Tropical Dick Down - review by bono-one| Author | Post |
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| Lexi_Love Member Lets Talk About SEX ! 301 Posts 10/05 | I am just curious to know what you never want to see in a porn movie again. Honestly, no sugar coating ALLOWED ;). [Link] |
| Cuddly Wombat Senior Member Just another bare bum in the shiower 1739 Posts 12/04 | |
| elgringoviejo58 Senior Member 1460 Posts 1/07 | |
| threesomebody Official BlowBang Judge Would you like my autograph? 2491 Posts 12/04 | Excessive gagging/drooling/puking during blowjobs - Know your limits, girls! I've never seen any performer that looks sexy while puking or with enough drool hanging from her face that she could pass for a St. Bernard. Gaping - Tight little sex holes are hot. Bowling ball returns are not. Yeah, I know there was just a giant dick in there stretching her open because I saw it. Now what I want to see is if she can pull that thing back together to really show what a trooper she really is! Now please don't respond telling me how much you like this stuff, blah blah blah. Yeah, there is a market for everything, I am fully aware. But this is what I don't like. Not speaking for any of you other freaks. |
| ma meeshka Iconoclastic Member 3939 Posts 4/06 | |
| SexyHard Member 673 Posts 6/07 | |
| Boob Enthusiast Member 91 Posts 3/08 | 2. I don't like camera angles from behind the man's ass & between his legs. I'd like to see more side views and front views, please. I'd rather focus on the woman, and see camera angles that emphasize her curves and her beauty, without an ugly male ass & dangling testicles blocking up most of the screen. 3. I'm tired of seeing all the contorted, unrealistic, and uncomfortable-looking sex positions that people in real life would never/rarely use. It ruins the voyeuristic aspect when porn is too porn-y. I would be willing to sacrifice some views of penetration in order to see more realistic sex. 4. I don't like it when women spread their butt cheeks while having sex. I like it even less when men spread their butt cheeks for them (because I don't like seeing a woman's beautiful ass obstructed by ugly man hands). One of my favorite things is to see a woman's butt jiggle, and this gets ruined with all the spreading. Also, cheek-spreading is unrealistic. I've never known women in real life to just randomly spread their butt cheeks while having sex. So, this kills the voyeuristic element. When I see a woman spread her cheeks for the camera, I just feel like I'm watching a porn display rather than actually seeing two people fucking for pleasure. 5. I'd like to see less distracting zooming, panning and editing. Slow steady camerawork is more sensual and less intrusive than the jittery handheld stuff. Use tripods, dammit. 6. I'd just generally like to see more nice, fun sex, and less of the ugly degrading stuff. I enjoy some dominance/submission and fetishes (especially girl-girl watersports), but I don't see why it can't still be fun and tasteful rather than crude and ugly. Sex is still supposed to be enjoyable, even when it's "extreme". |
| Boob Enthusiast Member 91 Posts 3/08 | |
| Bobcat Senior Member 1490 Posts 2/08 | |
| Cornell Lingus Senior Member Carryin', contrarian, libertarian 2982 Posts 1/08 | -Spitting -Tattoos on the belly button or in the bush area. Actually I wouldn't mind seeing a lot of tats go away completely. -Gaping (except when its natural from a big cock just having been pulled out) -Cum farts -Julian -Directors nattering endlessly through the scene, especially when the players are really getting into the action -A girl drizzling cum out of her on a plate and licking it up -Fake tits (especially the ones that look like encased basketballs, or bowls with skin over them.) |
| HeyNow Oblivious Gold Star Hey! 5965 Posts 1/03 | |
| BigBobxxx Senior Member 2681 Posts 5/04 | |
| below_me Member An entire generation of men spoiled by a few kinky pornstars. You know who you are!! 654 Posts 9/07 | |
| IWAdult Member 628 Posts 5/06 | |
| popdog Member 865 Posts 5/05 | |
| Sean Renaud Member 181 Posts 7/07 | 2. Movies where all the girls look the same. I know that despite popular claims gentlemen really do prefer blondes but there are enough blacks and Latinas in the business that there is no excuse for five girls to all be blonde and nearly identical. Other than that I can't think of anything else I hope I never see again, there are plenty of things I'd like more of. |
| bigfoot Senior Member 1295 Posts 7/06 | Artistic Porn - Seriously, who the hell buys this stuff, who reviews it as if they were studying cinema and why does Michael Ninn still have a job? Stiff Performers - Hear me out on this one because I am not talking about erections, but rather guys who while fucking a lady will give the occasionally tit squeeze but otherwise keeps his hands out of the cameras way. When I fuck the Mrs., my hands are all over her body squuezing, teasing, running my nails over her sensitive areas; if were doing doggy, I gently rake her back with my fingernails; if she straddling me, I'm working her tits with my hands or mouth 80% of the time. The other 20%, my hands are on her ass, in her ass, gently raking her thighs, holding her face while I kiss her, etc., DVD Titles that proport to feature a star, let's say Lexi Love. What happens is, there are five scenes and you are in only one scene. In the 1980's Golden Age of Porn, A movie starring Lexi Love (had we a time machine) would have featured her in three or four scenes (usually all but one). Pornstars who become Contract Girls and stop doing the sexual scene like they did before they became Contract Girl in the first place. Does that make sense? Porn Stars who talk about their STD's in the BTS segment +1 on not seeing the guy's face when he cums, outlawing fake tits and the standard five question in the BTS segment |
| Blink Deactivated User 78 Posts 2/08 | |
| Gentleman Jon All-Star Member 1881 Posts 6/05 | |
| Jesse Midnite Member Commisioner of Porn Quality Control 522 Posts 2/08 | |
| RandomPrecision Senior Member Enjoy! 8175 Posts 3/06 | |
| Joey Starr Senior Member Still wanking after all these years. 8082 Posts 10/00 | |
| jrsl76 Senior Member Perfection 4024 Posts 8/07 | |
| Ramsey Senior Member Trina Michaels fan 10332 Posts 10/02 | |
| Cornell Lingus Senior Member Carryin', contrarian, libertarian 2982 Posts 1/08 | |
| PornoHolik Member 45 Posts 2/08 | 1. When the guy jacks himself off. I HATE it when the girl sucks him, then, one moment before he cums, he takes over and strokes himself off. LET HER FINISH IT. This is my Number One complaint. 2. Stupid interviews by stupid interviewers asking the same stupid questions. "Okay, what's your name? Lisa? Okay. Good. And how old are you? 19? Uh huh. Good. Okay. And your name is Lisa? Uh huh. Good. And you're 19?..." OH MY GOD PLEASE. 3. Guys who obsessively keep moving the girl's hair out of the way when it's NOT IN THE WAY. 4. Anything gross including choking, gagging, gapes, VOMIT (yuk!), face-covering facials like Peter North's, "squirting" that is sooo obviously pissing. 5. Guys who aren't throbbing, straight-up HARD. 6. Guys who have to hold the base of his cock in order to get it in. Aiming is one thing; snaking in a half-hard cock is another. 7. Girls who say "Ooooh, you're so hard," when he's half-hard at best. WE'RE NOT BLIND. 8. I totally agree with the fake-breast haters. I HATE 'em. I feel sorry for those girls. Sooo many gorgeous, sexy girls have ruined themselves with implants. I don't get it. 9. I also agree with those who don't like the director talking during a scene. SHUT THE FUCK UP. Or, at least, edit it out. |
| ddl33 Member 442 Posts 2/08 | |
| p_ramezap Senior Member 1549 Posts 5/03 | 2- Guys' assholes getting fingered or penetrated in any form. 3- fake tits 4- spitting in a girl's face or on her body 5- long slow blow jobs 6- POV 7- girls who can't stop talking during a scene or mumble the same words all the way 8- guys who can't stop talking during a scene or mumble the same words all the way 9- girls who call the guy, who they are having sex with, daddy 10- guys who call girls, who they are having sex with, mommy |
| TomChoad Member I Likes Ya 685 Posts 1/08 | I DO hate a lot of face slapping and spitting...and I definitely hate seeing the dude's ugly mug when he's about to burst... Edited by - TomChoad on 3/23/2008 12:31:18 AM |
| stinkfist Senior Member Subterfuge...... 7401 Posts 4/07 | |
| Dave_K99 Member 497 Posts 12/07 | 1. Bad fake tits (i.e. 95% of them). 2. Bad tattoos. I don't mind when they're artistic or subtle, but I don't find prison ink and graffiti tags very sexy on a woman's body. 3. Really fake moaning and groaning and dirty talk. Sometimes amusing, more often a bit embarrassing, and almost never sexy. 4. Puking, gagging, choking blowjobs. Unfortunately these days those freak-show acts seem to outnumber oral sex scenes that are actually erotic. 5. Shots of the grunting and groaning faces of sweaty porn studs. 6. Horrible jumpy editing (e.g. when it cuts instantly from one position to another, or when clothes simply vanish from the performer's body). 7. Most cum related activities other than swallowing or a facial. I don't find anything erotic about a girl drinking cold spunk from a glass, licking it up from the floor, or spitting it out and playing with it. 8. Bad music has me reaching for my mute button, which is a shame as I like to hear the sounds of sex. 9. Guys jerking themselves off for minutes before they cum. I can understand that this might be necessary, but surely it can be edited down a bit? 10. Wobbly camera work that gives me motion sickness. Some of the cameramen shooting for websites aren't even able to keep the girl in focus. Are half of them jerking off with their free hand while they're shooting? |
| monkey power Member Tim? 868 Posts 1/03 | |
| blowfish Member 874 Posts 1/08 | |
| assloving1 Member 37 Posts 10/04 | |
| Porn Scout Deactivated User 3735 Posts 10/02 | I dislike bush, especially great big hairy ones. I don't like spitting of any kind. I get nothing out of watching a guy eat a girl out or rim her asshole. I don't like girl/girl scenes that are all about toys. I especially hate strap-ons, weird looking dildos, and the mandatory double-headed dildo that seems to pop up in all of these scenes. |
| BlackSix All-Star Member pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07 | Anyways, to keep OT, I agree with about 90% of what others have mentioned here, but I want to really emphasize the overacting so many performers are encouraged to do; it is much sexier and more believable when a woman moans softly or dirty talks. |
| Ramsey Senior Member Trina Michaels fan 10332 Posts 10/02 | |
| Urko Member England 56 Posts 11/06 | 1)Guys that shoot nothing or a pathetic dribble for a cumshot. 2)Tattoo's,pierced tongues,male spitting. 3)Titfuck where the guy removes his cock from the girls tits for the cumshot.When are we ever going to see a titfuck to completion? 4)DPs,Hairy pussies + asse's. 5)Too much drool during blowjobs,YUK! 6)If a girl pukes while doing 5,please edit it out and clean her up before resuming filming. 7)Facial cumshot that misses the target.How the hell can you miss from like 3 inches away. Edited by - Urko on 3/22/2008 8:39:09 AM |
| Cerebral Jedi Senior Member I don't trust men who don't like big tits. 1067 Posts 12/04 | BIG tats. Tats that cover a huge part of the body. Only a fine chick like Sophia Santi can get away with it. And there ain't many women that fine. Tats on the stomach or lower, around the pussy. "Natural" meaning small tits/no tits. A girl blowing more than one guy and the guys dicks are touching. When more than one guy is about to cum on a chick and their REAL close to each other, facing each other and shooting off in the other guys direction. Chicks trying to hide their stomach by wearing something around their waist during their whole scene. Uh your fucking on film for money, but your embarrassed by a lil paunch or stretch marks? Fuck out of here. |
| Johnothan Pedak Senior Member Catastrophe 1594 Posts 6/07 | |
| spitty Member 730 Posts 12/04 | 2. slapping, choking , screaming , and non stop swearing 3. dominant men in scenes with 2 girls 4. dry blow jobs - I want to see as much spit as possible 5. men that never shut up . any male voices or faces bother me. 6. male spitting - leave it to the women please 7. weird angles , too much camera movement ,fast zooming, bad lighting. 8. outdoor scenes 9. pierced tongues 10. toe sucking , feet fetish 11. toys in g/g scenes - use your tongues for crying out loud 12. sex in uncomfortable places - ex. staircase , chair , etc. 13. scene fading out too quickly when girls are cumkissing - let it go on for a while before ending the scene. 14. cumswapping with no kissing - if the girls are not into each other , what's the point of cumswapping ? 15. g/g/b scenes where the girls are not interacting |
| WhiteBOY Member 305 Posts 11/06 | 2. Old guys or guys NOT looking young, fucking MILF's 3. Kurt Lockwood shamelessly promoting his website in the BTS 4. John Strong 5. Starlets claiming it's their "first time on video", when they have 300+ in filmography 6. Pornstars that's not into it at all 7. Male talent with bent/semi-hard banana cocks (Lee Stone/ Alex Gonz/ Will Powers + + ) 8. Sterile, bleeched, white-washed colours in dvd (see Slutty & sluttier 4 for example) 9. Assholes and not sympathic persons like Ben English 10. Strap-on's in Christian XXX's triathlete, brownish shithole More Gagging, A2M, Spreading Cheeks, Cum-farting, Guys licking girls asses, White men on black girls, Facesitting, Everhard, Mynx, Lauren Phoenix, Internal cumshots and of course KISSING! |
| SaraJayFan Member Underneath Sara Jay 200 Posts 4/04 | 1) Another creampie movie where the dude's cumshot is on the pussy instead of balls deep in it. 2) Another DP movie where one dude is slamming away and the other dude has no idea what's going on. 3) Another movie where the cameraman seems to think he should be part of the scene. 4) Another movie where the dude stops just when the chick yells "FUCK MEEEEE!" 5) Another movie where the chick sucks him off until he cums all over her face. 6) Another movie with a phat assed chick and the dude has his hands over her ass. 7) Another movie with stupid shit like cum gargling, choking, puking, dued's foot in her face, slapping, etc. This isn't sexy. |
| Dither Persona non grata I love America 650 Posts 8/05 | |
| loop Senior Member 1409 Posts 9/03 | male's feet and assholes (keep them out of frame) dry blow jobs dominant guys guys getting fucked in the ass with a strap-on bad camera work long shots bad lighting and dark footage black and white slow motion male cumshot (especially if it's in the beginning of a scene) music in the sceene and bad audio painful anal or toys that are too big for the girl to handle. more than 1 guy per scene artistic porn where u can't see the action shoes on girls (boots are the worst) stockings Edited by - loop on 3/22/2008 1:46:56 PM |
| Hypermastia Deactivated User These R The Buttocks Of Ryan Star: No Butt Can Compare 248 Posts 6/07 | |
| bigfoot Senior Member 1295 Posts 7/06 | However, Michael Ninn has directed close to 100 titles and 4 out of 100 is not much to hang your hat on. I've been burned much more often than not with titles like Fem: L'Amour, Catherine and Sacred Sin. I know there are people out there that think this stuff is brilliant. I am not one of them. |
| typvgs Member 46 Posts 9/05 | 2. Sames as others: angles where all you can see is the guy ass and the woman's pussy. 3. Too much make up (expect in scenes where it is necessary to achieve a particular look). 4. Unattractive male performers. 5. Bad lighting. |
| Uppercut Member 74 Posts 3/08 | - chatty cameramen - performers who stare into the camera while getting it on - gynocological shots - spitting (by either party) - choking, gagging, etc. - guys with huge cocks that dribble out tiny cumshots Another extreme dislike that I haven't seen mentioned yet is women who wear 20 pound "fuck me" shoes during the entire shoot. First of all, they look incredibly uncomfortable. Secondly, they often get in the way of the scene due to their enormous size. Finally, they make no sense. Who would wear shoes like that in the first place, especially at the beach or the pool? I saw a scene once in which the woman was wearing these shoes in the shower. WTF? |
| jrsl76 Senior Member Perfection 4024 Posts 8/07 |
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| blowfish Member 874 Posts 1/08 |
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