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melt wrote:
I would like to ask you a serious question which must affect virtually all porn performers. What does one do when ones partner says "I want to give porn a try" ? Perhaps I should open a new thread relating to this topic but maybe you can give us an indication as to how you and your boyfriend handle all the conflicting emotions that are bound to surface and with relationships hard enough without these added complications how the two of you cope?

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Let's just say it's been a rough road.
I was thinking and debating on porn since before my bf and I even got together. I'm not 100% sure why the thought came to my mind, maybe it was because I'm a freak and like to be watched and recorded!? Who knows.
When my bf and I started dating, I asked him what he thought of the idea and he said that it wasn't something he was against by any means and thought I'd be great at it. He had a gf once that was in escorting so he had been in a relationship that was something like what I wanted to do and he saw nothing wrong with it. Money was really tight at the time, I was sick of being a pointless waitress living paycheck, to paycheck, so I said fuck it and started to try and figure out how to get into it. We did a lot of talking and researching and then boom, I met the right people and it all kind of fell together.
I was really nervous that he'd be cool with it at first and then we'd fall apart but we've been together 8 months and I started porn when we were at our 4 month point. My bf was really into me being in porn in the beginning, telling anyone that was cool with the idea because he was so excited but over time, he's laid off a bit. He's really proud of me because I'm out making money instead of sitting around living on welfare (like a lot of people nowadays) and saving my money so that I can go to school. Yes, I could get loans and all of that crap and still be a waitress but it'd be a lot harder for me. What job can you name that makes the kind of money that I do in a short amount of time, that also leaves a lot of time open to spend with friends and family, and when the time comes, allow me to be able to go to school full time and not have to worry about money? You tell me a job that can do all of that by keeping me financially stable that doesn't involve doing porn, and I'll do it.
I love what I do, but I don't like hurting my friends and family by doing this (most of my friends have found out recently). My boyfriend however, stands up for me when people talk shit and is always there for me when I need him. He really is my backbone through all of this. He loves me no matter what I do and knows that I go to work for 2 weeks in Cali and then come home to him. When I'm home, I try not to involve my work into my personal life because I like keeping the 2 seperate. My bf hadn't watched my porn until recently because he didn't like watching me fuck other guys on film, but this last trip to Cali when I was gone, he did because he missed me so much.
We're actually a really kinky couple because we're trying to be swingers, but it's a hard thing to get into. We've had 3somes and he and I are totally cool with it, so who knows what will come out of that. It's even harder now because if the couple finds out that I'm in the adult business, then it becomes them just wanting to fuck a pornstar.
Porn has put a little stress on our relationship at times but it's also made us closer. I'm gone 2 weeks at a time and by the time I'm about to come home, I miss him so much I feel like I'm going to burst. Instead of being up each other's ass all the of time, we get time to miss each other. I think that's really good for a relationship because you wind up really appreciating one another.
We have rules for when I do porn, such as no creampies, swallowing or anal. I do those things with him only because we find them something you do with the one you're intimate with. I don't really enjoy the kissing/making out that is done in porn but it's usually sloppy and "slutty" when done in a scene so I brush it off. I kiss my bf like I mean it and he knows the difference. I love coming home to him and even more, fucking him because I honestly think our sex life is better then porn. I've told him before he should get into it because he's THAT good, but it's not his thing. I'd also think we'd get even closer as a couple because he'd understand the biz a WHOLE lot better from being in it, but we're doing pretty awesome the way things are.
Who's to say that things won't remain like this? We have really good communication in our relationship and we've been through a lot of shit already so I don't think something like porn is going to ruin us. Like I said, it's brought us closer and he knows that it's just work. I think it's a badass job, but the money involved is the icing on the cake ;-)

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