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All Forums > The Porn Pool > The Porn Pool Forum Page 5 > Shit in porn you don't understand > Shit in porn you don't understand (page 11)
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AuthorPost
charn
fubar

2880 Posts
12/09
Posted - Feb 7 2010 : 5:49PM
the worst lack of editing i've seen is in Girlfun, probably Girlfun 1. one woman leaves to find a dildo and the other woman chats with the director for quite a while. crap like that made the Cockless series seem hot.
bootymeister
Senior Member

Gravity as Curved Space: Bootymeister's Theory of General Relativity
1589 Posts
11/08
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 5:32PM
I do not understand why when the camera follows a lady walking, the view stays glued to her ass.
jbailes
Member

Be like water, my friend
137 Posts
1/10
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 9:29PM
I don't understand why the camera work in porn is so consistently lousy. No matter how much the fans complain, it never changes. It's always the same angles, the awful ultra wide angle lens, boring close ups of genitals, shitty color, shitty exposure and on and on and on. You'd think a guy who shoots so many flicks the same way would have to get creative eventually out of sheer boredom
No kidding, buddy. I just posted a thread while back about camera angles
posthum
Member

349 Posts
12/09
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 12:16AM
^ Agree. I tried to watch Tres Flores some days ago, the camera is so shaky you get motion-sickness from it. As if the person filming it was too drunk to stand still.
 
Moony
Member

143 Posts
8/08
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 12:59PM
Guys slapping the girl about the face or hooking fingers in her mouth whilst fucking - dont see the need, instant turn off.
Girls spitting on the camera lens - great now I cant see what the fucks going on.
Over the top screaming/vocalisation - it always sounds lame so STFU.
BBW movies where the girls have their bellys covered - if I buy a BBW DVD its because I want to see flesh - and lots of it.
Massive fake anti-grav tit movies - sorry just dont see the appeal.
Sweaty, hairy old blokes (they are especially bad in BBW porn) - I dont get hot looking at guys bodies, but if I have to watch a guy fucking, I dont want him to look like my dad.
Unneccesary Props - I have one DVD where there is a gangbang by a swimming pool, and one guy is squirting a water pistol (no not a euphamism) for half the fucking scene. Put it the fuck down.
Overly long lead ins - just get on with it.

Fernandez
Deactivated User

781 Posts
12/08
Posted - Mar 10 2010 : 6:35AM
This I like!
ninja1
Senior Member

2939 Posts
1/08
Posted - Mar 10 2010 : 11:17AM
Would you like it any less if the camera follows her from a few feet away rather than 6 inches away? I wanna see her ass and legs, all the way to the ground. If you want just the booty, you can press ZOOM on your DVD remote.
jezzard
Member

Is there anything more beautiful and erotic in the world than a woman licking another woman's anus?
51 Posts
12/09
Posted - Mar 11 2010 : 12:12PM
Fake breasts
Shaved pussies
Stripper heels (especially those vile disgusting platform ones)
Gonzo/talking to the camera (with the odd exception, like Bionica and Sasha's
lesbian scene in an early Buttman flick, 1989, in my top 10 best dyke scenes)
Lesbians giving blowjobs to a dildo/strap ons, in fact strap ons *END OF STORY*
Dildo in pussy action (Anus only please, and lube the anus, not the dildo, it looks so much kinkier)
Guys staring at lesbian action on the sly (more annoying in golden age action than modern stuff, basically because the older stuff is generally better and therefore loses the erotic edge because of this. Lesbian action doesn't need some douche behind the curtain staring like a weirdo, no men whithin 1,000 miles of lesbian action PLEASE)
alexl467
Member

Bklyn, NY
873 Posts
4/03
Posted - Mar 11 2010 : 12:51PM
One of the things I really hate is when I'm watching a porn scene and/or movie and there's a lot of camera noise caused from the way it's being operated by the camera person.
alexl467
Edited by - alexl467 on 3/11/2010 12:53:43 PM
charn
fubar

2880 Posts
12/09
Posted - Mar 12 2010 : 6:35AM
^exactly. it's a huge flaw in a vast quantity of porn that can be solved by just hanging a microphone away from the camera, or telling one of the bums always hanging around shoots to hold a microphone taped to a broomstick. or clip a body mic to the fishnets that can't look any uglier so they might as well have some hardware attached.
soragesum
Member

78 Posts
3/10
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 11:18PM
Sorry.. didn't read all 15+ pages, so sure it's been said before.
But what I hate the most is a guy fucking a stone cold fox, and yet having to jerk himself off in order to cum. I HATE HATE HATE THAT!
Hell.. with half the women out there is porn.. I would be cumming before I even got my pants off. My second and third cum shots would be the ones we would have to work for, and I still wouldn't have to take matters into my own hands!
But what I don't understand the most.. is the utter lack of pure raw LUST. That is what I am drawn to an am compelled to seek out. Yet its the most illusive thing out there. I suppose probably because the hottest sex out there.. isn't necissarily being done in front of a camera. Sure.. I see lots of porn that has something in it that turns me on. A position, a latex outfit, a woman bound in a certain way.. etc. etc. But just the raw animalistic lust of two people who are so into each other that they can't get enough of each other and looks like they are going to keep on fucking LONG after the cameras stop. It's just so hard to find any scenes like that.
ILVBUTT
Member

Nice & Juicy!
925 Posts
9/09
Posted - Mar 16 2010 : 11:31PM
Agreed. This is good. What I don't like is when some videos start, you have to listen to the male talent for about 20 minutes talking to the camera(saying what they are about to get and what they're going to do..blah..blah..blah..) before they bring in the girl. This is not good.
If this was already mentioned, sorry for repeating it. :)
alexl467
Member

Bklyn, NY
873 Posts
4/03
Posted - Mar 17 2010 : 2:22PM
Another thing I hate is when scenes include off camera directions (i.e. move your hair or do this or do that) that could have been easily eliminated with some basic editing tricks, such as ausio editing over the off camera directions with some room tone sounds.
alexl467
lenecplusultra
Deactivated User

L'enfer, c'est les autres
59 Posts
3/10
Posted - Mar 28 2010 : 11:33AM
I could not read the whole thing, so excuse me if this has been said before.
I don't know why the women in porn don't like kissing. Why would you refuse to kiss someone when you will suck their dick, lick their ass and let them cum in your mouth?
They would rather suck a dick that just got out their own ass, or someone else's than kiss the guy. It's just weird.
 
Imaginative
Deactivated User

158 Posts
5/05
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 3:16AM
I have been watching porn for 25 years, and have never seen "good implants." I have never been fooled by fakes. The human body does not look anything like that in nature (although I've heard some women say, they don't like the way boobs look in nature).
One thing I REALLY don't get is women who "fix" the most PERFECT natural racks; i.e. Sophie Dee, Lela Starr, to name two. Those are two women who come to mind who were in my top five and one point, but have been completely completely ignored by me since surgery.
One thing that is mentioned a LOT in the thread is POV. I used to hate POV porn, but once I combined it with my Erotic Electro-Stimulation (E-Stim, if you don't know what it is, look it up.) sessions for completely hands-free masturbation, extended edging and hands-free orgasms, it took it to a level I never imagined. Once I got into it, I appreciated it also for featuring my favorite physical attribute on a woman, her face.
Edited by - imaginative on 3/29/2010 3:26:55 AM
Imaginative
Deactivated User

158 Posts
5/05
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 6:00AM
+1. I've always hated outdoor scenes, and even worse, scenes where the action is happening in water (i.e. pool).
RandomPrecision
Senior Member

Enjoy!
8175 Posts
3/06
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 6:55AM
I hate the way they always tell the women to arch their backs and stick their butts out unnaturally and constantly. I also hate it when it's obvious the women are making a conscious effort to do this, whether they've actually been told to or not. I don't understand why it seems to be the belief that this is the only way a woman's body looks sexy. In fact, most of the time, it looks like she's uncomfortable and it looks very unnatural and it makes their asses look very strange. I hate HATE HATE! this!
Mojo
Deactivated User

1223 Posts
9/03
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 12:35PM
Cuckold
Acting out sex with fake "Ooohs and Ahhhs".
Running commentaries from the girls about what's happening to them. "There's a BIG cock in my pussy and ass at the same time!"
Mouthy annoying cameramen (especially that guy who sounds like he's high on something).
Porn girls thinking that punters find tats sexy.
Un-natural sex positions.
The girls who pay more attention to the camera than the guy they're fucking.
Girls who are just there for the money and act like it.
Edited by - Mojo on 3/29/2010 12:36:26 PM
The Ghost of Cal Jammer
Senior Member

2207 Posts
7/09
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 1:29PM
Why the men are so fucking ugly and the girls are so fucking hot.
monkey power
Member

Tim?
868 Posts
1/03
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 1:33PM
to talkative camera guy:
make a decision. Are you doing comedy or porn? if you're going to be talking the whole time to tell the performers "look at me, now suck it, now suck the other one, look at me.....", then you're doing a comedy. Just let me know ahead of time so I can pull my pants back up and watch the movie as a comedy and not a porn. But it's annoying when you sell it as porn and then I get stuck with a tape of your rehearsal session instead of a final product.
to all the members of Team Tat:
Janine appears to be your inspiration since you all have the same arm full of tats. She made the body paint look good for several years because she was so hot that not even tats could undo her hotness. Then even she went too far, and the rest of you with the Janine arms and necks and foreheads.... you know how the bee keeper outfits worn by the islams make us shake our heads and say "Why do they do that to themselves?" Well, tattoos are the west's version of "why are they all doing that?"
Edited by - Monkey Power on 3/29/2010 2:23:42 PM
torris
Senior Member

Deep within Mila's anus
1827 Posts
1/00
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 1:58PM
I consider Lethal Hardcore to be on the lower rent side of things b/c of the washed out Kmart quality cameras they use. It just smacks of cheapness on their part
torris
Senior Member

Deep within Mila's anus
1827 Posts
1/00
Posted - Mar 29 2010 : 2:11PM
Visible hemorroids
dlhardin
Member

62 Posts
3/09
Posted - Mar 30 2010 : 4:53PM
I don't understand where all of these girls' daddies are! :P
MonkeySpank
Deactivated User

14 Posts
1/10
Posted - Mar 31 2010 : 9:07PM
Something that made me think... just sayin'.
http://article.nationalreview.com/429884/getting-serious-about-pornography/anonymous
 
DD Talent
New Member

"The very best in adult entertainment management."
1 Posts
3/10
Posted - Mar 31 2010 : 9:21PM
Deliberate cumshot in the eyes. WTF?
RandomPrecision
Senior Member

Enjoy!
8175 Posts
3/06
Posted - Apr 1 2010 : 1:06AM
Who let this lunatic out of the asylum? Oh, excuse me, I need a fix. I can't breath without images of fake tits.
Gore Gore Girl All-Star Supporter
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09
Posted - Apr 1 2010 : 8:17AM
^ Sounds like you're at stage 3 RP, careful. It's a slippery slope toward finally "acting out" and getting those implants you've been obsessing over.
Fernandez
Deactivated User

781 Posts
12/08
Posted - Apr 29 2010 : 10:59PM
Fantasy.
bootymeister
Senior Member

Gravity as Curved Space: Bootymeister's Theory of General Relativity
1589 Posts
11/08
Posted - Apr 30 2010 : 8:11PM

Dropping a load on the forehead.
the unknown pervert
Deactivated User

I'd like to stay but I've got a plane to catch.
3243 Posts
5/06
Posted - May 1 2010 : 9:16AM
The practice of gripping the woman's head like you are trying to open a jar of mayonnaise while you are getting blown.
charn
fubar

2880 Posts
12/09
Posted - May 1 2010 : 1:27PM
the hatred of Democrats but not Republicans in porn forums.
RandomPrecision
Senior Member

Enjoy!
8175 Posts
3/06
Posted - May 1 2010 : 3:40PM
I did the Republican hating thing for 8 years. It was time to give it a rest for a while when the Republicans weren't running things anymore. Truth be told, I never hated Democrats until they started acting like Republicans. I thought I was a Democrat but they won a couple of elections and showed me the error of my ways.
Edited by - randomprecision on 5/1/2010 3:41:34 PM
ntfighter
Member

645 Posts
7/07
Posted - May 2 2010 : 1:13PM
The fascination with all things cum. Cum on faces, boobs, food, Cum in the hair. Cum-sickles, fried cum. That last one makes me nauseous. Cum distance, velocity, viscosity, color, coverage, volume and texture. I don't get it at all.
BonesJones
Member

Ass Is Everything
849 Posts
12/09
Posted - May 3 2010 : 1:23AM
I hate when the cameraman decides to zoom on a male talent's face during the money shot.
This is where I usually get off with my jerking off and I don't need 10 seconds of a dude's face on the screen.
Directors, cameramen, producers please stop doing that! Thank.
 
EvilMonkey
Member

55 Posts
9/06
Posted - May 3 2010 : 12:59PM
I mostly watch G/G exclusively....straight porn has too many guys jerking off for my tastes :), but here's a couple new ones (I don't think they have been mentioned before)
1) I hate when there's a cut and the people are in a new position. Maybe it's just me, but I like to see the people actually moving positions...not just a fade-out and then a fade-in and they're doing something different.
2) I hate when toys magically appear from nowhere. Usually they are under a pillow or something. Who keeps dildos in their couch cushons?
3) When they don't show the actual penetration (be it dick, toy, or finger), but instead are zoomed in on a face or something. Of course, I prefer to see the face as well, so whether it's zoomed in on the face or genitals, it doesn't matter...I just want the camera pulled back a bit. I love to see the look on her face when penetration is made, so like to have both in the frame.
Edited by - evilmonkey on 5/3/2010 1:06:28 PM
AsianAnalPantyhoserGuy
Deactivated User

Ass fucking/ foot fetish/ pantyhose= insanity!
465 Posts
3/10
Posted - May 3 2010 : 1:05PM
I thought I was the only one.
JohnW
Senior Member

1351 Posts
6/08
Posted - May 3 2010 : 1:11PM
Thats right out of the fundamentalist textbook. Seems they're a weak-minded bunch.
torris
Senior Member

Deep within Mila's anus
1827 Posts
1/00
Posted - May 3 2010 : 1:29PM
Brilliant political synopsis but to keep on topic. I don't understand cum shots on a girl's back, buttcheeks or belly. Where is the eroticism in that to treat a girl like your cumrag. To keep the cumshot spectacle in context: cum belongs on the face, down the gullett, or in pussy and/or ass. Anywhere else is beyond lame and terribly unerotic and rather insulting quite frankly
monkey power
Member

Tim?
868 Posts
1/03
Posted - May 3 2010 : 1:54PM
Yeah, my suggestion is to still go ahead and tape the guy's orgasm face, but show it at a completely random moment during the scene instead of at the end. Kind of like you're playing Where's Waldo? with that orgasm face, hiding it somewhere in the scene like an Easter Egg! Or, if that's too ridiculous for you serious pornographers, you could still use this guy-face footage meaningfully like so:
"insert" the shot of the guy's orgasm-face only a minute or so before the actual jizzblast as a signal to the home viewer ("the jerker") that the scene is entering the home stretch, so that when we see the shot of the guy going "OAHAAH!!!" it would tell us ("The Jerkers") that there's going to be cum soon, so it's time for us ("jerkers") to "Get serious, y'all!"
Gore Gore Girl All-Star Supporter
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09
Posted - May 3 2010 : 2:12PM
Am I the only person here who actually likes expressions of pleasure on the guy's face? (depending on who it is of course).
monkey power
Member

Tim?
868 Posts
1/03
Posted - May 3 2010 : 2:21PM
that's why if I were king the 5 seconds of guy-face showing him going "OAHAHA!!" would still be included in the scene! For you! It just wouldn't appear during when the rest of us were going "A@^&%OHHA!"
The major sports already have an arrangement like this. For example, Sunday Night Football doesn't televise a game the weekend of the Baseball All-Star Game, because that's when baseball is going "OOOHHH!" and so football politely steps aside so as not to step on baseball's "OOOHHH!" with its own "OHAOAHA!"
Gore Gore Girl All-Star Supporter
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

7238 Posts
1/09
Posted - May 3 2010 : 2:40PM
^ Gotcha. An egalitarian O-face.
angelconcordia
Member

21 Posts
5/10
Posted - May 3 2010 : 3:22PM
agree with you jrsl76
JohnW
Senior Member

1351 Posts
6/08
Posted - May 3 2010 : 4:56PM
There is a compromise solution.. use a wider shot so that we guys can rest our eyes on the girl. You make a good point that not only men are watching porn, so I'm not arguing to ban a man's face in porn (though with the current state of male talent I'm sure even some girls wouldn't mind that.. hehe). It just seems to me that guys are a lot more bothered with shots of the guy's face than women are with a girl in the frame. Unless the guy is creepy in some way (like 70% of male porn stars *sigh*) I have not problem with seeing him as long as he's not the only thing in the picture for extended periods or for that very important cumshot phase.
Edited by - johnw on 5/3/2010 4:59:00 PM
stinkfist
Senior Member

Subterfuge......
7401 Posts
4/07
Posted - May 3 2010 : 5:15PM
In facial scenes when the guys almost draw there cum along the girls face/forehead etc.It's not a pop shot more of Woooo look at me im Rolf Harris and i can draw.
Savoy All-Star Supporter
All-Star Member

Sucker for Sinners
1844 Posts
12/06
Posted - May 3 2010 : 6:04PM
Haha. You were the only girlperson.
I too like to see the men's faces, but I hate that FAKE O-face close-up. The typical insert shot to edit down the jack-off time from 5 minutes to 5 seconds. I'd much rather try to catch his facial expressions in a medium shot then cut to the pop.
Edited by - savoy on 5/3/2010 6:05:14 PM
htb066
Member

69 Posts
11/08
Posted - May 21 2010 : 3:19PM
fucking on pool tables. i see it all the time, and it seems like a stupid gimmick to me.
Jonny Jay All-Star Supporter
Outlier Moderator

5990 Posts
8/09
Posted - May 21 2010 : 3:33PM
^Yeah whats all that about.
ninja1
Senior Member

2939 Posts
1/08
Posted - May 21 2010 : 3:47PM
Pool tables are a good convenient height for sex, and have clearance on all 4 sides for good camera angles. The same can't be said for couches or beds. If you think of it as a sex platform, rather than a game table, it might make more sense.
JohnW
Senior Member

1351 Posts
6/08
Posted - May 21 2010 : 3:52PM
I think its same reason that a lot of porn is shot in luxury apartments, it feeds into the fantasy of money, power and sex.
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