (not meaning JUST you) take things on her too seriously they must have some deeper issues that need some resolving on a personal level.... hey mods... the ones who have met me.... please let homeboy know here i am actually a cool chick..... i just am very opinionated, to the point, and thats that "im the girl your mother warned you about"
^ Mods... have met you... in which sense? So the secret is finally revealed - there is no need to be hot guy - you only need to be mod on ADT . No offense lilmissmackenzeepierce but seems you're getting this too serious too. btw one offtopic story. I know one girl. Everybody who knows her says two things for her - first how beautiful is she and second how great personality she have(yes she IS real - this is real story). But she does not think for her as "chick" and in general doesn't seems to be too confident in her. Don't know what why but for some reason she is very touchy on some topics - for example once I ask her if she have done some calculations and she replies me that she is not so stupid and I'm not so smart(not the exact quote but in the same sense) - I've just asked because I've got some problems doing the calculations - and in my opinion there was absolutely nothing in my question that even distantly can make a reference to that she is stupid or cannot done the calculations. So from somebody that does not know her well at times she seem very bitchy - but I'm pretty sure she is not and she is very nice person - or who knows maybe she is not and I'm tricked by her beauty. Anyway this get too long so enough off topic. @lovetoeatgirls2775 - I was very shy as kid too. You're not invisible - it's only in your mind. Just be more confident at you. I know it's not very easy to change the way you thing - but reading advices from forum (especially porn one) could be one very bad idea. And what are those things about "playing the game". The grown men does not play games. And maybe I'm wrong but some girls tend to like grown guys.
Shake for me girl... I wanna be your backdoorman ! 2776 Posts 10/07
Posted - Mar 20 2009 : 9:08PM
From what I've been seeing lately girls [in their 20's and some in their 30's] like the best looking, richest, most lying, cocksucking assholes in the bar.
hehehe no silly i met them at avn by the circle bar.... had dinner with a few and the anabolic guys one night also..... "im the girl your mother warned you about"
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 6:35AM
It seems like you're basically saying that he's communicating subservience by choosing this particular user name. Not exactly an alpha male quality.
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 6:47AM
You aren't dumb. I for one never thought that.
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 7:14AM
I agree with most of what Draxx is saying. However, I think the gist of what Mackenzie was saying was to just get out there where the girls are and find a way to interact with them. Step number one is to go where the girls are. Gotta do it. Yeah, in most cases, buying girls drinks is the complete wrong move, but in your case you just need to get out and start interacting with them and desensityzing yourself to the reality of talking with beautiful women on a regular basis. But yeah, just understand that buying a girl a drink typically doesn't work. Don't go crazy with the compliments either. Hot girls get that shit all the time and they think it's boring. But, again, if that helps you open then go for it. I told a couple girls last night that I liked their glasses. It wasn't great, but it worked to kind of break the ice a bit. I really think the biggest thing for you is to simply force yourself to interact with women however you can. You might also consider some therapy. It sounds like you've had some financial success, so I'm guessing you can afford it. I'm personally very interested in cognitive therapy, which as I understand it is very much about understanding how our own thought processes work. I find that sort of thing extremely interesting and if it can help me in my career and social life, then all the better.
If it wasn't for "insecure little boys" who would buy all the porn?
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 7:28AM
I finally got to the bottom of this thread and I have no idea what Mackenzie said that was so wrong. She's opinionated. Get over it. To the original poster: it sounds like you have a lot going for you, but you need to make some changes to realize your full potential and reach the level of happiness and personal fulfillment you deserve. You need to understand that YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE THOSE CHANGES!
Would a self-assured but not cocky(no pun intended)guy who does not have any jealousy or over possessive issues be something that you girls look for? Someone who is open-minded and not at all judgemental of your career and understands the line between work and play. I know from the few strippers I've dated, if you have all that and can make them laugh and relax you are a real catch. Being decent looking and in shape helps too. Edited by - goodblow9 on 3/21/2009 11:37:25 AM
WOW! This is one of the most popular "normal" topics here. Its nice to see mostly everyone getting along and sharing their opinions and giving advice. Its like Thanksgiving dinner around a giant table with ADT members.lol! But I have to agree with most. Confidence! Not being afraid to go and talk to a girl. Though I know for some guys when the girl has a group of friends just as hot as she is, it can be a little intimidating to go up to a table full of beautiful girls and spark up a conversation. That's why its good to have friends with you to help you out in those situations. As far as Porn Starlets go. You are hearing their opinions on the matter. So that is as good as its gonna get. As far as trying to date one. Hillary Scott is an exception as well as a few others maybe. Seeing as how they get swarmed by guys all the time spouting lame ass game/lines(just to try and get laid), the truly sincere guys kinda get drowned out because of it. But hey who knows?! Personally.......I never got down with the "Game" thing. I'm not into games for one. And two.....it takes too much work. I see guys pretending to be something they are not all the time or trying to use some horribly fake swagger to try to get with a lady. It is so bad! lol! The one thing I will say is this. A lot and I mean a lot of girls say that they don't mind looks and that they look for guys that are kind and sweet, etc, etc. That is not true at all in most cases. At least from my perspective. Most girls say they want that, but what they really want is the total opposite. They want the bad boys. The ones that don't pay attention to them and so on and so forth. I'm not saying totally abusive guys, but you know....guys that don't really care. Bad guys as I like to call them. And then those same girls wonder why they had their hearts broken, ended up divorced, or are now a single parents with no father figure around. It's like "What did you expect?". Some girls think they can change a guy in time, but it always ends badly. To get back on track to what I was saying. This is kind of like a double edged sword. Girls say they want one thing when what they really want and go for is the other. Sometimes being direct and confident isn't enough. Every situation is different though.
*****The Dr. of Nasty*****
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Bluto Deactivated User
511 Posts 3/09
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 1:04PM
The best sex is always with women who lack confidence. They try harder. I'm guessing Paris Hilton is a dud.
Very true, very true. But I think that's why they say that the love is blind. And I think this is true not only for the girls but for the guys too. Also maybe I'm old school but I really think love is something great that just happens - you can't(and there is no need) to explain it. If you get all the girls are have felt in love you'll need to be very creative and with very big imagination to found a single thing in common between them(maybe expect that only one of them does not have blue eyes). I know this topic is about the porn stars and what and how fill and who I love is totally offtopic but I suppose I'm not the only one that thinks this way - and who knows maybe even some of the porn stars thinks alike too And to return to the topic. I think there is a lot of true in the words of Dr. Nasty words. Don't get too serious all the things you listen about what the girls(or particular girl) like. If you like a girl that is the only thing that really matters. Well maybe she will not like you - but there is absolutely no way to know if you don't try.
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 5:28PM
It isn't that they want "bad" guys, but women most often tend to be attracted to alpha male types - which is why confidence is so attractive to them - it's all on the same spectrum. Bad boy types, for better or worse, often exibit a lot of alpha male characteristics.
Yes they do. The girls I have seen and talked to say they want and like the "bad boy" etc. Hell if you pickup a magazine half the time you'll hear a girl say the same thing.(for the first time in my life I read a girl say she wanted a "Corporate Thug" and "Thug with a softer more gentle side". LMAO! I never new that type of person exsists. Actually they dont.) "Alpha Male" traits and characteristics aside the end result usually ends up the same. Bad! *****The Dr. of Nasty*****
To the original poster: A definition of terms may be needed. "GAME" also known a "Rap" is basically your conversation and "smoothness" skills. As I mentioned before if a girl is really into you you can talk about paint drying and the girl will hang on your every word. One would think that celebs and rich guys have great "Game" but many of them tend to be boring blowhards that get girls mostly because of who they are or what they've got. If the girl isn't so into you then you need to have at least decent conversational skills. Enough to hold her attention and not come across as strange or lame. conversation is a two way street. If you're doing most of the talking try and figure out if she's actually into the conversation or feels trapped listening to you. It's always best to try to get the person to talk about themselves. That way you know they aren't totally bored. And if they're asking you questions in return you know she's interested in what you have to say. That's a good sign. "Smoothness" is basically your confidence level and abilty to keep her interested while moving things forward. Total smoothness would be the abilty to get her to have sex with you before the night is over. Really smooth is her asking for your phone number. Smooth is getting her number. Not smooth is her excusing herself to go to the bathroom and never coming back. Total unsmooth is her refusing to even talk to you at all. "PLAYING THE GAME" is basically the game guys and girls play when it comes to trying to hook up with each other or not trying to hook up with each other. Despite what you're hearing here "playing the game" isn't always a bad thing. If you're specifically out to meet women you're already playing anyway. The game has different levels. You need to know and understand the game to keep you from wasting your time (and money) persuing women you aren't going to get anywhere with or giving you the advantage to getting somewhere with girls playing the game (even if they don't realize they're playing). The most important aspect of "playing the game" is actually having a game plan. At the very least that means getting out there and making some sort of effort. Oh yeah...Typically the most successful guys are the ones who aren't afraid of failing. When they fail they don't let it slow them and move on to the next girl.
Edited by - draxxx on 3/21/2009 7:43:17 PM
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Porn Scout Deactivated User
3735 Posts 10/02
Posted - Mar 21 2009 : 8:06PM
^ Yeah, but just playing the game doesn't make you a player.
I know right.. I think its them trying to mold that "bad boy" into a nicer guy. Most girls (20's & some early 30's) wouldn't know how to recognize a nice guy & what to do with em.
Why does it matter what they do or who they prefer off the set? Some people, I think, have kind of lost touch with reality if they expect a porn chick to have no standards just because she's a porn chick.
I already know what it all means. Also, Its just like they say and like Unferth quoted. "Don't hate the player hate the game." "The game" being the entire event/process. Sometimes you look too far into things. lol! Edited by - Dr. Nasty on 3/22/2009 12:39:57 PM
I never said or implied you didn't. I clearly and very obviously made the point at the beginning of my rant that I was speaking to the original poster. I only used a portion of your post to try and make the point that "playing the game" isn't automatically negative.I went too far because I wanted to get my point across and explain exactly where I'm coming from since several people said things regarding "playing the game" that weren't realistically going to help him in any way and made the comment come across as a bad thing. Saying stuff like "don't hate the player, hate the game" can be fun clichés to toss out but really don't say or explain much.
^ Ah! I see. I thought by original poster you were referring to my post(the one you had quoted). Its all clear now. As for your comment about those statements being cliche. Isnt "Game" itself cliche. While that phrase was and is quite lame it was proving my point that "Game" isnt just about "Smoothness" etc, as you put it. Its about everything. To me it is pretty much an exaggerated or fake performance put on by a guy to get a girl. The term was created by people/celebrities as another way to describe dating itself. It certainly is not a textbook term. lol! *****The Dr. of Nasty***** [mod edit: removed quote] Edited by - killbillvol69 on 3/22/2009 9:17:12 PM
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Ida Lupino Deactivated User
429 Posts 11/08
Posted - Mar 22 2009 : 9:30PM
You are making assumptions from a very small pool of observations. It has more to do with education than anything else. Girls who drop out of highschool usually end up in a very low income envirenment due mainly to their inability to meet talented men.
^ Smart and educated women end up with losers and users too. Perhaps I have only seen a small portion of the total sum but from what I've seen/hear many pornstars and strippers end up with guys who basically use them or don't contribute much to the relationship other than grief. I'm not claiming it's true 100% of the time but it happens that much too often. And in many cases the girl can't or resfuses to see it.
well to my topic it seems like i am meeting the wrong kind of girls, cause most porn stars are actually like very sweet and nice. were most other girls that are good looking but not like hot like porn stars think they above everyone else.
^Pornstars can be sweet and nice. That's not to say they can't hook up with the wrong guys. That's not to say that pornstars will be the best girlfriends for every guy. That's not a knock on pornstars as people but what they do is very hard for many men to deal with.
I think it depends on the girl. It was mentioned well if you saw the guys alot of the girls date you'd be how surprised how normal and clean cut they how. That may be true but i can only go from what I've seen. I know of one ex star dating a normal guy. On the other hand from my trips to the conventions and seeing all the girls there with their boyfriends, sorry but they do not scream normal and clean cut. They scream bad boy and issues. It's no mistake that the term suitcase pimp is not a term of endearment. I see alot more of that than the normal guy thing. I think the thing that's hardest for the normal guy is not the dating of the porn star it's the not being able to reconcile if they don't want the crazy sex with you. They may want to just make love and missionary it since they get all the crazy stuff at "work". While the normal guy may want that too I'm sure issues could arise with the hey, on occasion I like anal or I like to give facials and get wild too sometimes but you never want to since you're burned out on that at work and you wont to that with me but you will with some strange dude. Kimi Lixx,Julie Night,Tina Tyler and then everyone else.
Hello, Kelly These neanderthral thinking people who think this have the inablity to grap these cold hard FACTS: 1. You are having sex on camera with performers. 2. You are having sex on camera in positions to turn on the viewer. 3. Your are having sex with men who can maintain an erection after numerous interuptions. 4. You hare having sex with men who are STD tested. 5. Your sex on camera is a performance for a specific audience as well as for sexual enjoyment. Unfortunately, these neaderthrals find these FACTs very hard to vision much less comprehend.
Wow. I initially tough that they just met you. But dinner. With Mackenzee Pierce. How I can become ADT mod? Please, please I want to be ADT mod. I'll do anything. I'll give one of my balls and my left hand just make me mod Oh dinner with Mackenzee Pierce - definitely worth the sacrifice.
Introducing Lady LorReign
Posted - Mar 17 2009 : 9:51PM
. 
I want to be ADT mod. I'll do anything. I'll give one of my balls and my left hand just make me mod 
- definitely worth the sacrifice.