They said it immediately. There was never any illusion that she wasn't also dealing with a drug addiction. And for the record, Penny/Jennifer said she was a monster for having sex with other children. Dr. Drew kept telling her that she was not.
Savoy, you make a very good point. This is exactly my concern. I think the axiom that everyone should desire to have a romantic relationship is the reason why people may abuse the term sex addict. I also believe that sex addiction within this show's framework is entirely subjective. The patients desire a long term relationship. I don't think there is a strong argument to label someone unhealthy if they have no desire to have a long term romantic relationship but have plenty of platonic relationships. Whether they have sex without any emotional committment is irrelevant.
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Posted - Dec 15 2009 : 11:47AM
Addiction:From the Sex Rehab cast bios: Nicole Narin, who, before she went to rehab, would spend all day masturbating. She could not stop herself. Or Duncan Roy, who is especially obsessed with internet porn, to the point that days will go by unnoticed as he surfs the internet for pornography. Or Amber is a love and sex addict who stalks men resembling her father, and is desperate to break the cycle. Then there is James Lovett, the surfer dude. He has slept with several of his friends' wives, destroying relationships all over the place. Since he went pro and started touring, he has been going on sex binges, sleeping with multiple women at a time. Addiction is not about someone choosing not to have long term relationships, its about not being able to. It's about compulsions, so strong, that cause someone to not be able to make that choice. Someone like Tiger Woods, would be considered to be addicted, if his compulsion to have risky, impersonal sex with multiple woman, at the cost of his children, his wife, his family and his career. The problem comes when real choice is taken away.
Perhaps or perhaps some people disagree with the latent criteria used to determine sex addiction. To be brutally honest, I don't think I can ever see sex addiction as serious or as concrete as drug addiction. Drug addiction is still the most compelling addiction in our country. I am actually waiting for the season premier of Dr. Drew's drug rehab show. Sex addiction is a term which is decided by the person who feels they are victim. The patients on this show believe that sex is disrupting their desire for intimacy. But there are plenty of people who simply want to have non-oommitted sex and they are not sex addicts.This is a serious problem if Duncan has a job or he has other responsiblities. It seems like he may fit the defintion. I have a question, you provided us characteristics of a sex addict. Does one need to fit all of the characteristics to qualify as a sex addict?
I can see what you're saying since many of the people on the show are there because they realized they had a problem due to lack of intimate relationships in their lives. The show really does stress it a lot and many tears have been shed over it. If I recall, there is one who don't fit that argument. Duncan seems to be there because he is unable to function and wastes days and days masturbating and using porn. I've yet to hear him mention anything about wanting a relationship or hurting because he lacks intimacy in his life. It's more like - "I don't get anything done." I guess it's better tv to watch people hurt.
I'm a sex addict. I just can't get laid. Do I still need help? Or a skin graft for my left hand?
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Posted - Dec 16 2009 : 10:00PM
Justice44, Unfortunately we sometimes try too hard, I think, to categorize everything. In the end emotional pain, is emotional pain, no matter what the label is. The black former Playboy model says that she would spend all day in bed masturbating, unable to get up and deal with life. I think that is certainly an example of addiction. But I also think that the underlying problem for her may have very well been depression. Are we then to assume that the underlying cause for all addictions is depression? Cure the depression, cure the addiction? I don't know. Amber Smith, in the first episode spoke of repeatedly going out all day, every day, shopping for a man. What is that if it is not addiction? In her very 1st blog on http://becomingjennie.com, Jennie surprised me, by writing that sex addiction was really about an inability to be emotionally intimate with anyone. I had never considered that before. In her last couple of entries she has been talking about making amends (she is following the 12 steps) to guys, who she had had relationships with(beside all of the anonymous, sometimes drunken, booty calls she repeatedly had) that she just stepped away from, abruptly, without even a goodbye, when they started to get to close to her. She also talked about her abuse of alcohol and marijuana, which she has stopped and apparently, has been sober for 7 or 8 months (I think she went to Sober House as well). So I guess you are asking is there difference between addictions and I am thinking there isn't much. In fact all of the cast members say that they also had very big drug and alcohol problems. Does that mean all drugies have intimacy problems or do all sex addicts have drug problems? I think Tigger Woods is an interesting example of someone who struggles with intimacy, but does not seem to have problems with alcohol or drugs (I realize that I could be assuming a lot here). I have heard him, referred to as a serial womanizer. however. What can you say about a person, who seems to be so driven by sex, that he would risk damaging all that he has built, to have sex with a dozen or so bimbos? It sure sounds like an addiction to me. Regarding Duncan, we do hear something about him constantly surfing, uncontrollably, the net looking for porn. He also seems to have predilections to having lots of sex with straight men, but we don't really know if he has a compulsion to do it. But his issues have really not been fleshed out. However, 3 weeks of treatment has been consolidated into maybe 8 or 10 hours. A whole lot of details, as we have said before, have been left on the cutting room floor. There are plenty of people who participate in lots of sex with lots of people and that doesn't make them addicted to the behavior, I think. But lots of those people don't get married or make exclusive commitments to others, that they can't keep. I am sure lots of these people go to work and have otherwise orderly lives, and are not compulsed to search for sexual release every moment of the day, much like a heron user searches for their drug of choice or an alcoholic, searches for another drink. Not every drinker is an alcoholic. I don't think it matters much what you call it.
Edited by - Clam Digger on 12/16/2009 10:11:01 PM
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Posted - Dec 17 2009 : 7:51PM
from Jennie's latest post on Huffingtom Post: <brJennifer Ketcham: Liars, Tigers and Porn Stars ... Oh My! (17 December 2009)<br Poor Tiger Woods. There must be something wrong with him. What man isn't satisfied with billions of dollars from endorsements, a beautiful model wife and a brand new baby? Ranking at #1 and recently named Athlete of the Decade would be any man's dream of the perfect life, or so I assume. But assumptions always get me in trouble, and Tiger Woods and I have something in common other than (apparently) making love to fresh faced porn stars. I, like Woods, am a compulsive cheater. But unlike Woods, I am in recovery for my intimacy issues, and it's those issues that have led me to sabotage every intimate relationship I've ever had. I am unable to say what is wrong with Tiger, but I am starting to figure out what is wrong with me, and maybe it's applicable to the world famous golfer. If you speak with my ex-boyfriends, they will tell you I was wonderful. Perfect. Very private and difficult to read but lovely over all. Up until the point where I cheated on them and then disappeared. Initially, there was one "other man" opposite the man I choose as a mate. As I grew older, and more uncomfortable at the thought of settling down, or the potential of marriage, the number of other men increased. This is how I dealt with closeness. While I've never been alone and have maintained the exterior appearance of perfection, I've always been lonely and perfectly imperfect. Intimacy terrifies me, and when a relationship starts to get serious, I get uncomfortable in my skin and subconsciously do all I can to destroy the relationship. I cheat. Lie. Start doing hardcore porn behind my boyfriends back. I can never figure out what's going on in the midst of it, but once that fat lady sings, I know he got too close to my heart, and felt my heart deserved to be untouched........... Edited by - Clam Digger on 12/17/2009 7:52:35 PM Edited by - Clam Digger on 12/17/2009 7:53:52 PM
You're right. That is why I suspect that Dr. Drew's defintion of sex addiction is too broad. I think he holds an implicit axiom that every sexual experience should have equal value to most sex in serious relationships. I don't subscribe to that type of view when I have no reason to believe that many sexless marriages are as happy as marriages that are monogamous.I agree.That's a good question.Amber is a very nice lady that has a lot of issues, I hope she gets well.Jennie wants to become intimate with someone. This is where this is a more of a subjective addiction. Her preference to be intimate is major component of defining her addiction.I don't know. This seems like more of an assumption. I view Tiger as a clown who refused to use self control and could care less how it effected her wife.This to me is demonizing term equivalent to calling a woman a slut. The issue I have with tiger is that he had sex with multiple partners in a marriage which clearly demanded monogammy. When he had an emotional affair with a woman, it was even more toxic to his marriage. This is why his wife is going to divorce him.It could say that Tiger perhaps does not believe in mongammy but he does not want to be ostracized by society. It could mean Tiger believes in monogammy but had internal issues with his wife that lead him to cheat. It could also mean that Tiger is addicted to sex. I think tiger being a sex addict is the least likely. Since I don't know Tiger, I can not comment on it. I agree with you the women Tiger is having sex with are absolute TOOLS!
What terrifies you about intimacy? This is not a rhetorical question. I truly want to know. I simplty do not believe a romantic relationship is neccessary to complete a human being. There are a lot of risks involved in having a romantic relationship just like there are risks involved in pursuing financial freedom. Yet fearing the former is viewed as a disorder. Just be certain that you truly want to be in monogamous relationship or long term relationship and your decision is not clouded by what society wants.Unfortunately, that is something that will serioulsy hurt your boyfriend.
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Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 4:11PM
I never heard him say that. What I have heard him say is that behavior that takes control of a person's life, to such an extent that a person is powerless to alter the behavior, is an addiction. To my knowledge Dr. Drew is not opposed to people having sex, casual or not. All of the participants acknowledged that their sex/love experiences have fallen into that category, which is why they sought help. Don't consider this directed at you, but I think too many posters on this thread, have been obsessed with Dr. Drew and have not paid sufficient attention to the patients themselves.Though I do believe that she is looking for emotional intimacy with others, her behavior is no different then the other members of the group. Her MO was to hit the bars, become somewhat sloshed and then bring somebody home for basically anonymous sex, which is hardly about sharing intimacies with someone else.Yes obviously, as I acknowledged, anything to do with Tiger is an assumption, as we really don't know much of the details from any reliable source. But dismissing him as a clown is somewhat begging the question. He is no more or no less of a clown then any of the participants of Dr. Drew's sex rehab. I think he could be a classic example of someone who is addicted. He certainly seems to not to have been able to control himself, especially with having so much to loose. You seem to be saying that the underlying cause for his troubles, is that he is simply a clown. We all do what we do for a reason. If he is a clown, then what is causing that behavior? Addiction, does not absolve anyone from responsibility. I think the measure of a person's character, is after confronting the problem, what do they do about it.We have no idea what Tiger believes, which is what most of the controversy is about. We all thought we knew what he was and what he stood for. IMHO, he is being punished more for failing to live live up to our expectations, then for anything he actually has done. But you seem to be blaming the victim here, which is is wife, and of course his family. The only "internal" issue of their marriage, would seem to me to be, is his inability to be committed to it. Which leads me to conclude that he fits the same mold as Jennie and her friends.I can only respond to Duncan's issues from what he says about them and himself. As a child he was regularly sexually abused by a family member. Among other things, he spends a lot of time perusing porn sites when he needs to be doing other things. He has not been able to help himself. Porn watching is not the problem, its his inability to control it, is the problem. IMHO, when it comes to addictions, it's the uncontrollable compulsion itself that causes the problem, not porn, sex, booze or drugs. Edit to clean up formatting issues Edited by - Clam Digger on 12/21/2009 9:16:21 PM
Whew. It's over. I don't think I could have handled another episode. Did anyone else notice that the feel-good-we-all-love-rehab montage was filled with clips that never aired? 8 episodes is a short season.
In my view, Penny could have helped Duncan with his problem and then they would all be happy.
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Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 9:13PM
If you get to see the last 2 episodes, James (who made the rape remark) underwent an amazing transformation.
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Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 9:37PM
I know you have watched every episode that I have, but I thought there was plenty of this-is-hard-and-we-all-hate-being-here, through out this seasons show, as well. I did notice, as you have pointed out, quite a few clips were of the never seen before variety. I do wonder, with so much material at hand, why they didn't lengthen it out to 9 or 10 episodes. But others obviously thought, maybe you included, that 1-8 was too many. Not to be redundant, as I just mentioned this in my previous post, I was quite surprised how much Jim, the surfer dude changed. I also thought Amber took some very big steps, for her. I found Kendra was a bit troubling. It's a good thing for that her husband is very supportive and that she went for the out-treatment and apparently has signed up for Sober House. Edited by - Clam Digger on 12/21/2009 9:39:08 PM
#SDNY he's all yours. -- Michael Steele 5110 Posts 3/03
Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 10:04PM
Take away the Kari-Anne-being-a-cunt sequences, and it's four episodes. Maybe three. I think what happened here is that some MTV exec decided that there was going to be a Celebrity Sex Addict series, but they were subsequently just unable to find any celebrities who were willing to be identified as such. Most of the cast was clearly just there because it was a job, and probably the only job of any kind whatsoever in show business that anyone was going to offer them (Amber Smith, the black girl, Kendra Jade). It was an exit strategy from porn for the Flame. The skater dude was there, I suspect, because someone told him there would be free food. The male-menopause drummer and the self-loathing gay guy had issues, but neither really seemed like sex addicts.
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Posted - Dec 21 2009 : 11:18PM
^And you learned all this from watching how many episodes?
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. 1048 Posts 7/04
Posted - Dec 22 2009 : 12:11AM
Judging from some responses here this is one of the most important TV series in all of television history. We must consider ourselves lucky to be witness to such greatness.
@Clam Digger and everybody else: On Twitter, I noticed that Alyssa Milano watched "Sex Rehab" and mentioned to Jennie/Penny that she was her (Alyssa's) favourite. The post was made on Dec. 23 at 7:28 pm. By the way, Happy Holidays! Edited by - matchmaker on 12/26/2009 1:30:02 AM
You have to keep in mind that this type of show/addiction really doesn't make for compelling tv the same way the drug addiction shows do. After a awhile it just becomes frustrated people sitting around talking and or complaining. There's no real relapses, interesting withdrawals, sneaking in drugs, trying to figure out if someone is using again, or bizzare behavior in the same way like there is with drug addiction. From what I understand Karrie Ann was let go somewhere before the halfway point but she was in all the episodes except one. That kinda shows that after she left there wasn't much drama to play off of or play after she got booted. When all is said and done, it's a tv show and it has to be somewhat entertaining. I suspect that we got to see most of the compelling/entertaining/interesting moments the show had to offer. I'm a fan of the series and think they ended it at about the right time. Although I must say the editing annoys me. They spend too much time repeating the same clips before and after commercials.
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Posted - Dec 26 2009 : 1:21PM
I've never seen the drug rehab shows, but I understand your point, after having experienced my grandson's heroin addiction (he's been clean and sober for 18 months now). My comments about the number of episodes had to do with my that there seemed to be a lot missing from the individual stories and progress of patients. We know for example, a lot about Jennie's process as much from what see has written as we know from the show. Then there is, from my POV, James, the surfer guy. His metamorphosis into a pretty mature young man who really got what they were there for, I found remarkable. My feeling about this may have come from my experience with my grandson, who is about the same age. But on the whole I agree with you.
Draxxx - I can watch an hour of people working on their hoarding addiction and be riveted. There was plenty of material with this cast, but it seems that VH1 opts for drama queen antics over watching people really work through their problems. My favorite parts where the 1-on-1's. I especially liked it when a family member was brought in. I enjoyed the talking parts. :) I guess it just easier to throw some sensationalistic fighting clips together than to create truly involving television. The producers seemed to really like it when the rehab-ers talked about each other behind their backs. Ugh. Can't we just spend more than 3 minutes in group, listening to people talk? It's like the further we went in the episode, the less and less therapy we got to watch. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how it felt. I agree with you that the series was done, I just thought it was an odd number of episodes.
^ It's VH1 show. Think about the demographic and what type of shows do well for them. Yes, there were interesting moments throughout from all the celebs but it's drama/conflict that drives these types of shows. I would imagine after awhile after karrie ann left there wasn't a whole lot of the type drama left that the VH1 demographic would be interested in.
Yes. But for a tv show the best of those types of moments were pretty much done. Yes, actually working through problems is interesting but it's not as riveting as the "big reveals" where you hear the stories that got them all to the place they were. I think we saw all the revelations, breaking down, crying and "coming to terms" moments that make for great tv. I totally agree that we didn't get to see a lot but I think we saw the best.Really? In a lot of ways I think James was one of the patients that probably got the least from it as far as what he actually came there for. I think his maturity was always there but he probably isn't forced to display it often. I think the show helped Penny, Ducan and the drummer guy the most. In a lot of ways Penny was probably the most broken and worked the hardest. I think Ducan left with the clearest vision of what was wrong with him. The drummer guy seemed to have the biggest burden lifted of his chest and got to let go of a lot of pent up grief/anger. That's what i think from what they showed us on the show.
pornography wasn't sex but fantasies of an impossibly hospitable world 12377 Posts 9/07
Posted - Dec 27 2009 : 8:32AM
These reality shows are always terribly edited and paced. They drag out material that could be covered in a single 45 minute to hour long doc to 12 hours or more. I find them very boring, the only reason I'm watching this one is because Jennie/Penny is in it.
I soooooo agree with this comment. It is sooooo true, Oprah ran Phil off the map and then gave us all those clones that we see today and even some of the crap call reality tv came from her sorry ass. She doomed us in sooooo many ways, her hatred of men and promoting silly women to do silly things....leads to her coming back to topics like the one in November and beyond.
I would have to disagree with your assessment. I don’t think my statements infer that his wife or his family is at fault in any degree. I would agree that I am placing responsibility for Tiger’s mess at Tiger’s feet. After all, he engaged in sexual activity which was forbidden in his type of marriage. His wife was not guilty of violating a mutually agreed upon rule. I actually think Tiger's wife and family are the faultless victims here. The jury is still out on whether tiger is a victim of addiction. By the way, I believe that you implied that you had some issues with how porn is presented by directors. I was curious if there was any porn that you could find as a healthy form of entertainment. In other words, do you have a problem with the current depiction of porn, or do you have a problem with any depiction of explicit sex?I don’t see any empirical evidence that he is unable to control himself. I believe that the number of women he has slept is no indication of this. That is simply a reflection of high variety of women. Perhaps he feels he can not control himself. However, it could be viewed that his appearance at a sex re-hab clinic seems opportunistic and convenient. He may have engaged in this activity because he believed he would never get caught. Edited by - Justice44 on 1/24/2010 4:34:07 PM
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it's a reflection on how relationships work in society today they don't there's a lot of frustration especially for guys that's who those titles are made for Edited by - cm37564 on 2/7/2010 10:58:10 AM
Do you think femdom titles reflect the same thing of frustration for women? Perhaps I am biased but I do not think misanderic(anti-man) views are as dominant in the viewers of femdom than the titles that we have discussed. I simply see femdom and dominatrix titles as sexual theater.
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Posted - Feb 7 2010 : 9:23PM
^But we are, after all,e talking about obsessive behavior. Viewing any kind of porn is not really the issue, it's the constant viewing of it, day and night, to the point that stops being fun and becomes a chore. When it interferes with one's ability to function, then there is a problem. Edited by - Clam Digger on 2/8/2010 12:03:34 AM
Maybe not all femdom titles, but femdom strap-on titles are misandrist as fuck. have you ever seen one where the premise is not about either revenge, punishment or "the rules have changed"? That's why often if a girl starts doing these almost exclusively, it's a sign she's about to retire. I think there's a little bit of that in the "cum eating cuckolds" stuff too. I am probably biased also, considering I don't think most of these girls actually like men in the first place. (I mean, how many think their fans are losers? nothing personal toward any actress, i just don't have this illusion that most of them are sweethearts) Edited by - cm37564 on 2/19/2010 7:31:40 AM
Remember the quote from Jurassic Park? "Life finds a way". Again, the human animal is supposed to be utterly obsessed with and consumed by the pursuit of sex. It is nothing more complicated than the human body and mind rerouting and taking an alternate course so it can do what it's supposed to do in an environment that is completely different from the one humans are supposed to exist in. The average person's sex drive has no idea it's not supposed to do what instinct compels it to do.
If you want hardcore misandry, just turn on your TV. You'll probably see more genuine man-hatin' in an hour of TV than you could find on any porn site.
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Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 2:01PM
Yes but porn isn't sex, which is what I was referring to. Porn may be a stimulus to sex, but it is not sex. But even though sex is a very big part of the human condition it is not the only part. We all have to eat, cloth and house ourselves. If we have a family (however is is defined), we have a responsibility to take care of each other. If something in our lives, becomes so compulsive or addictive, to the point that our other needs are ignored, we have a problem. Edited by - Clam Digger on 2/19/2010 2:15:08 PM
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Posted - Feb 19 2010 : 2:13PM
Relationships can and do work in this society. The key part is "work". We've got to work on them. We also have to understand that as we age, our needs change and as they do, our relationships change. Successful, long term, relationships, I think, need some fluidity, which is very hard to achieve. I am not a pessimist, relationships today are no harder to maintain then they ever have been.
that's nice dear here in the real world, I only know 3 men who are happily married (marriage doesn't benefit males anyway though), the rest. . .let's just say the show Married...With Children is somehow better than some of these peoples situations.
Edited by - cm37564 on 2/20/2010 6:10:50 PM
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Posted - Feb 20 2010 : 6:47PM
^I didn't say that everyone's relationship/marriage was successful. I don't think most of us where ever prepared for the work that is required to have a successful one.
Penny Flame @ Adult Empire
Posted - Dec 14 2009 : 4:21AM
The post was made on Dec. 23 at 7:28 pm.